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I grew up not far from Penishapentre, which I didn't even realise contained a rude word until a couple of years ago.

"Open the platform side doors, HAL." "I'm sorry, Dave; I'm afraid I can't do that."

The thing about T-keys (possibly excluding the ones with pins in the middle of the lock) is that they're by no means exclusive to the railways. I know of more than one instance away from the public transport sector where people have been looking for a lock to deter casual access to an area, and...

I just found myself thinking "Blimey, there's a lot of smoke coming out of the cylinder on the far right". And then I looked, and saw a cup of tea sitting to the right of my laptop; not smoke, just steam from the tea.

Not on my watch, they won't! Frankly, what people write on forums and what gets written elsewhere (published media, business communications, legal documents) are two very different matters, and it'll be a brave newspaper editor who stands in front of his newsroom and says "Alright, team - from...

Another one that's not uncommon... stationary and stationery. As in "a stationery train"; I know we had a recent thread complaining about the amount of paperwork on the railways, but devoting an entire train to carrying it is a bit steep!

Cor! This one again! :wink: Have a look at this thread: http://www.railforums.co.uk/showthread.php?t=44972

I do rather like the iPhone's autocorrect feature sometimes. Often, I'll be in the middle of typing a word and realise that by deft of being a fat-fingered oaf, I've messed it up somewhere along the line; fortunately, the phone seems to know what I meant, and neatly changes it for me. It does...

Not my own work, I should add. No idea who to credit, though.

I've not had any memorable excuses myself, but a colleague did once manage "The A1 was blocked after a wide load hit its own escort vehicle."

Anyone spotted these? Click for image

Of course, what they should have said is:

The only issue I seem to have when getting on buses around here is the odd politeness stand-off! "Go on, you first", "No, really, it's fine", etc etc... Incidentally... I'm intrigued to hear that Swansea has a new bus station. Is it less unpleasant than the Quadrant?

...which is the crux of the matter. I believe BTP aim to get lines open within 90 minutes if the death is non-suspicious, so it's not as if they're unaware of the implications of an extended closure. For them to undertake a closure of nearly five hours says to me that they must have had their...

I was on one of my occasional trips on the Metro yesterday, and happened to notice a flattish thing between the wheels on each bogie, a small distance from the rail - is that the electromagnetic brake you referred to? Edit: Well, what are the chances of that? Already answered in another thread...

Not a train, but a National Express coach service. A chap who was attempting to move house tried to load various things into the luggage space. Several wicker hampers full of clothes, and a CRT TV!

Surely if it was a suicide attempt by someone who knew about third rails, they'd do it bare footed, to be sure?

As I understand it, he's living with his Mum (or was, until the boys in blue got their hands on him!). That should help his money stretch a bit further.

And boy, can it cause confusion! I've had it happen to me at least twice on my way into Darlington from the North. On both occasions, I found myself looking out of the window, wondering where the platform was. On the second occasion, the steward with the trolley had positioned himself in...

Looking at it purely from a frequency standpoint, GSM-R is in a very similar range to where the UK's two 900MHz GSM networks (O2 and Vodafone) are. I'm not sure what you mean by "Very British", as the G in GSM stands for "Global"! HSxPA and WCDMA are both parts of UMTS (3G), which operates...