Viewing material on ipad - whose right/wrong and would the BTP get involved

[Bromley boy]

if you was sat on a train with your 5 yr old kid and the person sitting next to them was watching the Texas Chainsaw Massacre on their i-pad and your child could see it... would YOU expect said person to take reasonable care to ensure your child couldn't see it?

No I wouldn’t because that person would have no responsibility for my child. Why should they?

As a parent in that situation I would swap seats with my child so that they couldn’t see it, or move elsewhere. I wouldn’t impose on a stranger.

 

[Teflon Lettuce]

No I wouldn’t because that person would have no responsibility for my child. Why should they?

As a parent in that situation I would swap seats with my child so that they couldn’t see it, or move elsewhere. I wouldn’t impose on a stranger.

What if you were on a 3 abreast seat, the train was rammed full so there were no other seats... and the stranger was in the middle of the 3 seats...

What then?

 

[Bromley boy]

I said her correct approach should've been apologetic and conciliatory... and would, most likely, have had a better result for what she wanted {her child not able to see the content}

As to moving seats... we don't know whether that was an option... it could be that the train was rammed and they were the only available seats...

If no other seats to move to/some other factor are not aware of then I’d agree. But asking should have been the last resort.

The best solution would have been for the mother to perhaps swap seats and sit next to the watcher, with the children sat next to each other opposite.

 

[Bromley boy]

and what if you were on a 3 abreast seat, the train was rammed full so there were no other seats... and the stranger was in the middle of the 3 seats... what then?

There are any number of hypothetical scenarios we could discuss, but the topic at hand is the mumsnet scenario which we know was described as follows:

Travelling on a train, sat at a table of four seats. Opposite me was a woman with one of her kids and her other one was next to me. Once next to her was a toddler and the one next to me probably about 6/7.

In this particular situation it would have been far more polite for the mother to have simply swapped seats with the 7yo, rather than imposing on a stranger, in my view.

 

[AlterEgo]

here is the original forum post.



https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_b...her-kids-to-mind-her-own-business?pg=1&order=

Most of them appear to be bat****

Mumsnet is awful.

 

[AlterEgo]

correct way for mother to ask for consideration: "Excuse me, sorry to disturb you... but I'd rather my child didn't see what you're watching. Could you turn the ipad round a bit. Much appreciated"

Appropriate response of ipad watcher to the demand of mother to stop watching programme "no, but I understand your concern... how about I turn the ipad round so your child can't see it?"

jeez have we all become so absorbed in our tech devices now that we've all forgotten how to communicate effectively and politely with each other through speech?

Amazing it’s taken so long in this thread for someone to post exactly what should happen in a civilised society.

 

[nlogax]

Mumsnet is awful.

Correct.

 

[Gemz91]

If the child was sat next to the women watching Homeland, how could the mother see what the lady was watching, unless the child had already seen it and told her mum that the lady sitting next to her was watching Homeland, in which case, the child would have already had to have seen Homeland to know what Homeland was.

 

[142blue]

Best turn off my choice of horror movies when travelling then

What a lot of nonsense

 

[sprunt]

No I wouldn’t because that person would have no responsibility for my child. Why should they?

It's not a question of responsibility for the child, it's a question of showing consideration for others when using a public shared space. Things that are appropriate in your home aren't always appropriate in such areas, and it's not unreasonable to expect someone to take their surroundings into account and, as others have suggested, to take the very small step of tilting the screen away from the child. It's less effort that it would be for me to get my headphones out of my bag if I wanted to listen to some music on the train, but if I didn't do so I'd be rightly condemned for it.

 

[theironroad]

'titling' the tablet isn't always possible or convenient for the person watching, especially if in an airline style seat with only a small drop down ledge table.

If there is a train manager, they don't have the power to order someone to turn off a tablet and btp would really only be interested if it was illegal pornorgraphy or terrorist related material.

The woman and child in question here should have moved if they were offeneded and if the person watching homeland didn't want to stop watching their tablet, they should be allowed to carry on watching in peace.

Having said that, I am aware that some airlines have occasionally asked passengers to be mindful of their surroundings when watching content on their own devices and on occasion I have chosen not to watch a programme on iPlayer on a plane and train if it's particularly violent or sexualiy graphic just in case it might offend someone, especially on a plane when it could be much harder to move seats.

 

[Alteran Ancient]

If I know that something is graphically explicit, then I'm going to be mindful of my surroundings - but for the most part, I would expect to be able to watch shows like "Homeland" or "Game of Thrones" that have an 16+ or 18+ rating, so long as I'm not forcing a small child to watch it. Unless you're not wearing headphones, then it might be a problem if people can hear what is being said.

The diplomatic solution would have just been to have the mother swap seats with the child, rather than make a big deal about it and then rile-up social media.

 

[CAF397]

And if this child was kicking off screaming would the woman who was watching the tablet - with headphones - ask the parent to keep their child quiet as they are disturbing their watching?

Who would be right there? This country is broken.

 

[Bantamzen]

I wonder how those responding on mumsnet would react travelling on many medium & long distance flights that offer a wide variety of video entertainment on their flights? Whilst someone using a personal device could turn it slightly to prevent a child next to them seeing the content, on a plane the screen (in economy at least) would be build into the seat in front.

 

[WelshBluebird]

Considering the mother asked the person to stop playing candy crush too (because "her kids wanted to play it and she didn't allow it and it would upset them"), I think the real answer is the mother is totally nuts and the person was right to tell her where to shove it.

 

[nlogax]

I wonder how those responding on mumsnet would react travelling on many medium & long distance flights that offer a wide variety of video entertainment on their flights? Whilst someone using a personal device could turn it slightly to prevent a child next to them seeing the content, on a plane the screen (in economy at least) would be build into the seat in front.

Many IFE systems come with parental locks these days - and privacy filters for the screens themselves.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Considering the mother asked the person to stop playing candy crush too (because "her kids wanted to play it and she didn't allow it and it would upset them"), I think the real answer is the mother is totally nuts and the person was right to tell her where to shove it.

Now *that* would have been met with "I understand why you might not want your child to see an 18 film on my tablet, but it's really none of your business what games I choose to play. If you don't like it, I'm afraid you will have to move to sit elsewhere".

Mind you at least *she* wasn't playing kids' TV out loud. This is by far the biggest irritant on trains for me at the moment - use headphones! It's so irritating that I'd like to see a change to the relevant Byelaw (and some enforcement of it) prohibiting the playing of audio such that it can be heard by others regardless of whether it causes irritation or not, allowing it to be enforced without a complaint being needed.

I did once ask someone to leave the quiet coach who was doing this. Unbelievable, and brought a round of applause from other passengers.

 

[sprunt]

I did once ask someone to leave the quiet coach who was doing this. Unbelievable, and brought a round of applause from other passengers.

I hope you told them all to shush!

 

[jon0844]

Now *that* would have been met with "I understand why you might not want your child to see an 18 film on my tablet, but it's really none of your business what games I choose to play. If you don't like it, I'm afraid you will have to move to sit elsewhere".

Mind you at least *she* wasn't playing kids' TV out loud. This is by far the biggest irritant on trains for me at the moment - use headphones! It's so irritating that I'd like to see a change to the relevant Byelaw (and some enforcement of it) prohibiting the playing of audio such that it can be heard by others regardless of whether it causes irritation or not, allowing it to be enforced without a complaint being needed.

I did once ask someone to leave the quiet coach who was doing this. Unbelievable, and brought a round of applause from other passengers.

My six year old knows to have the sound off if he hasn't got headphones and when he does, he asks if I can hear the sound.

The only problem now is if he asks something with the headphones on and shouts!

 

[Mag_seven]

Amazing it’s taken so long in this thread for someone to post exactly what should happen in a civilised society.

Trouble is we are not one of those now.

 

[WelshBluebird]

Amazing it’s taken so long in this thread for someone to post exactly what should happen in a civilised society.

Do you include not playing candy crush in that assessment too?

 

[adrock1976]

I wonder what the lady with the children response would have been if it was Doctor Who, The Boy from Space (from the BBC's "Look and Read" series), or even historic 1980s news footage of Thatcher that the passenger next to the child was viewing.

All three of those gave me nightmares back then.

Also, some children's cartoons such as Tom and Jerry could be quite violent too.

 

[NoOnesFool]

Some people, like that mother, just need to get a life and stop complaining about things that don't concern them. If I want to watch a film like Die Hard, carry on writing my erotic fiction novel, or view a program like Homeland on a train, as long as I've got headphones in and the wireless internet connection will allow it, I will, complaint or no complaint.

As long as I'm acting within the law, then they can either like it or lump it.

I agree with you, especially on the last sentence.

 

[Robertj21a]

Either a polite request, or just swap seats.

Simples.

 

[Mag_seven]

Either a polite request, or just swap seats.

Simples.

Why do that when you can just get involved in a barney over the issue and then plaster it all over social media!

 

[bramling]

I read a thread on another forum which basically goes:

Woman sitting on train watching Homeland on a tablet sat on the table with head phones
6 year old kid next to them
Kids mother asks woman to stop watching it as its not suitable for her child to see
Woman refuses

75% of the responses basically said woman was unreasonable and no one should watch that sort of thing in public as even adults might find the sex/violence offensive

20% thought the mother should parent her kid properly

But what made me post here was........ about 5% said the train manager should have made the woman turn it off and if not the BTP should be called and have the woman arrested for displaying sexual material to a minor.

I have a suspicion that the BTP wouldn't even bother responding and I can imagine some train managers might find it amusing. I can imagine the headlines now.........

This reminds me why my car seems to be used increasingly as the preferred choice for journeys nowadays.... None of these silly squabbles which arise through trains being increasingly crowded.

 

[kristiang85]

As long as the person watching it was using headphones, I don't see the problem (noise is the main annoyance from electronic devices). If the material was suitable for mainstream TV, its suitable for a personal device in public.

I learned from a very early age its rude to look over other peoples' shoulders at what they are reading, and in the modern age the same goes for peoples' devices.

Assumng the child was looking and it wasn't the mother making up something to be offended by, the mother should have admonished her child for being rude, and swapped seats if she was really concerned.

 

[DelW]

Who would be right there? This country is broken.

Not really, I doubt if these minor squabbles are unique to Britain.
It's worth remembering that for every argument that gets blown out of all proportion as this one seems to have been, there are tens, hundreds, or thousands of cases daily where they are resolved politely and no-one ever hears of them. I doubt they are new, either - before smartphones and tablets, there were ordinary mobiles, Walkmen from 1980s onward, transistor radios from 1960s onward, and before then probably people talking too loudly. The only real difference is that in those days, only a few others in the coach would have known about it, now it's all over the interweb.

 

[northwichcat]

Of note Homeland is included in Netflix and certain mobile providers allow you to use mobile data to watch Netflix without it coming out of your data allowance, so I imagine this woman isn't the first or last to watch Homeland on a train.

 

[northwichcat]

Considering the mother asked the person to stop playing candy crush too (because "her kids wanted to play it and she didn't allow it and it would upset them"), I think the real answer is the mother is totally nuts and the person was right to tell her where to shove it.

What next she'll be demanding someone refrains from eating chocolate biscuits on the train because her children aren't allowed chocolate biscuits.