Thanks buddy ?

[Busaholic]

Out of curiosity up I checked my dictionary, this is the 3rd definition given....

"Madam" often refers to a woman, usually older, who manages a brothel, escort service or some other form of prostitution for profit, that is, a procuress.


I should add I was oblivious until complaints were received at my work!
I've been sending job applications this week, and all the cover letters were addressed sir/madam!

Why can't we be more like the French and use the words Monsieur/Madame without irony or class distinction? Answers on a postcard please, but not to me.

 

[GatwickDepress]

It's sort of got a French link, and sort of (a small minority of) people actively looking to be offended.

It's like people who crow about "berk" being extremely offensive, as it's short for an item of rhyming slang that itself refers to a much ruder word, while in common parlance "berk" about as offensive as "pillock". As you say, a lot of people actively look to be offended and often use etymology or alternative definitions to try and validate that.

This is how I became aware it's seen as derogatory. By saying it at work to customers who've then complained. Not one or two it was around 15-20 customers before it was feedback to me.

Really? I use "madam" as standard at work and I deal with hundreds of customers a day; none of who have complained. I suppose where you work might have higher standards than a supermarket!

 

[LateThanNever]

A high proportion of female shop assistants in Cornwall address all their customers as 'darling', male or female, first time they've seen them or not. It doesn't bother me, but I know some get vexed. Male shop assistants tend not to offer endearments, but 'buddy' would be the most common, also with delivery drivers. 'Mate' is another one, but I know that does infuriate some. As long as I've had pleasant and efficient service, that's all that matters imo. I know shopowners who will not address anyone as 'sir' or 'madam' because they consider it obsequious, which it can but needn't be.

I can only mourn the declining popularity of the West Country, and particularly Cornish, form of address "my lover" with a nice rolled 'r' at the end. "Yes,my lover?" still happens, but not nearly often enough!

 

[Mutant Lemming]

It's like people who crow about "berk" being extremely offensive, as it's short for an item of rhyming slang that itself refers to a much ruder word, while in common parlance "berk" about as offensive as "pillock". As you say, a lot of people actively look to be offended and often use etymology or alternative definitions to try and validate that.


Really? I use "madam" as standard at work and I deal with hundreds of customers a day; none of who have complained. I suppose where you work might have higher standards than a supermarket!

It's probably a more generational thing. Those old war films on the telly of an afternoon use ruddy to replace bloody. Used to get a smack for saying bloody as a child now it is hardly considered a 'rude' word at all. More recently we had plonker and fekk to replace words on television considered offensive.

As for Madam/Madame it was the usual term at most retail outlets for women of a certain age (still is at many I'm sure). If some people find it insulting pretty much endorses what I said early - keep your interactions with the public minimal and to the point. Now it is even down to dropping the gender element of address - just a plain Good Morning then.

 

[northernchris]

I was on a VTEC service from Edinburgh this afternoon, sat next to an Australian family in first class. I was quite surprised to hear the first class hosts (and possibly the guard too, not certain on that though) address the fairly young (no older than 13) children as sir.

Under East Coast when travelling First Class I was usually called sir by the hosts, which seemed very 80s and quite robotic/impersonal. Then once one of the hosts called everyone 'love' - which seemed a bit more natural given she was Leeds based

 

[Busaholic]

I can only mourn the declining popularity of the West Country, and particularly Cornish, form of address "my lover" with a nice rolled 'r' at the end. "Yes,my lover?" still happens, but not nearly often enough!

Very disconcerting too if you're a teenager from London working in Minehead on a summer job in the 60s and you are addressed as such by a male colleague, a cleaner about fifty years my senior

 

[Bromley boy]

Very disconcerting too if you're a teenager from London working in Minehead on a summer job in the 60s and you are addressed as such by a male colleague, a cleaner about fifty years my senior

Could have been worse. He could have offered to "take you up the sidings"?!

 

[rebmcr]

"I'm not your buddy, guy!"

 

[Lockwood]

"I'm not your guy, friend!"

 

[GatwickDepress]

"I'm not your friend, buddy!"

 

[BestWestern]

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, I ain't your partner. I ain't your neighbour, your brother, or your friend. I'm your total stranger."

Said Samuel L Jackson to Bruce Willis

 

[Harbornite]

Could have been worse. He could have offered to "take you up the sidings"?!

Or he could have offered to lubricate his piston. Sheesh!

 

[MidnightFlyer]

No problem at all with being called mate, buddy, boss, chief, lad, sir, friend or whatever else by anyone at all, be they train guard, shop assistant or indeed just a total stranger. I tend to use 'mate' personally.

As for the possibility for saying it at the wrong time, it tends to have the opposite effect on me - if I'm feeling down or annoyed about something the informality and friendliness can help me lighten up a bit if anything.

 

[WestCoast]

I know staff mean well when they address individuals differently but sometimes I think it's a bit awkward for the passenger behind you to get a gushing "thank you Sir" and you get a brief "ta mate". It's not offensive just I find it a bit awkward. I realise most wouldn't even notice and it's almost always meant well but for that reason I've always avoided using Sir/mate when I've worked in customer service roles. I've always thought it at least gives the impression I'm giving the same level of service to everyone.

 

[EAD]

It's not a railway thing, it's society in general getting less formal.

Even the Germans like using "du" in formal situations these days rather than "Sie"!

I find it really depends where you are in Germany - yes it has relaxed and people are happier to go to du much more quickly than they used to, but it still depends on ages, context, if rank is involved e.g. at work, etc. I personally have no issue with that as I think the two forms of you make sense. Of course English has lost that with limited regional exceptions.

I always used to smile when with my German colleagues - you could be on a conference call and the boss would use Sie and your surname, as would everyone else to each other when in German. As soon as you switched to English it was first names.

 

[Muzer]

Don't thee thou me, thee thou thissen, and 'ow tha likes thee thouing

(Note: Not actually from Yorkshire)

 

[Cliveblackpool]

I can only mourn the declining popularity of the West Country, and particularly Cornish, form of address "my lover" with a nice rolled 'r' at the end. "Yes,my lover?" still happens, but not nearly often enough!

'Me' (h)andsome' - another favourite in Cornwall.

(When I was selling to business customers/ professional buyers
formal address sir /madam & handshake was expected)

Should conductors address travelers, with their name on their ticket etc as Mr/ Mrs M xxxxxx? lol

I think 'good morning/afternoon/ evening', finished with a 'thank you'
'Bud' sounds American.