Well 380s are incompatible with earlier Desiros as the coupler is mounted the opposite way up,
Not exactly.
The coupler is not "the other way up".
At least not if you mean the whole coupler.
The coupler itself - the mechanical bit - is the same. If you look at a 380 and a.n.other Desiro the concave bit is always on the right as you look at the front of the unit (i.e. the concave bit is on the drivers side) while the convex bit is on the left as you look at it (i.e. the convex bit on the second mans side).
I believe the heights of all those couplers are the same (that is more of a question than a statement).
The difference is the non mechanical contact box on a 380 is above the mechanical coupler but below on a.n.other Desiro.
Mechanical coupling for emergency rescue should be possible between the type versions, although obviously they can't connect further than that.
The same applies to 222s for example - their contact box is above the coupler wheras most other diesel units are below. I assume a 390 coupler must be the same as a 220/221 coupler ? But - another question - a 22x/390 coupler is not the same height as the EMU couplers ? I'm sure I must have some bits wrong here.
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Nick