Stupid questions from passengers

[Skoodle]

A passenger asked me "which train is the first to leave?"
"Where are you travelling to?" I asked back.
"Work".

 

[lxfe_mxtterz]

The typical turnaround for me at Waterloo is usually something like...

"Does this train go to Guildford?"
"Yes, but it's the slow one. There's a fast one on platform X which will get you there in half an hour."
"Oh, I'm only going to Clapham Junction."

"Does this train go to Clapham Junction?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Well I should hope so, otherwise I'm working the wrong train."
At which point, they walk off and ask one of the dispatchers the same question...

 

[The exile]

“Which side gets the most sun?”
“Is this train going first?” (when clearly on the buffers with another train in front).
“Which way’s the train going?” (again when at the buffers).

Considering auto announcements get played at platforms with buffer stops warning people to stand clear because the next train that platform doesn’t stop at the station, one can perhaps forgive their confusion.

 

[InkyScrolls]

There’s no such thing as a stupid question if you’re in an unfamiliar environment and need reassurance.

As I was told, there’s no such thing as stupid questions, but there are stupid answers.

I agree, no matter how stupid a question seems to knowledgeable railway staff passengers should be treated with respect and assisted as far as possible.

Well there very much are such things as stupid questions, many of which rail staff receive daily - that does not mean the passenger should be treated as stupid, obviously! But they do make good messroom laughs.

The best ones I get frequently are the old 'which way is this train going' when it's on the buffers, and people arguing with me, the driver, over where it's stopping...

 

[800001]

No question asked by a customer should ever be thought of as ‘stupid’, to them it is a question which they feel is genuine and needs asking.

 

[Adrian1980uk]

I still remember, not on the railway but bus, asking for the 'city' as being used to coming in from the villages but this time I was traveling across the city so I had rather confused driver explain I was in the city.

 

[DanNCL]

Had this at Peterborough last year whilst waiting for a Northbound LNER.

A lady came up to me and asked “How do I get on the train?” whilst pointing at a loaded container train which had paused at the platform.

I responded “I don’t think you want this one”.

The lady replies “yes, I definitely need to be on this one!”

I then reply “this is a freight train you definitely don’t want this one”

She then turns, walks about 10 metres along the platform then asks a staff member who proceeds to tell her exactly the same thing I had.

 

[noddingdonkey]

So “Is this train for X?” then “does it stop at Y” when they could simply ask “does this train stop at Y?”

I guess their ticket to X may have had a route restriction for via Y only?

 

[InkyScrolls]

No question asked by a customer should ever be thought of as ‘stupid’, to them it is a question which they feel is genuine and needs asking.

Some questions are, however, indicative of a certain lack of common sense.

 

[izvor]

Well there very much are such things as stupid questions, many of which rail staff receive daily - that does not mean the passenger should be treated as stupid, obviously!

Exactly. But sometimes one's patience is tested to beyond the limits.

"Which platform for the London train?"
(look at departure screen) "Looks like platform 1 (or whatever)"
"Are you sure?"
"Well, I work on the buses, not the trains. (show badge) I'm just trying to help. The screen says platform 1"
"You should still know. It's all the same company."
"I can assure you it's not the same company. If you want to make sure, ask at the ticket office" (point to ticket office right next to us)
"You should still know."
"I work on the buses, not the trains. I can't be expected to know what platform every train goes from. Would you ask an electrician to repair your gas pipes?"
"Well yes, I would actually!"
(shrug shoulders and walk away)

 

[Iskra]

two trains permissive working one against buffers
Pax “which one is leaving first?”

Again train against buffers
Pax: is it going this direction (points left) or this direction (points right towards buffers and the the station shops)

I was stood outside of the train under the platform screen which said Manchester Piccadilly, front of train said Manchester Piccadilly, there was currently a station announcement saying “the train on platform *** is a Manchester Piccadilly train calling at ….
Pax: “is this the Manchester Piccadilly train?” (This one is a daily one)

Was once a tram driver driving along a road section and a car suddenly stopped and parked but blocking my way, I got on the horn and the driver got out and furiously told me to “go around” it actually led to an argument because he couldn’t comprehend that this was impossible for me to do.

I’ve also had passengers argue with me about where MY train is going.
Pax: hi mate is this train going to Sheffield?
Me: no mate this is a Leeds train.
Pax: no it isn’t it’s going to Sheffield.
Me: I can assure you pal it isn’t.
Pax: I’m telling you it is.
Me: ok mate enjoy your day in Leeds.

Then there is the
Pax: which way is it to platform 8
Me: points left
Pax: walks right
Me: huh

I’ve had that (but usually Leeds), and then when you tell them it’s going to Leeds, for some reason they don’t believe you and go ask someone else for a second opinion on the matter

 

[eoff]

“Which side gets the most sun?”

Thiis is an excellent question to get an answer to.
I nearly always want to sit on the shade side of the train so different sides in morning/evening. Being on the shade side makes for a nicer view, or nicer photographs out of the window and avoids having sun shining on my phone screen. In my case I'll know what side that is when reserving a seat.

 

[izvor]

Not between Ashford and Redhill they don't !

Not quite true: if you leave Redhill sitting in the shade, you will most likely have to change sides within a couple of minutes!

 

[yorksrob]

Not quite true: if you leave Redhill sitting in the shade, you will most likely have to change sides within a couple of minutes!

Ok, I'll concede that one

 

[GRALISTAIR]

A few years ago at this point, a Network Rail leaf-busting train stopped at the station because for a short wait on a red signal. I saw a passenger walk up to the train and ask the platform staff "is this the train to London Victoria?"

Leaf-busters are essentially locomotives with tanks of solution attached. No doors, no inside (apart from the cab) and certainly no way for passing unless one was to physically hold onto the hand rail.

I thought that was pretty funny.

Wow that is a corker of a stupid question!

 

[43096]

Standing on the platform at Reading with a couple of friends and a normal approaches us with "Is this Gatwick?". "No, it's Reading" was the reply. Normal very confused.

Similarly, talking to a member of staff at Paddington and a normal comes up and asks "Where's Cardiff?". Staff member points westward and says "About 140 miles that way."

 

[DesiroOperator]

Whilst stood in Paddington Station wearing an airline’s Uniform that left absolutely no doubt as to which airline I worked for, with a Delsey in hand to complete the stereotype..

Pax: “Where is the train to Royal Oak you delayed!?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

“The Royal Oak train? Which platform? You delayed it already I don’t want to miss it”

“I’ve no idea perhaps check the departure boards. I’ve nothing to do with delaying it”.

“You should know”

“I don’t work here”

“You look like you work here”

“Actually no I don’t if you look again”

“Oh, well you should still know, trains to the airport run into here”

At which point after 8 time zones and very little sleep I thought it best to turn and walk away.


If I could erase any phrase from our vernacular it would be, “There is no such thing as a stupid question”. Whilst it was intended to ensure nobody left a classroom or training space with a lack of understanding or feeling daft for asking a small detail, it now seems to be an excuse to completely forgo any common sense. I’ve worked in several jobs across the aviation and now railway industry and I can confidently say, I too have asked several stupid questions. Train passengers are quite capable of joining me in that accolade without offence being taken. If airline passengers check their brains in with their bags, railway passengers often leave theirs in the ticket hall. Mostly though it’s quite amusing, though I have to say I don’t think I ever found the railway more mysterious when I had nothing by to do with it. I didn’t find train companies actively trying to conceal where trains were or where they were going, and yet…

 

[paulmch]

"Can you tell me where platform 6 is?"

"This is platform 6 sir, which train do you need?"

"Are you sure? I thought this was platform 25!"

(We were stood under a 2-5 car stop board)

 

[GatwickDepress]

In the early 1980s the box I worked in had a GPO line on an extension from the booking office; when the station was closed at nights it was switched through to the box in case we needed it. Around three a.m. one day a woman rang up and wanted times for Glastonbury (this was not festival time) and, when I told her that Glastonbury station had been closed for nearly twenty years, said she had used it recently. She insisted she wanted Glastonbury and would not accept those for any of the surrounding stations. I eventually told her to check where she was going and to try train enquiries.

I did wonder if someone I knew was winding me up, but there wasn’t a hint of giggling, nor did I ever hear anything from anybody.

Perhaps she was... gasp, a ghost? A bit of artistic license here and there and you have a spooky story to tell around a campfire to all the little bobbies!

 

[Lockwood]

After getting off an underground service that terminated other than at the line end...

Person: How do I get to (wherever)
Me: (no reply, listening to music, not aware I was the target of the question)
Person: Hey, how do I get to wherever?
Me: (still no reply)
Person: Excuse me - how do I get to wherever
Other passenger: He doesn't work for the railway.
Me: (realising I am actually involved in this conversation) Sorry?
Person: How do I get to wherever now the train stopped here?
Me: I don't know - I'm heading that general direction myself. Let's go on a journey of discovery together.
Person: (increases distance from me as we walk along the platform)

Heat wave last year, I'm "stood" on the platform - more leaning over in a molten pile of goo - with a suitcase, waiting for a delayed service, in a blatantly non-railway uniform
Person: Dull travel question
Me: How should I know?
Person: Don't you work here?!
Me: ...
Other passengers: mix of amused reactions and comments that they certainly did not ask someone who worked there

Other cases, stood right by the next train sign. Get asked by someone mistaking me for staff or something when the next train to wherever is. I point to the screen that is in their direct line of sight.and read the information to them.



I just seem to have that "I work here" face, I guess.

Non railway one... Trying to get somewhere during a load of snow. Buses were running, then stopped. My car was in the garage for MOT and service. Went to supermarket to try to get a taxi. Stood waiting for that to arrive, and some guy has a go at me for standing around, not doing my job. "I'm waiting for a taxi, so I can go and do my job."
"Look at all this snow. You need to clear it."
"You think that's what my job is?"
"Yes, stop trying to be smart and do your *** job"
"That's not my job" (points to hi vis, and the text on the hi vis)
"Yes it is. You work here. I'm going to make a complaint."

I would have loved to see the conversation with the store manager on that one!

 

[King Lazy]

I guess their ticket to X may have had a route restriction for via Y only?

No, not in the situation I was in. Both stops were on the only possible route from the origin station.

 

[zwk500]

So “Is this train for X?” then “does it stop at Y” when they could simply ask “does this train stop at Y?”

No, not in the situation I was in. Both stops were on the only possible route from the origin station.

This one I could potentially understand if a passenger thinks that X is more likely to be recognised than Y, or that they have been told 'get a train heading to X and get off at Y' by the person they're travelling to meet. Particularly if you are unfamiliar with the line, but are familiar with the idea that lines can have a less standardised stopping pattern.
Also just depends on how people's line of though works - no need to ask about Y if you've established the train doesn't go to X.

 

[6Gman]

But trains go round corners and change direction

For example an EMR service leaving Norwich starts off heading East before heading West within 5 minutes then less than an hour later changes direction altogether.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 17 Aug 2024 ==

Also why would many staff know where the sun would be at any given time?

Yes, but - for example - heading out of Euston on an evening train if you want to squint sit on the left; if you find low sun a nuisance sit on the right.

 

[berwicksfinest]

Not passenger questions per se, but :-

"What do you do for a living"
"I'm a train driver"
With an straight face, "must be easy without steering"
with an equally straight face " not as hard as balancing on them 2 little bit of metal in the ground"
Cue a quizzical expression
walks away smirking

 

[6Gman]

I agree, no matter how stupid a question seems to knowledgeable railway staff passengers should be treated with respect and assisted as far as possible.

And staff can sometimes be a bit, well ...

Liskeard some years ago we had paused to watch the summer Saturday traffic before travelling on to Newquay.

Station staff member walks up to my mother and the following conversation ensues:

Staff: (broad Cornish accent) "Where ye be going sir?" [yes, sir to my mother]
Mother: "Newquay. There's a train just after two."
Staff: "Oh, no, no, no. There's no train now to Newquay till ... ooh, just after two ..."

 

[Neo9320]

I very quickly learned to hide an old purple uniform I used to wear, as whenever I was on a cross country service people would always ask me questions.

When I used to reply ‘I’m sorry, I don’t work on the train’ the main reply was ‘well why are you wearing that uniform then?’

As if XC had a monopoly on purple or something!

 

[Stampy]

I was walking down Platform 4 once at Peterborough Station when I was accosted by a little old lady....

"Young Man", she said, prodding me with her walking stick - "Which is Platform 4"

I stopped, looked left and right, and just pointed to the rather large no 4 sign above my head......

She just tutted and walked off....

 

[Whisky Papa]

...
I just seem to have that "I work here" face, I guess.

Sometimes not even a face is needed. Many years ago I had dashed into the Post Office in Todmorden after finishing a Saturday early turn on the buses there; I suspect I must have been wanting to tax my car. After a few minutes of standing in the queue, a lady of a certain age tapped me on the shoulder and asked if the noon post collection had gone. I looked at my watch, and politely observed as it was ten past twelve, I assumed it would have been.

This proved the trigger for an unexpected tirade about workers these days being ignorant, sarcastic and incompetent, which I cut short by turning round so my driver's badge and Yorkshire Rider tie were visible to her. In fairness, she did have the grace to apologise.

The opposite can also be true, of course - somebody assuming you don't work there when you do. A former scheduler of my acquaintance told a tale of when he had been a young conductor on a school run in the Stockport area in the late 1970s. He had walked up to the cab of the open-platform bus to chat to the driver, and returned once the attending member of school staff had the pupils lined up ready to board. However, as he rounded the rear of the bus and jumped on the platform, the member of school staff grabbed him by the collar and was about to frogmarch him to the back of queue before he rather forcefully "explained the situation" to the teacher, shall we say?

 

[S-Car-Go]

I was walking down Platform 4 once at Peterborough Station when I was accosted by a little old lady....

"Young Man", she said, prodding me with her walking stick - "Which is Platform 4"

I stopped, looked left and right, and just pointed to the rather large no 4 sign above my head......

She just tutted and walked off....

Should have asked to borrow her stick, and use it as a pointing device to the 4 sign

 

[Gloster]

Long ago somebody came up to me on a station while I was wearing an old BR signalman’s jacket and asked me a simple question, which I was able to answer. This was in Eastern France when I was living there and used to walk across to the station while doing my shopping.