Stupid questions from passengers

[Lockwood]

Devil's advocate for that one?

I've been on a service calling at various stations, Guildford, and London Waterloo.

Quite a few announcements along the way - "We will be calling at these stations, Guildford, and London Waterloo. We will NOT be calling at Woking. Any passengers for Woking must change at Guildford. After Guildford, our next station will be London Waterloo. This train does not call at Woking"

Fair enough.

There was disruption of some kind. We were late into Guildford, and I think we sat there for a while.

"We will now be calling at Woking only. Passengers for London Waterloo should stay on this train and change at Woking."

 

[JKF]

My favourite one was when going to Dublin from Holyhead as a foot passenger. The boat was delayed because an American tourist had got on and then asked if it was the train to London. I mean I know American trains are big, and many people over there have probably never seen a passenger train, but you would have thought they might have been able to tell the difference!

in their defence I suspect they had exited the boat by one of the boarding tunnel things which I seem to recall were a bit maze-like, and probably somehow ended up going back the way they came without even being able to see the type of vehicle they were getting on to.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 17 Aug 2024 ==

Devil's advocate for that one?

I've been on a service calling at various stations, Guildford, and London Waterloo.

Quite a few announcements along the way - "We will be calling at these stations, Guildford, and London Waterloo. We will NOT be calling at Woking. Any passengers for Woking must change at Guildford. After Guildford, our next station will be London Waterloo. This train does not call at Woking"

Fair enough.

There was disruption of some kind. We were late into Guildford, and I think we sat there for a while.

"We will now be calling at Woking only. Passengers for London Waterloo should stay on this train and change at Woking."

Announcing where trains will not be calling is always risky for tourists or others who may not have a good command of English and are just listening out for the place name of where they are going, not the words around it.

Similarly, I’m in Portugal at the moment and the automated platform announcements here always are of the form ‘shortly arriving is the train from xxxx continuing to yyyy’ with quite a few other words thrown into the sentence. Without a particularly good understanding of the language you could easily think that the origin was where the train was heading, for most people perhaps where it is coming from is not information they need. You might not even recognise the name of the destination as a place, just an unknown irrelevant word. Though I’m pretty sure UK announcements were (and maybe still are) like this (From - to -)

 

[WAB]

I just seem to have that "I work here" face, I guess.

Yes, even before I started on the railway, members of the public would march straight past uniformed staff to ask me various questions.

My first railway job was entirely back-office, but that only seemed to boost my railway aura.

Now my role is semi-public-facing and on top of that, I am under instructions to assist traincrew and station staff whenever needed so will likely end up in a position where the public are asking me questions. Or knowing the public, they'll all start ignoring me instead

 

[BeijingDave]

"Can you tell me where platform 6 is?"

"This is platform 6 sir, which train do you need?"

"Are you sure? I thought this was platform 25!"

(We were stood under a 2-5 car stop board)

That one is understandable and has thrown my Chinese wife who thought a car stop board was a platform number sign.

 

[adc82140]

My work uniform (not transport, blue short sleeved shirt, sweatshirt on top in the winter, both with company logos clearly on them) has frequently caused issues.

An old lady got huffy because I didn't know all the bus times (I don't think my uniform looks anything like that of Plymouth Citybus)

I've been asked more times than I care to count for train info in the First Great Western era. Most were slightly embarrassed when I pointed out I worked in Healthcare, not on the railway, but some were rather rude.

I can't go in to Tesco in my uniform, it's not worth the hassle.

 

[Mat17]

The best one I've heard was another passenger ask the conductor, "How does the driver balance the train on the tracks? I mean that's some steering skills to keep it on the rails. I'm not sure I could do it."

I'm not sure how the guard kept a straight face.

 

[Socanxdis]

Them: Where is this train going?
Me: Where do you want to go?

 

[7Sonofa7Son]

Them: Where is this train going?
Me: Where do you want to go?

This one is a gem because if you say the name of the destination, it's sod's law they'll getting annoyed and say something about only wanting the one stop

 

[Islineclear3_1]

I've worked in the railways for many years, and have generally found staff have many anecdotes about the daft questions that the general public have asked. Occasionally a little facetious reply will sneak out Has anyone else had these moments?

This shows what disdain and attitude some railway staff have towards its fare-paying passengers. And then to come on a public forum and laugh about it. Passengers don't ask stupid questions; they need information and often, the railway are not forthcoming about it; they often provide confusing information and penalise passengers for making honest mistakes with wrong tickets/boarding wrong trains etc.

Glad you find this funny :

 

[dangie]

Of course those who are having a chuckle at rail passengers asking what they deem as a stupid question, are conveniently ignoring the fact that sometime(s) in the past they have also asked what to others would be a stupid question. We all have

 

[Lost property]

This shows what disdain and attitude some railway staff have towards its fare-paying passengers. And then to come on a public forum and laugh about it. Passengers don't ask stupid questions; they need information and often, the railway are not forthcoming about it; they often provide confusing information and penalise passengers for making honest mistakes with wrong tickets/boarding wrong trains etc.

Glad you find this funny :

That's very true, and, aligned to the "there's no such thing as a stupid question "... as I used to tell my trainees, the most stupid question you can ask is the one that remains unasked. A daft question is different, and, the general public, which includes everybody, can, and have, done so in our lives.

When, having asked politely, I have encountered "witty / disdainful" replies, I am perfectly capable of reciprocating without swearing...which I feel is justified given the circumstances. They usually shut up at this point.

It would be interesting to learn the age groups / demographic those on here taking pleasure deriding encountered....for context.

That, and major stations / rail travel can be confusing for infrequent travellers, although New Street, manages to confuse all travellers effortlessly.

 

[Spartacus]

This shows what disdain and attitude some railway staff have towards its fare-paying passengers. And then to come on a public forum and laugh about it. Passengers don't ask stupid questions; they need information and often, the railway are not forthcoming about it; they often provide confusing information and penalise passengers for making honest mistakes with wrong tickets/boarding wrong trains etc.

Glad you find this funny :

YES THEY DO! I'm all for professionalism but if they're asking which way a train's gong to go when the alternative is to plough through the buffers, platform, station and town, THAT'S A STUPID QUESTION, and frankly deserves a light hearted answer like 'well it's not going to go through Greggs is it?'

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 18 Aug 2024 ==

If I could erase any phrase from our vernacular it would be, “There is no such thing as a stupid question”. Whilst it was intended to ensure nobody left a classroom or training space with a lack of understanding or feeling daft for asking a small detail, it now seems to be an excuse to completely forgo any common sense.

This, this and always this!

 

[bramling]

I've worked in the railways for many years, and have generally found staff have many anecdotes about the daft questions that the general public have asked. Occasionally a little facetious reply will sneak out Has anyone else had these moments?

Some of the ones that stand out:
Pax: "Does this train go to the Midlands?"
Me: "80% of all trains from this station stop somewhere in the Midlands. WHERE in the Midlands?"

Pax: "How long is the train?"
Me: "About 200 metres Madam."
Pax: "No. I mean, how long is the journey?"
Me: "To where?"

Pax: "Will this train leave on time?"
Me: "I could lie and say yes. But I have no idea. I'm not working it, and I can't predict the future."

Pax: "Is this the London train?"
Me: "Yes.... are you wanting London then?"
Pax: "No. Watford."
Me: "Umm we don't stop there."

Pax: "Where is the way out?
Me: "Go up the stairs, turn right to exit the station."
Pax: "OK...umm... but is that the way out?"

Pax: "How do I get to the platform?"
Me: "Through the door, walk straight ahead."
Pax: "How do I do that?"
Me: "Umm.. put 1 foot in front of another, and repeat?"

Some years ago I was taking some photos at a station in the north-west, think it was on the CLC Manchester to Liverpool line. Clearly visible and just beyond the platforms there was track renewal going on, one of the tracks was dug up and missing entirely, the other had a swarm of people working. There were posters up regarding the engineering work.

Yet a crowd of people started forming on the platform. Departure time for a service came and went. People start anxiously glancing at their watches.

Then someone comes up and asks “do you know why the Manchester train hasn’t turned up?”

 

[Devils Advocat]

Pax: Can I have a return please

Booking Office Clerk: Where to sir ?

Pax: Here of course !

 

[riceuten]

When I worked in rural Cambs, we had a massive American camp near to where I worked (Huntingdon). Most of the time, you never saw them, there would be the occasional Humvee at the station, and someone in full uniform in the town centre, but I was travelling home one evening, and there were a gaggle of Americans at the ticket office asking
amongst other things "Is there a bar car on this train" and then when they got on the train, they were alarmed there were no seatbelts.

 

[Bluejays]

This shows what disdain and attitude some railway staff have towards its fare-paying passengers. And then to come on a public forum and laugh about it. Passengers don't ask stupid questions; they need information and often, the railway are not forthcoming about it; they often provide confusing information and penalise passengers for making honest mistakes with wrong tickets/boarding wrong trains etc.

Glad you find this funny :

Of course some passengers ask stupid questions. As I'm sure do all groups of people. To suggest that no stupid questions are asked is quite frankly ridiculous!

 

[Topological]

Of course those who are having a chuckle at rail passengers asking what they deem as a stupid question, are conveniently ignoring the fact that sometime(s) in the past they have also asked what to others would be a stupid question. We all have

No one is being identified by any of these examples. I would also assume that anyone posting an example is not saying they did not ask a stupid question in the past as well.

I would have issues if we were identifying individuals, and I do find some of the suggestions of what constitutes a "stupid question", to be "stupid" in their own right. After all, the phrasing of a question is a linguistic thing and should not be treated with such disdain (no matter how many times the same question gets asked). We cannot expect people to know the precise geography of the railways, no matter how "obvious" it may be.

However, some of the posts are genuinely funny and I am glad that people are posting them.

There are plenty of genuinely stupid questions in my job, but equally we get a lot of genuine questions that we treat fairly.

(In the spirit of non-identification, I tried to keep the examples vague)

 

[Bluejays]

My favourite recent one: Why is pret closed again? To which I replied ' the notice on the door mentioned something about staffing '
This led to this absolute imbecile launching into a rant about it being the third time this week and I should be ashamed of myself (me standing there in my rail uniform.).

Evidently working on trains means that you are responsible for staffing of concourse outlets.

 

[D6130]

I once overheard a lady on her phone tell her friend I am in the back coach. Really, I was in the front coach at the time.
That said when the train had arrived in a terminal platform this had indeed been the back coach but did the lady really expect the train to continue through the buffer stops?

Was that at Fort William by any chance?

 

[Eyersey468]

I've worked in the railways for many years, and have generally found staff have many anecdotes about the daft questions that the general public have asked. Occasionally a little facetious reply will sneak out Has anyone else had these moments?

Some of the ones that stand out:
Pax: "Does this train go to the Midlands?"
Me: "80% of all trains from this station stop somewhere in the Midlands. WHERE in the Midlands?"

Pax: "How long is the train?"
Me: "About 200 metres Madam."
Pax: "No. I mean, how long is the journey?"
Me: "To where?"

Pax: "Will this train leave on time?"
Me: "I could lie and say yes. But I have no idea. I'm not working it, and I can't predict the future."

Pax: "Is this the London train?"
Me: "Yes.... are you wanting London then?"
Pax: "No. Watford."
Me: "Umm we don't stop there."

Pax: "Where is the way out?
Me: "Go up the stairs, turn right to exit the station."
Pax: "OK...umm... but is that the way out?"

Pax: "How do I get to the platform?"
Me: "Through the door, walk straight ahead."
Pax: "How do I do that?"
Me: "Umm.. put 1 foot in front of another, and repeat?"

We get similar on the coaches

 

[D6130]

Passenger: 'How long will the next train be?'

Porter: 'Six carriages, Madam!'

 

[CornishDave]

Some that I've heard from staff...

At Newquay:
Which platform does the London train depart from? (There's only one)

At Liskeard:
Does the Penzance train go to Plymouth?

At Bodmin Parkway:
Pax: When does the coach for the 1518 to London turn up? I've been waiting at the bus stop for ages but nothings turned up.
Staff: There are no buses for that, it was a train
Pax: But the screen said it was formed of 8 coaches?

Again at Bodmin Parkway:
American Pax: How do I get over to the other side?
Staff *looks upwards and points to the footbridge*: Use this.

On a Okehampton - Exeter Central train that had just stopped at Newton St Cyres. Woman stands up and asks, 'Is this Exeter St Davids?'

 

[PeterC]

My favourite recent one: Why is pret closed again? To which I replied ' the notice on the door mentioned something about staffing '
This led to this absolute imbecile launching into a rant about it being the third time this week and I should be ashamed of myself (me standing there in my rail uniform.).

Evidently working on trains means that you are responsible for staffing of concourse outlets.

At a motorway service area everything is normally run by a single operator despite the franchise brands. Why wouldn't a member of the public expect a station to be the same?

 

[Bluejays]

At a motorway service area everything is normally run by a single operator despite the franchise brands. Why wouldn't a member of the public expect a station to be the same?

If I went to a motorway service station and burger king wasn't open I wouldn't respond by laying into someone driving for Megabus or working in the wh smith next door. In fact I wouldn't lay into anyone at all, because I'm not a complete waste of space like the person I described. A quite strange example you've given there in my opinion.

 

[Eyersey468]

I have to gently point out that it is possible to be born in rural wales and have never seen a train, is my grandson asking a stupid question when he says. “What is a railway”

I would say no, if he has never seen a train or a railway then he won't know what one looks like

 

[ExRes]

At a motorway service area everything is normally run by a single operator despite the franchise brands.

How many people would actually know that? If I buy something in Waitrose, Burger King, Smiths etc etc I'm buying from them as far as I'm concerned not an 'operator'

 

[Gloster]

At a motorway service area everything is normally run by a single operator despite the franchise brands.

How widely is that known? I didn’t know that, although admittedly we are a bit short of motorways on the Isle of Wight and I don’t drive, but I consider myself reasonably well informed.

 

[Acey]

Some time in the early nineties I let a passenger stand in the cab with me on an overcrowded SE EPB unit,just chatting about this and that, he suddely said ,pointing at the handbrake " I know that's not a steering wheel,but what's it for ? ) it's a handbrake I said,a moments silence and then he said "well how do you do a hillstart with that ? " I started to laugh then realised he was deadly serious !
Incidentally ,when you have spent 40 years of putting up with abuse,sarcasm and general disdain from pssengers then yes ,you are inclined to giggle at their moments of idiocy and regard some as stupid !

 

[Trainman40083]

Years ago, I caught a train from Derby to Crewe. It came in from Nottingham and spilt into two portions , one for Cardiff and the other for Crewe.. Multiple announcements on the platform. Several on a train. This youth turned to me and asked "Is this the Cardiff train? " No, it is the Crewe train" "Are they far apart?". Well, I'd not want to walk it, but there is a train service between the two". "So I can stay on this train for Cardiff then?" No, catch the one in front that has just left ..... But a friend used to answer calls from unmanned stations. Hello, when is the next train? Where are you? On the platform. But which one? (Passenger struggled with that) Where exactly are you? On the platform. At which station? Don't you know? No, I can't see you...xxx station. So which way are you going and to where? It all got too much for my friend, so he told the passenger to wait where he was... But maybe one of the best was a Crewe to Derby train before the likes of Class 150s. It was dark and the train stopped outside Alsager station. A guy got up, opened the door and fell out. He climbed back in and said "Bet you think I am a right ****". He then opened the door on the other side and fell out..."Er, you might not have noticed, but we aren't in the station yet"...Still, in later life I got to manage the contract for parts for central door locking. I had first hand experience of why it was important. But even then, on a HST ,train stopped, guy drops the window, leans out, door won't open. "Can't get the door to open" "Wait for it to be unlocked then". Click and we were away

 

[LowLevel]

This shows what disdain and attitude some railway staff have towards its fare-paying passengers. And then to come on a public forum and laugh about it. Passengers don't ask stupid questions; they need information and often, the railway are not forthcoming about it; they often provide confusing information and penalise passengers for making honest mistakes with wrong tickets/boarding wrong trains etc.

Glad you find this funny :

It shows no contempt at all. It is healthy to have a chat about it away from the front line to let off steam, thus allowing you to meet and greet people in a polite fashion, daft questions or not.

Some of the questions *are* stupid. They can still be answered politely, and a giggle had later.

As soon as I saw this thread I knew there would be some self righteous fury and I'm not disappointed