Once upon a time, there was beautiful princess who was a fragile diabetic blind wheelchair user with asthma and a heart condition.
She decided one day to take a train journey to meet her prince charming, but an evil ogre of a Train Guard accosted her. "You do not have a disabled rail card, you are on the wrong train with your advanced ticket, and also I have pulled the pascom while I wait for Network Rail to come and remove a leaf from the track that we cannot drive over because the train might derail if we do" he told her. "While we are sitting here I am going to issue you a penalty fare, and a UPFN, and do an MG11, and I might even do a TIR, whilst preparing to have you put off the train at Guide Bridge, despite the ramp not fitting that platform, because to do otherwise is against 'Elf and Safety." he continued, with an evil laugh!
However, a brave Prince Charming was listening, and donning his magic Hi-Vis vest which rendered him invincible, took out his iPhone, and switching the video on, instantly uploaded it to YouTube, where it was seen by a brave Daily Mail journalist and attracted 500 comments and 4000000 views in five minutes. As soon as he saw the camera, the evil Guard vanished in a puff of smoke (or into his back cab for a smoke), and brave Prince Charming opened the emergency egress, pushing the beautiful princess up the 4foot as if they had stayed on the train he would have collapsed with dehydration and claustrophobia, and also had a panic attack.
And Prince Charming and the princess lived happily ever after.
The End