Funny rail notices

[cambsy]

I have just seen in Rail 847, stop and examine, a notice on a West Midlands Railway train, saying that smoking, Vaping or Bog snorkelling is not allowed on platforms or trains. Has anyone got any other silly notices they have come across on travels or working on trains?

 

[Steddenm]

Virgin WC had a few. You can’t teleport on stations for example.

 

[hexagon789]

I have just seen in Rail 847, stop and examine, a notice on a West Midlands Railway train, saying that smoking, Vaping or Bog snorkelling is not allowed on platforms or trains. Has anyone got any other silly notices they have come across on travels or working on trains?

Virgin's Pendolinos had something about not flushing hopes and dreams down the toilets.

 

[Jimini]

Virgin's Pendolinos had something about not flushing hopes and dreams down the toilets.

Yep, I've seen them regularly on VTWC units. Oddly, though, I saw the exact same type of sticker the other day on a Greater Anglia train toilet (on the West Anglia route). Not sure how that ended up there!

 

[hexagon789]

Yep, I've seen them regularly on VTWC units. Oddly, though, I saw the exact same type of sticker the other day on a Greater Anglia train toilet (on the West Anglia route). Not sure how that ended up there!

That's an interesting one, was it an actual Virgin sticker or just the same words?

 

[Jimini]

That's an interesting one, was it an actual Virgin sticker or just the same words?

Thought I took a snap of it at the time -- see below. I'm not that hot on train types, but think this is a class 317 train maybe? Would have been a Broxbourne > Stratford service.

 

[randyrippley]

nothing to do with railways, but there are still a number of river bridges in Dorset with plaques which warn vandals of transportation for life

 

[alxndr]

Yep, I've seen them regularly on VTWC units. Oddly, though, I saw the exact same type of sticker the other day on a Greater Anglia train toilet (on the West Anglia route). Not sure how that ended up there!

I've seen them on EMT as well.

 

[A Challenge]

I've seen them on EMT as well.

I've also seen them on SWT (though not on SWR, doesn't mean they aren't there though)

 

[Raul_Duke]

I’m surprised they don’t have forum members calling for whoever wrote them to be dragged into the street and shot like a dog, in case someone who doesn't understand that things can sometimes mean different things doesn’t get the joke.

 

[STEVIEBOY1]

Virgin's Pendolinos had something about not flushing hopes and dreams down the toilets.

They had that as an announcement when you went to the loo too, I was travelling with VTWC a few days ago, it has changed and now says, "this is your toilet speaking" and goes on for a bit about what your should and should not flush down, puts one right off what you went in there to do!

 

[Spartacus]

Virgin's Pendolinos had something about not flushing hopes and dreams down the toilets.

That just happens every time a board one and the whole train smells like a toilet.

 

[Steddenm]

One of their loos on a set that’s being used for advertising has the sinister “I can see what you’re doing” followed by a long pause and then “Oh now that’s just wrong!” Not what you want to hear when you’re on the loo (was an 11-car panda from GLC to PRE).

 

[swaldman]

They had that as an announcement when you went to the loo too, I was travelling with VTWC a few days ago, it has changed and now says, "this is your toilet speaking" and goes on for a bit about what your should and should not flush down, puts one right off what you went in there to do!

Yeah, that announcement is audible to people in seats near the toilet and is Really Quite Annoying when repeated every few minutes for hours. It did make me smile the first time though

 

[hexagon789]

Yeah, that announcement is audible to people in seats near the toilet and is Really Quite Annoying when repeated every few minutes for hours. It did make me smile the first time though

Virgin are a bit of a pain for over-the-top announcements.

 

[al78]

They had that as an announcement when you went to the loo too, I was travelling with VTWC a few days ago, it has changed and now says, "this is your toilet speaking" and goes on for a bit about what your should and should not flush down, puts one right off what you went in there to do!

Ah good, it is not just me then. It sounds like a woman is talking to me over my shoulder whilst I am about to empty my bladder, cue bladder shyness. Do we really need all that attempt-to-be-funny-but-failed vocal waffle when using the toilet?

 

[hexagon789]

Ah good, it is not just me then. It sounds like a woman is talking to me over my shoulder whilst I am about to empty my bladder, cue bladder shyness. Do we really need all that attempt-to-be-funny-but-failed vocal waffle when using the toilet?

Thank God ScotRail don't have these announcements yet!

 

[Parallel]

I too have seen the sticker somewhere recently that wasn’t Virgin Trains. I can’t remember where it was though, but it was another operator not yet mentioned.

 

[Bertiethebobby]

Virgin are a bit of a pain for over-the-top announcements.

Bit of a pain is putting it mildly.

I find them intensely irritating!
I always seem to be sitting right under a speaker and they are really loud and have the annoying banter between the man and woman.

"We are now approaching Coventry" "Please remember to take all your belongings with you and take care stepping from the train to the platform"
"This is Coventry" "Please remember to take all your belongings with you and take care stepping from the train to the platform"
"This train is for London Euston" "We will be calling at Milton Keynes and Watford Junction"
"Welcome on board this Virgin Train service to London Euston" "We will be calling at Milton Keynes and Watford Junction"

4 freaking announcements per station! It's totally over the top and very annoying!!

 

[Dougal2345]

One of their loos on a set that’s being used for advertising has the sinister “I can see what you’re doing” followed by a long pause and then “Oh now that’s just wrong!” Not what you want to hear when you’re on the loo (was an 11-car panda from GLC to PRE).

I don't think there should be any toilet announcements, with the possible exception of "I'm not unlocking the door until you've washed your hands, you filthy piece of scum".

 

[hexagon789]

Bit of a pain is putting it mildly.

I find them intensely irritating!
I always seem to be sitting right under a speaker and they are really loud and have the annoying banter between the man and woman.

"We are now approaching Coventry" "Please remember to take all your belongings with you and take care stepping from the train to the platform"
"This is Coventry" "Please remember to take all your belongings with you and take care stepping from the train to the platform"
"This train is for London Euston" "We will be calling at Milton Keynes and Watford Junction"
"Welcome on board this Virgin Train service to London Euston" "We will be calling at Milton Keynes and Watford Junction"

4 freaking announcements per station! It's totally over the top and very annoying!!

4 is very excessive. To be honest even 2 can be a bit much at times - auto announcements plus guard repeating it all over again.

 

[STEVIEBOY1]

I don't think there should be any toilet announcements, with the possible exception of "I'm not unlocking the door until you've washed your hands, you filthy piece of scum".

Ha Ha, like it and very true for a lot of people too.

 

[STEVIEBOY1]

nothing to do with railways, but there are still a number of river bridges in Dorset with plaques which warn vandals of transportation for life

That's interesting.

 

[LAX54]

Bit of a pain is putting it mildly.

I find them intensely irritating!
I always seem to be sitting right under a speaker and they are really loud and have the annoying banter between the man and woman.

"We are now approaching Coventry" "Please remember to take all your belongings with you and take care stepping from the train to the platform"
"This is Coventry" "Please remember to take all your belongings with you and take care stepping from the train to the platform"
"This train is for London Euston" "We will be calling at Milton Keynes and Watford Junction"
"Welcome on board this Virgin Train service to London Euston" "We will be calling at Milton Keynes and Watford Junction"

4 freaking announcements per station! It's totally over the top and very annoying!!

And STILL people get over-carried, saying I did not know we were at or did not stop at xxxx etc !!

 

[LLivery]

My favourite was the sign with something along the lines of "...it's better to miss your train than break your leg" over the stairs at Ilford. As soon as TfL took it over they covered it up with a pointless vinyl saying "Ilford". I think it was First Great Eastern who installed it.

 

[randyrippley]

That's interesting.

couple of examples
http://yertiz.co.uk/dont-damage-dorset-bridge-consequences/

 

[cf111]

They had that as an announcement when you went to the loo too, I was travelling with VTWC a few days ago, it has changed and now says, "this is your toilet speaking" and goes on for a bit about what your should and should not flush down, puts one right off what you went in there to do!

I honestly thought I had lost my mind the first time a Pendolino toilet started talking to me. Most disconcerting!

 

[Bletchleyite]

My favourite was the sign with something along the lines of "...it's better to miss your train than break your leg" over the stairs at Ilford. As soon as TfL took it over they covered it up with a pointless vinyl saying "Ilford". I think it was First Great Eastern who installed it.

First, at least under the previous CEO, were quite obsessive about safety. Temple Meads is covered in safety notices.

 

[Parallel]

Bit of a pain is putting it mildly.

I find them intensely irritating!
I always seem to be sitting right under a speaker and they are really loud and have the annoying banter between the man and woman.

"We are now approaching Coventry" "Please remember to take all your belongings with you and take care stepping from the train to the platform"
"This is Coventry" "Please remember to take all your belongings with you and take care stepping from the train to the platform"
"This train is for London Euston" "We will be calling at Milton Keynes and Watford Junction"
"Welcome on board this Virgin Train service to London Euston" "We will be calling at Milton Keynes and Watford Junction"

4 freaking announcements per station! It's totally over the top and very annoying!!

Sounds like the GWR system
“We are now approaching Bristol Temple Meads. For a bus service to Bristol International Airport, please change here. Please remember to collect all your personal belongings with you when you leave the train. Please mind the gap between the train and platform and take care when stepping down from the train to the platform”
“This is Bristol Temple Meads. Do not try to board or leave the train when the doors are closing. This is a Great Western Railway service to Worcester Foregate Street”
“The next station is Filton Abbey Wood. This is a Great Western Railway service to Worcester Foregate Street”

The doors announcement is the most annoying and it is played at EVERY station, and I’d argue it doesn’t have any benefit as you aren’t going to hear it from outside the train, and it doesn’t seem to have changed any passenger behaviour from my obvervations.

 

[AlterEgo]

I too have seen the sticker somewhere recently that wasn’t Virgin Trains. I can’t remember where it was though, but it was another operator not yet mentioned.

EMT have them.