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Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

DM352

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9 Oct 2019
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290
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White north
Fake videos (at least 10 mins long to maximise the click) that claim to show how to install latest Android to a non supported Redmi phone that still works. Spolier it does not work.
 
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RailUK Forums

gg1

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2 Jun 2011
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2,500
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Birmingham
Highways England not updating the motorway matrix signs to advise a junction is closed. It happened to me twice in successive days this week, M42 junction 2 on Wednesday evening, M5 junction 3 yesterday, in both cases the signs were working as they displayed alternate messages.
 

nilvaj395

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11 Oct 2025
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217
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‎
It's worse when someone is on Facetime or video chat on public transport and they're shouting very loudly to the other person.
This drives me mad

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Fake videos (at least 10 mins long to maximise the click) that claim to show how to install latest Android to a non supported Redmi phone that still works. Spolier it does not work.
Add to this, videos about literally anything on youtube being done entirely by AI.
 

dgl

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Joined
5 Oct 2014
Messages
3,070
Talking about YouTube, automatically dubbed videos. Seen some Jean-Michel Jarre interview shorts from a French or Belgian broadcaster where they've been dubbed but still have French subtitles, feels really weird.
Though in some ways not as weird as some Scandinavian interviews of people who don't speak any of the languages and it all just being in English with appropriate subtitles. On the Scandinavian talk show Skavlan one british celebrity (possibly John Cleese) remarked that going on his show was a good way to learn Swedish, before it being pointed out that the host, Frederik Skavlan, was Norwegiean and one of the other guests was Danish!
 

DM352

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Joined
9 Oct 2019
Messages
290
Location
White north
I've noticed McDonald's staff try and take your receipt away after you show them your takeaway order. It just annoys me to no end.

Another thing: British people calling takeaway "takeout". My cousin is very guilty of this.
I live in Canada now and is takeout or pickup here but when I speak to my parents in the UK they say they had a takeout and I say do you mean takeaway? For some reason it does not go down well and similar happens when they say they will get a cab and I say taxi.

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Anything that is not acutally Artificial Intelligence being called Artificial Intelligence - Statistical models are never artificial intelligence.
I sometimes evaluate vendor products and have seen AI listed in the glossy marketing PDF but in reality it is a glorified search database function! I think AI can be called a spectrum!
 

frankmoh

On Moderation
Joined
7 May 2025
Messages
826
Location
London
Another annoyance, this time railway-related.

When TOCs call it a "line" when it's actually 2 or 3 lines that branch off. The Weaver Line and Merseyrail's Northern Line spring to mind.

The fix is so simple, just call it "lineS"!!!
 

OhNoAPacer

Member
Joined
11 Mar 2013
Messages
726
Location
Egremont Cumbria / Northampton
Discrete food items being packaged by weight.

An example. We often cook a meal that uses chicken thigh fillets. We have 2 each. The fillets are sold in the supermarkets in small and large boxes of fillets.
Annoyingly there very often an odd number of fillets in the boxes, meaning we end up with an odd number in the freezer.

Why in earth can't they sell them as packs of 4 or 8 etc and charge more or less fir the pack depending on it's actual weight. They do after all do this for other meats, e,g a joint of sirloin is so much per kilo and the actual price charged is dependent upon the actual weight of the joint.
 

Statto

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8 Feb 2011
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4,107
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At home or at the pub
Discrete food items being packaged by weight.

An example. We often cook a meal that uses chicken thigh fillets. We have 2 each. The fillets are sold in the supermarkets in small and large boxes of fillets.
Annoyingly there very often an odd number of fillets in the boxes, meaning we end up with an odd number in the freezer.

Why in earth can't they sell them as packs of 4 or 8 etc and charge more or less fir the pack depending on it's actual weight. They do after all do this for other meats, e,g a joint of sirloin is so much per kilo and the actual price charged is dependent upon the actual weight of the joint.
They have to package by weight, as food (particularly meat) is priced by weight from the suppliers, think it's law too they have to price by weight.
 

Peter Mugridge

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8 Apr 2010
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17,855
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Oakham
They have to package by weight, as food (particularly meat) is priced by weight from the suppliers, think it's law too they have to price by weight.
They can price by weight and then price each pack individually by what it actually weighs... a lot of the meat I buy is priced like that ( e.g. neck of lamb )
 

OhNoAPacer

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Joined
11 Mar 2013
Messages
726
Location
Egremont Cumbria / Northampton
They can price by weight and then price each pack individually by what it actually weighs... a lot of the meat I buy is priced like that ( e.g. neck of lamb )
Yes which is what happens with joints of beef, legs of lamb etc.

My issue is that I wish they would put a given number of chicken thigh fillets in the pack but then weigh and price accordingly, instead of doing what they seem to do which is to put in a number of fillets that comes to the target pack weight.
I really want to be able to buy a pack of 4 fillets or 8 fillets rather than some randomish number.
 

Farigiraf

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23 Jul 2023
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1,222
Location
Bridge on the River Cam
Another annoyance, this time railway-related.

When TOCs call it a "line" when it's actually 2 or 3 lines that branch off. The Weaver Line and Merseyrail's Northern Line spring to mind.

The fix is so simple, just call it "lineS"!!!
Similarly, when reopened lines are called a 'rail link' or '(something) Railway' when '(something) Line' would've worked perfectly fine. Think it's just for PR purposes, to make it sound grander.
See: Borders Railway, Ebbw Valley Railway, Levenmouth Rail Link.
 

D6130

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12 Jan 2021
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9,137
Location
West Yorkshire/Tuscany
Similarly, when reopened lines are called a 'rail link' or '(something) Railway' when '(something) Line' would've worked perfectly fine. Think it's just for PR purposes, to make it sound grander.
See: Borders Railway, Ebbw Valley Railway, Levenmouth Rail Link.
Northumberland Line?
 

Mcr Warrior

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Joined
8 Jan 2009
Messages
17,307
The BBC messing around with TV schedules when it is not even Christmas week! Pointless should be on at 1715, no other time is acceptable.
This week's "Pointless Celebrities" are all repeats, though, aren't they? But what on earth is "The Festive Finish Line" in its place?
 

dgl

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5 Oct 2014
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3,070
Celebrities now seem to be a case of "could anyone other than your family recognise you?", if the answer is yes then you are a celebrity!
 

Ashley Hill

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8 Dec 2019
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5,683
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The West Country
Celebrities now seem to be a case of "could anyone other than your family recognise you?", if the answer is yes then you are a celebrity!
I only watch the “celebrity “ shows when there is someone I know participating.
I think there are a whole raft of celebrities who make a living out of being celebrities in quiz show because you don’t see them anywhere else in TV.
 

jon81uk

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Joined
17 Aug 2022
Messages
1,115
Location
Harlow, Essex
I've noticed McDonald's staff try and take your receipt away after you show them your takeaway order. It just annoys me to no end.
Just pocket the receipt as soon as you get it, then when they call out your order number, you just say thank you and take the tray/bag. Annoys me more when the machine is out of paper and you can't get a receipt!
 

Gloster

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4 Sep 2020
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Up the creek
Those news flashes that come up your screen while you doing something on the iPad. All too often they happened days ago and the news is out of date. Today I got a flash that at least three had been killed in a shooting at Bondi Beach: that was four days ago and the death toll was higher. I am also asked to consider whether Bonnie Blue is going to be sent to prison: didn’t they say a few days ago that she is just going to be deported.

I do sometimes wonder if some are being inserted to cause trouble. I am still getting an article asking whether Andy Burnham is going to challenge Starmer, long after the story went off the boil.

There are also local websites that try to make you think they are straining every sinew to bring you some vital news. A recent item was about two cars colliding, nobody hurt, one car being pushed off the road by passers-by and the other driven clear. But for most of the day, long after it was cleared up, it had the headline Breaking News and an assurance that they were doing all they could to bring us more on the story.
 

jon81uk

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17 Aug 2022
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1,115
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Harlow, Essex
Those news flashes that come up your screen while you doing something on the iPad. All too often they happened days ago and the news is out of date. Today I got a flash that at least three had been killed in a shooting at Bondi Beach: that was four days ago and the death toll was higher. I am also asked to consider whether Bonnie Blue is going to be sent to prison: didn’t they say a few days ago that she is just going to be deported.
Just turn off notifications for news apps.
 

styles

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7 Dec 2014
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Location
Gwynedd
Just pocket the receipt as soon as you get it, then when they call out your order number, you just say thank you and take the tray/bag. Annoys me more when the machine is out of paper and you can't get a receipt!
Also in McDonald's on those self-service machines, they haven't finished all of the translations. If you put it in Welsh for example, on the receipt page about the printer failing it will have some placeholders instead of actual text, like __PRINTER_FAILED_TO_PRINT__.

If you're going to offer a translated service, at least translate the whole thing. It can't be that hard to QA these things :D
 

Bald Rick

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28 Sep 2010
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35,965
Just pocket the receipt as soon as you get it, then when they call out your order number, you just say thank you and take the tray/bag. Annoys me more when the machine is out of paper and you can't get a receipt!

Receipt? Have t had one of those in Mcs for years!
 

EYFanatic

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Joined
29 Sep 2025
Messages
669
Location
Hell's Dungeon
Talking about YouTube, automatically dubbed videos. Seen some Jean-Michel Jarre interview shorts from a French or Belgian broadcaster where they've been dubbed but still have French subtitles, feels really weird.
Though in some ways not as weird as some Scandinavian interviews of people who don't speak any of the languages and it all just being in English with appropriate subtitles. On the Scandinavian talk show Skavlan one british celebrity (possibly John Cleese) remarked that going on his show was a good way to learn Swedish, before it being pointed out that the host, Frederik Skavlan, was Norwegiean and one of the other guests was Danish!
I'd agree with you in most cases... However, I recently watched a rather nice documentary on a railway line in Japan that survived by selling rice crackers and seaweed cakes and so on - no subtitles available but there was an English auto dub so I could follow along quite happily

As for things I would ban,:

Lancashire, train guards and managers who say a train is calling at a terminal station, people who turn trains into 75mph discos, burgers that fall apart as soon as you look at them, stereotypes, Manchester City...
 

Merle Haggard

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Joined
20 Oct 2019
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3,991
Location
Northampton
As for things I would ban,:

Lancashire, train guards and managers who say a train is calling at a terminal station, people who turn trains into 75mph discos, burgers that fall apart as soon as you look at them, stereotypes, Manchester City...
Well it was a bit hidden but I got it :)
 

Mr. SW

Member
Joined
13 Sep 2023
Messages
552
Location
Armchair
Just turn off notifications for news apps.
What? You'd miss out on some comedic gems like these from my news feed....

Screenshot_20231221_142307_Google.jpg
(Screen grab of Millie Gibson)
...and what about some of the other native South American peoples?
Screenshot_20240219_141445_Chrome~2.jpg
(Cougar attacks)
There are easier ways for older women to bag a husband.
Screenshot_20240514_101256_Google.jpg
(Screen grab of Non-Stop Bus Route)
Err - not a bus.
 

GatwickDepress

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14 Jan 2013
Messages
2,588
Location
Leeds
At the moment in supermarkets, it's people dumping frozen items on the shelves. Had to waste so much today because people see the chilled party food section and think "oh, I don't need these frozen halloumi fries any more. I'll just shove it here on a nice warm shelf instead of walking the ten seconds to put it back in a freezer!'
 

GusB

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Joined
9 Jul 2016
Messages
8,182
Location
Elginshire
At the moment in supermarkets, it's people dumping frozen items on the shelves. Had to waste so much today because people see the chilled party food section and think "oh, I don't need these frozen halloumi fries any more. I'll just shove it here on a nice warm shelf instead of walking the ten seconds to put it back in a freezer!'
Let it go; the average supermarket punter doesn't care and/or they're not intelligent enough to understand.
 

jon81uk

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Joined
17 Aug 2022
Messages
1,115
Location
Harlow, Essex
Let it go; the average supermarket punter doesn't care and/or they're not intelligent enough to understand.
It think it is more don't care than lack of intelligence, they will know to put them in the freezer when they get home, but they don't care about wasting someone else's property.
 

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