Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Cross City]

I would like to ban it from raining when England are playing

Always does in Manchester, because it's the grimmest place imaginable.

 

[duncanp]

Always does in Manchester, because it's the grimmest place imaginable.

I don't mind it raining when England are in a losing position at a test match, it is when they are winning and a rain delay affects the result.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Always does in Manchester, because it's the grimmest place imaginable.

So says someone from Birmingham?

 

[Cross City]

So says someone from Birmingham?

Brum's great... Manchester isn't.

 

[birchesgreen]

Brum will be great when its finished.

 

[Techniquest]

So says someone from Birmingham?

Hear hear, I'd absolutely choose Manchester over Birmingham any day of the week!

 

[Cross City]

Hear hear, I'd absolutely choose Manchester over Birmingham any day of the week!

It's OK to be wrong.

 

[dangie]

Hear hear, I'd absolutely choose Manchester over Birmingham any day of the week!

The only benefit Manchester has over Birmingham is that it’s farther away from London...

 

[Silenos]

The only benefit Manchester has over Birmingham is that it’s farther away from London...

I was thinking that all the Londoners would see this as two bald men fighting over a comb…

 

[AM9]

I don't mind it raining when England are in a losing position at a test match, it is when they are winning and a rain delay affects the result.

So as far as you are concerned, it's a tribal following thing rather than sports event.

 

[Gloster]

Another supermarket one. People who use the manned tills and then park their trolley end on to it while they load their purchases: this sticks out into the main passageway and gets in everybody’s way. For good measure there are usually two of them (often elderly couples), one of whom stands at the handle end of the trolley, so further blocking the passageway.

 

[dangie]

Oh for pity’s sake……..

Plan for biggest Nessie search in more than 50 years

Volunteers have been sought for the effort which is to feature drones fitted with infrared cameras.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Calthrop]

Oh for pity’s sake……..

Plan for biggest Nessie search in more than 50 years

Volunteers have been sought for the effort which is to feature drones fitted with infrared cameras.

www.bbc.co.uk

What exactly is your position on this business? Do you wish for the Loch Ness Monster and everything to do with it, to be eradicated from human ken for all time; or just for the more daft manifestations of interest / curiosity re the matter, to be banned?

 

[D6130]

What exactly is your position on this business? Do you wish for the Loch Ness Monster and everything to do with it, to be eradicated from human ken for all time; or just for the more daft manifestations of interest / curiosity re the matter, to be banned?

I believe that this new search effort may be somehow connected with a forthcoming review of pub and bar closing times in the Inverness and Fort Augustus areas.....

 

[Gloster]

Oh for pity’s sake……..

Plan for biggest Nessie search in more than 50 years

Volunteers have been sought for the effort which is to feature drones fitted with infrared cameras.

www.bbc.co.uk

Rather pointless and bound to fail at this time of the year. Everybody knows that Nessie, if I may permit myself the familiarity, goes off to their (*) summer residence, the Storsjön in Sweden.

* - With the SNP’s confusion over gender politics, what are they going to call Nessie?

 

[52290]

What exactly is your position on this business? Do you wish for the Loch Ness Monster and everything to do with it, to be eradicated from human ken for all time; or just for the more daft manifestations of interest / curiosity re the matter, to be banned?

I'd prefer to go hunting for the Snark.

 

[Calthrop]

I'd prefer to go hunting for the Snark.

That's all very well, as long as it doesn't turn out to be a Boojum.

 

[Busaholic]

What exactly is your position on this business? Do you wish for the Loch Ness Monster and everything to do with it, to be eradicated from human ken for all time; or just for the more daft manifestations of interest / curiosity re the matter, to be banned?

If it were to be 'banned' would it not be the case that Nessie assumed a level of interest not seen in decades?! Great for the Loch Ness tourist business.

 

[Silenos]

That's all very well, as long as it doesn't turn out to be a Boojum.

Ban the Boojum!

 

[New York Giant]

Why are we required to "lock in" answers on game shows these days?

Every single one! Jim Bowen didn't ask you to lock in your answer on Bullseye. Bob Holness never asked you to lock your answer in on Blockbusters. Its turned into an irritating 21st century gameshow buzzword and needs to go... soon!

 

[al78]

Another supermarket one. People who use the manned tills and then park their trolley end on to it while they load their purchases: this sticks out into the main passageway and gets in everybody’s way. For good measure there are usually two of them (often elderly couples), one of whom stands at the handle end of the trolley, so further blocking the passageway.

I don't get the issue here. In every supermarket I've ever frequented people enter and queue at the manned checkouts end on as the checkout aisle is only big enough for the trolley to be moved along lengthways. If the queue exceeds the length of the checkout then people will leave a gap large enough for cross traffic. I've never experienced a walkway blocked by a checkout queue.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Why are we required to "lock in" answers on game shows these days?

Marginally better, I suppose, than when the gameshow host says that "We have to accept your first answer".

 

[dangie]

Why are we required to "lock in" answers on game shows these days?

…. and why do they take ages to say whether they are correct or not once the contestants have given the answer?

Oh I know. Spread a 15 minute show into half an hour……

 

[Trainguy34]

…. and why do they take ages to say whether they are correct or not once the contestants have given the answer?

Oh I know. Spread a 15 minute show into half an hour……

I thought thats what annoying, repetitive, useless ads were for

 

[AM9]

Why are we required to "lock in" answers on game shows these days?

Every single one! Jim Bowen didn't ask you to lock in your answer on Bullseye. Bob Holness never asked you to lock your answer in on Blockbusters. Its turned into an irritating 21st century gameshow buzzword and needs to go... soon!

Then there's the dragging out the name of a winner whilst the camera flicks from close-ups of each contestants face all designed to create false tensions.

 

[xotGD]

I want to ban lifts with doors on both sides. You stand there when you reach your floor, facing the doors you got in at, and nothing happens. Then you realise that the doors have opened behind you.

While I am at it, also lifts with non-obvious indications as to which floor is which. P? M? L? R? What's all that about?

Then of course you have lifts in the US, where the first floor is "2"!

 

[Whistler40145]

I want to ban lifts that keep going up and down, even though you’ve requested a specific floor

 

[dangie]

I want to ban lifts with doors on both sides. You stand there when you reach your floor, facing the doors you got in at, and nothing happens. Then you realise that the doors have opened behind you.

I may be wrong here, maybe mixed up with somewhere else but I think Stafford Station is like this. Benefit is that you walk in forwards with your suitcase or bicycle, reach your floor then simply carry on walking forwards. No tricky reversing involved.

 

[AM9]

I may be wrong here, maybe mixed up with somewhere else but I think Stafford Station is like this. Benefit is that you walk in forwards with your suitcase or bicycle, reach your floor then simply carry on walking forwards. No tricky reversing involved.

There's a lift at Farringdon stationn where you exit the door which is at 90 degrees from the one that you entered.

 

[Whistler40145]

There's a lift at Farringdon stationn where you exit the door which is at 90 degrees from the one that you entered.

We have a lift just the same in a Wetherspoons in Blackpool town centre, ground and first floors are as normal and the top floor for the roof terrace is a side door