A Matter of Morals

[blackettstreet]

I don't think any non-religious married couples think sex is the be-all-and-end-all, which you seem to be implying.

I'm not trying to, but it seems to be suggested by some.

 

[Darandio]

Well why would someone want to? Sex is the be-all and end-all to a marriage?

There was nothing in my comment or the comment you originally quoted to say that. You have decided to say that.

My partner found me by grabbing my backside on a night out, we were attracted to each other from that night. 8 years later we are still together and have two beautiful young children.

The attraction that night was initially on sex appeal but we are still together, very much in love.

So yes, you can do it that way.

 

[EM2]

So people try to attract people to spend their life with by sex appeal?
(Don't bother following up on that comment, I know it's sadly true.)

I know that is not how I would want to find someone who I would marry.

But you must have an initial attraction. Yes, personality is important but there *must* be an initial attraction of something, whether it's looks, charm, wit, style or whatever. You can't discover a personality on first impressions.
That doesn't mean, of course, that you can't then find someone attractive once you've got to know them and learnt more about them and discovered what their personality is like (this will happen more often than not in a work situation), in fact this is what happened with me and my wife.

 

[blackettstreet]

There was nothing in my comment or the comment you originally quoted to say that. You have decided to say that.

My apologies.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

That doesn't mean, of course, that you can't then find someone attractive once you've got to know them and learnt more about them and discovered what their personality is like (this will happen more often than not in a work situation), in fact this is what happened with me and my wife.

A good point.

You also say that you can't discover personality on first impressions. I agree. But then I would not want to choose someone just because of an initial physical attraction, then discover their personality.

On the other hand, as I have previously mentioned, there is always going to be biology involved. It's a fact.

So I can appreciate what you're saying.

 

[sprinterguy]

far from it, if thats what you think fair enough, but perhaps your christianity is covering you up from the real world. this is everyday dress in this day and age. As your 13 i wont suggest going to a nightclub, but realistically 90% of girls in nightclub enviroments wear far less.

Just because it is a common occurence in our society doesn't mean that the societal values that are in place to bring about such behaviour shouldn't be questioned. I have no moral qualms about the dresswear of the opposite sex, and nor do I believe that they should not have the choice to wear whatever they please as they freely wish.

A previous post some way back insinuated that the girls wished to look good by wearing the attire they were clothed in, but why is it that a girl "looking good" insinuates that large expanses of exposed flesh should be present? It is not the behaviour of girls who dress like this that is at question, but the social pressures that are placed upon them that suggets that this is the way that things have to be.

 

[90019]

So people try to attract people to spend their life with by sex appeal?

What attracts you to another person?

I know that is not how I would want to find someone who I would marry.

Which is fine, but not everyone is the same as you.

Well why would someone want to? Sex is the be-all and end-all to a marriage?

For you it's not.
For some it is.
So what?

People look for different things in a relationship, whether you agree or disagree with it doesn't make it right or wrong.

I bet some of the things I look for in a relationship you'd disagree with as well, but that doesn't make it wrong, it just makes me different from you.

 

[richw]

i'm unmarried, live with fiance and have a beautiful daughter. Wouldnt change it for anything, I've everything i could wish for, have my home, 2 nice cars, everything i could possibly want and very happy. I wouldnt have any of it if my fiance didnt fall pregnant outside of marriage as that brought us closer together from just being just a "casual" relationship.

I am getting married on saturday though!

 

[blackettstreet]

People look for different things in a relationship, whether you agree or disagree with it doesn't make it right or wrong.

I bet some of the things I look for in a relationship you'd disagree with as well, but that doesn't make it wrong, it just makes me different from you.

I know. I haven't being trying to say that something is right or wrong.

 

[Minilad]

i'm unmarried, live with fiance and have a beautiful daughter. Wouldnt change it for anything, I've everything i could wish for, have my home, 2 nice cars, everything i could possibly want and very happy. I wouldnt have any of it if my fiance didnt fall pregnant outside of marriage as that brought us closer together from just being just a "casual" relationship.

I am getting married on saturday though!

Congratulations mate. There is still time to come to your senses though you know

 

[EM2]

But then I would not want to choose someone just because of an initial physical attraction, then discover their personality.

Ah, that's why we have dating! When you find out that you just aren't compatible, and you 'choose' someone else.

 

[90019]

I know. I haven't being trying to say that something is right or wrong.

So what's your issue with the photo then?

 

[blackettstreet]

So what's your issue with the photo then?

....(exasperated sigh).......if I remember correctly, that's how this all began....:neutral:

 

[Minilad]

Time to grab a beer put your feet up and sit on here all night. This could get messy !

 

[richw]

Congratulations mate. There is still time to come to your senses though you know

cheers mate, will lose too much not to, cost us a fortune!

 

[blackettstreet]

Time to grab a beer put your feet up and sit on here all night. This could get messy !

No.

It won't.

 

[90019]

....(exasperated sigh).......if I remember correctly, that's how this all began....:neutral:

So, actually, the whole thread was about nothing then?

All I have to say, is I am disgusted - not even at its use to try and win the competition, but at its simple existence. I feel it is completely immoral.

If you're not saying it's wrong, why is it immoral? And why are you disgusted by it?

 

[Minilad]

No.

It won't.

Oh yeah I forgot. You are too young to have a beer

 

[MidnightFlyer]

Oh yeah I forgot. You are too young to have a beer

And too Christian :P

 

[richw]

Oh yeah I forgot. You are too young to have a beer

and against religious morals?

anyway keep this thread entertaining, home alone with beer, and classic only fools on uk gold
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

And too Christian :P

beat me to it!

 

[GB]

I know. I haven't being trying to say that something is right or wrong.

If you find it immoral then surely by definition you think its wrong?

 

[Minilad]

And the lord doth say. Go forth to the offy and get a couple of bottles of Charles Wells Banana Bread Beer. So they did and much merriment taketh place

 

[richw]

Charles Wells Banana Bread Beer.

any good is it? keep seeing it in asda and almost but not quite buying it!

 

[Minilad]

any good is it? keep seeing it in asda and almost but not quite buying it!

I would say it's the nectar of the Gods. But that might upset certain people

 

[richw]

will have to give it try then!

 

[SteveP29]

No disrespect intended towards you here, but in a couple of years (if not sooner), then you will view that sort of picture in a totally different light, regardless of religous views.

Wait till he goes on a mate's stag do, see what happens when the stripper they order gets her kit off in front of him, it'll be either run a mile or he'll say f***ing get in there, look at those!!

Secondly, I see you're a Newcastle United fan like myself, when you're 18 and going to the match, go for a few pints in Blu Bambu or the City Vaults in the Bigg Market, see plenty lasses with their jubblies out, you'll feel like a pig in s**t

 

[Minilad]

Secondly, I see you're a Newcastle United fan like myself, when you're 18 and going to the match, go for a few pints in Blu Bambu or the City Vaults in the Bigg Market, see plenty lasses with their jubblies out, you'll feel like a pig in s**t

You will need to do all that to get over having to watch Newcastle every week

 

[SteveP29]

My apologies.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

But then I would not want to choose someone just because of an initial physical attraction, then discover their personality

Then how do you propose to get to know their personality?

Best way is by face to face chat, only way you're going to do that is by taking them out, you can't make assumptions based on what you read in an email or a txt as it is you that is reading it, you make up your mind as to what the tone and meaning of what it says, which, as many people have found to their cost, is sometimes a million miles away from what was initially meant.

As others here are saying, you can't be attracted to someone you've never met because of their personality, as that's impossible, so there has to be some other sort of attraction that leads you into pursuing them
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

I am getting married on saturday though!

Congratulations, hope it's a great day for both of you

 

[junglejames]

The thing with Keys/Gray was the holier-than-thou/moral high ground aftertones from feminists such as Karren Brady, getting on their high horses about how women are continually discriminated against at work, with absolutely no attempt to tackle the issue of a couple of people saying inappropriate things.
Yes Keys and Gray should've been a little more responsible, but all it needed was a formal apology

But how many apologies have they got to issue, and how many sexist comments are they able to make, before something is done about them.
Remember, the sexist comments regarding the assistant referee was not the first thing.

 

[SteveP29]

So, actually, the whole thread was about nothing then?

Of course it was about nothing, that's why we get to page 15 before it dawns on us that it was nothing!!

 

[tony_mac]

But there is no reason for them to choose to dress in such a manner, then pose for a photo, unless they were trying to give a certain sort of impression.

Because they have free will and wanted to? As far as I am concerned they can give whatever impression they like, as long as they do it freely.

I can only view this as sexulisation.

People can, and do, choose to sexualise themselves; sexuality is a very important part of some people's lives and is perfectly normal.

If you don't understand it then there isn't much anyone can say to change your mind, but other people do understand it and are not likely to agree with you that it is 'wrong'.

However, would the company have chosen to also dress male staff in such a suggestive manner? Therefore, I also view this as discrimination. Subtle, perhaps, but discrimination nonetheless.

I actually agree with that.

If they choose to dress like that, it's fine, they have the power to make that choice, but if it's some sort of 'uniform' then I do find it objectionable.
In my opinion, people should be employed for their ability to do the job, not for how they look in a mini-skirt.

It is, in my opinion, but an example of sexualisation in modern society.

Again, expressing their sexuality is an important part of many people's lives.

I do not think sexualisation of those who do not consent to it, or are not old enough to understand the implications is a good thing.
I think that people who are old enough, and understand what they are doing, should be free to express themselves.

I find someone telling others that they are not allowed to express their sexuality objectionable.

(I find that certain attitudes of certain religions towards women and homosexuals to be reprehensible, and is denying people the freedom to be themselves without being punished for it.)