Trivia: Unusual or Amusing Messages to Passengers

[Gloster]

And produced by George Martin. Now where have I heard that name before...?

Who also says one line.

 

[45669]

Who also says one line.

Does he? Which one?

 

[Gloster]

Does he? Which one?

“A suit to remember at Montague Moss.” Or so I have heard. On The Best of Sellars album he is also heard in the Irish ballad when a chair was kicked across the room for a sound effect and hit him: his unscripted ‘Ow’ can be heard.

 

[45669]

“A suit to remember at Montague Moss.” Or so I have heard. On The Best of Sellars album he is also heard in the Irish ballad when a chair was kicked across the room for a sound effect and hit him: his unscripted ‘Ow’ can be heard.

I shall have to listen more carefully next time.

 

[Travelmonkey]

On a avanti into Liverpool earlier "if you like the person your with & their asleep please wake them if you don't leave them and we'll take them back to london"

That made me smile a bit.

 

[trainophile]

On a avanti into Liverpool earlier "if you like the person your with & their asleep please wake them if you don't leave them and we'll take them back to london"

That made me smile a bit.

Scouse crew no doubt?

 

[4COR]

??? I don't know who that is.

Ahh - Here you go:

(Link to youtube recording by Cameron Potts from onboard a Southern Rail service).

 

[Sealink]

Also on GNER, first time I'd ever heard it called anything but a trolley service, lovely Geordie chap announced that there'd be an at-seat service - which I totally misheard. The trolley guy was definitely gruff, but I thought "a Nazi service" was a bit harsh!

In fact, the person telling kids to nag their parents was Geordie! I think he referred to over-priced snacks which got a giggle from a lot of passengers, and helped sales I think!

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 21 Nov 2025 ==

Did he pronounce Balham as Bal-ham? Older readers will know why I ask.

Pretty sure it was Bal-ham. In fact every station was pronounced uniquely!

 

[Travelmonkey]

Scouse crew no doubt?

Belive so it was the special liveried 807

 

[321362]

"Please use all available doors, surprisingly enough this train does have more than one door" - Oxford Circus dispatcher

 

[trainophile]

TPE guard on my 08:54 Ex-Scarborough train has just made a very amusing announcement, including “we will be travelling at up to 100 miles an hour, at an altitude of approximately three feet”. Not bad for this time of day!

 

[rower40]

TPE guard on my 08:54 Ex-Scarborough train has just made a very amusing announcement, including “we will be travelling at up to 100 miles an hour, at an altitude of approximately three feet”. Not bad for this time of day!

Preparing you for the announcement about all four engines failing, and be glad you’re not in a 747…

 

[Anstecker]

In the 2000s, at Finchley Road, from a Jubilee line driver "and if you'd like to change to the great antiquity that is the Metropolitan line"

 

[Steddenm]

Heard at Norwich the other day on the automated announcer:

This train is delayed due to a boat striking a bridge.

Have to say have heard that before and was quite taken aback by it!

 

[Broucek]

Years ago on Virgin Atlantic.

"In the event that the cabin air supply fails, masks will be provided. When you have finished screaming, pull the mask towards you...."

 

[pokemonsuper9]

Preparing you for the announcement about all four engines failing, and be glad you’re not in a 747…

I would be very surprised if somehow 4 of 3 engines on a 185 failed.

 

[sabanda]

TM on a Voyager the other day announced that we would shortly be terminating at “sunny Bournemouth”. A glance out of the window confirmed that it was anything but!

 

[43106]

Not sure if this counts as it wasn't meant to be directed to passengers. I went for an job interview in north Bristol in about 2001 and I waited at Bristol Parkway for the next train north towards Birmingham. For some reason, the service was all to pot and I finished up waiting for a few minutes for a Virgin XC train from Paignton. The guard on the train then made an announcement that due to the problems that day, anyone going to or beyond Derby should change at Cheltenham for a train going to Newcastle which was only 5 minutes behind. I and about 50 other passengers duly alighted at Cheltenham. The P.A. at Cheltenham then announced that the next train for Newcastle (another Virgin XC) would only be going as far as York. Whoever made that announcement kept his/her thumb on the microphone 'on' button as one of hie/her colleagues was clearly heard to say "Typical Virgin - won't go all the way"! The laughter (by mostly the men amongst us) must've been heard in Gloucester!

 

[aftv]

I once had a Southern OBS announce extra calls at Ifield and Littlehaven when Thameslink where having a bad day on the Train Crew front as "We'll be making extra stops at Ifield and Littlehaven this evening because Thameslink can't be bothered to run a train service today." It certianly gave me a chuckle as I got off at Crawley.

 

[MadMac]

Years ago on Virgin Atlantic.

"In the event that the cabin air supply fails, masks will be provided. When you have finished screaming, pull the mask towards you...."

Semi-related story involving a late BR colleague: he and his wife flew on Concorde and following the pre-flight safety briefing, one passenger called a member of the cabin crew over to point out that they hadn’t mentioned oxygen masks. He was told that there wasn’t a lot of point in providing them, given that in the event of depressurisation at Concorde’s altitude and speed, everyone on board’s blood would boil in approximately 3.2 seconds…..

 

[Tester]

Semi-related story involving a late BR colleague: he and his wife flew on Concorde and following the pre-flight safety briefing, one passenger called a member of the cabin crew over to point out that they hadn’t mentioned oxygen masks. He was told that there wasn’t a lot of point in providing them, given that in the event of depressurisation at Concorde’s altitude and speed, everyone on board’s blood would boil in approximately 3.2 seconds…..

I don't remember that in the advertising

 

[MoominAndChips]

Semi-related story involving a late BR colleague: he and his wife flew on Concorde and following the pre-flight safety briefing, one passenger called a member of the cabin crew over to point out that they hadn’t mentioned oxygen masks. He was told that there wasn’t a lot of point in providing them, given that in the event of depressurisation at Concorde’s altitude and speed, everyone on board’s blood would boil in approximately 3.2 seconds…..

The reason Concorde's windows are so tiny is exactly to limit the rate of outflow if one should fail. Also:

Concorde emergency Oxygen system

A description of Concorde emergency oxygen system

www.heritageconcorde.com

(The link gives details of both flight crew and passenger oxygen systems.)

Someone's had their leg pulled, somewhere.

 

[Acathater]

At Lancaster station a few weeks back......."Please go to platform 5 for the Yorkshire Pullman"
(If you don't know... it's a 158 going to Leeds)

 

[Ian Hardy]

At Lancaster station a few weeks back......."Please go to platform 5 for the Yorkshire Pullman"
(If you don't know... it's a 158 going to Leeds)

That announcement would have been even more appropriate when the Leeds services were operated with Pacers, as the 158s are luxury compared to the Pacers.
Which is probably why those words were used, as the person making the announcement remembers the Pacers been used on the Leeds services.

 

[SirAlf]

A couple of flight-based ones

On a Ryanair flight about 10 years ago…. The life jacket has a whistle and a light to attract attention…. And sharks

On an internal flight in China where the seat belts didn’t work…. No need for seat belts. We fly over mountains, if we crash you die. So we don’t need seat belts

 

[Recessio]

Best one I had was waiting at East Grinstead in 2016 during some disruption. The train had been waiting in the platform and I was sat on board for about an hour, when the guard announced "we're just waiting for the train to fill up with air". Now, given that I was breathing at this point in time...

This was during the strikes and I did wonder if the guard had just decided to come up with outlandish reasons other than usual "staff shortages/strike action"!

 

[skyhigh]

Best one I had was waiting at East Grinstead in 2016 during some disruption. The train had been waiting in the platform and I was sat on board for about an hour, when the guard announced "we're just waiting for the train to fill up with air". Now, given that I was breathing at this point in time...

This was during the strikes and I did wonder if the guard had just decided to come up with outlandish reasons other than usual "staff shortages/strike action"!

Brakes and other systems run on compressed air - if it was a diesel (or an electric with the power turned off due to whatever the disruption was) that had been sat for a while then it does take a while to build air pressure back up, so it was probably correct, if not exactly useful for passengers to know.

 

[sabanda]

Seeing as flights are allowed, I was on an Isles of Scilly Skybus flight into Gatwick a few weeks ago where the Italian cabin manager thanked us for flying with ‘Isles of Sicily Skybus’..!

 

[The exile]

Many years ago, at about the time it started to be deemed necessary to remind passengers of their luggage, I remember the announcement being “Passengers alighting here (Carlisle, I think) please make sure you take your luggage, rubbish and children with you”.

 

[Pinus contorta]

That announcement would have been even more appropriate when the Leeds services were operated with Pacers, as the 158s are luxury compared to the Pacers.
Which is probably why those words were used, as the person making the announcement remembers the Pacers been used on the Leeds services.

That guy at Lancaster is quite a comedian. I remember him once announcing the Virgin Train being delayed due to sheep on the slow line at Sheeap ( and some other alliteration afterwards)