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Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

Drogba11CFC

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15 Sep 2009
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941
People who go to hotels with the sole purpose of keeping as many people up as possible should be banned from all branches of said hotels for life.
 
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Sun Chariot

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2 miles and 50 years away from the Longmoor Milita
People - and I include my dear parents in this from the 1970s and 1980s - who buy and accumulate things solely for "well - in case someone comes round". Including but not limited to:
1) drinks cabinet full of spirits and liqueurs they neither liked nor would ever consume,
2) vast sets of crockery (blue Wedgewood was the favourite of my parents),
3) similarly vast sets of "fussily cut" crystal drinking glasses of every possible type of drink and a few more too.

Just. Why?
 
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gg1

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2 Jun 2011
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Birmingham
People - and I include my dear parents in this from the 1970s and 1980s - who buy and accumulate things solely for "well - in case someone comes round". Including but not limited to:
1) drinks cabinet full of spirits and liqueurs they neither liked nor would ever consume,
2) vast sets of crockery (blue Wedgewood was the favourite of my parents),
3) similarly vast sets of "fussily cut" crystal drinking glasses of every possible type of drink and a few more too.

Just. Why?
In the case of my parents, 2 and 3 were either receieved as presents or inheritied so they'd have probably felt guilty about getting rid of them.
 

Drogba11CFC

Member
Joined
15 Sep 2009
Messages
941
What sort of fresh hell are you staying in tonight chap! o_O
This was back in April, in the Coventry Premier Inn before attending Model World Live. Very loud talking and a smell of what I suspect was cannabis in the corridor.
 

Ashley Hill

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8 Dec 2019
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The West Country
I will be ruthless when it's time to clear their house...
My fathers already made a start. He had a big clear out after mother passed away in 2004. Nowadays no nick knack, unused crockery, ornament or glass is safe from a one way trip to a charity shop. He says it will save me time when his numbers up.
 

styles

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7 Dec 2014
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Gwynedd
I will be ruthless when it's time to clear their house...
When my mum moved from our old home to a retirement style property, my sister and I were indeed ruthless.

We needed to clear out the attic, which had things in there which I'm sure hadn't been touched in the maybe 15 years or more that we lived there.

We left my mum in the living room, shut the door, and didn't even let her see what we were loading into the car to take to the tip.

There isn't a single thing which was up there which my mum has now asked for.

Did the same during lockdown at my mother in law's. The tips were shut so we had a good fire going in the garden getting rid of paperwork, then loaded the trailer up ready to take to the tip when they reopened, put the cover on, and she didn't look at it. Occasionally she caught a glimpse of us carrying something past the living room and almost without fail would say she wanted to keep it, with spurious excuses. Her 3 children managed to convince her to get rid of most things. The few things we kept were put on display or allocated a time and a place where they would be moved to e.g. her daughter's house.

I actually have a fairly solid rule of thumb for the attic now which is that, bar seasonal decorations, and boxes for expensive things recently bought which may need returning, nothing else should really be up there. If it's living in the attic for years on end, it's clearly not being loved, so might as well get rid.
 

Sun Chariot

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I actually have a fairly solid rule of thumb for the attic now which is that, bar seasonal decorations, and boxes for expensive things recently bought which may need returning, nothing else should really be up there. If it's living in the attic for years on end, it's clearly not being loved, so might as well get rid.
My wife likes to hoard (of course, she might well accuse my OO and HO models are the same trait!). Her hoard is mostly dresses, shoes and handbags.
So - "if it hasn't been worn or used in the past 24 months, it's off to charity" and "one in, one out". :D
 

Gloster

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Up the creek
All those articles that give advice about your health and tell you how to ‘reduce your risk of death’. You can’t reduce your risk of death: it is 100% whatever do or don’t do.
 

Richard Scott

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International Transport
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13 Dec 2018
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All those articles that give advice about your health and tell you how to ‘reduce your risk of death’. You can’t reduce your risk of death: it is 100% whatever do or don’t do.
True, you never save a life, just delay death!
 

Thirteen

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London
Not a ban but I think everyone should go through a five day course of how to use their smartphone
 

Peter C

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13 Oct 2018
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GWR land
Not a ban but I think everyone should go through a five day course of how to use their smartphone
With a module on said course devoted to learning not to stop dead in the middle of the pavement when staring at your phone, and another module about not watching videos on your phone as you walk along, instead paying attention to the world around you... :D

-Peter
 

Richard Scott

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Associate Staff
International Transport
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13 Dec 2018
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4,584
Not a ban but I think everyone should go through a five day course of how to use their smartphone
...and where to find the silent mode do I don't need to know everytime they receive a message. Also to inform them it doesn't just have a loudspeaker mode.
 

Hadlow Road

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11 Jan 2024
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N E Wales
With a module on said course devoted to learning not to stop dead in the middle of the pavement when staring at your phone, and another module about not watching videos on your phone as you walk along, instead paying attention to the world around you... :D

-Peter
 

DM352

Member
Joined
9 Oct 2019
Messages
290
Location
White north
Spot on! It’s a phone not a 2 way radio!
I had three different contractors in succession on speakerphones at the hardware store yesterday who stopped next to me. It was tempting to join in but instead I need to get an old discontinued phone* and playback the pacer squeeling overture on joint track starting with Oldham Mumps or the recent loud 455/7

Similar, why do planes have affordable wifi? Used to be a place smartphone free but with earplugs one time, still heard the random ding with some oblivious guys phone behind me. Wanted to press the call button but instead a beer helped me.


*old phone in case it gets thrown by unappreciative contractor under his white van
 

bleeder4

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19 Jan 2019
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Worcester
Reminds me of that recent portrait photo of Princess Isabella of Denmark to mark her 18th birthday. She couldn't let go of her phone for even the few minutes it took the photographer to take the photo. So her official photo which gets hung on the walls of palaces has her firmly clasping her phone. I'm amazed she even managed to look away from it for a second to look at the photographer.

718230
 

gg1

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2 Jun 2011
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Birmingham
Probably been mentioned here before but alcohol shrinkflation.

I opened my first bottle of Harveys Bristol Cream of the winter yesterday (I only every drink sherry in winter for some reason, no I don't know why). It wasn't as flavourful as I remember, looked at the label and turns out they've reduced the alcohol content from 17.5% to 15.5%. It tastes suspiciously like they've literally just watered down the old recipe.
 

AlterEgo

Verified Rep - Wingin' It! Paul Lucas
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30 Dec 2008
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LBK
Reminds me of that recent portrait photo of Princess Isabella of Denmark to mark her 18th birthday. She couldn't let go of her phone for even the few minutes it took the photographer to take the photo. So her official photo which gets hung on the walls of palaces has her firmly clasping her phone. I'm amazed she even managed to look away from it for a second to look at the photographer.

718230
It isn't her official photo. Her mother took the picture in between the actual official shoots.
 

Gloster

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Up the creek
Another episode in my never-ending annoyance with other users of supermarkets. People who place their trolleys sideways against the shelves and walk well away, but come dashing back shouting (yes, shouting) when you move it so that you can get something off the top shelf.
 

Bald Rick

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Another episode in my never-ending annoyance with other users of supermarkets. People who place their trolleys sideways against the shelves and walk well away, but come dashing back shouting (yes, shouting) when you move it so that you can get something off the top shelf.

I find trolley driving standards to have declined broadly in line with car driving standards.

At least two of the poor trolley drivers I have observed recently I also saw in the car parks, loading up their Nissans. ‘Nuff said.
 
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Gloster

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Not a supermarket one this time. People who, when you are talking to the doctors’ receptionist, walk right up behind you, instead of maintaining a decent distance, and then start a loud conversation with someone sitting in the waiting area. I couldn’t hear the receptionist, she couldn’t hear me and he couldn’t hear either of us: I had to tap him on the shoulder to get him to turn round so that she could ask him to move back and speak more quietly. Cue a baffled expression on his face and vague grumbles as he moved away. Although he was next in line, he was still talking to his mate after I had finished and was leaving the surgery.
 

Gloster

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Another irritation of the interweb thingy that seems to have become worse since I finally discovered that my iPad doesn’t, as I had thought, automatically update (three years of updates in one go mean that things that didn’t work properly, such as Google maps, the Routeing Guide, pdf downloads, etc. now work). However, it has introduced the idiocies of AI. I want to look at something about Barby Signal Box so it fills umpteen pages with weird connections between Barbie and signal boxes…and they are weird. It also throws in random foreign letters such as the scharfes s.
 

Gloster

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Up the creek
Notices saying, ‘This gate must be kept closed at all times’, or similar. If you mean that it should be closed immediately after use, why don’t you say so? Or why not just put up a fence?
 

jbqfc

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crawley
the new trend for websites to make you sign up or pay to get rid of cookie mostly news sites
I just go elsewhere
 

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