Trivia: Unusual or Amusing Messages to Passengers

[adc82140]

Eurostar, many years back when they used to announce when maximum speed had been reached:

Two announcements, same train manager. The first was in French, with very exaggerated Gallic inflections (you could almost imagine the hand expressions to go with it) "....notre vitesse maximale!!!", the next in English, completely deadpan Cockney.

 

[MoominAndChips]

Minding my own business on the platform at Runcorn East, probably about 15 years ago, when I heard: "Oi! Mate! Do you know when the next train's due?!"

Nothing especially unusual about that, except that the questioner was leaning out of the signal box!

 

[Sad Sprinter]

Eurostar, many years back when they used to announce when maximum speed had been reached:

Two announcements, same train manager. The first was in French, with very exaggerated Gallic inflections (you could almost imagine the hand expressions to go with it) "....notre vitesse maximale!!!", the next in English, completely deadpan Cockney.

I remember them doing that, also remember them announcing when you were approaching the Channel Tunnel. Very exciting.

 

[ainsworth74]

There is one guard in the North East I took his service up to Thornaby he was making illiterative jokes at each station call, "we are now approaching sunny Sunderland" also "heroic hartlepool" can't remember the rest but it was definitely good to see the lad enjoying his work.

Yes he's a canny guy and has various ones for most of the major(ish) stations around here. If the auto-announcements are working he'll normally do it on the approach to a major station (like Middlesbrough) rather than every station. We also have a poet conductor around here:

Some people may quickly run out of steam when it comes to poetry, but Northern Rail train conductor Graham Palmer is always on the right track when delivering on-train announcements in rhyming couplet form.

Graham - brought up in Marske but now living in Skelton - likes to freshen up his safety and information announcements with a quirky selection of self-penned couplets. And passengers are so chuffed with the way he brightens their journeys, he’s been nominated for one of the company’s internal Price of Northern awards.

[...]

Examples of Graham’s poetry:
​

At the start of the journey.....

I’m Graham your conductor and welcome on track
Safety information’s at front and back
Keep all your personal belongings in view
As you don’t want anything missing, do you?

Have your tickets and passes ready to see
And if you have neither, you’ll have to pay me
If you’re buying a ticket, please have the right money
Cos my tea’s going cold and it’s simply not funny.


And at the end of the journey......

Thank you for travelling on Northern with Graham
Please use the handrails when you step from the train
If you’re making connections, consult platform screens
Or ask station staff if there’s any to be seen

Keep your tickets and passes to exit the gate
Cos any delay and you’ll be in late
Tell Northern Rail Twitter how it was for you
Cos we value your feedback, yes we really do!

Watch the Northern Rail conductor whose poems keep passengers on the right track

Marske's Bard of the rails Graham Palmer uses rhyming couplets when delivering his on-train announcements

www.gazettelive.co.uk

Sadly don't get to hear them very much anymore due to the auto-announcements that now prevail but if the system goes down he does still do them from time to time.

 

[Royston Vasey]

Noticed this and it seems as good a place as any to post it...

An unpleasant business at Crewe afflicting 1W61 last Friday, being cancelled between Crewe and Manchester

https://www.realtimetrains.co.uk/service/gb-nr:G56096/2025-10-10/detailed

This service was cancelled between Crewe and Manchester Piccadilly due to a passenger being taken ill (VD).

Unnecessarily specific on the illness and an unusually rapid onset, I thought!

 

[hexagon789]

Noticed this and it seems as good a place as any to post it...

An unpleasant business at Crewe afflicting 1W61 last Friday, being cancelled between Crewe and Manchester

https://www.realtimetrains.co.uk/service/gb-nr:G56096/2025-10-10/detailed



Unnecessarily specific on the illness and an unusually rapid onset, I thought!

Where is it specific on the illness?

The RTT link just shows the usual "passenger taken ill" that can cover anything really.

 

[Royston Vasey]

Where is it specific on the illness?

The RTT link just shows the usual "passenger taken ill" that can cover anything really.

The NR cancellation code is "VD"!

 

[hexagon789]

The NR cancellation code is "VD"!

Yes, but that still means nothing more than a "passenger taken ill"!

They could've had a heart attack or something else entirely and it would still be "VD".

 

[Royston Vasey]

Yes, but that still means nothing more than a "passenger taken ill"!

They could've had a heart attack or something else entirely and it would still be "VD".

I know, but it made me chuckle!

 

[Tester]

Yes, but that still means nothing more than a "passenger taken ill"!

They could've had a heart attack or something else entirely and it would still be "VD".

You'd think they could have used ANY other code

 

[ainsworth74]

You'd think they could have used ANY other code

I've always assumed whoever chose the original sets of codes knew exactly what they were doing when they chose "VD" for passenger being taken ill. Like I also reckon they knew exactly what they were doing when they made driver unavailable "TG" (surely a guard being unavailable should be TG!).

 

[hexagon789]

I know, but it made me chuckle!

That's fair!

You'd think they could have used ANY other code

Possibly because the codes are two-part - the first letter is the category, the second is the actual reason.

"V" alone is "external events - TOC responsibility.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 14 Oct 2025 ==

I've always assumed whoever chose the original sets of codes knew exactly what they were doing when they chose "VD" for passenger being taken ill. Like I also reckon they knew exactly what they were doing when they made driver unavailable "TG" (surely a guard being unavailable should be TG!).

I think it's just because after the first letter, it's just a list accorded a second letter in order - hence TG is driver, TH is guard/conductor/train manager.

 

[MoominAndChips]

Arrived into Crewe on a Pendolino, then went nowhere. Eventually it was announced that the points had failed in front of us, and the train would need to head back out the other way and come in on the next platform. Everyone would have to get off the train and cross the platform because "we're not allowed to have passengers on the train when it isn't in a station"!

 

[M60lad]

Yes he's a canny guy and has various ones for most of the major(ish) stations around here. If the auto-announcements are working he'll normally do it on the approach to a major station (like Middlesbrough) rather than every station. We also have a poet conductor around here:

Watch the Northern Rail conductor whose poems keep passengers on the right track

Marske's Bard of the rails Graham Palmer uses rhyming couplets when delivering his on-train announcements

www.gazettelive.co.uk

Sadly don't get to hear them very much anymore due to the auto-announcements that now prevail but if the system goes down he does still do them from time to time.

This remind me of when Virgin used to have the West Coast Franchise and legendary Shop Manager Patrick would state that the shop was open with one of his famous poems, used to always make me chuckle when travelling when he was on.

 

[TrackWatch]

No idea if either of these are true or embroidered over the years but these two were regularly told by staff on GWR when I worked in the rail sector. The first was on a train heading into Paddington on a day with exceptionally wintery weather and heavy snow. With the train at a standstill a few miles out, the guard announced, "Apologies for the delay folks, this is due to exceptionally heavy snow ahead at North Pole"

The second was on the berks and Hants line where somewhere near Pewsey was a low bridge that rail staff nicknamed as "chocolate poodle", apparently so named because of a house next to the bridge where an exceptionally friendly brown poodle resided. This was also adjacent to an access point so when night rail workers reported there, the poodle would be in the garden getting fuss and treats through the fence from the waiting workers.

One day there was a bridge strike at this location and a train has being held until a bridge inspector arrived. A rookie young guard was informed of the reason by the driver and made the announcement, "hello everyone and apologies for the delay, this is due to a bridge bash ahead at the chocolate poodle". Neither of which made any sense whatsoever to any passenger!

 

[LickeyIncliner]

“Please ignore the last automated announcement, I think the train’s got lost.”

On board 9M54 a few minutes ago, after the automated announcement said we were approaching New Street. We're on a mystery tour of the Black Country, just passing Perry Barr, trying to get round a broken-down train between Soho and New Street. (Credit to all concerned for arranging the diversion rather than leaving us sitting in a queue.)

Update: spoke too soon. Now skipping New Street and going directly to International. So much for my connection...

 

[Black Watch]

He probably lived there!

Oh, I'm sure he did.

 

[RichardAsh1981]

Minding my own business on the platform at Runcorn East, probably about 15 years ago, when I heard: "Oi! Mate! Do you know when the next train's due?!"

Nothing especially unusual about that, except that the questioner was leaning out of the signal box!

I was recently waiting for my train at Capenhurst (unstaffed), having watched it move from on time to late to "delayed" on the board, when the station PA announced "would any member of staff or public please contact us using the help point." A passenger duly did, and was asked the question "I know this seems an odd question, but is there a train there?" It transpired that a trespasser has been spotted on the line at Bache (the previous station) and an emergency traction isolation taken, and control were unclear where the unit in transit between Bache and Capenhurst had come to rest.

Picture shows the departure board with the 19:09 on time, but the time now is 19:10 (and no train).

 

[py_megapixel]

I was recently waiting for my train at Capenhurst (unstaffed), having watched it move from on time to late to "delayed" on the board, when the station PA announced "would any member of staff or public please contact us using the help point." A passenger duly did, and was asked the question "I know this seems an odd question, but is there a train there?" It transpired that a trespasser has been spotted on the line at Bache (the previous station) and an emergency traction isolation taken, and control were unclear where the unit in transit between Bache and Capenhurst had come to rest.

Picture shows the departure board with the 19:09 on time, but the time now is 19:10 (and no train).

Does anyone happen to have any insight into where that announcement would have come from? It's curious to me as an outsider that someone who was in a position of needing to know the position of a train could make platform announcements and answer the help point, but apparently had no access to the station CCTV, nor contact with the driver of the affected train!

 

[RichardAsh1981]

Does anyone happen to have any insight into where that announcement would have come from? It's curious to me as an outsider that someone who was in a position of needing to know the position of a train could make platform announcements and answer the help point, but apparently had no access to the station CCTV, nor contact with the driver of the affected train!

I'm fairly sure it was from Merseyrail control, as they informed us of the traction isolation, that police were at the scene but could not go trackside until Network Rail arrived, and we were in for a long wait. My best guess is that there was an issue with remote viewing the CCTV at Capenhurst from control, and this was an inventive workaround.

About a week earlier I had had "Would the train manager of the train just arrived at Bromborough please contact control" through the Bromborough station PA - TM was in the saloon and presumably he wasn't answering his phone.

 

[MattSGB]

While squeezed into the vestibule of a rush-hour 172, packed so tightly that you could lift both feet from the floor at the same time, the PIS announces "We're sorry, there will not be a catering trolley service today".

 

[Tyro]

One of the strangest announcements I've heard. A few years ago I was travelling on a train to Oxford, and the train stopped a little way short of the station. After a few minutes waiting the driver made an announcement:

"Apologies for the delay, we can't pull into the station as there's a train sitting at the platform waiting for its driver, and unfortunately I'm the driver they're waiting for."

 

[trainophile]

One of the strangest announcements I've heard. A few years ago I was travelling on a train to Oxford, and the train stopped a little way short of the station. After a few minutes waiting the driver made an announcement:

"Apologies for the delay, we can't pull into the station as there's a train sitting at the platform waiting for its driver, and unfortunately I'm the driver they're waiting for."

So how did they sort that one out?

 

[Tyro]

So how did they sort that one out

Sorry, I don't know what they did, the driver didn't say, but we were under way again in about 5 minutes or so, so they must have found somebody at the station who was able to move it.

 

[liamf656]

I remember a few years back a Crosscountry service was terminated short because someone's pet snake had escaped the carrier and went missing onboard! Police were called to help locate it, and I believe it ended up in the papers (and no doubt a subject of this forum). I'd have loved to have been the guard announcing the reasoning behind the disruption!

 

[enginedin]

I remember a few years back a Crosscountry service was terminated short because someone's pet snake had escaped the carrier and went missing onboard! Police were called to help locate it, and I believe it ended up in the papers (and no doubt a subject of this forum). I'd have loved to have been the guard announcing the reasoning behind the disruption!

probably a different incident, but this is pretty cute: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-66287434

 

[liamf656]

probably a different incident, but this is pretty cute: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-66287434

I was referring to one in the Gloucester area, so it must be a more regular occurance than I thought! Impressive

 

[EYFanatic]

"Please stand back at the edge of Platform 1 - a fast train is approaching and does not stop here" - station in question was Barton Upon Humber

 

[jammmmmsssssss]

Heard at Weymouth a few years back:- "Please stand back from the platform edge, the next train is not stopping here." (ECS actually)

I've heard that twice for Cambridge platform 6 (bay platform). Both of the times, it was an unscheduled XC ECS

 

[saismee]

I've heard that twice for Cambridge platform 6 (bay platform). Both of the times, it was an unscheduled XC ECS

Seems to only trigger at GA stations for  unscheduled ECS, and not scheduled ones.