Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Lewisham2221]

I basically agree, but find it’s often teenage girls (college age) who tend to close windows. I’ve been on the bus where a girl has been sitting at the rear of the bus and has walked down to near the front just to close one window which was open. As an ’older’ person myself (74) I like windows to be open.

That's just reminded me of another thing I'd ban...

Teenage girls spraying copious amounts of perfume/deodorant/body spray whilst travelling on public transport

 

[HullMichael]

The way that nowadays a trailer for next week's episode is called a "sneak peek". It makes it sound as if it's something dodgy you shouldn't be watching, or nobody else but you can see it. Why not call a trailer a trailer or nothing at all? At least "next time...." isn't too bad, but "sneak peek"? Geesh.

 

[styles]

(Predominantly older) people who almost habitually insist on closing the windows on the bus (or train), despite the weather conditions

I've been on a fair few buses which have had stickers telling passengers to keep windows closed as it helps their air con.

Here's an example from Trentbarton:


(image caption: sticker on a bus fold-down window which reads, "Please do not open this window. Air conditioning only works when the windows are closed.")

 

[dangie]

I've been on a fair few buses which have had stickers telling passengers to keep windows closed as it helps their air con.

I think I can safely say the buses belonging to my local bus company Chaserider, definitely do not have air conditioning. With all the bangs, rattles & squeaks it's a miracle they make it from AtoB.

 

[Falcon1200]

People of any age who habitually insist on opening the windows on the bus or train when it's a perfectly comfortable temperature already.

Especially when the opened window immediately above them does not give them a draught, the howling gale is inflicted on those sat behind them!

 

[TheTTTEGeek]

I'd ban the new (to me, at least) feature on YouTube's mobile app which, after an advert has played, displays a box advertising the same product/service/whatever over the video which then has to be dismissed by the user. I think I may have complained on here before about YouTube adverts though so I'll also add me moaning onto my list of things I'd ban!

-Peter

What i did was download firefox as Web Browser & Ublock Origin. With Ublock Origin it can me customized what & when to block (or at the very least it used to as i haven't needed to customize it in a while)

 

[pokemonsuper9]

What i did was download firefox as Web Browser & Ublock Origin. With Ublock Origin it can me customized what & when to block (or at the very least it used to as i haven't needed to customize it in a while)

I would also recomend SponsorBlock and Control Pannel for Youtube, both of those need a bit more configuration to get what you want out of it, but it appears if you have "Hide Sponsored Videos and Promos" ticked, YouTube blocks video playback (only applies on the desktop version).

 

[Welly]

I don't approve of graffiti or other unauthorised signs, but one amused me. By the operating button of a Hand Dryer was written: "Press here for a ten second speech from Keir Starmer".

In the interests of balance, I should add that other politicians' names are available should hot air be your thing.

That reminds me of a 1980s comedy sketch where a guy uses a hot air hand dryer and hears a speech by Maggie Thatcher!

 

[Bald Rick]

That's just reminded me of another thing I'd ban...

Teenage girls spraying copious amounts of perfume/deodorant/body spray whilst travelling on public transport

In that vein, women in their mid-20s, applying make up to their cleavage on the morning commute. One didn’t know where to look.

 

[Purple Train]

That's just reminded me of another thing I'd ban...

Teenage girls spraying copious amounts of perfume/deodorant/body spray whilst travelling on public transport

Not just teenage girls... I'm so tired of this now that my usual approach is to feign a dramatic coughing fit (quite convincing, if I say so myself - thanks asthma) until they get the hint. Also works on smokers. Quite handy as, of the two friends I occasionally get the train home with, one frequently uses these aerosols, and one is a smoker*!

*Not on the train, obviously, before anyone points this out.

 

[dangie]

The sound of other people eating (crunching) apples……

…. Just like the wife is now…….

 

[DM352]

Built in obsolescence with iPhones where it works well for years and then doesn't after many updates, and the battery becomes a portable stove when the phone is in use (i.e. overheating). That is before it is no longer to be supported. Currently this is my iPhone XS!

 

[Welly]

Built in obsolescence with iPhones where it works well for years and then doesn't after many updates, and the battery becomes a portable stove when the phone is in use (i.e. overheating). That is before it is no longer to be supported. Currently this is my iPhone XS!

Don't buy another iPhone - they are not worth it!

 

[D6130]

Don't buy another iPhone - they are not worth it!

Get a Fair phone from the Phone Co-op. Ethically-made from environmentally-friendly materials by a fairtrade cooperative and - most importantly - no built-in obsolescence. If it becomes defective you can order spare parts from the manufacturer and fit them yourself.

 

[dangie]

Pub chains which advertise their ‘fantastic new menu’.
No it isn’t. It’s basically the same menu as before with meals rearranged in a different order… With a higher price…!!

 

[TheTTTEGeek]

Don't buy another iPhone - they are not worth it!

Also they suckered up to Donald trump recently with an award where the glass will be made in America & the base is 24karat gold bar

 

[scarby]

Messaging systems, such as to companies, hotels and so on, where when writing a message you hit "return" to start a new paragraph.
What happens instead is that it sends the unfinished message.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

Messaging systems, such as to companies, hotels and so on, where when writing a message you hit "return" to start a new paragraph.
What happens instead is that it sends the unfinished message.

Agreed; while you can use shift / return to get round that - it's certainly not instinctive since normal writing uses the return key for the purpose.

 

[gg1]

Messaging systems, such as to companies, hotels and so on, where when writing a message you hit "return" to start a new paragraph.
What happens instead is that it sends the unfinished message.

That's one of my pet hates too, the messaging function in MS Teams is the same

 

[Foxhunter]

Pub chains which advertise their ‘fantastic new menu’.
No it isn’t. It’s basically the same menu as before with meals rearranged in a different order… With a higher price…!!

And its supermarket equivalent where 'Improved Recipe' invariably means 'we've used cheaper ingredients that taste worse'. (Particularly applies to soups).

 

[Welly]

And its supermarket equivalent where 'Improved Recipe' invariably means 'we've used cheaper ingredients that taste worse'. (Particularly applies to soups).

Improved here meaning improved cost control and profit margin.

 

[philjo]

Marks and Spencer had “new improved fit” stickers on some of their shirts a few years ago. Anything with those stickers did not fit me at all despite being supposedly the same size as ones that did fit !

 

[DM352]

When a takeover happens at a company and the outgoing/transitional management reassure staff the new company have "deep pockets" so nothing to worry about.

 

[dangie]

Whenever I read a news report and see the words ‘…. experts say….’

I rarely believe any of it. Usually just a bit of made up journalism for effect. If an ‘expert’ has said it, name the expert.

 

[styles]

When a takeover happens at a company and the outgoing/transitional management reassure staff the new company have "deep pockets" so nothing to worry about.

Depending on the type of company and the funding, a lot of funders contractually require the outgoing CEO/MD/owner (as appropriate) to stay on, e.g. for 2 years. I find the optimism from outgoing senior management who remain lasts around that amount of time, then they jump ship.

I worked for a company which got taken over by a very large multinational. A few weeks after the papers were signed, a load of stuff came out about their ethics which was.. awful. Think bribing dictators in Middle Eastern countries sort of ethics. Our old company decided to, ahem, hang fire on adopting the multinational's corporate identity until a new ethics regime had been put in place, senior management and the board at the new owning company had been flushed out, and things had mostly blown over. Once that happened, our senior management started to drift off into other companies. A few years later I caught up with one of the people I used to work with at the company and he said our entire division had been outsourced.

 

[Siimo]

I would also recomend SponsorBlock and Control Pannel for Youtube, both of those need a bit more configuration to get what you want out of it, but it appears if you have "Hide Sponsored Videos and Promos" ticked, YouTube blocks video playback (only applies on the desktop version).

I have all the adblocks installed and thus have a tolerable internet browsing experience, however this didn't prevent Youtube from displaying a popup below the video encouraging me to 'shop for products featured in this video'
The video in question was about Burma in WW2!

 

[Harpo]

- Cost saving/profit increasing measures dressed up as bleeding heart environmentalism, e.g. hotel notices about washing towels.

- ‘Thank you for having me’, at the start of every interview.

- ‘Can I get……’

 

[Calthrop]

- ‘Can I get……’

Repeating something which I think I've said before on this thread; but -- while what annoys us, annoys us; and it's not about rational proof, etc. -- I can't get very hot under the collar about the "Can I get..." expression. It's a new and widespread colloquialism; but still, in my perception, an attempt at civil and friendly interaction; even if seeming uncouth to those more used to "please could I have", etc. I feel that "Can I get..." is a lot better than, for example, "give me [whatever], mother******; and right now; or I'll [re-arrange you anatomically, in various painful ways]". Of course, different strokes for different folks...

 

[Mr. SW]

"Penned" as in "The Author penned a book.". No. You Write a book. You Pen sheep and cattle on a farm.

 

[Ostrich]

Cooking instructions etc. on the back of supermarket packets and cartons. So much information is crammed onto them in such small print, you can hardly read them.
I know they have to do it, but some of Aldi's product descriptions read like "War and Peace"!