unprofessional onboard announcements

[bramling]

Back in the late days of ICEC and GNER I remember conductors would often do birthday annexments, which was a nice thing for them to so.

In 2019, when I was on the Tyne and Wear Metro, a whole bunch of unruly teenage yobs got on at Millfield station. Before departing, the driver over the Public Address said along the lines “Ladies and Gettleman, have your tickets and passes ready as there are ticket inspectors boarding at the next station [University}). Said yobs scarpered. As we set off, he said over the PA “That resolved that issue”. Of course there were no ticket inspectors at University. Was it unprofessional? Possibly, was it good? Absolutely.

There was a driver on the Central Line who used to do similar, especially at Stratford. Something along the lines of “the next station will be Stratford, please note there is a joint revenue and police operation taking place at Stratford station today. Revenue inspectors will be present on the platforms and may board this train when we arrive to check ticket and travel documentation, and there are also police officers operating metal detectors and body scanners in various areas of the station.“

Some extremely worried faces indeed…

 

[Uncle Buck]

That's another example of humour that's probably best avoided because of the appearance of political bias. Some people will find that remark funny, others will regard it as wrong - with people's reactions likely strongly correlated with their political views.

Even if the guard’s views align with one’s own, though, the fact that the remark will obviously cause others of different views to be uncomfortable means that it will still annoy many on the train.

There is absolutely no need for anyone to make a joke/comment like this or some others quoted here. It is sheer self-indulgence and attention-seeking on the part of many people who should be trying to be professional. Nobody is saying be humourless drones, just read the room and behave with the customer’s interest in mind.

 

[TheManBehind]

That's another example of humour that's probably best avoided because of the appearance of political bias. Some people will find that remark funny, others will regard it as wrong - with people's reactions likely strongly correlated with their political views.

Brexit train anyone?

 

[forrest]

That's quite an early train.
Been on a few night trains and buses, they are quite civilised tbh

Or those God-awful northern train toilets "please don't flush tissues, clothes, vapes, hopes and dreams, goldfish" it was - and i'm being generous here - very slightly amusing the first time I saw it...

 

[Steddenm]

Or those God-awful northern train toilets "please don't flush tissues, clothes, vapes, hopes and dreams, goldfish" it was - and i'm being generous here - very slightly amusing the first time I saw it...

Think Virgin Trains started that years ago.

 

[forrest]

Think Virgin Trains started that years ago.

You're right, it may have been Virgin I saw it on first. Seems to have been adopted by all the TOCs now.

 

[CaptainHaddock]

Or those God-awful northern train toilets "please don't flush tissues, clothes, vapes, hopes and dreams, goldfish" it was - and i'm being generous here - very slightly amusing the first time I saw it...

Exactly. A joke is only funny once; repeat it over and over again and it soon becomes irritating at best. As for train crew making unprofessional announcements, I'm with the OP; if you want to tell jokes in public become a stand up comedian. The only information passengers need is where the train's calling at and, in the event of disruption, a reason and estimated length of delay.

 

[Sad Sprinter]

Best one I heard was so simple:

“We’re now approaching Stratford where this train terminates. Thank you for travelling on the Jubilee Line - the best line.”

 

[Skiddaw]

A doff of the cap to the Scotrail guard who announced something along the lines of "This is the 2335 Scotrail service to Perth. Please have your tickets, passes, and railcards ready. Alcohol is strictly prohibited on this service... so make sure you aw hide your bevvy under the table, so I cannae see it when I come round to dae the ticket check"

That's priceless!

 

[dk1]

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Wizards and Witches, we are now arriving at Watford Junction where you can change for Harry Potter World"

I'm a miserable middle aged git but that announcement always made me chuckle.

Can you believe announcements are not supposed to start with ‘ladies & gentlemen’ at my TOC

Of course I totally ignored that and continued announcing as I always have done.

 

[bramling]

Can you believe announcements are not supposed to start with ‘ladies & gentlemen’ at my TOC

Of course I totally ignored that and continued announcing as I always have done.

An alternative solution to that issue is no announcements - except in case of essential information or emergency, in which case commencing with “your attention please”. Has the added bonus of saving wear and tear on both the equipment and the tips of the fingers.

 

[styles]

An alternative solution to that issue is no announcements - except in case of essential information or emergency, in which case commencing with “your attention please”. Has the added bonus of saving wear and tear on both the equipment and the tips of the fingers.

I'm always in two minds about this.

London City Airport is probably my favourite UK airport. Not just because people using it tend to know the security routine etc and I'm sure I've been from black cab to departure gate in under 8 minutes before now; but also because it's a 'silent' airport, meaning they don't do regular passenger announcements.

On the flip side, there's accessibility. No doubt at LCY they have means of assisting blind passengers, and I imagine most blind passengers would require some assistance their first couple of times visiting a specific airport for the first time.

But on a train with multiple stops, getting status updates about which station is being approached, how far away, delays, etc can be important. There's mobile apps of course, but if it's somewhere with poor mobile signal, perhaps not much use.

So in that respect I do think service announcements should be retained. But I would be happy to see the back of announcements about what sandwiches are available at the cafe or reminders to read safety posters (which I doubt anybody does solely on the basis of an announcement about it), etc.

 

[TheManBehind]

Can you believe announcements are not supposed to start with ‘ladies & gentlemen’ at my TOC

Of course I totally ignored that and continued announcing as I always have done.

I mean, not starting with L&G is a thing in lots of places now. Dutch and German railways seem to go with "Dear Travellers" or variations thereof. It's not exactly a big deal. Hills to die on and all that.

 

[trainophile]

Sadly quite a few "gentlemen" (and some "ladies") don't fit the traditional profile these days! Had a group of three feral lads in my coach yesterday afternoon, one in particular kept shouting abusive words at the top of his voice. His companions loudly implied that he was high on something or other, which is still no excuse for his appalling behaviour. Never a guard around when you need one! It was turning into a 61016 job when they suddenly got off thank goodness.

 

[dk1]

I mean, not starting with L&G is a thing in lots of places now. Dutch and German railways seem to go with "Dear Travellers" or variations thereof. It's not exactly a big deal. Hills to die on and all that.

Sara Cox starts her radio 2 show each evening with “ladies gentlemen boy and girls and everything in between” and has done for a few years now. Sound okay and lovely and lighthearted to me.

 

[pnepaul]

I'm not sure where this fits in the discussion:
Today, on my journey from Preston to Carlisle on the 12.53 Avanti, we were treated to a travelog (?) along the Lune Valley, we were invited to admire Low Gill viaduct, the Howgill Fells, and the "famous" heart-shaped copse on one of the fell sides. I did see one or two looking and taking photos.

 

[Lockwood]

Never a guard around when you need one! It was turning into a 61016 job when they suddenly got off thank goodness.

So, for all the remarks about that announcement being pointless, you saw something that did not look right, couldn't speak to a member of staff, so considered texting British Transport Police on 61016 so that they could sort it...

 

[Russel]

So, for all the remarks about that announcement being pointless, you saw something that did not look right, couldn't speak to a member of staff, so considered texting British Transport Police on 61016 so that they could sort it...

Bit of a bold assumption.

 

[43066]

Bit of a bold assumption.

How many times does the purpose of 61016 need to be explained?

 

[DynamicSpirit]

I mean, not starting with L&G is a thing in lots of places now. Dutch and German railways seem to go with "Dear Travellers" or variations thereof. It's not exactly a big deal. Hills to die on and all that.

Isn't the hills to die on thing equally true of the entire thread (which we are all nevertheless participating in)

 

[styles]

Isn't the hills to die on thing equally true of the entire thread (which we are all nevertheless participating in)

Perhaps the Hope Valley Northern guards could put an announcement out showing appropriate hills to die on, e.g. Lose Hill.

 

[Merle Haggard]

One of mates worked on Thames Trains years ago and was officially admonished for saying 'This train terminates at ....'. It's a useful short description to explain the situation - alternatives are either ambiguous or verbose - but some find the word 'terminate' deeply offensive, and accordingly complained.

 

[LowLevel]

One of mates worked on Thames Trains years ago and was officially admonished for saying 'This train terminates at ....'. It's a useful short description to explain the situation - alternatives are either ambiguous or verbose - but some find the word 'terminate' deeply offensive, and accordingly complained.

I used to use terminates. To keep myself from going insane I sometimes use "we are now arriving at x, the final stop".

Works well even though I'm a traditionalist at heart

 

[AdamWW]

I used to use terminates. To keep myself from going insane I sometimes use "we are now arriving at x, the final stop".

Works well even though I'm a traditionalist at heart

Something I don't understand is the policy of doing a full length (don't forget your stuff etc.) announcement at the final stop but not intermediate ones on a branch line.

Fine if going between major stations when the majority of passengers might be leaving at the last stop, but pretty ridiculous when by the last stop almost everyone has already got off.

 

[TUC]

I mean, not starting with L&G is a thing in lots of places now. Dutch and German railways seem to go with "Dear Travellers" or variations thereof. It's not exactly a big deal. Hills to die on and all that.

Has anyone asked a representative sample of the majority of passengers what their views are on this, or indeed of other announcements, rather than the opinions of special interest groups?

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 24 Jul 2025 ==

An alternative solution to that issue is no announcements - except in case of essential information or emergency, in which case commencing with “your attention please”. Has the added bonus of saving wear and tear on both the equipment and the tips of the fingers.

Essential information does, however, include announcing every station before and at arrival. That's basic customer care.

 

[AdamWW]

Has anyone asked a representative sample of the majority of passengers what their views are on this, or indeed of other announcements, rather than the opinions of special interest groups?

My pet peeve is hearing "Can I have your attention please" followed by an announcement that does not need any of my attention reminding me for the nth time that CCTV is in use or that if I see it and say it someone might sort it.

Personally I'd like a standardised chime that indicates what's about to follow relates to some deviation from normal.
Then on a journey I'm famiiar with I can just let the announcements wash over me and know I'm not going to miss an important one telling me that the train is going to skip stops.
I know I shouldn't tune out announcements but I find it hard not to given the constant barrage of stuff I don't need to hear (some of which does need to be there and some in my view doesn't)

 

[Pyewipecarshed]

I do get a little tired of the "guard thinks they're a DJ" quips. I've only known one to whom that applied and that's because he was a DJ, on his days off!

Some TOCs encourage their onboard staff to make announcements augmenting the automatic announcer. This is because some passengers feel reassured when they hear an actual human voice, and also because people are more likely to listen to a "different" voice.
Other TOCs go a stage further and require guards/conductors/TMs to make announcements, complete with a word in the office if they fail to do so.

Similarly some TOCs like staff to stick largely to a script/guideline (not many use an actual script any more as the resulting announcements tend to sound forced and robotic), whilst others actively encourage adding humour and ad-libbing if the staff member feels comfortable doing so.

90% of passengers have no particular opinion regarding the announcements. Of the rest 5% will find them annoying/unnecessary/unprofessional etc. and will hasten to their keyboard and possibly this very thread!
But the other 5% will find them helpful/funny/useful and will appreciate the human touch.

It really is impossible to please everyone!

 

[forrest]

Exactly. A joke is only funny once; repeat it over and over again and it soon becomes irritating at best. As for train crew making unprofessional announcements, I'm with the OP; if you want to tell jokes in public become a stand up comedian. The only information passengers need is where the train's calling at and, in the event of disruption, a reason and estimated length of delay

Totally agree.

I want to hear from the staff as little as possible to be honest. "next stop, X, be careful of Y" is perfectly apt.


Circumstantial jokes when tensions may be running high are good, though. I was delayed for 7 hours on train from Liverpool to London once, and whilst we were getting complentary food/water the guard & driver were cracking a few jokes over the intercom and it definitely helped ease the tension. A joke an hour when it's blisteringly hot and you're stuck on the train for 7 hours without a cigarette (back when I smoked) was well received.

I don't expect to hear that when I'm on a standard journey, however.

 

[bramling]

I do get a little tired of the "guard thinks they're a DJ" quips. I've only known one to whom that applied and that's because he was a DJ, on his days off!

Some TOCs encourage their onboard staff to make announcements augmenting the automatic announcer. This is because some passengers feel reassured when they hear an actual human voice, and also because people are more likely to listen to a "different" voice.

And some passengers find excessive announcements damned annoying if they are trying to get on with work, or perhaps have had a stressful day at work and just wish to chill out and relax.

I see no reason just to repeat what an auto-announcer has just said. Fine if a guard wants to cut off the announcer and make the announcement themselves, but why on earth would anyone just want to duplicate a message? In facts, many passengers will probably form the view “what is the point of paying a member of staff just to repeat messages”.

I’m quite happy to let auto announcers do it. Someone like Julie Berry is a professional, she has extensive experience of exactly this sort of thing, and indeed is paid for her work. Let her do the voice stuff, and let the train driver drive the train which is their specialism, not trying to be some kind of entertainer or whatever.

There’s also nothing more annoying than some happy clappy idiot spouting rubbish during disruption, which is the time people actually need decent information. Just because they can crack a joke doesn’t mean they have any clue when it comes to providing useful information.

 

[TUC]

And some passengers find excessive announcements damned annoying if they are trying to get on with work, or perhaps have had a stressful day at work and just wish to chill out and relax.

I see no reason just to repeat what an auto-announcer has just said. Fine if a guard wants to cut off the announcer and make the announcement themselves, but why on earth would anyone just want to duplicate a message? In facts, many passengers will probably form the view “what is the point of paying a member of staff just to repeat messages”.

I’m quite happy to let auto announcers do it. Someone like Julie Berry is a professional, she has extensive experience of exactly this sort of thing, and indeed is paid for her work. Let her do the voice stuff, and let the train driver drive the train which is their specialism, not trying to be some kind of entertainer or whatever.

I think you miss the psychological point that manual announcements with different intonations and ways of expressing a message catch people's attention more effectively than auto-announcements.

Like many people, I switch off during auto-announcements. It's not just then being over-full of content. It's the style of presentation that is ineffective.

Manual announcements are also reassuring and build goodwill. They confirm that a human being is actually attending to the subject in hand.