Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[birchesgreen]

How would he know ?

It would taste better.

 

[nlogax]

It would taste better.

I'm obviously going to need to deploy a better curse.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

I'm obviously going to need to deploy a better curse.

There's always the old one about the fleas of a thousand camels...?

 

[nlogax]

There's always the old one about the fleas of a thousand camels...?

Actual bedbugs are on their way to London likely any day now. Will that count?

 

[Peter Mugridge]

Actual bedbugs are on their way to London likely any day now. Will that count?

They've been in the UK for many years - I'd stick to the flea curse!

 

[Techniquest]

Often compounded by people who think it's OK to park on the remaining unblocked part of the pavement.

Oh yes, that sort of thing really annoys me!

Most irritating is those who cut the lower part of a hedge, but don’t cut the upper part of it or the bushes behind it properly, if at all. People like me who walk with their heads down all too often find their hats removed by an overhanging branch or a bramble scratching across their cheek.

Oof yes, another irritance of careless owners!

I'd add more, but to do so would take up all of my break and more

 

[birchesgreen]

I'm obviously going to need to deploy a better curse.

"May an onion fall on your head at an awkward moment"

 

[Farigiraf]

Big company twitter/X accounts. Especially when they should be fixing their services instead. (This applied in 2021 too)

Image shows a tweet from Avanti West Coast just saying "TRAINS"

 

[daveo]

It would taste better.

It has been said that the best way to get nutrition from a Pot Noodle is to throw away the contents and eat the pot.

 

[dgl]

Pot Noodle "you can make it", yes I could but as a company called Nissin exists I think not!

 

[Purple Train]

I'm obviously going to need to deploy a better curse.

My usual one is, "May you forever encounter Lego bricks in your socks" - that is pain indeed!

 

[61653 HTAFC]

My usual one is, "May you forever encounter Lego bricks in your socks" - that is pain indeed!

Can I inflict that curse on Northern Powergrid? Just spent ages going through options on their power cut reporting helpline, listening to them tell me all the other ways I can contact them (if only there wasn't a power cut!), and for a robot to claim they fixed the power cut hours ago (if they did, I wouldn't be bl***y ringing them would I?), for a real human to finally answer... only for her to be immediately interrupted by a robot thanking me for calling them and automatically hanging up!

 

[Lucan]

.... a real human to finally answer... only for her to be immediately interrupted by a robot thanking me for calling them and automatically hanging up!

It is quite likely she pressed a button to do that. Call centre people have got very forward about cutting you off, either if your problem is off their script* or if they detect any sign of exasperation (let alone rudeness by the customer). I had one hang up on me yesterday after she asked me for my address, which I gave in full, and then asked me for the first line of my address : I replied perfectly calmly "As I just said it's ... " CLICK

* Problems on their script, such as they are, will be covered on their website so I would not be ringing up if mine was.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

It is quite likely she pressed a button to do that. Call centre people have got very forward about cutting you off, either if your problem is off their script* or if they detect any sign of exasperation (let alone rudeness by the customer). I had one hang up on me yesterday after she asked me for my address, which I gave in full, and then asked me for the first line of my address : I replied perfectly calmly "As I just said it's ... " CLICK

* Problems on their script, such as they are, will be covered on their website so I would not be ringing up if mine was.

I didn't even have chance to be rude, she asked my name and I was two syllables in when the pre-recorded "Thank you for calling" message kicked in. It seemed more like a bug in their system that nobody knows or cares enough about to fix.

Even if I had been a little short with her, when you work in a department dealing with emergencies you should expect people calling to be stressed at the very least.

 

[dangie]

This may be somewhat controversial.
Vegetarians.

Not vegetarians as such, everyone has the right to be a vegetarian (or vegan) if they so wish. I’ve absolutely no problem with that.

Problem is when you go out for a pub meal with a vegetarian. Finding somewhere to go.

For me a good pub meal night out with friends consists of nice pub, good food, good choice of beers. Around us we have a few pubs which fulfill those criteria. But there’s a problem. They are often short on vegetarian meal options so we have to give them a miss. So we tend to end up at the same establishments.

It may be a nice pub. It may serve decent food. But it‘s beer usually consists of John Smith’s or Carling……

 

[cb a1]

This may be somewhat controversial.
Vegetarians.

Not vegetarians as such, everyone has the right to be a vegetarian (or vegan) if they so wish. I’ve absolutely no problem with that.

Problem is when you go out for a pub meal with a vegetarian. Finding somewhere to go.

For me a good pub meal night out with friends consists of nice pub, good food, good choice of beers. Around us we have a few pubs which fulfill those criteria. But there’s a problem. They are often short on vegetarian meal options so we have to give them a miss. So we tend to end up at the same establishments.

It may be a nice pub. It may serve decent food. But it‘s beer usually consists of John Smith’s or Carling……

As a vegetarian and beer lover, my solution to this would be to find myself something to eat before meeting you. Quality of beer is far more important to me than catering to my dietary needs

 

[dangie]

Whereas this doesn’t really affect me, it irritates that some totally disregard road signs thinking that they are either wrong or more likely don’t apply to them.

ROAD CLOSED - FLOOD

Rugeley Trent Valley railway station.
Those who know this station will know the road by the station dips under the railway bridge. The road is in a hollow, next to he River Trent and is very prone to flooding. It gets pretty deep. The footpath is raised approx 18”/2feet above the road and this is often underwater as well.

As you can guess from the recent rainfall the road is well flooded. There is (or was) a car marooned. There are signs off the nearby roundabout saying ‘ROAD CLOSED - FLOOD’

Does this stop drivers? No….

On my walk this morning I spent a few minutes watching cars manoeuvring around the sign, drive towards the bridge only to have to 3-point turn and drive back.

It would be amusing if it wasn’t so bloody stupid.

 

[dangie]

Any television programme which contains the word ‘Celebrity’ in its title.

 

[DelW]

Whereas this doesn’t really affect me, it irritates that some totally disregard road signs thinking that they are either wrong or more likely don’t apply to them.

ROAD CLOSED - FLOOD

Rugeley Trent Valley railway station.
Those who know this station will know the road by the station dips under the railway bridge. The road is in a hollow, next to he River Trent and is very prone to flooding. It gets pretty deep. The footpath is raised approx 18”/2feet above the road and this is often underwater as well.

As you can guess from the recent rainfall the road is well flooded. There is (or was) a car marooned. There are signs off the nearby roundabout saying ‘ROAD CLOSED - FLOOD’

Does this stop drivers? No….

On my walk this morning I spent a few minutes watching cars manoeuvring around the sign, drive towards the bridge only to have to 3-point turn and drive back.

It would be amusing if it wasn’t so bloody stupid.

This may be because those drivers have experienced such signage being left in place long after it has ceased to be appropriate...

Around a year ago, a main road near me was flooded one morning (also under a railway bridge as it happens). "Road Closed" signs were placed on the approaches.
By lunchtime, enough water had drained away that half the width of the road was fairly dry, and drivers starting squeezing past in alternate directions on the dry side. By the end of the day, it was down to a long puddle in the low side gutter.

But the signs stayed in place for another couple of days. It affected me because my local bus route goes under the bridge, and diverting around it turned a one mile journey into a four mile one, which also wrecked the timetable. On the second day, I said to one of the bus drivers that I'd walked under the bridge earlier that day and there was no water left. He said that regardless of that, their company instructions were that they must not drive past such signs, so the diversions would continue until they were cleared.

In other places I've seen them left at the roadside for longer than that, with no vestige of the original problem left.

 

[Techniquest]

Any television programme which contains the word ‘Celebrity’ in its title.

I'm inclined to agree, as one of my favourite programmes from the BBC has been ruined in that fashion. Race Across The World was excellent, and while the first season (out of 3) is still my favourite the other two were still good. With different contenders the other seasons may have been even better, that kind of nit-picking.

Even so, I started watching Celebrity Race Across The World recently, the fourth season. While it has had its moments so far, it has been ruined by having celebrities take part. That woman from All Saints in particular gets on my nerves.

So much so I haven't continued watching the fourth season yet, and to be honest I don't know if I will. It is most likely that I will, but I'm certainly not rushing to as I have done with previous seasons.

 

[AM9]

I'm inclined to agree, as one of my favourite programmes from the BBC has been ruined in that fashion. Race Across The World was excellent, and while the first season (out of 3) is still my favourite the other two were still good. With different contenders the other seasons may have been even better, that kind of nit-picking.

Even so, I started watching Celebrity Race Across The World recently, the fourth season. While it has had its moments so far, it has been ruined by having celebrities take part. That woman from All Saints in particular gets on my nerves.

So much so I haven't continued watching the fourth season yet, and to be honest I don't know if I will. It is most likely that I will, but I'm certainly not rushing to as I have done with previous seasons.

I understand your view on the focus on the 'celebrities' whom you might find irritating, but there is a human interest in their interpersonal relationships with their partners that is interesting. Without spoiling the plot should you decide to watch the rest of the episodes, all four of the couples have their epiphany moments whilst being forced to communicate with their partners outside of the celebrity bubble that is the rest of their lives.
As for the rest of this series, I found it interesting just what public transport services that there are in what to me are remote areas of Europe. The only two checkpoints that I have visited were the origin (Marrakech) and the final destination (Tromso). Both fascinating in their own right. If you can deal with the personalities that are competing, I recommend watching the whole thing.

 

[dangie]

This may be because those drivers have experienced such signage being left in place long after it has ceased to be appropriate..

Agreed this is often true, but certainly not in this case. Many roads were flooded, fields were under water, River Trent burst it banks, the road in question is often flooded, television weather reports were predicting more to come etc.
Unfortunately whatever you do you can’t protect idiots from themselves.

 

[32475]

Any television programme which contains the word ‘Celebrity’ in its title.

I agree totally but since the chance of me recognising any of the so called celebrities in the first place I’ll give that series a chance (I’ve recorded but not watched it yet).
‘Pilgrimage’ is another series which involves celebrities. Some of the characters come across as surprisingly humble outside of their screen persona however a year or two ago it featured Laurence Llewelyn Bowen and for me the series became unwatchable.

 

[Richard Scott]

I agree totally but since the chance of me recognising any of the so called celebrities in the first place I’ll give that series a chance (I’ve recorded but not watched it yet).
‘Pilgrimage’ is another series which involves celebrities. Some of the characters come across as surprisingly humble outside of their screen persona however a year or two ago it featured Laurence Llewelyn Bowen and for me the series became unwatchable.

Think most of these should use phrase 'Has been' not 'Celebrity'.

 

[Purple Train]

This may be because those drivers have experienced such signage being left in place long after it has ceased to be appropriate...

Around a year ago, a main road near me was flooded one morning (also under a railway bridge as it happens). "Road Closed" signs were placed on the approaches.
By lunchtime, enough water had drained away that half the width of the road was fairly dry, and drivers starting squeezing past in alternate directions on the dry side. By the end of the day, it was down to a long puddle in the low side gutter.

But the signs stayed in place for another couple of days. It affected me because my local bus route goes under the bridge, and diverting around it turned a one mile journey into a four mile one, which also wrecked the timetable. On the second day, I said to one of the bus drivers that I'd walked under the bridge earlier that day and there was no water left. He said that regardless of that, their company instructions were that they must not drive past such signs, so the diversions would continue until they were cleared.

In other places I've seen them left at the roadside for longer than that, with no vestige of the original problem left.

We had the same thing, only rather more stupid. "Flood" signs and temporary traffic lights under the bridge - on a dry, one-way street! (This was a couple of days after Babet when the flooding down here had cleared.)

 

[Techniquest]

I understand your view on the focus on the 'celebrities' whom you might find irritating, but there is a human interest in their interpersonal relationships with their partners that is interesting. Without spoiling the plot should you decide to watch the rest of the episodes, all four of the couples have their epiphany moments whilst being forced to communicate with their partners outside of the celebrity bubble that is the rest of their lives.
As for the rest of this series, I found it interesting just what public transport services that there are in what to me are remote areas of Europe. The only two checkpoints that I have visited were the origin (Marrakech) and the final destination (Tromso). Both fascinating in their own right. If you can deal with the personalities that are competing, I recommend watching the whole thing.

Thanks for not spoiling the remainder of the series I'll take your recommendation and load up iPlayer later.

Agreed though that the interpersonal relationships developing more as each season goes on makes the programme much more interesting.

I too liked the previous seasons for seeing what places were like, the places I'd never be able to afford to go to, how difficult it is to get to some of the places etc.

 

[AM9]

Thanks for not spoiling the remainder of the series I'll take your recommendation and load up iPlayer later.

Agreed though that the interpersonal relationships developing more as each season goes on makes the programme much more interesting.

I too liked the previous seasons for seeing what places were like, the places I'd never be able to afford to go to, how difficult it is to get to some of the places etc.

What really interested me was the speed that public transport around the Europen mainland offered. There's trains of course but Flixbus seemed really good. I knew nothing about their services and have only seen them mentioned here a couple of times, but they were offering genuine low cost fares for what seemed to be really useful long distance journeys.

 

[Techniquest]

What really interested me was the speed that public transport around the Europen mainland offered. There's trains of course but Flixbus seemed really good. I knew nothing about their services and have only seen them mentioned here a couple of times, but they were offering genuine low cost fares for what seemed to be really useful long distance journeys.

I haven't tried Flixbus, as National Express are my go-to for coaches. However I've seen a few videos on YouTube and they are a curiosity for me. One day I'll try them, and of course there will inevitably be a trip report covering that.

Not that I have much clue where they operate in the UK, but that is something I can easily research. I think there's routes like Manchester to Glasgow for example, which have the potential to be interesting.

Anyway, an item for the list:

People who use triple full stops at the end of a sentence, usually to indicate there's more to say or some such...

...however they don't normally do so and it's very annoying! It makes one want to reach through the screen and slap them with a wet fish!

 

[D6130]

People who use triple full stops at the end of a sentence, usually to indicate there's more to say or some such...

...however they don't normally do so and it's very annoying! It makes one want to reach through the screen and slap them with a wet fish!

What about people like me who use four full stops to indicate a pause in a sentence....followed by a related question or a related statement?

 

[dangie]

People who use triple full stops at the end of a sentence, usually to indicate there's more to say or some such.

Well if nothing else it shows you've been reading my posts...