Butts
Veteran Member
Are you an actually an RPI? If you are, I'm surprised you've said what you have.
Firstly, do you honestly not believe there's a reason why most Guard don't do tickets on Friday and Saturday nights beyond 'not giving a ****'? What happens when the lone Guard inevitably comes across the first drunk or 'Gangsta', or group of the aforementioned, who won't pay? They'll either just take the verbal/physical abuse while they wait for the Police, or have to go to the back cab and let the network ground to a halt while they wait for the police, who won't turn up (either BTP or Local) because current resources can't even cope with the current situation. If your 'Guard at all hours' system came about, no suburban trains would move on a Friday or Saturday night.
As Flamingo has pointed out, there is little incentive to do tickets at the best of times in most TOCs nowadays, let alone on Friday or Saturday nights. Those who delay trains are spoken too by management, not those who don't do loads of tickets. Those who get in conflict are given little sympathy at best and blamed for the trouble at worst, whether guilty or not. Fare evaders can't be touched, let alone thrown off the using the reasonable force the byelaws allow. Those who take it upon themselves to deal with fare evaders in such a way face the sack, even if the Guard's actions are commended by the BTP.
I also take issue with your "a lot of guards are simply button pushers who don't patrol the train" comment. If the recent jailing of the Guard in Liverpool has proven anything it is that the role certainly isn't just 'button pushing', even when the Guard is just working from the back cab doing their core job, the only job that TOC managers really seem to care about (rightly IMO), ensuring the safe and punctual running of the train.
So in conclusion, though you might be disgruntled by suburban Guards not getting themselves knocked out in the 2 or 3 minutes between stations on Friday or Saturday nights, most TOCs seemingly don't agree that they're doing much wrong. Also, if TOCs were more bothered about revenue, maybe they'd employ some RPIs &/or security to patrol trains beyond the early evening, or even just man ticket barriers at major stations...
EDIT: Just a tip for any Guards (or even brave members of the public), a good way to deal with on train smokers without conflict is to inform the idiot/scroat, in a slightly alarmed/concerned fashion, that they need to put it out as if the smoke gets into the smoke detectors the train breaks will come on and we'll be stuck until an engineer (fitter doesn't work, too railway dictionary) comes out to reset it. This has always worked for me, though I do fancy my own acting skills. :P
I think you are a better "sniper" - that hit the target
Forget the acting - the bull about the smoke detector wouldn't fool a four year old
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I guess you haven't visited Newcastle Central recently and stood in the portico...
If you mean that area outside that the taxis run from I have seen people smoking there.
Believe it or not I go "outside"
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Erm, cos they were busy maybe?
Im not attacking smokers here as I am one myself but I have manners in as much that should someone be coughing when im smoking ill move away or put it out.
You have chosen the "dark side" Clip
Seriously a lot of these "coughings" are a put on. Try a cruise ship where they deliberately walk through a smoking area in order to be able to do it.
Five years ago the same people would have sat in a smokey pub and not said a dickie bird