This is the moral problem with generalisation. I've come to realise that if you replace "men" in the above text with "African people", "gay men", or "Muslims", it becomes quite fundamentally obvious bigotry. And this is before we come to the problem of deciding that trans women are "men".For the avoidance of doubt, anything I say is general and not necessarily about any individual.
I would like to think that as long as everyone is respectful to each other, the bottom line is that it shouldn't overly matter.
Issues tend to arise where people haven't been respectfully which means that others similar to them are then treated with suspicion. Sometimes the general behaviour of some men (see example above of poor toileting skills) can cause significant suspicion of all men.
There was a recent trend on TikTok where the question was posed, would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods, a LOT of women said a bear as they'd feel safer! Some even suggested data backed up the reasoning behind this! (The data looked at the US, so the UK maybe different and is harder to compare as there's no wild bears).
The point of highlighting that is to highlight the mindset of at least some women (and potentially a greater number than we may think) when it comes to potentially sharing space with people they feel that way towards. With that potentially (and unfortunately) because of their personal experience, not least 1 in 5 being subject to some form of sexual assault (yes I'm aware that could be by women as well as men), it's not much better for men at 1 in 6 (which should be remembered can be from men, I dint know the data on the split, however I fear that I could guess that a noticeable amount it by men).
Obviously, there's a lot of complexity in this and the fact that certain people in the public sphere can say things like "grab a women by their..." without everyone condemning them certainly isn't helping matters.
Likewise I'm not suggesting that anyone reading this is personally doing those things (although if they are, they should reconsider their behaviour).
As I started by saying, it shouldn't matter if people are respectful, unfortunately too many are not and so it impacts how willing people are to share spaces.
This also means that it's far more complex to pick an answer for policy answers and why almost every politician will tangle themselves up when questioned on their views. Even when their first statement appears coherent (mostly as they'll have had time to prepare their answers).
We don't, as a society, call for the ghettoisation or segregation of some groups because of our "concerns" about them, even if those concerns are apparently backed up by data. This is because it's quite obviously morally wrong and the founding principle of two tier societies.
Of the above example, gay men might be the easiest to start with. Often, this is an invisible minority; you will often not know someone is gay unless they explicitly reveal this to you. I am sure if you gathered data about incidents where men were made to feel uncomfortable, or propositioned, or even assaulted, in men's toilets, you would find that gay or queer male perpetrators accounted for an outsize number of those incidents. Yet, we do not propose to ban gay men from toilets as collective punishment for the actions of some gay people. We might even say they should use the women's toilets, because you know, they're gay, and wouldn't assault a woman, right? This would be grossly unfair, undignified and humiliating. It would be rightly seen as an attack on gay people's rights to exist in public spaces and live full lives.
However, some people, like the Conservative Party in their manifesto, are proposing as a policy that trans women should be banned, as a class, from accessing the women's toilets - a space where, in fact, women only reveal their genitals in complete privacy, unlike the men's toilets. This includes "passing" trans women where I would need to actually tell you that person was trans - the solution, apparently, is for those people to use the men's toilets instead. But they don't belong there, and they certainly wouldn't be safer there.
Thankfully that policy will never be enacted, let alone be enforced, but the fact it is in there and was communicated to applause at the launch is just gross.
Trans women are already using women's toilets. They have been for a very long time. And a lot of them are doing so invisibly. (And trans men have been using the gents loos too!)
Time for a Self-ID law and to knock this on the head once and for all.