You could start your diet but wear a fat suit to the event. Really freak people out when they see you the next day and it looks like you've lost all the weight overnight!
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DaleCooper
Established Member
Go on the diet, lose weight, then for the big event wear a fatsuit.
Oops najaB beat me to it
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PeterY
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- 2 Apr 2013
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Why does it seem to rain on bank holiday Mondays????
DaleCooper
Established Member
It has to otherwise it would violate the umpteenth law of thermodynamics.
From Cooperpaedia:
SS4
Established Member
DaleCooper
Established Member
Stood there in your wellies with a brolly in your mouth you reminded me of the Perishers.
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The swans are usually too busy looking around for peoples arms to break anyway.
"Hiss crack"
By the time you've heard that it's too late.
"Hiss crack"
There goes another one.
DaleCooper
Established Member
What's more by misusing them you have bent one and broken the other so they're no use any more. We need some new ones.
No need, I know a man who can fix them. The art didn't die out.
Here are some French ones: « »
DaleCooper
Established Member
Now we just need some French letters to go with them.
What you get up to the privacy of your home is your business, Mr Cooper. No need to shout about it on the forum thank you very much.
Another successful day out today:
I went to poxing B&Q to get some paint for tomorrows job but I knew I had a credit note for fifty quid to save me spending money from my own account - I'd left it at home by mistake though...
I'd been to Tescos the other day because my tablet had packed up and I found one that looked alright but when I took the box to the counter they couldn't scan it because they hadn't been sent the proper barcode.
There was a cheaper one there (an Amazon one), I decided to buy that instead and I took it home but it was rubbish, I mean really rubbish. I don't have a lot of spare money at the moment and I know naff all about computers and tablets etc which doesn't help.
Went back in today to take it back and saw a little HP laptop reduced to £179.
I convinced myself that it'd probably be better getting that and having something a bit better than a tablet in the end so I took the box up to the counter with a slight feeling of excitement at the thought of having my own working computer for the first time in ages rather than struggling with an old tablet or borrowing one of the kids ones like I normally do.
"Sold out" she said,
"b b but there's 36 empty boxes of the same computer on the shelf over there" I whined.
"Oh yeah sorry. Doris, go and put a sold out sign on those laptops wouldya".
The three bottles of Italian white wine that I bought straight afterwards to calm my nerves came to just £7.50 though and I think that's quite good.
I went to poxing B&Q to get some paint for tomorrows job but I knew I had a credit note for fifty quid to save me spending money from my own account - I'd left it at home by mistake though...
I'd been to Tescos the other day because my tablet had packed up and I found one that looked alright but when I took the box to the counter they couldn't scan it because they hadn't been sent the proper barcode.
There was a cheaper one there (an Amazon one), I decided to buy that instead and I took it home but it was rubbish, I mean really rubbish. I don't have a lot of spare money at the moment and I know naff all about computers and tablets etc which doesn't help.
Went back in today to take it back and saw a little HP laptop reduced to £179.
I convinced myself that it'd probably be better getting that and having something a bit better than a tablet in the end so I took the box up to the counter with a slight feeling of excitement at the thought of having my own working computer for the first time in ages rather than struggling with an old tablet or borrowing one of the kids ones like I normally do.
"Sold out" she said,
"b b but there's 36 empty boxes of the same computer on the shelf over there" I whined.
"Oh yeah sorry. Doris, go and put a sold out sign on those laptops wouldya".
The three bottles of Italian white wine that I bought straight afterwards to calm my nerves came to just £7.50 though and I think that's quite good.
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Can you sell me those? I just want to buy something.
Can I interest you in a bridge....?
Do I have to pay to use it?
DaleCooper
Established Member
Hang on a minute, surely French ones look like this - Un, Un
Since you've got us onto this subject, are those vending machines in the gents called condominiums?
No, free to use. You have to pay the moving fees though.
DaleCooper
Established Member
GusB
Established Member
Does the pig have wings?
Ok maybe. I've just got to sort out a soul receipt for the devil first.
DaleCooper
Established Member
DasLunatic
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I can't stand cats, full stop. Dogs FTW!
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