Railway Myths (2013)

[FGW_DID]

Myth: even if you cut out all the so-called non-important tannoy messages people would actually listen to the important ones or read the information screens.

 

[Flamingo]

Myth of the day: All staff hate all passengers.

supplementary Myth of the Day: this justifies any amount of rudeness to the staff, it's just getting your retaliation in first.

 

[stut]

Myth: overhead luggage racks are solely there for the benefit of thieves, and your bags will magically disappear the second you put them up there. As a result, all bags should be stored a) in the aisle or b) in the space where the passenger behind would put their feet.

 

[theblackwatch]

Myth 82: DVTs are locomotives, Class 82, and should be recorded as such.
(Copyright the Class of 2011/2012/2013)

 

[Buttsy]

Myth: overhead luggage racks are solely there for the benefit of thieves, and your bags will magically disappear the second you put them up there. As a result, all bags should be stored a) in the aisle or b) in the space where the passenger behind would put their feet.

or c) on the seat next to you as you're entitled to make sure your stuff can't be nicked, regardless of anyone else wanting to sit down

 

[CyrusWuff]

Myth #3983201: Ticket Office staff personally set fares and time restrictions purely to extract as much money out of passengers as possible, and never do anything to try and save them money...like offering Rangers/Rovers or other "obscure" tickets where appropriate.

 

[LexyBoy]

Myth #n++: Blowing your whistle every 2 seconds whilst passengers are still getting off the train will ensure speedy boarding and not be at all irritating.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Myth: When having a rant, however justified, at railway staff, using the term "British Rail" will ensure that they know you mean business and that you know what you're talking about...

 

[quarella]

People who only use a train once a year are obligated to complain via Twitter and Newspapers about how poor the service is.

 

[CyrusWuff]

Myth 292091: Every member of rail staff in the country knows the entire National Rail Timetable off by heart.

Myth 292091a: They also know all Engineering Work information for both the rail network and other modes of public transport anywhere in the country.

Myth 292091b: They can also tell you exactly what bus to get from Anytown railway station to Nowheresville, what time they run and how much the ticket will be, even though it's not a PlusBus area.

 

[Trainfan344]

Myth 0-0: If you and your drunk mate decide to do a two man conga line through a 350 towards the driver, he will not get distracted and not get annoyed with you.

 

[trainophile]

People who only use a train once a year are obligated to complain via Twitter and Newspapers about how poor the service is.

Love it.

On the same theme, people who find themselves being filmed on a railway platform for a TV series go into maximum rant mode over the smallest inconvenience.

Oh hang on, that's not a myth... :roll:

 

[Matt Taylor]

You CAN buy a return to New York for less than the cost of the average off peak fare.

The guard can police the cycle area, first class and the buffet and operate the doors all at the same time.

 

[Captain Chaos]

Myth 1046/2629C: After finding out the reason as to why your previous train was cancelled from the Guard of the service you are now on it is perfectly reasonable to then proceed to go onto the FB page and demand to know why on there and when getting the same reason call it a fabrication and demand a free monthly season ticket...

 

[455driver]

Myth woteva 4-

When a train jolts it means the train should be replaced with a new one as it is obviously only good for scrap and the jolt is clearly nothing to do with the track or maybe a damper that needs changing. :roll:

 

[CyrusWuff]

Ticket Office staff deliberately go on their break/book up when there's a queue solely to annoy would be passengers. That they've been stuck on the window for 4 hours plus and have another 4 hours go is neither here nor there.

 

[AndyLandy]

Myth:

Northern Rail have trained all their ticket office staff to deliberately sabotage the TVMs and close their offices when you want to travel; they've also trained their guards to avoid passengers at all times; all so that the G4S staff can sting you for a whopping great penalty.

 

[Captain Chaos]

Myth Numberwang!: The ticket inspectors are always rude. The fact that you have been asked to purchase a new ticket because your ticket wasn't valid is irrelevant. He's a total jobsworth, rude and is an embarrassment to your company!

 

[tbtc]

Myth Numberwang!: The ticket inspectors are always rude. The fact that you have been asked to purchase a new ticket because your ticket wasn't valid is irrelevant. He's a total jobsworth, rude and is an embarrassment to your company!

Its perfectly reasonable and fair to say that asking you to pay full fare for a ticket (that you were dodging) IS THE KIND OF THING THAT HITLER WOULD HAVE DONE

 

[AndyLandy]

Its perfectly reasonable and fair to say that asking you to pay full fare for a ticket (that you were dodging) IS THE KIND OF THING THAT HITLER WOULD HAVE DONE

Erm, I think you might have just Godwin'd your own thread.

 

[island]

Myth number meh: it's perfectly reasonable to say you could fly to Spain/New York/etc. for less than the cost of a walk-up rail ticket from London to Edinburgh and there's no need to take into account that walk-up plane tickets are expensive or that you might get an advance from London to Edinburgh for £12.60.

 

[Eagle]

Its perfectly reasonable and fair to say that asking you to pay full fare for a ticket (that you were dodging) IS THE KIND OF THING THAT HITLER WOULD HAVE DONE

I'm perfectly sure that if Hitler was a ticket inspector in 2010s Britain then he would ensure that discovered fare-dodgers paid up, so it is a valid statement. Not a proportionate statement, of course.

 

[Flamingo]

Myth of the day: All staff in every TOC should be fired and the whole thing run by Branson.

 

[CyrusWuff]

Myth 24: Train companies will replace "lost" tickets free of charge on presentation of the credit card slip and there is absolutely no possibility of fraud from someone else using "your" ticket.

 

[Murph]

I'm perfectly sure that if Hitler was a ticket inspector in 2010s Britain then he would ensure that discovered fare-dodgers paid up, so it is a valid statement. Not a proportionate statement, of course.

Ve haf vays of making you pay the TOC!

 

[AndyLandy]

Myth of the day: All staff in every TOC should be fired and the whole thing run by Branson.

*shudder*

The image that conjured up is one of every single member of rail staff being replaced by a clone of Branson.

 

[Flamingo]

I think that was the chap's idea when he was shouting it at me...

Mind you, even if we were all fired, and replaced by Branson clones, his ticket would still have not been valid for First Class

 

[stut]

Mind you, even if we were all fired, and replaced by Branson clones, his ticket would still have not been valid for First Class

An utter tangent, but airline myth #aleph0: Branson's airline has a First Class.

 

[trainophile]

Myth #GRRR - Asking a guard nicely whether you may get on his train even though your Advance connection gives you one half an hour later will result in the affirmative. Just been knocked back again, so now enjoying the delights of Crewe, complete with stink of diesel. This guy even put out an announcement about it on his (half empty) train.

Glad I've changed my future booked journeys to a different route so I won't have this nonsense again.

 

[455driver]

Myth #GRRR - Asking a guard nicely whether you may get on his train even though your Advance connection gives you one half an hour later will result in the affirmative. Just been knocked back again, so now enjoying the delights of Crewe, complete with stink of diesel. This guy even put out an announcement about it on his (half empty) train.

Glad I've changed my future booked journeys to a different route so I won't have this nonsense again.

What nonsense? You bought a train specific ticket (coz it wuz cheep innit) and expect to use it as an open ticket! If you dont want the restrictions that come with an Advance ticket dont buy an Advance ticket! :roll:

Myth PITA-

Buying the cheapest/most restrictive ticket (to save money) doesnt matter because just asking the guard nicely (or explaining about your gran dying, cat taken ill, woteva limp excuse has popped into your head) before boarding will always ensure the guard will let you on even if it is several hours before your booked train and if it doesnt the guard is a jobsworth, little Hitler, was very rude etc blah blah blah.