Railway Myths (2013)

[D841 Roebuck]

Myth #125. The Metrolink Timetable.

 

[455driver]

Myth 121: Drivers are in charge of the Train!

The driver is!

Well the front 6ft of train anyway, I have no interest in the rest of the train so you can have it!

 

[Starmill]

Myth #125. The Metrolink Timetable.

Glad somone mentioned it!

That'll teach anyone who's used the WTT of, for example, London Tramlink, and thinks they can try to arrive for specific tram times

 

[Andrewlong]

Myth 96a: if you can't see a seat in standard class you can take one in first.

Without asking permission as a right!
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Myth 82: Trains do not have bins. It is therefore always appropriate to leave your rubbish on the table, or in the seat next to you. On no account should you take your rubbish with you!

It's perfectly reasonable to leave drinks cups on train seats containing a residue of liquid. Passengers following you do not mind pouring coffee over their seat, clothing or the floor.

 

[tsr]

Myth #126: All train toilets can automatically be stereotyped as filthy cupboards which are not suitable for even the most hardened sewage industry workers.

 

[trainophile]

Myth # 127... "A person has been hit by a train" was the train's fault .

 

[HowardGWR]

Myth no 128

Station car park charges are not made to fleece the customers, but to ensure only the well-off middle class can get a space.

 

[The_Rail_WAy]

Myth number 129: Coffee bought on a train is the most amazing coffee you will ever drink.

Myth 130: The top speed of a class 142 is 120mph

Myth 131: Anyone with a slight interest in railways is a 'geek'

Myth 132: Why am I here??

 

[D365]

It is absolutely impossible to build a mainline train with more than 2 doors

Wait, only a 139 PPM would meet those criteria? You seem to be forgetting that there are two sides to every train and carriage; also cab/gangway doors, toilet doors, first class doors..! :P

Edited Myth: It is impossible to build a mainline passenger carriage with more than 2 doors on a side - in Britain, at least

Myth 130: The top speed of a class 142/Pacer is 120mph

[Extension of earlier myths] First were using this reason to justify taking over the WCML; since Virgin own the Pendolinos, they'll have to source a cheap alternative (otherwise not IEP or HST )

Myth 131: Anyone with a slight interest in railways is a 'geek'

Myth 131a: Anyone who works on the railways is a train enthusiast - if only!

 

[quarella]

Anyone who enforces a rule is displaying poor customer service.

Passengers are forced at gunpoint onto the trains they Tweet as dangerously overcrowded. (Always seem to have enough room to reach for their phones though )

Coach operators have scores of vehicles and drivers sat around waiting to be at a station in minutes of a train cancellation/line blockage

 

[David Barrett]

Myth No. 134. The Rail Replacement Bus Drivers are well briefed and know exactly where they're going.

Myth No. 135. Sir Brian Souter became a Knight Of The Realm for services to transport.

Myth No. 136. The proper name for a Railway Station is a Train Station.

 

[quarella]

Passenger facing staff have a brain implant for service updates during disruption.

 

[trainophile]

Myth no. ??? - A ticket entitles you to three seats. One for your bum, one for your luggage, and one for your feet.

 

[David Barrett]

Myth no. ??? - A ticket entitles you to three seats. One for your bum, one for your luggage, and one for your feet.

No, four: don't forget the window seat to the side so that nobody sits next to you!

Myth No. 14x or something. No campaign for an improved train service is worthwhile unless it is based around a through working to London.

Myth No. 14x+1. It is of no consequence if, after reserving a seat, you find a better one somewhere else on the train or just can't be bothered to find it in the first place.

Myth No. 14x+2. Train doorways are for luggage.

Myth No. 14x+3. It is not a good idea to allow passengers off the train before, yourself, attempting to board.

 

[Keith Jarrett]

Myth no 137+: All forms of photography are banned by UK law on railway stations (and all variants thereof)

 

[ATW Alex 101]

Myth 138 Merseyrail is a light rail system

 

[YorkshireBear]

Myth No. 138+ : Only the North of England gets second hand rolling stock.

 

[David Barrett]

Myth No. 14x+whatever. The shelters provided on stations are for the sole use of enthusiasts who have travelled there by car to observe trains and the metal bench within is for the use of disposable barbecues.

Myth No.................... Passengers waiting for trains should keep well out of the way of those wishing to take photographs and refrain from making any noise during sound recording.

 

[quarella]

Regular and Frequent mean the same when referring to train services.

 

[tsr]

Myth: The paperwork behind a CTA makes no provision for enthusiasts.

Myth: There is no such thing as a "held connection" any more, and anyone in a hurry to make a connection through no fault of their own is a dangerous, disorganised, lazy, inherently inconsiderate person, whose situation is nothing to do with the railway and certainly unresolvable.

Myth: The air conditioning on any given 166 always works. Under no circumstances will the window need to opened.

Myth: It is acceptable to ruin the view from the First Class seating by sticking a big sticker on the window with "First Class" written on it.

 

[sbt]

Refusing to define 'Sufficient Time' makes 'In sufficient time to catch your train' a useful guide to when to turn up at a station to catch a train. [Believed by ATOC]

All passengers with unexpected ticket combinations are attempting to evade paying the proper fare for their journey. [Believed by a number of SWT RPIs and, fewer, Guards]

All passengers with apparently valid tickets are Fare Evaders - they just haven't been caught this time. [Believed by a number of SWT RPIs]

It is perfectly reasonable to put a 'Block On' at a station that results in passengers who arrive 25 minutes before their train is due to leave, already in possession of valid tickets, missing their train. After all, they failed to 'arrive in sufficient time'. [Believed by some SWT RPIs]

Nobody ever overhears conversions on trains so it is perfectly safe to hold sensitive conversations, over the phone or face to face, on a train. [Believed by many passengers]

 

[TheEdge]

Myth #Pi: The only thing needed to go track-side for that perfect shot is a branded Hi-Vis from a TOC that ceased to be 10 years ago.

 

[Palkanetoijala]

MYTH rail website says u cant get from bournemouth to thurso in 1 day WHEN IT IS PERFECTLY POSSIBLE

 

[anti-pacer]

Myth 4,746: The DfT really DOES care about those members of the travelling public who live outside South East England.

No..... really..... they do!

 

[tbtc]

Myth 4,747:

There are no modern trains in northern England

 

[317666]

Myth 4,748: A train counts as full and standing if the only remaining seats involve sitting next to someone, even if there are plenty of such seats available.

 

[MK Tom]

Myth # 4,232,121: Network Rail's sole policy is to erect large amounts of fencing for purely aesthetic reasons.

Myth # 4,232,122: A bus driving on inner-city roads is capable of keeping to a 100mph railway timetable.

Myth # 4,232,123: Starr Gate on the Blackpool Tramway is so called because there you can interchange with a large ring that will take you to the planet Abydos.

Myth # 4,232,124: 'Parkway' means 'not actually in this place'.

 

[Seacook]

Myth # 4,232,121: Network Rail's sole policy is to erect large amounts of fencing for purely aesthetic reasons.

Myth number 4,232,121a: Network Rail insist on lines being painted on platforms for only two reasons, pure aesthetics and to indicate that cars may not be parked on them.

 

[313103]

MYTH: All Guards sit in the back cab and never come out into the public domain.

 

[Oswyntail]

Myth number 4,232,121a: Network Rail insist on lines being painted on platforms for only two reasons, pure aesthetics and to indicate that cars may not be parked on them.

Myth number 4,232,121b - a third reason for the lines is to indicate the safe area between said line and the platform edge in which tripods, other equipment, and gesticulating enthusiasts may safely be placed.