I am devastated. I was so convinced that the world was coming to an end yesterday that I burnt all my money in a big bonfire in the back yard instead of going to work.
As soon as I realised that there was not going to be any Armageddon, I had to go straight to the pub and drown my sorrows in premium lager, all scrounged due to my lack of cash. The bar staff were very rude, and would not allow me a free drink, even though I was distraught from my experiences.
I was asked to leave the boozer at about 6pm, fell down on my way home and cracked my head open. After several hours in A&E, when I was ignored but others were seen, I finally and understandably lost my temper which resulted in a night in the cells. I am now due to appear before the local magistrates on Monday morning.
I can't help thinking that this is all the Mayans fault. if they hadn't predicted the end of the world I would not be in this situation.
I would welcome some advice:
1. Could I get a criminal record from this?
2. Is it worth trying to settle out of court?
3. Who can I sue? There are no Mayans in the phone book.
Merry Christmas!



