Oxymoronic announcements

[aylesbury]

Its not a service message but the one you hear in the loo on a Pendeleno its totally daft .

 

[xotGD]

"Stand back from the platform edge - fast train approaching" followed by a coal or biomass train trundling through at 10 mph, coming to a stop, then trundling off 5 minutes later.

 

[CaptainHaddock]

It always seems mildly perverse that at Castleford the announcements start "The next train to arrive at Platform 1" when there is only one platform!

 

[DanTrain]

It always seems mildly perverse that at Castleford the announcements start "The next train to arrive at Platform 1" when there is only one platform!

I think that happens at a lot of 1 platform stations, it does seem a little superflous.

I personally liked a DMI display issue, where I left Glasgow on an 11 car Pendolino, and arrived into Wigan on a 9 car one. Beats me how it managed to divide so subtly

 

[61653 HTAFC]

It always seems mildly perverse that at Castleford the announcements start "The next train to arrive at Platform 1" when there is only one platform!

Though at Casvegas there is a platform 2 with a track to serve it... It just isn't open or easily reachable by the public! It's more silly at somewhere like Berry Brow which has only ever had one platform (in its current location) and is on a single-track line.

 

[hexagon789]

Presumably they are found in other parts of the UK, but announcements at ScotRail stations to "Stand back from the platform edge as certain trains pass through this station with history stopping", fine at stations where not all trains stop but at stations where all trains stop it's a bit of a safety overkill. The worst was hearing it at I think it was Largs soon after the newer recorded announcents were inputted.

Personally I'd be very worried indeed if certain trains didn't stop at Largs, we don't want a repeat of what happened 1995!

 

[jon0844]

"Stand back from the platform edge - fast train approaching" followed by a coal or biomass train trundling through at 10 mph, coming to a stop, then trundling off 5 minutes later.

GTR has screens say a train may not stop, while the audio says it definitely won't..

 

[Spamcan81]

At East Croydon last week a train was shown as delayed "due to a cancelled freight train." Hmm.

 

[Spamcan81]

"Stand back from the platform edge - fast train approaching" followed by a coal or biomass train trundling through at 10 mph, coming to a stop, then trundling off 5 minutes later.

On several occasions I've heard that announcement at Arlesey only for nothing to pass through.

 

[johnr57]

Presumably they are found in other parts of the UK, but announcements at ScotRail stations to "Stand back from the platform edge as certain trains pass through this station with history stopping", fine at stations where not all trains stop but at stations where all trains stop it's a bit of a safety overkill. The worst was hearing it at I think it was Largs soon after the newer recorded announcents were inputted.

Personally I'd be very worried indeed if certain trains didn't stop at Largs, we don't want a repeat of what happened 1995!

Other than my youngest coming into this world , and I don’t think you are referring to that monumentous event , what happened in 1995?

 

[pdeaves]

I think that happens at a lot of 1 platform stations, it does seem a little superflous.

Marlow has "the next train to depart from <slight pause> the platform is..." (with emphasis, though that may be accentuated by the pause before). Even that is superfluous; surely "the next train is..." would do!

 

[hexagon789]

Other than my youngest coming into this world , and I don’t think you are referring to that monumentous event , what happened in 1995?

Apologies, I thought the incident was well known. On the 11th July 1995 2T07 Glasgow Central to Largs, formed of 2 Class 318s (the first 5 coaches of which were seriously damaged on the crash) failed to slow on approach to Largs, collided with the buffers stops, demolished much of the station canopies and buildings and ran out into the High Street. 10 passengers were on board at the time but there were no fatalities nor serious injuries. A Driver inquiry determined the causes to be:

1. Not braking early enough
2. Failing to take wet rail conditions into account
3. Not placing the brake handle into Emergency
4. Insufficient experience with low adhesion conditions.

The incident however always seems to be referred to as being caused by brake failure which is not the case.

Back on topic: another gem in the ScotRail announcements are the "This train terminates here" announcements heard often at Glasgow Central. What do they expect the train to do, become a road train and drive on up Hope Street?

 

[DanTrain]

Back on topic: another gem in the ScotRail announcements are the "This train terminates here" announcements heard often at Glasgow Central. What do they expect the train to do, become a road train and drive on up Hope Street?

Reverse out on a different route. Yes, I'm being pedantic, but terminus stations such as Thurso and the main shed in Manchester Piccadilly do see through trains. (Sorry for the pedantry )

 

[Parallel]

Marlow has "the next train to depart from <slight pause> the platform is..." (with emphasis, though that may be accentuated by the pause before). Even that is superfluous; surely "the next train is..." would do!

Some GWR help points with the next train button say “The next train to arrive at... Thisss station will be the...” but some others say “The next train to arrive at this station in the direction of X will be the XX:XX service to X. The next train to arrive at this station in the direction of Y will be the...”
But announcement systems at stations like Exmouth and Digby just say “platform 1”
—
Some help points have previously listed the second train too in each direction (if there are two)

 

[hexagon789]

Reverse out on a different route. Yes, I'm being pedantic, but terminus stations such as Thurso and the main shed in Manchester Piccadilly do see through trains. (Sorry for the pedantry )

Not at all, I can be a bit of pedant myself at times. I do appreciate that trains often run timetabled through journeys by reversing, I was just trying to highlight that I find the announcement a bit unnecessary really.

Actually, come to think of it, the through Ayr-Edinburgh/North Berwick reverse in Glasgow Central and continue on there merry way, so perhaps my criticism is a bit unfounded.

 

[DanTrain]

Not at all, I can be a bit of pedant myself at times. I do appreciate that trains often run timetabled through journeys by reversing, I was just trying to highlight that I find the announcement a bit unnecessary really.

Actually, come to think of it, the through Ayr-Edinburgh/North Berwick reverse in Glasgow Central and continue on there merry way, so perhaps my criticism is a bit unfounded.

Also, I've just remembered Low Level, which is a through platform. It's still an unnessesary thing to say (and is in most circumstances), but I can see why it might be there.

 

[FOH]

Not long ago I’m pretty sure I saw on the TfL status board that the Waterloo & City line was Part Suspended

 

[island]

It is a code. "Good" means that however bad it seems you are still better off sticking with it than trying an alternative route. It is when they stop calling it "good" that you want to consider catching a bus instead.

Allegedly "minor delays" means you should stay around and wait, and "severe delays" means you should go a different way.

 

[rd749249]

I avoid using the word ‘fast’ when announcing the next station and skipping stations in between, as is usually my luck I’m anything but ‘fast’ as running on cautionary aspects.

 

[DelW]

A few years ago I and a platform-full of passengers were at Portsmouth Harbour awaiting a charter train returning us to London. As the empty stock came in, an audio announcement asked all passengers to "stand well clear as the approaching train will not stop at this station", which caused some amusement and bemusement. There can't be any occasion when that message would be appropriate at PMH.

 

[CaptainHaddock]

At my local station this morning there was an announcement to take extra care "due to the current icy conditions", even thogh the last of the ice disappeared at the weekend and the weather has now turned relatively mild. It seems Northern are very good at adding more and more announcements but not terribly good at taking them off once they're no longer relevant!

 

[PHILIPE]

At Bristol TM once, a train was announced as terminating at Platform 1. The train had come off the Beach line and was forming a return trip along the Branch, so somebody was waiting assuming the train was terminating and which it was, but it went back along the Branch with the passenger left behind.

 

[mallard]

Heard regularly in EMT land: "This train is formed of 10 carriages. First class accomodation is towards the front/rear of the train." Except that a 10-car formation can only be formed of two units and therefore has two seperate first class sections. Unless they're suggesting that one of them is declassified (they never are) there's no way that the entire compliment of first class can be at the front/rear.

Heard yesterday at Leicester: "This train is formed of 4 carriages. Due to short platforms, passengers for Market Harborough should travel in the front 6 carriages, passengers for (I forget where) should travel in the front 8 carriages." It seems that when a train is short-formed, the "formed of" number gets updated, but the "short platform" annoucements are still based on the original booked length.

Regularly at Leicester, when the 1755 (arr 1746) Cross-Country service ends up on platform 2, the departure boards still continue to show the 1751 Nottingham service as "2nd" until the inevitable last-minute "platform alteration".

 

[Jonny]

"...calling at [station A] and [station B] only."

Technically that one is OK as it means only two station stops rather than three or more.

 

[philthetube]

I was travelling with Southern once from Watford junction in car 9 or 8

 

[Thebaz]

One of my favourite announcements is on the GWR express services from Paddington on which the first stop is Reading, where it advises passengers to change for Gatwick Airport. Because if you were in London and were going to catch your flight from Gatwick, the first thing you'd obviously do is head to Paddington and get on a train whose first stop is 40 miles west of the capital and much further away from your destination airport than where you started your journey.

 

[Pakenhamtrain]

We have one stop before the trains terminus make mention the train stops all stations. For instance at Cardina Road heading to Pakenham.
"Good Afternoon customers, The next train to depart platform 2 will be the 1.51 Pakenham. Stopping all stations to Pakenham.

 

[infobleep]

Please use all availble doors when boarding this service, I can only use one!

Well if only one exists then that is all the available doors. Maybe overkill but it's factually correct.

Another factually correct one that no less amused me was the Brighton & Brighton service advertised at Clapham Junction on both screen and audio announcement. It would tell which portion to be in for Brighton and then which portion to be in for Wivlesfield; Burgess Hill; Hassoak; Preston Park and Brighton.

Shortening it down you'd effectively need to be in the front x coaches for Brighton and the rare y coaches for Brighton, abet they reeled off other stations first.

I wonder if anyone ever got in the portion for Brighton when they meant to be in the portion for Brighton.

That got resolves but the service no longer running. I think another service replaced it.

 

[infobleep]

I thought they announced the ones with first stop Redbridge as services to Chandlers Ford and vice versa.

Is there any services that call at Hampden Park twice?

Yea there is and I once got on a train that said Hamden Park on the depatrue board screen but it actually was going to Hansen Park and I didn't notice until I'd got to Bexhill. Oops. My fault for not reading the display fully though.

Another thing that occurs is when a delayed train is showing arriving before the train behind it but you know the train in second is ahead of the train in first. It's also a two track railway so overtaking is not in option.

 

[infobleep]

I think that happens at a lot of 1 platform stations, it does seem a little superflous.

I personally liked a DMI display issue, where I left Glasgow on an 11 car Pendolino, and arrived into Wigan on a 9 car one. Beats me how it managed to divide so subtly

Surely they used the slip carriage method of working! It's in my Great Western Railway General Appendox!