Oxymoronic announcements

[yorkie]

The system at Leeds surpassed itself last night. The 2112 to York was running almost an hour late. Train arrives on platform 12D, boards and locks up. The announcement is going on about this 2112 service, calling points etc...

and at the time I boarded it, the departure boards claimed it was the 2212 to Newcastle!

 

[Ianno87]

Not really the same, but is always amusing when a 'via' point is put into station CIS, only for that train to get terminated short at the 'via station'.

"Edinburgh via Birmingham New Street" becomes "Birmingham New Street via Birmingham New Street"... well fancy that?

A couple of years back in disruption at King's Cross was a GN train for "Cambridge & Cambridge. Via Cambridge. Calling at Cambridge". More a tautology than an oxymoron.

Or, a London Midland set swap at Northampton meaning that of a 12 car train, "the rear 12 coaches will detach and terminate at Northampton".

 

[ANDREW_D_WEBB]

A couple of years ago at Weymouth, "Please stand back from the platform edge as the approaching train is not scheduled to stop here.

Overground trains arriving at Clapham Junction are also preceded by the same announcement, despite it being a bay platform.

 

[Crossover]

and at the time I boarded it, the departure boards claimed it was the 2212 to Newcastle!

Ah yes, I forgot about that - manual "announcements" (I think it was the despatcher) saying it wasn't the service to Newcastle!

 

[Lockwood]

a GN train for "Cambridge & Cambridge. Via Cambridge. Calling at Cambridge".

Is that the Norwich train?

 

[londonmidland]

Here’s a recording I have at Kings Cross from a while ago.

 

[Master29]

Yes that’s a particularly meaningless phrase. Where do you draw the line? “We apologise for the delay to this service; this has been caused by a delay to the inbound service due to earlier delays...”etc. Heard far too often!

Actually, when you look at it that does make perfect sense. An earlier train that was late. What`s wrong with that.

 

[jon0844]

Just spotted this at Huddersfield. Apparently the cancelled 1650 service has 3 carriages...
View attachment 43570
The top row shows the service with the departure time replaced with 'cancelled'. The 2nd row has the calling points scrolling, followed by 'This train has 3 carriages'
Any other examples of contradictory announcements and displays?

Is it that contradictory? It shows the service as it was booked, including the stops it would have made and how long it was, but is now cancelled. Sure, it could say something like 'originally booked to call' or something, but I think the software hasn't been set up that way.

If you were booked on a train, or were simply waiting, you'd likely want to be sure it was your train cancelled and then look for the next one.

Yes that’s a particularly meaningless phrase. Where do you draw the line? “We apologise for the delay to this service; this has been caused by a delay to the inbound service due to earlier delays...”etc. Heard far too often!

If one diagram is affected early on, it may have a knock-on effect for many hours unless the train skips stops, or is cancelled and runs empty, or at some point has enough recovery time.

The only problem is the public are unlikely to know what the service forms next, and then after that, including any ECS moves. They will understandably call b******t after a while.

 

[jon0844]

It is a wholly unsatisfactory explanation. But you do have to draw a line somewhere.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 1214 service to Peterborough will be delayed by approximately 20 minutes. This is due to, well, Phil, the driver, had a nightmare journey in. Not only was the road flooded, he got a flat tyre and the AA couldn't get through because of the flood. Bob, the relief driver, had called in sick, so there wasn't much we could do l, but Phil got it sorted and made it in and got the train out 15 minutes late. Picked up 5 minutes on the way too, but the pathing was terrible earlier on, what with Virgin having a moody HST knocking about, and some reports of cows wandering about up Newark way. Nearly had it, but then there was some massive argument between two groups skunked up teenagers at the Nidge who decided to block the doors while doing so and then we lost all chance of getting here on time.

Um, I mean "this service is delayed due to a late inbound service".

I would love to see that scrolling by on the display, as well as Atos Anne making the verbal announcement by patching together pre-recorded words and phrases. That is unless there's a simple drop down box selection for the above.

 

[philthetube]

Please use all availble doors when boarding this service, I can only use one!

 

[pdq]

Is it that contradictory? It shows the service as it was booked, including the stops it would have made and how long it was, but is now cancelled.

Only in an amusing and admittedly pedantic sense that a cancelled, non-existent train still has (not had) 3 carriages.

There seem to be a few of us on here that enjoy the oddities thrown up by the English language mixed with inflexible automation. It doesn't diminish the clarity of the message but rather gives an internal opportunity for a knowing eye-roll.

 

[Wolvercoter]

When an Exmouth line train is truncated at Topsham, I've heard the option to request stops beyond Topsham still auto-announced at Exeter St Davids.

And, for a long time, platform 4 at Didcot would announce a service after it had left the station.

At Tonbridge, I've boarded the rather confusing Ramsgate & Ramsgate service.

 

[fairysdad]

Not so much oxymoronic but just a bit amusing, the SWR announcements at Waterloo for the train to 'Bournemouth and Poole'. Of course, it makes sense when you think that the train splits at Southampton, with one portion being the fast to Bournemouth, and the other the stopping to Poole, but you hear the list of stations and as the stopper stops at the ones the fast also stops at... well, you get the idea.

Also when SWR skip stops on the main line suburban (probably happens on the other side too), the announcements say something along the lines of 'The destination of this train has changed. Instead of London Waterloo, this train is now for London Waterloo'. (Haven't been on a service that has skipped stops for a while, so the wording is probably way off, but it's along those lines!)

 

[Bletchleyite]

That's better than iBus, which says "the destination of this bus has changed" without bothering to tell you for some time what it has changed to.

 

[PeterC]

"...calling at [station A] and [station B] only."

Properly informative if the normal service pattern involved also calling at a number of intermediate stations.

 

[greaterwest]

Not so much oxymoronic but just a bit amusing, the SWR announcements at Waterloo for the train to 'Bournemouth and Poole'.

As I understand it, this used to be Poole & Pokesdown (for Boscombe) which made a little more sense, but SWR have since stopped using "short" destinations outside of London (e.g. Farnborough at Southampton Airport Parkway and selected New Forest stations where the Weymouth train would overtake the stopper)

 

[74A]

The auto announcements on the new GWR 800 need a bit more work. The other day I was on a Worcester service. When we arrived at Didcot Parkway it said change here for Oxford !!

 

[FileTrekker]

The screens at Paddington as well as continuing to show the calling points of a cancelled train also continue to display other aspects of the train such as the number of coaches, position of the first class coaches, catering information etc all in the present tense!

It's a bit like Jim Bowen telling you what you could have won....

 

[xotGD]

I always wonder why London Underground describe trains running as normal with passengers crammed in like sardines and left behind at stations as a 'Good Service'.

 

[Bletchleyite]

A couple of years back in disruption at King's Cross was a GN train for "Cambridge & Cambridge. Via Cambridge. Calling at Cambridge". More a tautology than an oxymoron.

That happens when a Kings Lynn gets terminated short. I've seen similar at Euston - "Northampton via Northampton".

 

[stut]

I always wonder why London Underground describe trains running as normal with passengers crammed in like sardines and left behind at stations as a 'Good Service'.

It's all relative. The bad service involves platforms backing up and stations closing...

 

[stut]

It's a bit like Jim Bowen telling you what you could have won....

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Poole. Great, super, smashing. Please stay clear of the platform edge and off the line. Keep off the yellow and stay on the black, the last thing you want is to fall on the track. Trains to Weymouth are currently delayed, so all you get is BFH: Bus Fare Home. It'll take me until the end of this announcement to count it out. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you were super rich, would you be on this train? Have a look over at the harbour and see what you could have won. A speedboat. Super, smashing."

 

[61653 HTAFC]

That happens when a Kings Lynn gets terminated short. I've seen similar at Euston - "Northampton via Northampton".

One like that which isn't an error is the "Salisbury 6" service, presumably the only service where a station's (Romsey) announcements will refer to itself in the third-person!

 

[PeterC]

I always wonder why London Underground describe trains running as normal with passengers crammed in like sardines and left behind at stations as a 'Good Service'.

It is a code. "Good" means that however bad it seems you are still better off sticking with it than trying an alternative route. It is when they stop calling it "good" that you want to consider catching a bus instead.

 

[gnolife]

One like that which isn't an error is the "Salisbury 6" service, presumably the only service where a station's (Romsey) announcements will refer to itself in the third-person!

I thought they announced the ones with first stop Redbridge as services to Chandlers Ford and vice versa.

Is there any services that call at Hampden Park twice?

 

[xcooler123]

My favourite one was courtesy of London Overground-

"There is currently no service between Romford and Upminster due to a faulty train. There is a good service on the rest of the line"

Hmmmm.......

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I thought they announced the ones with first stop Redbridge as services to Chandlers Ford and vice versa.

Is there any services that call at Hampden Park twice?

They may well do, it isn't my territory. Back when Cross Country ran services from North of Edinburgh via the WCML, I assume that announcements at Haymarket would say "calling at Edinburgh Waverley, Haymarket, etc..." unless they were just displayed as Edinburgh services until they called again on the way back out. Does anyone recall how it was handled?

 

[61653 HTAFC]

My favourite one was courtesy of London Overground-

"There is currently no service between Romford and Upminster due to a faulty train. There is a good service on the rest of the line"

Hmmmm.......

Presumably the failure was at Emerson Park then. If there's always a train at the platform maybe some PR people would try to dress that up as a good service!

 

[Dr_Paul]

On Saturday, the up service to Waterloo I was hoping to catch, due at Kingston at 15.33, was shown first as 'Delayed', rather than the usual revised time of arrival; then a couple of minutes before its timetabled arrival, we were told to stand back as 'the next train is not due to stop at this station', both over the tannoy and on the indicator; when it arrived it was on time and duly stopped. At both Norbiton and New Malden, the station indicators stated that it was not due to stop, but it did.

 

[ArchieWoodbine]

Not quite an announcement, but down in Kent there's still some old signs adjacent to short platforms warning slam-door EMU passangers that they're not in the platform - e.g. "Chilham - DO NOT ALIGHT HERE". Nowardays, with selective door operation, it's nothing more than a harsh comment against the villiage in question!