Most irritating (small) things on trains...

[Metal_gee_man]

I’m finding myself getting disproportionately irritated about small annoyances on trains. For example, I find my trip is completely ruined if any of the following occur:

1) Closest toilets not working
2) No buffet car
3) Reservations not downloaded
4) Air conditioning not working
5) Train is in reverse formation
6) No knobbly things on the top of chairs to hold onto
7) No tea trolley
8) Stopping seemingly randomly
9) Job titles: ‘train manager’ instead of ‘conductor’. ‘Host’ instead of ‘barman’ or ‘shop keeper’
10) Overfamiliarity, I don’t want my journey to be ‘awesome’. I don’t care that your name is Tim.
11) Speakers for train announcements being impossible to hear or crackly
12) Incessant announcements

Have I missed anything? Am I being wholly unreasonable and unBritish in being vexed by these trivial annoyances. Or do they genuinely matter? Rail Travel is meant to be a high end service as well as being a public good.

I'd guess you'd hate Josh at SouthEastern then:
https://www.kentlive.news/news/kent-news/southeastern-man-behind-microphone-kent-1256876

NEWS
The Southeastern worker behind the memorable announcements at Kent railway stations
The 28-year-old also makes the extra effort of trying to put a smile on the face of passengers

Commuters at Canterbury West, Ashford International or Folkestone Central railway station may have noticed one particular Southeastern worker.

Josh Mears can be spotted at the barriers, ticket offices and on the platforms providing assistance.


But that’s not all he does during his shifts.

The 28-year-old, who has the official title of area relief, also makes the extra effort of trying to put a smile on the face of passengers.

He cracks jokes as he delivers announcements for waiting passengers.
Josh Mears works for Southeastern at various stations around Kent
He started his role in February last year and has what he describes as a “theatrical background,” which is why he decided to combine his hobby of entertaining people with his job.

'Why not give people a smile?'
He said: “I do singing and acting, so standing out on the platform, it’s almost like you’ve got a captive audience and you think why not.


“I also volunteer at a heritage railway and a group of us do Christmas and Halloween trains and that involves a lot of standing, talking to the public and entertaining.

“It’s come from there really, so I started doing it here on the platforms.

“Like I say, you’ve got a captive audience, they’re all standing there, so why not give people a smile and give them something to chuckle about when they’re getting on their train on their journey.”

Josh Mears likes to entertain passengers with his comical public announcements
Josh admitted his job “suits him down to the ground” and explained that he makes the jokes to not only brighten people’s day but to also make sure they’re paying attention to the announcements.

'It's nice to get people smiling'
He said: “I say things like ‘if you see anything suspicious apart from my haircut’ and then people sort of stop looking at their newspaper, for example, look up and have a little chuckle about it.

“Little things like that give it a bit more of a personal touch because we have automatic announcements that play every time a train comes in or ones about security.


“People tend to switch off from that but if they hear something and actually see somebody standing on the platform talking into a microphone then they’re more likely to listen, I think, which is quite good.

“It’s nice to get people smiling as well.”

Josh Mears combines his performing arts talent with his job
Josh added: “Everyone is different and a lot of the people that come through here, don’t come through here every day, so I can get away with using the same sort of material a few times.”

 

[Typhoon]

Passengers who don't wave back when children are waving cheerfully at the train...

Depends how old they are, if they are mid teens, I'd want to check that they really were waving!

 

[broadgage]

Absolutely, I don’t get why they don’t do that. Was certainly glad of opening windows on some ATW 158s last week on the Cambrian.

Of course, on a DOO train in theory there’s no one to open them.

IMHO, all trains should have openable windows for when the air conditioning breaks or the power supply thereto fails. These windows should be locked shut normally so as to allow the air conditioning to work.
I would use magnetic locks to secure the windows shut. They can then all be released by the driver or guard. Alternatively this could be automated by releasing the locks when the saloon temperature exceeds say 25 degrees for more than 10 minutes.

 

[skh93]

Does this one count?

When a TOC forms a service of two different classes, one class with a gangway connection and one without. Example being a 142/156 put together.

Is that petty, or a genuine reason to be a bit annoyed?

 

[py_megapixel]

Does this one count?

When a TOC forms a service of two different classes, one class with a gangway connection and one without. Example being a 142/156 put together.

Is that petty, or a genuine reason to be a bit annoyed?

It annoys me because in two minutes I will see a 150 with no gangway coupled to another 156. Couldn't they swapped it around so that both 156s are together...?

 

[chris_in_salop]

When did it become socially acceptable to eat smelly food on a crowded train? Something inoffensive like a Mars Bar is OK. But a good proportion of my weekend journeys are made just that little bit worse by people noisily chomping on burgers and chips.

Last week someone opening a packet of fish and chips on departure from Holyhead. Yesterday someone guzzling a bucket of KFC on the single carriage of a Heart of Wales train. Are people deliberately trying to rile me?

 

[dk1]

When did it become socially acceptable to eat smelly food on a crowded train? Something inoffensive like a Mars Bar is OK. But a good proportion of my weekend journeys are made just that little bit worse by people noisily chomping on burgers and chips.

Last week someone opening a packet of fish and chips on departure from Holyhead. Yesterday someone guzzling a bucket of KFC on the single carriage of a Heart of Wales train. Are people deliberately trying to rile me?

One word. Wasabi. I do not think I could relax in a carriage eating such a stinky meal. I would just know everyone in there would be giving me daggers. It gets into clothes & everything. Some passengers however are very very thick skinned & don't even pick up on it let alone care.

 

[37047]

When did it become socially acceptable to eat smelly food on a crowded train? Something inoffensive like a Mars Bar is OK. But a good proportion of my weekend journeys are made just that little bit worse by people noisily chomping on burgers and chips.

Last week someone opening a packet of fish and chips on departure from Holyhead. Yesterday someone guzzling a bucket of KFC on the single carriage of a Heart of Wales train. Are people deliberately trying to rile me?

Another pet hate of mine, although not limited to smelly food - crisps drive me mad. My other issue is having to listen to people who can't chew with their mouths closed. There are a couple on my morning commute - my heart sinks on days when 'flapjack man' boards the train.

 

[43096]

how do you mute it?

See post 149.

 

[Ladder23]

Another pet hate of mine, although not limited to smelly food - crisps drive me mad. My other issue is having to listen to people who can't chew with their mouths closed. There are a couple on my morning commute - my heard sinks on days when 'flapjack man' boards the train.

Your comment made me almost spit my tea out! brilliant pet hate of mine also though!!

 

[Metal_gee_man]

When did it become socially acceptable to eat smelly food on a crowded train? Something inoffensive like a Mars Bar is OK. But a good proportion of my weekend journeys are made just that little bit worse by people noisily chomping on burgers and chips.

Last week someone opening a packet of fish and chips on departure from Holyhead. Yesterday someone guzzling a bucket of KFC on the single carriage of a Heart of Wales train. Are people deliberately trying to rile me?

It's challenging, I've been on both sides of that coin, when I jump on a 19.10 that's 2/3rd full and my destination is 2hrs away I'm not gonna wait until I get home to eat so yes I've eaten various things on my way home after a long day at work.
However whilst I've also sat in a packed, standing room only high speed train from Ashford to St Pancras (a 30 minute journey) and an entire family squeeze into 2 pre-occupied table bays and they bring out an entire KFC bucket meal and sat there stinking out a carriage passing food across the aisle on a pretty short journey at 4pm in the afternoon, I and plenty of others thought that to be extremely unacceptable and unnecessary

Can you win? When is it acceptable?

 

[yorksrob]

As long as it's not those disgusting cream cheese and chive pringles I don't mind.

 

[37047]

Can you win? When is it acceptable?

IMO it's more acceptable on a service where food is for sale onboard, otherwise not.* Egg sandwiches are an exception to this. They are never acceptable.

*Willing to consider exemptions for non-smelly snacks as long as the snack-ee passes a 'quiet eating' test.

 

[Saperstein]

Egg sandwiches are an exception to this. They are never acceptable.

Yet Greater Anglia sell them on board LHCS from their trolley.

I was actually planning to dart into the next carriage on a recent Norwich to London Liverpool Street service, but fortunately the lady a couple of rows away bought something else instead!

 

[BJames]

When did it become socially acceptable to eat smelly food on a crowded train? Something inoffensive like a Mars Bar is OK. But a good proportion of my weekend journeys are made just that little bit worse by people noisily chomping on burgers and chips.

Last week someone opening a packet of fish and chips on departure from Holyhead. Yesterday someone guzzling a bucket of KFC on the single carriage of a Heart of Wales train. Are people deliberately trying to rile me?

One word. Wasabi. I do not think I could relax in a carriage eating such a stinky meal. I would just know everyone in there would be giving me daggers. It gets into clothes & everything. Some passengers however are very very thick skinned & don't even pick up on it let alone care.

Definitely. I do think that there is a need for people to understand that what they are doing impacts other people - agreed about wasabi, the smell seems to permeate the carriage.

It's challenging, I've been on both sides of that coin, when I jump on a 19.10 that's 2/3rd full and my destination is 2hrs away I'm not gonna wait until I get home to eat so yes I've eaten various things on my way home after a long day at work.
However whilst I've also sat in a packed, standing room only high speed train from Ashford to St Pancras (a 30 minute journey) and an entire family squeeze into 2 pre-occupied table bays and they bring out an entire KFC bucket meal and sat there stinking out a carriage passing food across the aisle on a pretty short journey at 4pm in the afternoon, I and plenty of others thought that to be extremely unacceptable and unnecessary.

I suppose... but the smelliest of foods should be avoided IMO.

 

[michael74]

Standing on the platform at Torquay listening to the automated announcement telling us every single calling point of the long distance Cross Country from Paignton service...

 

[Train Maniac]

When did it become socially acceptable to eat smelly food on a crowded train? Something inoffensive like a Mars Bar is OK. But a good proportion of my weekend journeys are made just that little bit worse by people noisily chomping on burgers and chips.

Last week someone opening a packet of fish and chips on departure from Holyhead. Yesterday someone guzzling a bucket of KFC on the single carriage of a Heart of Wales train. Are people deliberately trying to rile me?

Theres no pretending im not a culprit of munching on fish and chips on a late evening train
Personally, the smell doesnt bother me (when im not said person i mean), it just makes me rather irrationally peckish

Noisy kids are definitely a bug bear of mine, but on the other hand im not exactly very quiet when im having a good time with my mates.
The other obvious one is when my morning commute is persistently 4 minutes late meaning i miss my connection at Ashford.

 

[GrimShady]

As long as it's not those disgusting cream cheese and chive pringles I don't mind.

Well said.

 

[mmh]

When did it become socially acceptable to eat smelly food on a crowded train?

About 1936? Every Enid Blyton school story includes the inevitable train journey with emergency provisions.

More recently than that I'm sure not everyone enjoyed some of the egg sandwiches I was packed away with.

 

[mmh]

However whilst I've also sat in a packed, standing room only high speed train from Ashford to St Pancras (a 30 minute journey) and an entire family squeeze into 2 pre-occupied table bays

Interesting take on "standing room only."

I and plenty of others thought that to be extremely unacceptable and unnecessary

How could you tell? Were you all doing the silent Victoria Wood tut to each other?

Elsewhere in many threads on here: "why aren't there more buffets serving hot food? I miss blah bacon sandwiches" etc.

 

[Old Yard Dog]

Poor legroom
3+2 seating
Seats that don't align with windows
Le Mans starts (i.e. passengers held at gate till 2 mins before departure, then having to race like nutters to get a seat or even catch the train)

 

[yorksrob]

About 1936? Every Enid Blyton school story includes the inevitable train journey with emergency provisions.

More recently than that I'm sure not everyone enjoyed some of the egg sandwiches I was packed away with.

All washed down with lashings of ginger beer, of course.

 

[DarloRich]

my goodness you lot are a set of curmudgeons! This is fantastic. Who knew people could get themselves so worked up over nothing!

 

[Bletchleyite]

Talking of the smelly food one, surely the main cause of this is said food being sold for takeaway at stations, which has a strong implication that you are intended to take it on a train?

 

[CaptainHaddock]

Cyclists who try to force their bikes onto packed peak time trains.

(and yes I am a cyclist myself!)

 

[centraltrains]

Any phone call which is made louder than it needs to be and starts with the words "I'm on the train," followed a minute later by "I'm about to pass through a tunnel so..."
People putting their shoes on seats.
Gum or other black solids stained onto the seats.
2 car trains in the peak out of Snow Hill.

 

[ArchieWoodbine]

Standing on the platform at Torquay listening to the automated announcement telling us every single calling point of the long distance Cross Country from Paignton service...

Similarly, on a Weymouth-bound service between Stapleton Rd., Lawrence Hill and Bristol Temple Meads, the inter-station distances are so short that the announcement is on an almost constant loop. No sooner has it said "...and Weymouth", the doors close and it starts all over again.

"Welcome aboard this GWR service to Weymouth. We'll be calling at...[90 seconds later]...and Weymo.....Welcome aboard this...."

 

[Metal_gee_man]

Interesting take on "standing room only."



How could you tell? Were you all doing the silent Victoria Wood tut to each other?

Elsewhere in many threads on here: "why aren't there more buffets serving hot food? I miss blah bacon sandwiches" etc.

So when I get on the train find one of only a few seats left, the family jumped on just before me and sat across 2 bays of table seats that already had 4 people in situ as the train had arrived from Folkestone

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And then more people piled on after me and were stood in part of the aisle and in the vestibules, that is standing room only!

And when the OBM came down to check tickets multiple people were vocal enough to him about the smell and state of the floor in the middle of the aisle with chips and rubbish!

 

[700007]

This may be the most British thread ever to brace this forum.

 

[Ken H]

Does this one count?

When a TOC forms a service of two different classes, one class with a gangway connection and one without. Example being a 142/156 put together.

Is that petty, or a genuine reason to be a bit annoyed?

I am annoyed that anyone buys new trains without a corridor connection.