On a Javelin yesterday afternoon from Stratford to St. Pancras, the Guard began announcing that "We are now arriving at St. Pancras" just as we entered the tunnel at Stratford. I though that was slightly premature, but his connectional information included "platforms 1, 2, 3 4 for East Midlands Trains services to Bedford, Leicester, East Midlands Parkway, Nottingham and Sheffield via Derby. Platforms 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 for Eurostar services to Paris Gare du Nord, Brussel-Zuid (both said in convincing European accents!), platforms A and B for First Capital Connect services to St. Albans, Luton and Bedford, London Bridge, East Croydon, Gatwick Airport and Brighton"
I thought that was the end of it - How wrong I was!
"Next door at London Kings Cross, East Coast, Grand Central and First Hull Trains services via the East Coast Main Line to Peterborough, Doncaster, Yorkshire, Newcastle and Scotland. First Capital Connect services to Welwyn Garden City and Hertford"
..."Just up the road, or one stop on the Northern London Underground line, Virgin Trains services, via the West Coast Main Line, to Milton Keynes, Rugby, Coventry, Birmingham, Manchester, Liverpool, Preston, Carlisle and Glasgow. Also, for services to North Wales, Llandudno Junction and Holyhead for Dún Laoghaire"
... Directions to Paddington, Victoria and Waterloo followed, with a plethora of available destinations from each.
His announcement just finished with the names of himself and the Driver just as we were emerging into daylight over the ECML!
Still, it was better than watching the scenery I suppose!
I had some big, cheery red faced chap with a heavy Cornish accent on a FGW PAD-PNZ service. When it came for the (Customer host) to make the announcement that the buffet was open (or words to that effect) she suddenly burst out laughing and promptly put the handset down. One minute later she comes back on and managed to get some words out in between laughter (the laughter you get when you are being tickled).
Then the train manager (the Cornish guy) can be heard standing next to her apologising for her disgraceful behavior and explaining that it was her first day.
This went on for a good 3 minutes of hysterical laughter from her, and the whole train.
It wasn't done in a malicious way - he was laughing about it, she was laughing, the train was laughing. (Yes, that's right(!)) I can't see any reason why she would be fired.
Oh, and "disgraceful behavior" was said jokingly as we all knew it was him that was causing the laughter.
There's a guard on the Sheerness branch who likes to refer to Sittingbourne station as "Sittingbourne International".
"Welcome aboard this Southeastern service to the Isle Of Man"
He was the guard on my delayed train home last night and as we approached Southport said "Will parents please make sure they leave the train with the same amount of kids that they boarded with".
A bit long winded this but bear with me...
Basically when I did my Cardiff bash a couple of weeks back I was on the 10:37 Voyager from TVP, and was casually reading the Metro paper on the approach to Taunton, and they have a small feature called "Good Deed Feed", and on this day, there was a piece that went thus: "Many thanks to the Train Manager who wishes us the 'wheels of friendship' to travel with us through through 'titillating Tiverton' (yeah right BTW
And guess who came over the PA system on the Taunton approach, yes that's right, that very train manager!
