Funny announcement at a station.

[mr williams]

Wasn't really sure what to make of that. I still don't know whether to think he was being unprofessional or not.

Thoughts?

Not at all - we all take far too much for granted, including life itself

 

[SuperOwl86]

Just had an unusual one at Sheffield.

"This is a staff announcement can signaller Chris **** contact the Sheffield Powerbox. repeated 2 or 3 times.

 

[syorksdeano]

I was on a Cross Country service at Doncaster just as the football season finished. Anyway some of the fans onboard had witnessed their team relegated so the conductor did his usual welcome to blah blah, the next calling point will be Sheffield and for those fans on board who support so and so you will be visiting here twice next season, enjoy the trip.

 

[Freddie]

I had one on the 1822 from Liverpool Lime Street the other day:

"I'd just like to apologise to passengers in Coach C for the low level of Air Conditioning. For passengers who would prefer a cooler environment, there are still seats available in Coaches A and B. Those who are staying in Coach C will notice that I've put out copies of our complimentary Explorer magazine. As well as being an exciting read, it also functions as a fan"

Raised a smile from even the most stony-faced commuters around me...

 

[tenementfunste]

This one was funny here in Argentina at Martínez station:

"El próximo tren no conduce pasajeros, el mismo conduce hinchas de Tigre"

"The next train does NOT carry passengers, it carries Tigre fans"

Tigre is a famous football club in the northern suburbs of Buenos Aires.

 

[Aictos]

Leeds today had disruption due to signalling failure at Thirsk - while waiting for a East Coast, I heard a announcement about a TPE service being cancelled - part of the announcement was "Change at York for services to York"

How can you board a train to a station where you are already at?

 

[Simon Poole]

I had an great announcement today which made me laugh

the 0918 to Alloa from Glasgow Queen Street was suppose to stop at Bishopbriggs, Linzie, Croy, Larmbet, Stirling and then to Alloa

they wipped the first 3 stations off the boards and only stopping at Larmbet & Stirling, even the driver and the guard mention it wasn't stopping at Bishopbriggs, Linzie and Croy becuase of a points failure and they were going to divert the train, leaving passengers at the station, the train left and went through the tunnel, after it left Glasgow Queen Street, the guard had a called from the singalman, he them announced that this train will not divert and call at Bishopbriggs, Linzie & Croy, it burst out laughing after hearing that it will be stopping at those stations again becuase they left the passengers behind, to be honest there was no reason to stop at Bishopbriggs becuase no one got on or no one got off

 

[district]

How can you board a train to a station where you are already at?

Board a brighton bound train at HAMPDEN PK SSEX and it'll call at Eastbourne, reverse and call again at HAMPDEN PK SSEX then continue to Brighton

 

[jon0844]

A new one at Finsbury Park tonight; saying something like First Capital Connect is currently operating a good service - before announcing my train as being 6 minutes late (ended up 9 minutes late) and a train after as cancelled due to a member of staff being unavailable!

That's a 'good' service?

 

[Bittern]

How can you board a train to a station where you are already at?

First ScotRail run a Cathcart Circle service from Glasgow Central - Glasgow Central.

 

[Aictos]

A new one at Finsbury Park tonight; saying something like First Capital Connect is currently operating a good service - before announcing my train as being 6 minutes late (ended up 9 minutes late) and a train after as cancelled due to a member of staff being unavailable!

That's a 'good' service?

Someone's been studying Monty Python again, by that I am of course referring to that classic entitled "Always look on the bright side of life".

 

[DaveNewcastle]

A new one at Finsbury Park tonight; saying something like First Capital Connect is currently operating a good service - before announcing my train as being 6 minutes late . . . .

Someone's been studying Monty Python . . . . "Always look on the bright side of life".

It reminded more more of the regular anouncements (apocryphal, of course) in the heyday of the Soviet nations whose governments constantly boasted of their nation's increased production, the increased prosperity, the increased happines, the increased efficiency, the higher achievements in education, the higher achievements in sport, the increased . . . . .

(meanwhile people were, of course, freezing, hungry, unwell and poor. Alledgedly).

 

[Aictos]

It reminded more more of the regular anouncements (apocryphal, of course) in the heyday of the Soviet nations whose governments constantly boasted of their nation's increased production, the increased prosperity, the increased happines, the increased efficiency, the higher achievements in education, the higher achievements in sport, the increased . . . . .

(meanwhile people were, of course, freezing, hungry, unwell and poor. Alledgedly).

Is that common to all Fascist or Communist nations though, I'm sure the Soviets were not the only ones to use that idea.

 

[Roylang]

Heard another odd announcement at Reading this morning.

It was basically the standard message "Would passengers on platform X please stand clear as the approaching train is not scheduled to stop at this station."

Funny thing was, it was for Platform 3, which is a bay platform!

Roy

 

[michael769]

First ScotRail run a Cathcart Circle service from Glasgow Central - Glasgow Central.

IIRC The Fife Circle services are also official listed as running from Edinburgh Waverly to Edinburgh Waverly.

 

[MidnightFlyer]

Heard another odd announcement at Reading this morning.

It was basically the standard message "Would passengers on platform X please stand clear as the approaching train is not scheduled to stop at this station."

Funny thing was, it was for Platform 3, which is a bay platform!

Roy

The SEHS platforms at St Pancras have had 'The next train doesn't stop at this platform, please stand clear' on the electronic boards!

Eastbourne also has a 'passing trains cause turbulence' notice, quite odd for a terminal station!

 

[Domeyhead]

When an automatic announcement "apologises" for something it doesn't seem quite right. Surely an apology should come from an actual human being.

Completely agree. Totally pointless. Might just as well have one of Douglas Adams Electronic monks to take the blame for whatever it is and be done with it.

 

[Arglwydd Golau]

This thread has reminded me of journeys made from Kings X to St. Neot's in the 1970's, often I'd have to change from the Cambridge train for a DMU at Hitchin and as the DMU drew up a porter with a wonderful local accent would shout ( and it seemed almost in one breath!)

(see if I can get this right!)
'Pee-erburratrain,Pee-erburratrain,callinatswadesaaaaaaaaaaaandysneatsununindun'

...was always something to listen out for! Not sure that everyone was able to understand!

 

[oversteer]

Completely agree. Totally pointless. Might just as well have one of Douglas Adams Electronic monks to take the blame for whatever it is and be done with it.

Chiltern do this.
"I'm sorry for the delay to this service"
"I'm very sorry for the LONG delay to this service"
Both in the same canned voice
They could at least have recorded it as "We are .." ?

 

[Soupdragon]

an 'on train' announcement on the late night TPE 'stopper' from Doncaster to Cleethorpes actually tells you that ".......the next stop will be Kirk Sandall" - after you have just left the aforementioned station!!!

 

[Boothby97]

The SEHS platforms at St Pancras have had 'The next train doesn't stop at this platform, please stand clear' on the electronic boards!

Eastbourne also has a 'passing trains cause turbulence' notice, quite odd for a terminal station!

You got those from Today Railway's UK, didn't you?
Another one is beware of slippery surfaces on a dry, summers day
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

an 'on train' announcement on the late night TPE 'stopper' from Doncaster to Cleethorpes actually tells you that ".......the next stop will be Kirk Sandall" - after you have just left the aforementioned station!!!

I have heard of an experience when the TPE Class 185s started running Cleethorpes-Manchester Airport service that the automated announcement on an afternoon departure from Grimsby Town to Cleethorpes said the next stop will be Grimsby Docks!

Thanks, Sam

 

[MidnightFlyer]

You got those from Today Railway's UK, didn't you?
Another one is beware of slippery surfaces on a dry, summers day

Indeed. Another good one, taken by myself, is of the electronic departure boards at Eastleigh displaying 'Please stand back, the next train through this platform doesn't stop at this station'. Behind it is the railtour I was on with doors open and people all over the platform.

 

[stuartmoss]

On the London Underground, I think it might have been Stockwell:

"Just to let the gentleman in the pink shirt currently reliving himself at the end of the platform know, that British Transport Police have been called...and from what we can see here you have nothing to be proud of"

The entire platform of people all turned to see some guy hurriedly putting himself back 'in order' at the end of the platform, there were many laughs in his direction.

 

[Phil6219]

There was a clip knocking around of a SWT unit on fire a few years back, with repeated announcments for people to not board the train "as it was on fire", seems there was quite a few people boarding at one end somewhat oblivious to the fire brigade in attendance and lots of flames and smoke.

The clips gone now, as has the one with the CT (or LM) 170 with a waste bin fire. I'm not sure if anyone was trying to get on that one though.

I have heard the occasional non stop train through a bay platform and once heard many moons ago at Salford Crescent "the next train on platform 2 is the xx:xx service to Blackpool North" the signals red so up pulls a Class 60 hauling the binliners, queue "the train currently standing at platform 2 is not in public use, passengers for Blackpool North please board the next train from platform 2".

Incidentally as a youngster I spent most of my youth at that station, on Sundays I'd do most of the announcements. Not too sure what the passengers thought about a squeaky voice on the tannoy though. I did get to know a lot of the drivers and guards though, oh happy days.