Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[D6130]

Am I the only person that's never stepped inside a IKEA? I remember the days of MFI.

No..... I've never stepped inside an IKEA either!

 

[Strat-tastic]

Nor me.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

I remember the days of MFI.

They've not been trading since end 2008. Think Woolworths lasted maybe a fortnight or so longer. Neither need banning!

 

[Trackman]

Nor me.

And me too.

 

[Bald Rick]

Am I the only person that's never stepped inside a IKEA? I remember the days of MFI.

I never step inside - I always skip around with joy!

(Seriously, it is the only shop I actually enjoy going in other than bookshops and record shops)

 

[styles]

I've only been to IKEA once, but then I've left an IKEA zero times.

 

[Broken Viking]

Unfortunately, so many people, both young and old, seem to have lost the knack of doing [Putting ones hand out to hail the bus] and just stand on the kerb waiting. That is, I suppose, fine if you have only one route, but where there are several the driver has to slow down unless the person on the pavement either waves them past or clearly steps back.

Where I am the situation of buses on different routes arriving at the same stop simultaneously is quite commonplace. Because of this I'll normally raise my hand with fingers to indicate the route number I want (The major routes here are the 1-3 and 6, which makes this somewhat easier) so I only stop the bus that I actually need.

Lothian Buses in Edinburgh (formerly Edinburgh Corporation Transport) continue, at least within the greater City Centre area, a long and proud tradition of observing every stop relevant to the service regardless of what the passengers, intending or otherwise are doing. This will sometimes require buses to queue up behind other vehicles in order to obtain access to the stop but you will not get a situation where the bus will "run past" the stop because no-one, tourists or locals, knows/can be bothered to have their arm out.

Don't they post usage guides at the stops for tourist reference? A poster with a graphic of a raised hand and short texts in multiple languages - Perhaps saying "When your bus approaches, please raise your hand to tell the driver you want to board" - Gets the message across clearly and would fit the typical A4-width timetable holders we have in Hampshire.

Stagecoach have recently added similar messages to our local bus stops advising passengers to use their phone flashlight or an illuminated screen to signal the bus during the hours of darkness, which makes sense given most people have them. I don't carry a smartphone, so when I get the chance I'm building a 125KV arc discharge device as a substitute.

Those new Costa express machines that don't print receipts. In the grand scheme of things, those receipts probably aren't the most environmentally detrimental uses of receipt papers in the UK. With the £2-3 bus cap, its not long until your pockets become full of these receipts.

Two things that chav me off about receipts:

1. As a heavily disadvantaged person who receives absolutely no trust based on appearance, I have to take a receipt for every transaction just to prove that I've made payment for the goods. Now that the culture has flip-sided to viewing the customer as a criminal until they're "proven" otherwise (i.e: Be wealthy, well-dressed and attractive so the security guard just waves you through) the only way I can be sure I won't be treated as a criminal is to obtain documentary evidence.
   .
2. In Sainsburys - And I see signs of Asda and Tesco bringing this in, too - You have to scan your receipt to exit the store, which means you have to obtain a receipt to get out whether you want one or not. A later progression will move this over to a facial recognition basis, but you'll only be able to trust that system if you're fortunate enough not to be branded "ugly" because you don't conform to rich peoples "standards".

It always amuses me that IKEA gives many of the things it sells the names of Swedish places: this sounds exotic to those who don’t know, but can be a bit inappropriate. They have a sofa called Söderhamn: when I lived in Sweden Söderhamn was the town with the country’s worst drug problem.

That sounds a bit like Deichmann offering a pair of sandals with matching socks named "Frankfurt"

Rediffusion (A historic UK cable TV network) used to name their sets after British towns and cities - There's videos of the Guildford model being demonstrated on YouTube displaying a PS3 home screen. I don't think I'd want to chance renting the Aldershot model, though...

There was a feeling that the Swedes take themselves just a bit too seriously and aren’t so good at laughing at themselves.

I think the same can be said for us, too. My interpretation of the UKCA mark is that it means "UK: Combustibility Assured" (See that sketch from the I.T. Crowd with the fire extinguisher starter ) and a lot of people hate on me for it. Even though the first place I saw a UKCA mark was on a British-made military device that is supposed to explode when used in accordance with the instructions!

Anyhow: Going to the topic of the OP, something I would ban is Skin conditions. I have one, and it is extremely irritating...

 

[Indigo Soup]

viewing the customer as a criminal until they're "proven" otherwise

Actually, can we put that on the 'ban' list? It seems like every time I go shopping someone's dreamt up a new way to demonise customers.

 

[styles]

Two things that chav me off about receipts:

1. As a heavily disadvantaged person who receives absolutely no trust based on appearance, I have to take a receipt for every transaction just to prove that I've made payment for the goods. Now that the culture has flip-sided to viewing the customer as a criminal until they're "proven" otherwise (i.e: Be wealthy, well-dressed and attractive so the security guard just waves you through) the only way I can be sure I won't be treated as a criminal is to obtain documentary evidence.
   .
2. In Sainsburys - And I see signs of Asda and Tesco bringing this in, too - You have to scan your receipt to exit the store, which means you have to obtain a receipt to get out whether you want one or not. A later progression will move this over to a facial recognition basis, but you'll only be able to trust that system if you're fortunate enough not to be branded "ugly" because you don't conform to rich peoples "standards".

For my part, I have simply taken steps to avoid places which have this system in place. It started happening years ago in central London where I worked. The first time it happened, the self-service checkouts hadn't been configured to always print receipts, so naturally, I didn't have one. I went to the customer service counter behind me, got a refund, explained why (not arsey or anything), and left.

I've only accidentally been caught out once since, when I went into a Lidl or Aldi (forget which) which required a receipt. Was a bit too big a shop to refund so went back to the self-service checkout where the receipt was hanging out the printer still, and left.

We've since taken to sourcing more directly. Fruit/veg/eggs come in a veg box once a week, we buy fish from the fishmonger who comes through once a week, etc. Spices, pulses, rice, cleaning/toiletries come from a 'zero waste' food shop soon (bit misleading as it clearly arrives in some sort of packaging even if in bulk). We do still hit the supermarket for some things, but thankfully our local supermarkets haven't rolled out this receipt-to-exit system yet, and still have staffed checkouts. If we had a butchers somewhere nearer, we'd be nearly done with supermarkets all together.

I'm aware that me doing this is going to make no difference to the rollout of receipt-to-exit, but I just prefer the shopping experience. Also aware that some supermarkets in mainland Europe do this, and that's fine, that's their call. I tend to stay in more remote places or smaller towns when I travel so don't really experience this very often.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Tried to use a new one the other day, and I got the message 'place a regular-sized cup below' the two times I tried to use my reusable cup. I still wanted the coffee, so I reluctantly got one of the single-use cups. I find it ironic that they decided that paper receipts are either bad for the environment or uneconomical, but increasing the rates of single-use coffee cups littered across the countryside and coastline is fine.

I thought the reason they introduced the little paper chits (not really receipts as they don't confirm payment) was so the different drinks could be priced differently? Previously all smalls and all larges were priced the same so all they needed to do was look what size cup you had.

How do they know if you had syrup etc on those ones?

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 5 Jun 2025 ==

Two things that chav me off about receipts:

1. As a heavily disadvantaged person who receives absolutely no trust based on appearance, I have to take a receipt for every transaction just to prove that I've made payment for the goods. Now that the culture has flip-sided to viewing the customer as a criminal until they're "proven" otherwise (i.e: Be wealthy, well-dressed and attractive so the security guard just waves you through) the only way I can be sure I won't be treated as a criminal is to obtain documentary evidence.
   .
2. In Sainsburys - And I see signs of Asda and Tesco bringing this in, too - You have to scan your receipt to exit the store, which means you have to obtain a receipt to get out whether you want one or not. A later progression will move this over to a facial recognition basis, but you'll only be able to trust that system if you're fortunate enough not to be branded "ugly" because you don't conform to rich peoples "standards".

I have never had any kind of issue with this. I'm all for any relatively passive measure (as this is) to reduce theft, because in the end I as an honest customer am paying for it when it occurs. And isn't it fairer in the context you describe that EVERYONE has to show a receipt rather than some people being waved through based on looking honest?

I'd go as far as to say I hope more places do it. We really need to wipe shoplifting out.

 

[Mr. SW]

Peanut butter truly is the gastro-intestinal effluvium of Beelzebub and his little dog Bingo.

 

[Bald Rick]

Peanut butter truly is the gastro-intestinal effluvium of Beelzebub and his little dog Bingo.

I am literally easitng a peanut butter sandwich right now now. Pip & Nut (99.5% peanut) Smooth peanut butter. On thick crusty bread. I can think of few better snacks.

 

[Sun Chariot]

I am literally easitng a peanut butter sandwich right now now. Pip & Nut (99.5% peanut) Smooth peanut butter. On thick crusty bread. I can think of few better snacks.

My family is wedded to Meridian crunchy peanut butter. 100% peanuts and natural peanut oil, 0% palm oil.
On sourdough crumpets, life is perfect.

 

[styles]

My family is wedded to Meridian crunchy peanut butter. 100% peanuts and natural peanut oil, 0% palm oil.
On sourdough crumpets, life is perfect.

I'm wedding to whichever 100% crunchy peanut butter is on the best offer. Tend to buy the big tubs.

Not just for toast, but curries, chicken, smoothies etc - we get through a lot!

 

[Broken Viking]

Peanut butter truly is the gastro-intestinal effluvium of Beelzebub and his little dog Bingo.

Assuming what you typed is the same as how I'm understanding it, I beg to differ; I practically live on peanuts/peanut butter, and - Being appropriately tactful, here - That part of my body is running so slow it's just been overtaken by a service operated by Amtrak!

I'm wedding to whichever 100% crunchy peanut butter is on the best offer. Tend to buy the big tubs. Not just for toast, but curries, chicken, smoothies etc - we get through a lot!

I might be able to help out here - Lidl's Maribel Peanut Butter (Available in both crunchy and smooth) is 100% peanuts (No palm or other non-peanut oil) and available in 280g jars (£1,25) or 1kg tubs (£3,99). A bodybuilding neighbour down the road finds it just as good as Pure brand for carb purposes (At much lower cost) and I've found the same in lesser measure (Mainly because I don't get the same peace of mind to focus on bodybuilding that non-disadvantaged folks with partners get).
Just bear in mind this stuff normally needs to be homogenised (i.e: Stirred vigorously with a knife - A good wrist exercise!) by the customer before use to undo settling of the contents.

 

[dangie]

Spread a thin layer of Biscoff spread on first, then the Peanut Butter (crunchy). A match made in heaven.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Have we had utility companies who call you up, and then get slightly shirty when you tell them that you're disinclined to provide them with various items of personal data in order that they can "confirm your ID". They rang me! (It was a genuine call, BTW).

 

[jfollows]

Have we had utility companies who call you up, and then get slightly shirty when you tell them that you're disinclined to provide them with various items of personal data in order that they can "confirm your ID". They rang me! (It was a genuine call, BTW).

Banks used to do this, and are significantly responsible for the way that bank frauds are implemented today as a result. I remember answering my phone years ago and having this, I told them to get lost when they started down the track of asking me to prove who I was. Many people know this now, but then they didn’t. I don’t always get things right but on this one I did.
But I haven’t had it recently from anyone.

 

[Richardr]

Have we had utility companies who call you up, and then get slightly shirty when you tell them that you're disinclined to provide them with various items of personal data in order that they can "confirm your ID". They rang me! (It was a genuine call, BTW).

I had that with Sky. I'm happy to confirm my name and address, and they obviously have my phone number, but won't give anyone who phones me unexpectedly with any additional information, such as my memorable word. Didn't progress any further. It was a genuine call, but as a matter of policy I won't give anything that isn't in my view public information.

 

[Drogba11CFC]

"2 night minimum stay is required for these dates"

 

[dangie]

In my local Peacocks clothes store.
I tried on a hat. Looked around for a mirror. For some reason only known to Peacocks, all of the mirrors in the men’s section were obstructed by clothes racks. The only unobstructed usable mirror I found was in ladies lingerie section. Unfortunately I didn’t see any ladies using it. Why having a mirror there is again only known to Peacocks.

 

[Sun Chariot]

Fruits and vegetables which taste fabulous but look utterly minging.

I give you: the pomegranate. The juice and the red seeds are wonderful to the taste buds.
But ...why oh why do they come out of something that more resembles a puckered ring-piece?

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Fruits and vegetables which taste fabulous but look utterly minging.

Or the opposite. Fruits and vegetables which look fabulous but are virtually tasteless. Tomatoes often fail the "taste test".

 

[Sun Chariot]

Or the opposite. Fruits and vegetables which look fabulous but are virtually tasteless. Tomatoes often fail the "taste test".

A lot of that is, sadly, a result of needing to pick and ship them before they are truly ripe.
In 2002, I travelled for a month with rucksack around Kerala, Tamil Nadu and Karnataka. I have a lasting memory, when I ordered a glass of pineapple juice - and I watched the chap cut the pineapple fresh off its plant before serving the juice to me. The taste was on an entirely different level. What we get in the UK, is sour and bland by comparison.

 

[cb a1]

One day, I would love to taste a real mango.
The stories I've read and heard from those who have eaten a fresh ripe mango ...

 

[D6130]

Tomatoes often fail the "taste test".

They don't here in Italy!

 

[Sun Chariot]

Tomatoes often fail the "taste test".

We live opposite the Isle of Wight's northeast coast and our local shops sell fabulous cherry tomatoes picked fresh from the IoW.
Time from vine to shelf is the reason they taste so succulent.

 

[Statto]

Am I the only person that's never stepped inside a IKEA? I remember the days of MFI.

I've never been to an IKEA either, think the nearest one to me is Aintree, which is about 10 miles from my home & involves crossing the Mersey, the next nearest is Warrington.

Here's an amusing song, I Fear IKEA.

 

[PeterY]

I've never been to an IKEA either, think the nearest one to me is Aintree, which is about 10 miles from my home & involves crossing the Mersey, the next nearest is Warrington.

Here's an amusing song, I Fear IKEA.

I really enjoyed this song and probably sums up why I've never wanted to go there, I'm guessing my nearest one is Wembley about 15 miles away.

 

[dcbwhaley]

.

1. In Sainsburys - And I see signs of Asda and Tesco bringing this in, too - You have to scan your receipt to exit the store, which means you have to obtain a receipt to get out whether you want one or not. A later progression will move this over to a facial recognition basis, but you'll only be able to trust that system if you're fortunate enough not to be branded "ugly" because you don't conform to rich peoples "standards".

How do you get out if you have not purchased anything?