Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Gloster]

I thought it worked "If you want the bus put arm out", otherwise it sails past.
Certainly works like that in my experience, I've never had a bus I didn't want stop for me (although I ensure I stand away from the curbside).

Unfortunately, so many people, both young and old, seem to have lost the knack of doing this and just stand on the kerb waiting. That is, I suppose, fine if you have only one route, but where there are several the driver has to slow down unless the person on the pavement either waves them past or clearly steps back.

It is not just the young: a few months ago I was waiting in the bus shelter at a pull-in with one elderly woman sitting on the ‘bench’. Along comes the East Cowes bus and slows down: I stay still and so does the woman, although she was looking out, so the bus speeds up again. Only when it is past does she stand up: she then asks why it didn’t stop and I told she should have waved it down: a perplexed expression and an “Oh!” (and an hour’s wait ). Though better than the woman who turned on me with, “Why didn’t YOU stop it”.

 

[GordonT]

I thought it worked "If you want the bus put arm out", otherwise it sails past.
Certainly works like that in my experience, I've never had a bus I didn't want stop for me (although I ensure I stand away from the curbside).

Lothian Buses in Edinburgh (formerly Edinburgh Corporation Transport) continue, at least within the greater City Centre area, a long and proud tradition of observing every stop relevant to the service regardless of what the passengers, intending or otherwise are doing.
This will sometimes require buses to queue up behind other vehicles in order to obtain access to the stop but you will not get a situation where the bus will "run past" the stop because no-one, tourists or locals, knows/can be bothered to have their arm out.

 

[Brent Goose]

Brilliant!

Northney Marina's big entrance sign was there, with typo, for several years. I have seen it amended last year: with a rather conspicuous sticker on top and the word spelled correctly!

For quite some time the road sign for the turn off from the A27 to the Halying Island roundabout going Eastbound misspelt ‘Industrial Estate’

 

[dangie]

Toasted Crumpets

Now I like the occasional toasted crumpet for breakfast. But what I don’t like is just how quickly they go cold once you’ve buttered them. By the time you’ve sat down and started eating they’ve gone cold.

Hot from the toaster….. cold on the sofa. Nothing cools quicker than a toasted crumpet

 

[Indigo Soup]

Toasted Crumpets

Now I like the occasional toasted crumpet for breakfast. But what I don’t like is just how quickly they go cold once you’ve buttered them. By the time you’ve sat down and started eating they’ve gone cold.

Hot from the toaster….. cold on the sofa. Nothing cools quicker than a toasted crumpet

Surely, then, what we need to ban is the cooling of crumpets?

I'm not sure quite how one repeals a law of thermodynamics, but there we go...

 

[D6130]

Surely, then, what we need to ban is the cooling of crumpets?

I'm not sure quite how one repeals a law of thermodynamics, but there we go...

....or heat them under the grill, where they may enjoy a more rounded and thorough warming experience? I suspect that heating them intensely in a toaster burns the crust almost to a cinder before the heat has had time to completely penetrate the interior. However I'm not an expert on thermodynamics either!

 

[bspahh]

....or heat them under the grill, where they may enjoy a more rounded and thorough warming experience? I suspect that heating them intensely in a toaster burns the crust almost to a cinder before the heat has had time to completely penetrate the interior. However I'm not an expert on thermodynamics either!

To heat the middle of a crumpet, I would give it 10 seconds in a microwave and then toast it. That also works to revive stale bread.

 

[dangie]

To heat the middle of a crumpet, I would give it 10 seconds in a microwave and then toast it. That also works to revive stale bread.

I’ll try that

 

[DJ_K666]

I would ban apostrophe's entirely

I see what you did there

 

[Peter Mugridge]

To heat the middle of a crumpet, I would give it 10 seconds in a microwave and then toast it.

I do it the other way round... toaster first, then the microwaving after adding the butter ( and any cheese so the cheese melts as well ).

Microwaving last ensures the inside is hot for longer.

 

[bspahh]

I do it the other way round... toaster first, then the microwaving after adding the butter ( and any cheese so the cheese melts as well ).

Microwaving last ensures the inside is hot for longer.

The nice thing about using the microwave and then the toaster is that the outside will be crispy. If you toast then microwave, the outside could be soggy.

Microwaves heat up fat really quickly, so only use it for very short periods until you learn how long it needs to heat up, otherwise it could burn your mouth.

I've never used a microwave for a crumpet, but if there is a pie which takes 25 minutes in an oven, 1 minute in a microwave and 10 minutes in the oven gives a hot filling without the pastry getting soggy.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

The nice thing about using the microwave and then the toaster is that the outside will be crispy. If you toast then microwave, the outside could be soggy.

Microwaves heat up fat really quickly, so only use it for very short periods until you learn how long it needs to heat up, otherwise it could burn your mouth.

I find 30 seconds at 850 watts is good to melt the cheese thoroughly, if a single crumpet, or one minute if doing three at once.

Yes, I always let it cool down a bit first before biting into it... and I do actually like them a bit soggy - you should see how much butter* I put on them...!!!

*Actually Flora Original not butter butter...

 

[Ostrich]

Corned Beef Tins

Is it me, or is it impossible to get the wretched things open (once the traditional key and tab method fails) without using either a pickaxe or an angle grinder?

 

[Jimini]

I do it the other way round... toaster first, then the microwaving after adding the butter ( and any cheese so the cheese melts as well ).

Microwaving last ensures the inside is hot for longer.

Crivens -- cheese on a crumpet?

That's a new one on me!

 

[Bald Rick]

I find 30 seconds at 850 watts is good to melt the cheese thoroughly, if a single crumpet, or one minute if doing three at once.

For a moment I forgot what thread this was… and was thinking about cycling. 30 seconds at 850 watts would melt my legs! (I think I’ve managed 800 watts for about 5 seconds before and that was enough)

 

[AM9]

Corned Beef Tins

Is it me, or is it impossible to get the wretched things open (once the traditional key and tab method fails) without using either a pickaxe or an angle grinder

If the tag is broken, a conventional can opener* can be used on the pare end of the tapered can.
Definitely not the old fashioned 'stab and tear' type that gratefully have largely disappeared, another anachronism to add to the list.

 

[Strat-tastic]

Crivens -- cheese on a crumpet?

That's a new one on me!

Try cheese and Marmite.

 

[Calthrop]

If the tag is broken, a conventional can opener* can be used on the pare end of the tapered can.
Definitely not the old fashioned 'stab and tear' type that gratefully have largely disappeared, another anachronism to add to the list.

if I understand your description correctly; I have, and joyously continue to use, a can opener of the stab-and-tear variety -- works better for me than the effete modern "rotary" sort: which with me, tends annoyingly to "spin its wheels". I admit to being wilfully old-fashioned in various departments of life.

 

[dcbwhaley]

. Nothing cools quicker than a toasted crumpet

Except a Donald Trump enthusiasm

 

[DelW]

Crivens -- cheese on a crumpet?

That's a new one on me!

My ideal is two crumpets...

One with cheese on top (and popped back under the grill again for a few seconds)

The other with butter and jam (definitely butter not marge, this is meant as an occasional treat).

Perfect for a quick snack!

(Edit: I've just realised this thread is "things you would ban". I definitely wouldn't ban cheese on crumpets! )

 

[Trainlog]

Those new Costa express machines that don't print receipts.

When I am at one of the older Costa express machines, I like to use a reusable cup. Prevents single use plastic, makes sense.

Tried to use a new one the other day, and I got the message 'place a regular-sized cup below' the two times I tried to use my reusable cup. I still wanted the coffee, so I reluctantly got one of the single-use cups. I find it ironic that they decided that paper receipts are either bad for the environment or uneconomical, but increasing the rates of single-use coffee cups littered across the countryside and coastline is fine.

In the grand scheme of things, those receipts probably aren't the most environmentally detrimental uses of receipt papers in the UK. With the £2-3 bus cap, its not long until your pockets become full of these receipts.

 

[aftv]

The seemingly never ending adverts before the Sky Go app lets you watch anything. I just tried to watch Sky Sports F1 on the App to test something and counted at least 5 adverts before I actually got to the Race that was showing.

 

[Sun Chariot]

"Vehicle's, boat's, trailer's and there accessory's and content's"...

Well, here's a Fareham barber's effort.

 

[dangie]

Wife’s just gone to IKEA with daughter-in-law.
Can’t imagine what essential item she’ll come back with that we’ve managed quite satisfactorily to do without.

 

[Gloster]

Wife’s just gone to IKEA with daughter-in-law.
Can’t imagine what essential item she’ll come back with that we’ve managed quite satisfactorily to do without.

It always amuses me that IKEA gives many of the things it sells the names of Swedish places: this sounds exotic to those who don’t know, but can be a bit inappropriate. They have a sofa called Söderhamn: when I lived in Sweden Söderhamn was the town with the country’s worst drug problem.

 

[Indigo Soup]

It always amuses me that IKEA gives many of the things it sells the names of Swedish places: this sounds exotic to those who don’t know, but can be a bit inappropriate. They have a sofa called Söderhamn: when I lived in Sweden Söderhamn was the town with the country’s worst drug problem.

There was a minor scandal a while ago when someone in Denmark (traditional enemy of Sweden) noticed that all of IKEA's rugs (upon which one walks) were named for places in Denmark.

 

[dgl]

There was a minor scandal a while ago when someone in Denmark (traditional enemy of Sweden) noticed that all of IKEA's rugs (upon which one walks) were named for places in Denmark.

As I understand it all other Scandinavian countries have at least a mild hatred of Denmark.

At least with Ikea you have plenty of time to return it if you don't want something you've brought, they'll even buy old Ikea stuff off you.

 

[Gloster]

As I understand it all other Scandinavian countries have at least a mild hatred of Denmark.

At least with Ikea you have plenty of time to return it if you don't want something you've brought, they'll even buy old Ikea stuff off you.

My experience was more that all the other countries saw Sweden as being the being the butt and were mildly running it down. There was a feeling that the Swedes take themselves just a bit too seriously and aren’t so good at laughing at themselves.

 

[dangie]

At least with Ikea you have plenty of time to return it if you don't want something you've brought, they'll even buy old Ikea stuff off you.

This will be interesting. My daughter-in-law came home with a self assembly flat pack chest of drawers. On opening the box she discovered the colour was not what she had asked for. She phoned up IKEA and they said they’d replace it as long as the box hadn’t been opened! Of course she told them that she only found it was the wrong colour once she had opened it. As I write this she is on the way back to IKEA.

Note: My wife came home with new dinner plates & dishes. Why I don’t know. The existing ones are still working perfectly.

 

[PeterY]

Am I the only person that's never stepped inside a IKEA? I remember the days of MFI.