Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Howardh]

I found that I could still pay in the cheque at a Post Office.

Near me, Horwich, has lost all it's banks and I'm not sure it still has a post office. However a "banking hub" has materialised where, I presume, cheques can be deposited, and hard cash?

One day I hope that ATM's can take cheques and notes seeing as bank branches disappear weekly.

Sent an e-mail to my building society "please can I have my interest statement for my tax return?". Nope, they can't do that via e-mail, and I can't ask on-line securely as I don't have an internet account with them. So had to ring them...nearly one hour and I git through. At least it's freephone.

 

[GusB]

After 20 minutes failing to get the app to work, and another 10 minutes messaging and phoning them, I found that I could still pay in the cheque at a Post Office.

The downside to paying in at a Post Office is that the cheque takes an absolute age to clear. The last time I tried to pay a cheque in at the PO I seem to recall requiring a special envelope from the bank, which I had to order as it hadn't supplied any!

 

[Indigo Soup]

Near me, Horwich, has lost all it's banks and I'm not sure it still has a post office. However a "banking hub" has materialised where, I presume, cheques can be deposited, and hard cash?

My town lost its Post Office some years ago, not sure exactly when, in favour of a Post Office counter in a shop. It subsequently lost all its banks - all prior to me moving here.

A Banking Hub has just been opened, run by the Post Office, across the street from the former Post Office. There were instantly questions about when it'll start offering postal services...

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Near me, Horwich, has lost all it's banks and I'm not sure it still has a post office.

There's still a Post Office branch in Horwich on Winter Hey Road, isn't there?

Winter Hey Post Office® | Bolton | BL6 7NX

Use the Post Office Branch Finder tool to find our where your nearest branch is and what services are available at your local branch.

www.postoffice.co.uk

 

[Howardh]

There's still a Post Office branch in Horwich on Winter Hey Road, isn't there?

Winter Hey Post Office® | Bolton | BL6 7NX

Use the Post Office Branch Finder tool to find our where your nearest branch is and what services are available at your local branch.

www.postoffice.co.uk

Thanks, haven't been past it for a while!

 

[bspahh]

The downside to paying in at a Post Office is that the cheque takes an absolute age to clear. The last time I tried to pay a cheque in at the PO I seem to recall requiring a special envelope from the bank, which I had to order as it hadn't supplied any!

I started by grumbling about the broken app from the "Send us a message" link in the app. That person mentioned that I could pay in at a Post Office. I then looked on the WWW site which said:

Paying in cheques​

1. You’ll need a pre-printed paying-in slip and a cheque deposit envelope

2. Fill in your details in your paying-in slip

3. Hand it over to the Post Office counter staff.

Cheques can take up to five working days to clear when paid in at a Post Office.

You can order more pre-printed paying-in slips and cheque deposit envelopes by calling us on 0800 169 30911 or visiting one of our branches.

I had some pre-printed paying slips, but none of the envelopes. I didn't try the phone number on the WWW site, but used the "Call us" option in the app and asked for some envelopes. They said they couldn't send them to me, but that I wouldn't need them, as the Post Office would have them. It did!

The cheque was added to my balance the next day as "POST OFFICE CREDIT". I assume that means it has cleared.

Back on topic ... I would still ban apps that try to be too clever when interpreting what I was aiming at when I take a photo.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

The cheque was added to my balance the next day as "POST OFFICE CREDIT". I assume that means it has cleared.

Not necessarily. Might just be when the items were processed.

 

[Lewisham2221]

Local "news" outlets insisting on the use of the term "beauty spot" to refer to just about any greenspace, including those little patches of grassy land you often find dotted around housing estates

 

[Brent Goose]

Southern seemed to be one of the later companies in paying delay repay via cheques rather than bank transfer, I suspected it was because it brought them some cash flow advantage and a number of them were never presented for payment due to the grief involved

 

[dangie]

Testicles……. There I’ve said it….

Now I know they have their uses, and are a necessary part of human reproduction, but when you get above a certain age and no longer require them, they are neither use nor ornament (ornament is debatable). They do nothing but give you trouble, pain and/or discomfort or all three at once. Even when they are old they still require the same looking after. They need protection from knocks, they need regular examination from the dreaded ‘C’.

Also, as a keen 74 year old cyclist, the pump bag has the habit of sliding itself down between your leg & saddle, resulting in pinching on every pedal stroke. I’ve had many strange looks when stopped at traffic lights, hand down my shorts, manoeuvring the Crown Jewels to a more comfortable area. Needs must.

So. My thoughts are, when you’ve decided you no longer need them, have them removed. I know it’s not that simple. You can’t just walk into your GP and say ‘I want my balls off please’, but maybe it should be. Quick out patients job.

Old age can be worrying at the best of times, but one less useless thing to worry about would be most welcome.

 

[cb a1]

Testicles……. There I’ve said it….

Even in our later years, they are still producing testosterone.
All hormones have lots of different effects which go well beyond their primary purpose.
I don't know if less testosterone would be better or worse overall, but it would probably make you a very different person (physically and mentally).

 

[Sun Chariot]

Testicles……. There I’ve said it….

Now I know they have their uses, and are a necessary part of human reproduction, but when you get above a certain age and no longer require them, they are neither use nor ornament (ornament is debatable). They do nothing but give you trouble, pain and/or discomfort or all three at once. Even when they are old they still require the same looking after. They need protection from knocks, they need regular examination from the dreaded ‘C’.

Also, as a keen 74 year old cyclist, the pump bag has the habit of sliding itself down between your leg & saddle, resulting in pinching on every pedal stroke. I’ve had many strange looks when stopped at traffic lights, hand down my shorts, manoeuvring the Crown Jewels to a more comfortable area. Needs must.

So. My thoughts are, when you’ve decided you no longer need them, have them removed. I know it’s not that simple. You can’t just walk into your GP and say ‘I want my balls off please’, but maybe it should be. Quick out patients job.

Old age can be worrying at the best of times, but one less useless thing to worry about would be most welcome.

Please. I cannot hold my wine glass because I'm laughing so much.

On a similar vein, I'd ban male hormones that, in our mid 50s, suddenly decide that we need hairs sprouting from our ears and out of the front - yes,  front - of our nose.

 

[Acey]

Testicles……. There I’ve said it….

Now I know they have their uses, and are a necessary part of human reproduction, but when you get above a certain age and no longer require them, they are neither use nor ornament (ornament is debatable). They do nothing but give you trouble, pain and/or discomfort or all three at once. Even when they are old they still require the same looking after. They need protection from knocks, they need regular examination from the dreaded ‘C’.

Also, as a keen 74 year old cyclist, the pump bag has the habit of sliding itself down between your leg & saddle, resulting in pinching on every pedal stroke. I’ve had many strange looks when stopped at traffic lights, hand down my shorts, manoeuvring the Crown Jewels to a more comfortable area. Needs must.

So. My thoughts are, when you’ve decided you no longer need them, have them removed. I know it’s not that simple. You can’t just walk into your GP and say ‘I want my balls off please’, but maybe it should be. Quick out patients job.

Old age can be worrying at the best of times, but one less useless thing to worry about would be most welcome.

Well ,at least you have an appropriate monicker !

 

[Bald Rick]

Testicles……. There I’ve said it….

Now I know they have their uses, and are a necessary part of human reproduction, but when you get above a certain age and no longer require them, they are neither use nor ornament (ornament is debatable). They do nothing but give you trouble, pain and/or discomfort or all three at once. Even when they are old they still require the same looking after. They need protection from knocks, they need regular examination from the dreaded ‘C’.

Also, as a keen 74 year old cyclist, the pump bag has the habit of sliding itself down between your leg & saddle, resulting in pinching on every pedal stroke. I’ve had many strange looks when stopped at traffic lights, hand down my shorts, manoeuvring the Crown Jewels to a more comfortable area. Needs must.

So. My thoughts are, when you’ve decided you no longer need them, have them removed. I know it’s not that simple. You can’t just walk into your GP and say ‘I want my balls off please’, but maybe it should be. Quick out patients job.

Old age can be worrying at the best of times, but one less useless thing to worry about would be most welcome.

I’m sorry, but you’re talking bo**ocks.

 

[Gloster]

I’m sorry, but you’re tslkigm bo**ocks.

Or, to put it another way, a consignment of geriatric shoe-repairers. (A load of old c*bbl*rs.)

 

[Sun Chariot]

I’m sorry, but you’re talking bo**ocks.

Or its verb form, "testiculating"

 

[Purple Train]

I'd like to ban myself from reading amusing posts on the Forum while trying to take medicine...

 

[Falcon1200]

Not sure I'd want anyone taking a sharp knife to that area of my anatomy. Imagine if they ballsed it up....

 

[Indigo Soup]

Not sure I'd want anyone taking a sharp knife to that area of my anatomy. Imagine if they ballsed it up....

Local farmers can probably provide better advice, but a tight elastic band does the trick perfectly well for wethers and bullocks.

 

[dangie]

Even in our later years, they are still producing testosterone.
All hormones have lots of different effects which go well beyond their primary purpose.
I don't know if less testosterone would be better or worse overall, but it would probably make you a very different person (physically and mentally).

Yes I see that, but how long would it take for the reduction in testosterone to change Dave to Davina or Jack to Jackie? At 74 years old, worth the risk? Maybe the odd hormone jab every now & then could sort that out. On the plus side could I re-grow a full head of hair? Something I haven’t had for many years

 

[dcbwhaley]

One day I hope that ATM's can take cheques and notes seeing as bank branches disappear weekly.

Some Santander ATMs allow you to pay in cheques
But only the ones at branches

 

[dangie]

American television dramas which are still showing the opening credits 10 minutes into the programme. Wouldn’t be quite so bad, but the wife needs to have subtitles on. So along with the credits plus subtitles overlaying each other it’s all impossible to read.

 

[SuspectUsual]

Online forms that when filling them in using a phone and getting to a field that can only be populated by numbers, doesn’t automatically change from alpha to numeric keypad on the phone

I probably haven’t explained that very well, but a lot of websites manage it and it’s always a minor irritant and possible tut/harumph when one gets it wrong

 

[gg1]

American television dramas which are still showing the opening credits 10 minutes into the programme. Wouldn’t be quite so bad, but the wife needs to have subtitles on. So along with the credits plus subtitles overlaying each other it’s all impossible to read.

Also subtitles which paraphrase what the characters are saying rather than giving an accurate representation of the speech.

 

[Gloster]

Also subtitles which paraphrase what the characters are saying rather than giving an accurate representation of the speech.

That can sometimes be a bit difficult if people are speaking fast, or even at a normal rate but without pauses that allow the reader to catch up before they restart or another person starts speaking. I suspect that this is another lost art of TV: the people who wrote the subtitles for years became adept at judging what could be paraphrased or omitted without causing problems for the viewers. Nowadays there are probably far fewer specialists and the job gets handed out to whoever can do it cheapest…and who cares about feedback or complaints.

 

[Jimini]

That can sometimes be a bit difficult if people are speaking fast, or even at a normal rate but without pauses that allow the reader to catch up before they restart or another person starts speaking. I suspect that this is another lost art of TV: the people who wrote the subtitles for years became adept at judging what could be paraphrased or omitted without causing problems for the viewers. Nowadays there are probably far fewer specialists and the job gets handed out to whoever can do it cheapest…and who cares about feedback or complaints.

...or A.I does it for free.

 

[AM9]

Yes I see that, but how long would it take for the reduction in testosterone to change Dave to Davina or Jack to Jackie? At 74 years old, worth the risk? Maybe the odd hormone jab every now & then could sort that out. On the plus side could I re-grow a full head of hair? Something I haven’t had for many years

Well with men, the DNA losing control in later years can increase the size of ears, nose and testicles, (which can be sung to the kids exercise tune of Head Shoulders Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes; but don't try it in front of the grandchildren, especially repeating the genital name)!

 

[gg1]

That can sometimes be a bit difficult if people are speaking fast, or even at a normal rate but without pauses that allow the reader to catch up before they restart or another person starts speaking. I suspect that this is another lost art of TV: the people who wrote the subtitles for years became adept at judging what could be paraphrased or omitted without causing problems for the viewers. Nowadays there are probably far fewer specialists and the job gets handed out to whoever can do it cheapest…and who cares about feedback or complaints.

Fair point, I'm a fast reader so that aspect isn't really a problem for me. Some series are definitely worse than others though.

...or A.I does it for free.

More recent series tend to be worse IME so you might be on to something there.

 

[dcbwhaley]

Online forms that when filling them in using a phone and getting to a field that can only be populated by numbers, doesn’t automatically change from alpha to numeric keypad on the phone

I probably haven’t explained that very well, but a lot of websites manage it and it’s always a minor irritant and possible tut/harumph when one gets it wrong

Online forms which don't automatically move the focus to the first field,
Especially annoying when there is only one field

 

[Peter C]

Online forms which don't automatically move the focus to the first field,
Especially annoying when there is only one field

And another thing with online forms - trying to find whether they've gone for 'England', 'Britain', 'Great Britain', or 'United Kingdom' in a drop-down list of countries. Often it's the last of those and it's tucked in with the rest of the U's but sometimes it's at the top of the list.

I'd also ban people saying 'you couldn't show this on telly these days' when the programme they're watching is something really tame. I have actually heard someone say that whilst they were watching Morecambe & Wise's 'Grieg's Piano Concerto' sketch with Andre Previn, which of course is perfectly innocent. People saying this normally miss out the fact that you can show the relevant programme, and that it is being shown on TV as they're saying you can't show it these days...

-Peter