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Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

gg1

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Being topless in public.
Definitely.

I saw some very unpleasant sights in Blackpool over the weekend, I would never dream of subjecting random strangers to the sight of my middle aged moobs but the place was awash with men both older and in worse physical condition than me showing far too much flesh.
 
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birchesgreen

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Do see some awful sights this time of year. Far too many tattoos, big beer bellies hanging down, chaotic facial hair.

And the men are even worse.
 

Busaholic

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Do see some awful sights this time of year. Far too many tattoos, big beer bellies hanging down, chaotic facial hair.

And the men are even worse.
Why are British men of every age so keen to display so much of their legs? When I go for my Costa coffee even in August adult men are more likely to be exhibitionists than women. Put your legs away, they are disgusting! Other European countries haven't adopted these habits away from the beach.
 

Richard Scott

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Why are British men of every age so keen to display so much of their legs? When I go for my Costa coffee even in August adult men are more likely to be exhibitionists than women. Put your legs away, they are disgusting! Other European countries haven't adopted these habits away from the beach.
Just been to Romania, Croatia and Czech with some pretty awful sites to be seen there too so afraid they have adopted these habits.
 

PeterY

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Do see some awful sights this time of year. Far too many tattoos, big beer bellies hanging down, chaotic facial hair.

And the men are even worse.
Funniest post of the day :D :D :D

I volunteer in a charity shop and some of the sights I see ain't pretty :'(
 

Gloster

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I am not sure if this should be here or in the Supermarkets thread. People (a woman) who rack up a massive shop, over £100 reached by adding a couple of packets of chewing gum when they saw the initial total, sort out their trolley, then take out a wallet of supermarket loyalty cards and unsuccessfully try one after another. They then look around, see the Tesco sign and say ‘Oh, it’s Tesco.’ Their husband then says, ‘They took our Tesco card away’, and the wife just says, ‘I won’t bother then’, and they walk out of the shop leaving everything. The till woman comes round to put everything back through to be cancelled and while she doing this the shopper comes back and asks, ‘Are there any other supermarkets here?’ After being told that there is nothing nearer than Ryde or Newport, the woman says, ‘That’s not very good’, and leaves again.
 

island

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I am not sure if this should be here or in the Supermarkets thread. People (a woman) who rack up a massive shop, over £100 reached by adding a couple of packets of chewing gum when they saw the initial total, sort out their trolley, then take out a wallet of supermarket loyalty cards and unsuccessfully try one after another. They then look around, see the Tesco sign and say ‘Oh, it’s Tesco.’ Their husband then says, ‘They took our Tesco card away’, and the wife just says, ‘I won’t bother then’, and they walk out of the shop leaving everything. The till woman comes round to put everything back through to be cancelled and while she doing this the shopper comes back and asks, ‘Are there any other supermarkets here?’ After being told that there is nothing nearer than Ryde or Newport, the woman says, ‘That’s not very good’, and leaves again.
Is that an actual thing or a comedy sketch?

Tesco doesn't randomly take people's clubcards away!
 

Gloster

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Is that an actual thing or a comedy sketch?

Tesco doesn't randomly take people's clubcards away!

I can only repeat the course of events and what was said: I was next in the queue. I presume that all supermarkets will either take away or block cards in certain circumstances, maybe he meant the latter.
 

Busaholic

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I can only repeat the course of events and what was said: I was next in the queue. I presume that all supermarkets will either take away or block cards in certain circumstances, maybe he meant the latter.
A perverse attempt to 'shame' Tesco, I'd say, for blocking their Clubcard, not that Tesco gives a damn. It only impacts other, real customers and the poor employee who has to return the goods to the shelf. I've seen something similar happen in the past. Some people are just a pain wherever they go!
 

dangie

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… and the poor employee who has to return the goods to the shelf.…
Those who when half way around their shop decide that an item they put into their basket/trolley they no longer want so instead of returning it to where they got it they simply dump it on the nearest shelf.
 

Peter Mugridge

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Those who when half way around their shop decide that an item they put into their basket/trolley they no longer want so instead of returning it to where they got it they simply dump it on the nearest shelf.
Guilty as charged, but only when the supermarket has decided to rather stupidly put two different bits of the same product half a store apart...

...as I did in Tesco three weeks ago; they only had small Marmite jars in the place where all the condiments of every type are shelved, so I put one in the trolley. Several aisles later, I found - on their own - I shelf section with the large jars ( and no other condiments anywhere near ). Naturally I placed a large jar in the trolley and left the small one with the large ones for the store to sort out.

Which gives me a chance to ban:

Stores that put different sizes of the same product in two separate places. It's totally idiotic...
 

Busaholic

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Guilty as charged, but only when the supermarket has decided to rather stupidly put two different bits of the same product half a store apart...

...as I did in Tesco three weeks ago; they only had small Marmite jars in the place where all the condiments of every type are shelved, so I put one in the trolley. Several aisles later, I found - on their own - I shelf section with the large jars ( and no other condiments anywhere near ). Naturally I placed a large jar in the trolley and left the small one with the large ones for the store to sort out.

Which gives me a chance to ban:

Stores that put different sizes of the same product in two separate places. It's totally idiotic...
It's to keep you on your toes. :smile:
 

GusB

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Guilty as charged, but only when the supermarket has decided to rather stupidly put two different bits of the same product half a store apart...
As long as you're not dumping a chilled product in the freezer when you discover the frozen equivalent is cheaper (or vice-versa). That's an offence that hanging should be brought back for! :)
 

GatwickDepress

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As long as you're not dumping a chilled product in the freezer when you discover the frozen equivalent is cheaper (or vice-versa). That's an offence that hanging should be brought back for! :)
The amount of meat I used to find dumped on ambient shelves or in the clothing section, ugh.
 

dangie

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Currently traveling down the M1 through Yorkshire & Nottinghamshire returning from a coach holiday. Traffic queues are horrendous. For mile after mile one lane is coned off. For what I don't know. There are signs every few hundred yards saying 'We are also working night shifts'.

Well that's bl**dy good to know because no one appears to be working day shifts..!!

Update: Occasionally there will be signs of digging with a parked up JCB but no sign of life.
 
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Peter Mugridge

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As long as you're not dumping a chilled product in the freezer when you discover the frozen equivalent is cheaper (or vice-versa). That's an offence that hanging should be brought back for! :)
No, I don't do that, don't worry.

Mind you, one of my ancestors did sentence a lot of people to hanging and deporting ( not the same people, obviously... ).
 

Gloster

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Not something that directly affects me and is any victim’s own stupid fault. People who mow the lawn in flip-flops or bare feet, even tugging the mower after them or bouncing it over ridges. It was banged into my head early on that a lawnmower can cut through your feet and you should always wear solid shoes: you might end up with a bad bruise or even a cut and a wrecked shoe, but all your foot will still be there.
 

jfollows

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Not something that directly affects me and is any victim’s own stupid fault. People who mow the lawn in flip-flops or bare feet, even tugging the mower after them or bouncing it over ridges. It was banged into my head early on that a lawnmower can cut through your feet and you should always wear solid shoes: you might end up with a bad bruise or even a cut and a wrecked shoe, but all your foot will still be there.
Along with an earth leakage circuit breaker which costs something like £10 and might save your life.
 

dangie

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People, and without being sexist it’s usually women, who when slicing a potato hold it in the palm of their hand and cut into the potato towards their thumb & first finger. Really makes me cringe and look away.

Note: My mother used to do it, my mother-in-law used to do it, and unfortunately my wife also does it.
 

DelW

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Currently traveling down the M1 through Yorkshire & Nottinghamshire returning from a coach holiday. Traffic queues are horrendous. For mile after mile one lane is coned off. For what I don't know. There are signs every few hundred yards saying 'We are also working night shifts'.

Well that's bl**dy good to know because no one appears to be working day shifts..!!

Update: Occasionally there will be signs of digging with a parked up JCB but no sign of life.
This is rampant on motorways all over the country at present. In most cases it's to add extra refuge areas to not-as-smart-as-they-ought-to-be motorways. The cost of retrofitting them is probably at least 10 times what they would have cost if installed during the original conversion, from which they were value-engineered out. And that's without considering the cost of the widespread congestion and consequential delays. Meanwhile successive governments bemoan Britain's poor productivity figures. Probably the DfT officials who instructed refuges to be reduced from one every half mile to one every two miles have been rewarded with a promotion to cause havoc elsewhere.
 

Calthrop

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No, but that is my ancestor! :lol:

He's my great*10 or great*12 ( I forget how many greats exactly!! And why can't we do superscript on here...? ) grandfather on my mother's mother's side.
I understand that Judge J. suffered from a painful kidney disease; on medical advice, no doubt thought to be "on the money" at the time, he copiously imbibed "alcoholic refreshment" to alleviate symptoms of same. This combination likely played a part in his notorious harshness and ferocity in the aftermath of the Monmouth rebellion -- understandable, even though not excusing his conduct. (Being "under the influence" tends to make some people jolly and benign, suffering notwithstanding; it would seem that your ancestor was not in that category !)
 

Peter Mugridge

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I understand that Judge J. suffered from a painful kidney disease; on medical advice, no doubt thought to be "on the money" at the time, he copiously imbibed "alcoholic refreshment" to alleviate symptoms of same. This combination likely played a part in his notorious harshness and ferocity in the aftermath of the Monmouth rebellion -- understandable, even though not excusing his conduct. (Being "under the influence" tends to make some people jolly and benign, suffering notwithstanding; it would seem that your ancestor was not in that category !)
Yes... past medical advice is certainly frequently wide of the mark; I'd suspect part of his ferocity might have been due to pressure from his boss ( James II ) wanting to make sure the rebels were not in a position to try again? He still ended up in the Tower anyway, but fell ill and died before he could be given a taste of his own medicine.

Allegedly, his burial place - depending on which source you believe as there are two versions - may well have been under where Liverpool Street station is today.

...and I think we should avoid further discussion in this thread or someone will no doubt post about banning off topic discussion...!! o_O
 

dangie

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Not really an annoyance apart from the noise, more of bewilderment, but for the last few days a car has been driven past our house with a totally flat tyre.
 

GordonT

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Another one; people who expect immediate replies in WhatsApp just because they notice the two blue ticks of you having read their previous message.
Or anybody who expects immediate replies to anything and then sends a row of question marks if they don't get their instant reply.
 

dangie

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Not an annoyance or irritation as such, as it doesn’t affect me in any way, but for some reason it winds me up when I see contestants on quiz shows who frankly would struggle to answer their own name. Last week one question was ‘In which European country would you find the regions of Brittany, Normandy & Aquitaine? The contestant answered ‘England’
 

gg1

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Not an annoyance or irritation as such, as it doesn’t affect me in any way, but for some reason it winds me up when I see contestants on quiz shows who frankly would struggle to answer their own name. Last week one question was ‘In which European country would you find the regions of Brittany, Normandy & Aquitaine? The contestant answered ‘England’
There will have been auditions before deciding who will be put forward as contestants for the programme. I've often wondered if the producers of some quiz shows deliberately choose a few people who aren't too bright for their comedy value.
 
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Not an annoyance or irritation as such, as it doesn’t affect me in any way, but for some reason it winds me up when I see contestants on quiz shows who frankly would struggle to answer their own name. Last week one question was ‘In which European country would you find the regions of Brittany, Normandy & Aquitaine? The contestant answered ‘England’
On the other hand, it's irritates me that many of the contestants in today's game shows, particularly the ones with high stakes like Million Pound Drop or am Ant & Dec's Limitless win, have job titles such as marketing executive or financial director. I have nothing against the wealthy taking part in these game shows, but it feels like an uneven split. Where are the forklift driver/housewife combinations that used to frequent Bullseye every week?
 

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