Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Busaholic]

Guildford Borough or Surrey County Council, whichever it is, for not bothering to put street names up, even on main roads. I know it is forty-five years since I visited the town, but despite having a sketch map I had to ask three times what road I was in.

It's to confuse the Russians, or maybe the Chinese, when they invade.

 

[bspahh]

People who use the word space. A green space, er... it's a park, a blue space, that's the sea, a sleeping space, well that's a bedroom. What is wrong with them!

This is sooooo irritating!

For buildings, I agree. I used to share a house with a mixture of architects and building engineers. The architects talked about space. The building engineers talked about walls.

I think astronauts and linguists should be allowed to refer to space.

 

[azt]

Out of interest were any of them American?

It's my view that they want to take over the whole of the English language and call it here own! They just invent alternatives and then it's not English any more, it's American.

I'm really in despair, the English language is falling apart! Over-run by Americanisms!

 

[Purple Train]

It's my view that they want to take over the whole of the English language and call it here own! They just invent alternatives and then it's not English any more, it's American.

I'm really in despair, the English language is falling apart! Over-run by Americanisms!

Hear, hear! (I shall allow the emboldened if it is a consequence of autocorrect )

I do have a copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves in front of me, so maybe I'm just in an unusually agitated mood regarding punctuation. Now all I need to do is make sure I don't take my permanent marker away with me...

 

[Ostrich]

Cyclists who silently come up behind you when you're walking on a shared path and whizz narrowly past you.

There is a solution to this. Forget dinky bells. Every cyclist should, by law, be forced to mount on their bikes and use an old-fashioned car horn.

"AArrrruugggHA!"

 

[gabrielhj07]

People leaving the toilet door open on trains.

 

[Sun Chariot]

I think astronauts and linguists should be allowed to refer to space.

As should spacially-challenged motorists - so they can learn to park in just one of 'em.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 6 Jun 2024 ==

People leaving the toilet door open on trains.

When vacant, or when occupied?

 

[gabrielhj07]

When vacant, or when occupied?

I was thinking more of when vacant I must say.

 

[KT550]

Guildford Borough or Surrey County Council, whichever it is, for not bothering to put street names up, even on main roads. I know it is forty-five years since I visited the town, but despite having a sketch map I had to ask three times what road I was in.

Bigger towns and cities are guilty of this too.

I use Google maps when walking about but it's nice to have confirmation that you've taken the correct road, especially at busy intersections with multiple choices.

Particularly so when you're against the clock with a train to catch.

 

[birchesgreen]

Birmingham is pretty good for street signs, unfortunately there are so many cars parked on pavements now you can't see the signs half the time!

 

[Hadlow Road]

Street signs? And councils that dig holes and plant two posts, when there is a perfectly good wall on which to affix the sign. Yes, they would need permission from the wall’s owner, but they could adopt this cost-saving (actually simply not wasting) measure on their own walls.

 

[dangie]

I'm really in despair, the English language is falling apart! Over-run by Americanisms!

Most if not all from television.
The number of times we had to correct our young grandson when reciting the alphabet that it was X, Y, [ZED] not X, Y, [ZEE]

 

[Gloster]

Morrisons having ‘We are always looking for new delivery drivers’, or something like that, on the back of their home delivery trucks. Having to advertise for staff on the vehicle suggests that they are not exactly sought after jobs. Why not be honest and say ‘We have a high turnover of home delivery drivers because the pay is lousy, the conditions abysmal and the hours long.’

 

[AM9]

Most if not all from television.
The number of times we had to correct our young grandson when reciting the alphabet that it was X, Y, [ZED] not X, Y, [ZEE]

Does their version of the alphabet have a 'haitch'?

 

[Ted633]

Cyclists who silently come up behind you when you're walking on a shared path and whizz narrowly past you.

There is a solution to this. Forget dinky bells. Every cyclist should, by law, be forced to mount on their bikes and use an old-fashioned car horn.

"AArrrruugggHA!"

Yes, a polite ding is always appreciated. However, the best solution is properly segregated paths so there is no conflict. When I'm cycling, I don't use the shared paths beside a road as they are a nuisance, constantly having to slow down for pedestrians and crossing side roads

 

[gg1]

Cyclists who silently come up behind you when you're walking on a shared path and whizz narrowly past you.

There is a solution to this. Forget dinky bells. Every cyclist should, by law, be forced to mount on their bikes and use an old-fashioned car horn.

"AArrrruugggHA!"

A compulsory bit of card in the spokes is another option.

 

[AM9]

A compulsory bit of card in the spokes is another option.

Having a horn on a bike doesn't mean that it will be used.

 

[dangie]

This could go in the UK General Election 2024 thread, but as it is so blindingly obvious I’ll put it here.

From the BBC:
Trust and confidence in the UK’s politics and election system has never been worse, according to analysis by the electoral expert, Sir John Curtice.

Why does it need an expert to tell us that? Ask anyone in the street.

Sir John Curtice: Damaged politics sees voter trust at record low

New research finds voters "almost never" trust politicians to tell the truth or put the UK first.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Gloster]

A variant on one of my early posts in this thread. People who stand around in bus or railway stations with their dogs on extendable leads which they allow to run out to their maximum. When the hounds get mixed up with people hurrying to catch their bus or train, they tell them that ’he is only playing’ or ‘how much the dog likes you’. Meanwhile your bus or train disappears off into the wild blue yonder while you disentangle yourself.

 

[birchesgreen]

A variant on one of my early posts in this thread. People who stand around in bus or railway stations with their dogs on extendable leads which they allow to run out to their maximum. When the hounds get mixed up with people hurrying to catch their bus or train, they tell them that ’he is only playing’ or ‘how much the dog likes you’. Meanwhile your bus or train disappears off into the wild blue yonder while you disentangle yourself.

Happen to you a lot does it?

 

[al78]

Yes, a polite ding is always appreciated. However, the best solution is properly segregated paths so there is no conflict. When I'm cycling, I don't use the shared paths beside a road as they are a nuisance, constantly having to slow down for pedestrians and crossing side roads

I tend to agree. Some pedestrians, especially those with dogs, are hard-wired to consume the maximum amount of space possible so even when there is theoretically plenty of room for a cyclist and pedestrian to pass each other safely with a bit of care/negotiation and optimal positioning, the pedestrian will position themselves in the middle of the path, perfectly preventing anyone from passing on either side. The dog walker will walk on one side of the path and have his/her dog sniffing every square inch of the grass verge on the other side with an extendible lead between the two, forcing anyone, cyclist or pedestrian, down to a quarter of their normal walking pace.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 14 Jun 2024 ==

Having a horn on a bike doesn't mean that it will be used.

Using a horn isn't a good idea, it will startle the pedestrian who will then leap in an unpredictable direction, probably right in front of you. It is also antisocial, sounding like a get-out-of-my-way attitude, and will just fuel animosity between cyclists and pedestrians. My bell is loud enough to be heard without making someone jump by all but smartphone users, for whom the edge of the visible universe is 18 inches from their body.

 

[dangie]

Yes, a polite ding is always appreciated.…

I’ve had comments like ‘don’t ring that f…..in bell at me…!!’

Also those walking with ear/headphones, where no matter how much you ring your bell they can’t hear you. So you approach them slowly, try to creep past, then get abuse because they didn’t know you were there.

Sometimes you just can’t win

 

[Strat-tastic]

Keep ringing; I appreciate it.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I’ve had comments like ‘don’t ring that f…..in bell at me…!!’

Also those walking with ear/headphones, where no matter how much you ring your bell they can’t hear you. So you approach them slowly, try to creep past, then get abuse because they didn’t know you were there.

Sometimes you just can’t win

Earlier today I had a cyclist almost come a cropper over my bonnet because he was cycling with his earbuds in. Luckily I'd spotted that he had them in as they were bright red, so was ready and covering the brakes in case he swerved into my path, which he did.

He was also cycling on the pavement until he swerved into the road without checking over his shoulder, though that of course is already banned- just not enforced!

 

[Peter Mugridge]

Earlier today I had a cyclist almost come a cropper over my bonnet because he was cycling with his earbuds in. Luckily I'd spotted that he had them in as they were bright red, so was ready and covering the brakes in case he swerved into my path, which he did.

He was also cycling on the pavement until he swerved into the road without checking over his shoulder, though that of course is already banned- just not enforced!

I hope you sounded the horn at that thrombosis* as loudly and long as possible when you stood on the brakes...?


*A bloody clot loose in the system

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I hope you sounded the horn at that thrombosis* as loudly and long as possible when you stood on the brakes...?


*A bloody clot loose in the system

Not at all. I'd given a quick polite warning "toot" as I'd seen he was probably going to move into my path to avoid a pedestrian coming the other way on the pavement. He didn't react to this so I was on the brakes ready for him. Using my horn to "discipline" other road users is something I try to avoid, though I did lower my window and advised him to pay more attention so he doesn't end up being a statistic... in not quite so many words!

 

[dangie]

I’m a motorist, a cyclist & a pedestrian, but obviously not all at the same time. At any one time there are many of each about. The vast majority of each you don’t remember. You only remember the few.

 

[Purple Train]

On the device I'm using, the screen brightness automatically decreases when it isn't plugged in. I find it incredibly irritating when either the screen brightness goes down when it is plugged in, or it is not plugged in and the brightness does not decrease (it's a useful feature, as the charger is... fickle).

 

[Gloster]

Keats may have described autumn as being a ‘season of mists and mellow fruitfulness’. Why does summer have to be a season of charcoal smoke and eye-watering levels of barbecue sauce? If Putin ever does invade we won’t need to bother with NBC warfare, we’ll just light the barbecue.

 

[dangie]

To save beginning a new thread I’ll add to this one.
Wifey & I have been invited to a family (wife’s side) gathering that we don’t wish to go to. Nothing personally against the family as individuals, but when they get together it often ends in some arguments & unpleasantness. So we are in thought as to thinking of good reasons not to attend.

What reasons have forum members come up with to get out of something?