Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[nlogax]

I get that pubs have to do food, but why do I always seem to end up stuck in the same room as the person who has to put fifteen litres of vinegar on their food, thus stinking out the whole pub.

The smell of vinegar in pubs is absolutely rank. Probably doesn't help that vinegar is often served in sachets which don't stand up to any sort of robust handling..cue vinegar everywhere. Ban those damned sachets!

 

[Gloster]

Groups, sometimes only a couple of people, who get on three-quarter empty buses and then have to have a lengthy discussion about where they are going to sit. As they are often elderly (or young women in high-heels) the driver has to wait until they have finally made up their mind before starting off to avoid precipitating them face-first on the floor (That’ld learn ‘em). They often get on at one of the last stops before the bus station and spend nearly as long discussing as travelling.

 

[yorksrob]

The smell of vinegar in pubs is absolutely rank. Probably doesn't help that vinegar is often served in sachets which don't stand up to any sort of robust handling..cue vinegar everywhere. Ban those damned sachets!

Indeed. Fortunately the stench has now passed !

 

[D6130]

The smell of vinegar in pubs is absolutely rank. Probably doesn't help that vinegar is often served in sachets which don't stand up to any sort of robust handling..cue vinegar everywhere. Ban those damned sachets!

IMHO, the two all-pervading smells in food-orientated pubs that are even worse than that of vinegar are:

(1) Stale cooking oil from the kitchen fryers

and

(2) Creamy smoked fish throughout the premises

Both the above destroy both the aroma and flavour of cask-conditioned ale and make it go flat almost as soon as it has been poured.

 

[GusB]

(2) Creamy smoked fish throughout the premises

A former colleague of mine would often bring a tub of homemade soup to have on her meal break; the whole building knew when it was Cullen Skunk!

 

[yorksrob]

IMHO, the two all-pervading smells in food-orientated pubs that are even worse than that of vinegar are:

(1) Stale cooking oil from the kitchen fryers

and

(2) Creamy smoked fish throughout the premises

Both the above destroy both the aroma and flavour of cask-conditioned ale and make it go flat almost as soon as it has been poured.

Yes, smelling like a chippie isn't conducive to an enjoyable pint !

 

[JD2168]

The smell of vinegar in pubs is absolutely rank. Probably doesn't help that vinegar is often served in sachets which don't stand up to any sort of robust handling..cue vinegar everywhere. Ban those damned sachets!

Those sachets of Vinegar & other sauces are a real pain as they are awful to open & use with most sauce going everywhere except where you tend to want it to go.

 

[Techniquest]

You all seem to having bad luck with your packets then, more often than not I'm usually all good with mine Perhaps it's just pubs they send the dodgy packaging to, as the ones I get on my rare trips to Burger King or even occasionally Pret open without any significant issue

 

[Purple Train]

Viscous sachet vinegar is bordering on sacrilege. Proper non-brewed condiment comes from a bottle as a few drops of lovely liquid

 

[duncanp]

Viscous sachet vinegar is bordering on sacrilege. Proper non-brewed condiment comes from a bottle as a few drops of lovely liquid

Can we just ban sachets all together.

Some of them can be difficult to open, and when you do finally manage to open them the contents squirt everywhere except, of course, where you wanted them to go.

 

[32475]

I’d like to nominate the pessimism of the online BBC weather forecast.
For example my local forecast for tomorrow says ‘Thundery showers and a gentle breeze’ complete with a graphic of rain, lightning, doom and gloom.
The reality is that all day is going to be warm, dry and sunny except for a very brief slot around 2pm when there is only a 34% chance of the advertised conflagration.

 

[dangie]

Supermarket shoppers who appear to be unable to return their trolley back to a ‘trolley parking place’ instead of leaving it n the middle of the car park.

 

[xotGD]

Back to food in pubs, can I ban the practice of setting out tables so that they look like tables in a restaurant? You never know whether you'll be told to shift if you sit there just to have a pint.

 

[Gloster]

I’d like to nominate the pessimism of the online BBC weather forecast.
For example my local forecast for tomorrow says ‘Thundery showers and a gentle breeze’ complete with a graphic of rain, lightning, doom and gloom.
The reality is that all day is going to be warm, dry and sunny except for a very brief slot around 2pm when there is only a 34% chance of the advertised conflagration.

Better that you have due warning that it is best to prepare for the reasonable worst possibility than you are told that it will be absolutely lovely and get soaked in a cloudburst. Trying to explain the complexities and probabilities over a large area is quite impossible to do simply or quickly: even an on-line forecast for a location has to be averaged over quite an area. And don’t forget that the majority of people are going to look at the site for only a few seconds and wouldn’t understand the detail if they stared at it for an hour. The weather forecast has to take into account that most people are idiots with the attention span of a mayfly.

 

[birchesgreen]

I’d like to nominate the pessimism of the online BBC weather forecast.
For example my local forecast for tomorrow says ‘Thundery showers and a gentle breeze’ complete with a graphic of rain, lightning, doom and gloom.
The reality is that all day is going to be warm, dry and sunny except for a very brief slot around 2pm when there is only a 34% chance of the advertised conflagration.

BBC website does that all the time, the day summary graphic will be rain but when you look at the hour by hour its mostly sunshine.

 

[dangie]

I’d like to nominate the pessimism of the online BBC weather forecast.
For example my local forecast for tomorrow says ‘Thundery showers and a gentle breeze’ complete with a graphic of rain, lightning, doom and gloom.
The reality is that all day is going to be warm, dry and sunny except for a very brief slot around 2pm when there is only a 34% chance of the advertised conflagration.

Last week, Saturday till Tuesday, we were in the Southern Lake District. Each day the forecast was rain, wind, rain etc…. In the four days we did two cycle rides & two walks with more blue sky than cloud and didn’t get wet once. Why do they bother…..??

 

[GusB]

Supermarket shoppers who appear to be unable to return their trolley back to a ‘trolley parking place’ instead of leaving it n the middle of the car park.

And those who, when they do return their trolleys to the right place, put the small trolleys in with the big ones (and vice versa). There's a special place in hell for them.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Supermarket shoppers who appear to be unable to return their trolley back to a ‘trolley parking place’ instead of leaving it n the middle of the car park.

Don't actually mind that, particularly so if there's a £1 coin refund to be had! "Every little helps", and all that!

 

[py_megapixel]

Supermarket shoppers who appear to be unable to return their trolley back to a ‘trolley parking place’ instead of leaving it n the middle of the car park.

And those who, when they do return their trolleys to the right place, put the small trolleys in with the big ones (and vice versa). There's a special place in hell for them.

What about people who add to a line of trolleys which is already overflowing its designated area and causing an obstruction, when the next one is almost empty and they could put it there instead with just a few extra steps...

 

[GusB]

What about people who add to a line of trolleys which is already overflowing its designated area and causing an obstruction, when the next one is almost empty and they could put it there instead with just a few extra steps...

They'll burn too!

 

[Busaholic]

Supermarket shoppers who appear to be unable to return their trolley back to a ‘trolley parking place’ instead of leaving it n the middle of the car park.

I'd agree with you except in the case of Sainsbury's, Penzance, which appears to have a policy of not refilling the trolley park directly outside the store after mid morning, so people quickly grab any they see lying around nearby.

 

[Bald Rick]

I’d like to nominate the pessimism of the online BBC weather forecast.

I’d like to nominate the optimism of the online BBC weather forecast.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been soaked following a forecast showing <5% chance of rain, and on at least three occasions 0%.

 

[Lucan]

I’d like to nominate the pessimism of the online BBC weather forecast.

They have been defensively pessimistic ever since their bungled forecast of October 1987, when the worst UK storm in 300 years caused £billions of damage and killed 18 people. But the previous day the forecaster (Michael Fish) had famously said :
“Earlier on today, apparently, a woman rang the BBC and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way. Well, if you’re watching, don’t worry, there isn’t!”
Fish later said that technically it was not a hurricane, but it remains the worst weather forecasting FUBAR of all time.

 

[Techniquest]

I’d like to nominate the optimism of the online BBC weather forecast.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been soaked following a forecast showing <5% chance of rain, and on at least three occasions 0%.

I stopped believing the BBC weather forecast a long time ago, having once gone out with it reporting full sun all day and then got hail coming on me around 30 minutes later. I wasn't best impressed! It hadn't been too accurate for a while before that, but that was the last straw.

More often than not I use the Met Office app, and it's not perfect but I have more faith in that than other weather forecasting services.

 

[duncanp]

Can we ban people from going into a coffee shop, plugging their phone into a power point, and then just sitting there for 15 minutes charging up their phone whilst not buying anything.

A coffee shop is for, er, drinking coffee, not a source of free electricity or internet access, nor is it a public toilet.

 

[Lucan]

Can we just ban sachets all together.

Some of them can be difficult to open and when you do finally manage to open them the contents squirt everywhere .....

The mess does not stop there - after that, half of them end up on the floor. I was in a Weatherspoons yesterday (not my choice, I was a guest) and the floor was littered with the disgusting things. The staff seem to have cleared our table, but it looked like the floor was not in their remit.

I don't even like seeing the ones from my fellow diners, lying around on the table, looking for all the world like discarded condom wrappers, and oozing out their remaining contents. My 8 yo nephew likes squirting every availble type of sachet onto his dinner, whether or not it suits the serving.

 

[52290]

I stopped believing the BBC weather forecast a long time ago, having once gone out with it reporting full sun all day and then got hail coming on me around 30 minutes later. I wasn't best impressed! It hadn't been too accurate for a while before that, but that was the last straw.

More often than not I use the Met Office app, and it's not perfect but I have more faith in that than other weather forecasting services.

I don't like the TV weather forecasters, after predicting heavy rain,saying that at least gardeners will welcome it. Well I'm a gardener and I don't like rain because it makes the grass grow and I have to go out and mow the lawn.

 

[Purple Train]

Can we ban people from going into a coffee shop, plugging their phone into a power point, and then just sitting there for 15 minutes charging up their phone whilst not buying anything.

A coffee shop is for, er, drinking coffee, not a source of free electricity or internet access, nor is it a public toilet.

To be fair, public toilets are few and far between (but it is as easy as ever to need one). It is also as easy to require a public toilet as it is to require a charging point, and not everyone will have a charged power pack to hand.

And who would drink coffee anyway? Ban it.

 

[43096]

Organisation that add a booking fee onto tickets bought through their website. Just put in the price and be honest with people.

Nene Valley Railway, I'm looking at you currently...

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Can we ban people from going into a coffee shop, plugging their phone into a power point, and then just sitting there for 15 minutes charging up their phone whilst not buying anything.

Reckon anyone trying that stunt at an independent cafe or coffee shop would soon be asked by the proprietor or manager (politely or otherwise) to Foxtrot Oscar.