Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[krus_aragon]

Such as when Standard Life "rebranded" themselves to "ABRDN"

Just what is the point of that?

Clearly someone thought that having any vowels in the name would make it A Burden.

I ban people from claiming the proof's in the pudding.
What does that even mean?

That they've poured plenty of spirits into the pudding mixture. :P

 

[Strat-tastic]

It is short for ‘the proof of the pudding is in the eating’. You can have all sorts of theories and ideas, but the proof of whether or not they are good is only to be found if you carry them out and they produce the desired result.

I know that, but it's just a lazy truncation which has caught on which is meaningless.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I know that, but it's just a lazy truncation which has caught on which is meaningless.

It's certainly not the worst idiom. One "proves" bread dough before baking it, so although the shortened version doesn't quite make sense it is at least vaguely on-topic.
"More than one way to skin a cat" is far worse. Not only is that cruel-sounding, but if you actually needed to skin a cat for some reason, how many different methods would you need? Surely one would suffice...

No doubt someone will be along to say that the phrase refers to something other than what it sounds like, which just proves (no pun intended ) my point that it's a daft and pointlessly grim-sounding idiom.

 

[Strat-tastic]

It's certainly not the worst idiom. One "proves" bread dough before baking it, so although the shortened version doesn't quite make sense it is at least vaguely on-topic.
"More than one way to skin a cat" is far worse. Not only is that cruel-sounding, but if you actually needed to skin a cat for some reason, how many different methods would you need? Surely one would suffice...

No doubt someone will be along to say that the phrase refers to something other than what it sounds like, which just proves (no pun intended ) my point that it's a daft and pointlessly grim-sounding idiom.

I like cats.
How about 'more than one way to fuss a cat'?

 

[Gloster]

I like cats.
How about 'more than one way to fuss a cat'?

The French have a saying ‘autre chats a (*) fouetter’ (other cats to beat/whip). The English equivalent is ‘other fish to fry’.

* - There should be a grave accent here, but my laptop only uses French spellings when I am writing in English.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I like cats.
How about 'more than one way to fuss a cat'?

As do I, your version is much better!

Though some cats are quite particular about how they want to be fussed... one hand, great... two hands? Time for death by claws and teeth!

 

[xotGD]

People going to the drinks machine with more than one cup.

It's legalised queue jumping.

What about people with a big mug that takes two portions of hot chocolate to fill?

Full disclosure: I am that person!

 

[yorksrob]

What about people with a big mug that takes two portions of hot chocolate to fill?

Full disclosure: I am that person!

I will tolerate (whilst grinding teeth)

 

[Steddenm]

Such as when Standard Life "rebranded" themselves to "ABRDN"

The thing with removing vowels from a word, or string of words, is that they are still easy to read, as the brain will add the vowels correctly.

Example:

THS SNTC HS LL TH VWLS RMVD BT Y CN STLL NDRSTND WHT TH MNNG WLL B

 

[ABB125]

The thing with removing vowels from a word, or string of words, is that they are still easy to read, as the brain will add the vowels correctly.

Example:

Similarly, you can change the order of all the "middle letters", as long as the start and end letters are correct. For example:

Tihs snetnece is raedlabe dspitee the lertets bineg all meldudd up!

 

[jfollows]

I am part of a neighbourhood Whatsapp group, it's sometimes useful and it's sometimes good to help out. But why oh why does everyone else seem compelled to respond when one of the members asks "does anyone have my package which was supposed to have been delivered today?" with things like "not here, sorry". It does my head in! If you've got it, say so, but if you haven't, just keep quiet. Everyone else doesn't need 15 messages saying the same irrelevant thing, sometimes >24 hours later than the question was asked!
Oh, and clearly not "everyone else" sends the inane responses - presumably 50% of the members are like me and keep quiet.

 

[GusB]

While we're on the subject of social media, Facebook notifications are starting to get silly. I had one a few minutes ago: "X commented on a post you haven't seen"

So %£&@©®√ what?!

 

[duncanp]

While we're on the subject of social media, Facebook notifications are starting to get silly. I had one a few minutes ago: "X commented on a post you haven't seen"

So %£&@©®√ what?!

And if you don't fiddle with the settings, you get an e-mail to tell you have a Facebook notification.

But I would like to ban all the clickbait posts that appear on my Facebook feed that have got nothing to do with me or anyone else that I follow.

I am not subscribed to Mumsnet, and yet there is a post in my feed this morning entitled "Suggested For You" which is all about people arguing over whether their neighbour should be allowed to use their washing line.

Annoying and pointless.

 

[Strat-tastic]

As do I, your version is much better!

Though some cats are quite particular about how they want to be fussed... one hand, great... two hands? Time for death by claws and teeth!

One minute all cute and purring, the next full-on attack mode!

 

[dangie]

.…But why oh why does everyone else seem compelled to respond when one of the members asks "does anyone have my package which was supposed to have been delivered today?" with things like "not here, sorry". It does my head in! If you've got it, say so, but if you haven't, just keep quiet. Everyone else doesn't need 15 messages saying the same irrelevant thing, sometimes >24 hours later than the question was asked!
Oh, and clearly not "everyone else" sends the inane responses - presumably 50% of the members are like me and keep quiet.

Like if someone asks ‘Peanut butter….. smooth or crunchy……’
Then countless answers ‘I don’t like peanut butter…….’
If that’s the case then don’t answer……..

 

[jfollows]

Like if someone asks ‘Peanut butter….. smooth or crunchy……’
Then countless answers ‘I don’t like peanut butter…….’
If that’s the case then don’t answer……..

Exactly.
I like both …..

 

[py_megapixel]

People going to the drinks machine with more than one cup.

It's legalised queue jumping.

Not quite sure what context this is in, but I would assume one person getting drinks for everyone in their group takes less time overall than everyone queuing up individually?

I am part of a neighbourhood Whatsapp group, it's sometimes useful and it's sometimes good to help out. But why oh why does everyone else seem compelled to respond when one of the members asks "does anyone have my package which was supposed to have been delivered today?" with things like "not here, sorry". It does my head in! If you've got it, say so, but if you haven't, just keep quiet. Everyone else doesn't need 15 messages saying the same irrelevant thing, sometimes >24 hours later than the question was asked!
Oh, and clearly not "everyone else" sends the inane responses - presumably 50% of the members are like me and keep quiet.

Same thing happens with Amazon customer questions.
"What size batteries does this take?" - "Sorry, don't know I've only had it for a few days and haven't changed the batteries yet"
How is that of any use to anyone?

I understand it more in a WhatsApp group where it feels more as if the question is addressed specifically to the members of the group, rather than to the world at large.

 

[yorksrob]

Not quite sure what context this is in, but I would assume one person getting drinks for everyone in their group takes less time overall than everyone queuing up individually?


Same thing happens with Amazon customer questions.
"What size batteries does this take?" - "Sorry, don't know I've only had it for a few days and haven't changed the batteries yet"
How is that of any use to anyone?

I understand it more in a WhatsApp group where it feels more as if the question is addressed specifically to the members of the group, rather than to the world at large.

Yes, but they're still in my way. If all the people in the group go up separately, I can interject between.

 

[Purple Train]

Yes, but they're still in my way. If all the people in the group go up separately, I can interject between.

Or is it you that is in their way?

 

[yorksrob]

Or is it you that is in their way?

I am, but it's only me, so I have a right to be there before their third cup.

 

[Purple Train]

I am, but it's only me, so I have a right to be there before their third cup.

Fair.
This is where it helps being five foot four: no one notices if you queue jump!

 

[yorksrob]

Fair.
This is where it helps being five foot four: no one notices if you queue jump!

I can imagine that helps

 

[Purple Train]

I can imagine that helps

Not that I have ever deliberately queue-jumped, of course...

 

[jfollows]

News alerts about the "impending" alarm at 3pm.
The whole point of the alarm is that there won't be alerts beforehand.
And, in any case, I've disabled the thing on my phone anyway.
Stop bugging me about it!

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 24 Apr 2023 ==

People who post on forums (not this one!) asking for help and advice, but when they're asked questions to help clarify their problem or provide additional essential information in order to give the requested advice, don't respond to the questions but instead either don't respond at all or else respond with some vague waffle along the lines of what they consider to be relevant information but which does not answer the questions asked. I mean, they are the ones asking for advice, but then they think they know better!

 

[Drogba11CFC]

On a similar vein, sponsored ads from newspapers on Facebook using a story from two months ago.

 

[BanburyBlue]

While we're on the subject of social media, Facebook notifications are starting to get silly. I had one a few minutes ago: "X commented on a post you haven't seen"

So %£&@©®√ what?!

My social media gripe is people who post things like "does anyone know what time Tesco's closes today". CHECK OUT THEIR BLOOMIN WEBSITE!!

 

[dangie]

My social media gripe is people who post things like "does anyone know what time Tesco's closes today". CHECK OUT THEIR BLOOMIN WEBSITE!!

Hardly a week goes by that on my towns Faceb**k group the question is asked as to which is the best Indian/Chinese takeaway. As always there’s many different answers so no one’s any the wiser.

 

[duncanp]

Hardly a week goes by that on my towns Faceb**k group the question is asked as to which is the best Indian/Chinese takeaway. As always there’s many different answers so no one’s any the wiser.

My local Facebook Group gets posts from people along the lines of "I need a plumber ASAP to fix a leaking tap" , on the assumption that local plumbers just happen to be looking at the Facebook page at that moment, and are free to come and fix a leaky tap.

 

[BanburyBlue]

Hardly a week goes by that on my towns Faceb**k group the question is asked as to which is the best Indian/Chinese takeaway. As always there’s many different answers so no one’s any the wiser.

Yes, same here. By post 30, every Chinese/Indian within 5 miles has been mentioned.

 

[Meerkat]

Yes, same here. By post 30, every Chinese/Indian within 5 miles has been mentioned.

I think it is useful for seeing that ones that get repeatedly mentioned as not recommended.

Can I add the ridiculous and indulgent lengths of films. No Time to Die being a massive example of unnecessary bloat - at least half an hour could have been chopped and made no difference at all.
"I'm tired, think I will just crash, watch a film, then go to bed. Ooh that's available, fancy watching that.....HOW LONG?!"