Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Bletchleyite]

My local post office is within a newsagent, and you can get counter service 6 days a week from 06:30 - 19:00, and on Sundays from 07:00 - 13:30.

Some actually provide Post Office counter staff for the full period of opening. My local one is something like 7am to 9pm 7 days a week (though the shop opens later), which is a huge improvement on what went before.

So having a Post Office within another shop is not necessarily a problem, and in fact it means it stays open when staff from "crown" post offices go on strike, as has happened recently.

That too.

But if the Royal Mail try and set up their own convenience store arrangement instead, this will lead to more fragmentation of the service, and I can't see it leading to any improvement. (When does anything lead to an improvement in services these days)

It seems we're safe from that until at least 2032. Banks of course can have an agreement with the Post Office for counter cash withdrawal and deposits and many do. Monzo interestingly doesn't but instead has one with PayPoint.

Sure, there are a few services you can't get that way e.g. very large cash withdrawals, but in 2022 if you want a very large cash withdrawal there's either probably a better, safer way to make the payment (e.g. when buying/selling a car, a Faster Payments transfer on the spot with the keys not handed over until it's arrived, which is how I last sold a car) or you're up to no good e.g. paying a builder in cash to evade VAT. There are very, very few genuine, legal reasons to want a cash withdrawal in excess of what you can get from a cash machine (£250 a day at most banks) in 2022, and paying cash in is really the preserve of kids* and businesses, most adults if they receive cash from someone will just keep it in their wallet and spend it. Cheques (increasingly rare) can be deposited by post or using cheque imaging on the bank app as some offer.

* Given the low amounts generally involved, e.g. £20 in a birthday card from a grandparent, the easiest way for a kid to "pay in" cash is to give it to their parents, who put it in their wallet to spend and BACS that sum into the kid's bank account, much easier than bothering to go somewhere and deposit it.

 

[GusB]

Inspired by a post in the "Things young people don't say" thread:

I propose a ban (and public pelting with rotten tomatoes) of anyone who, when verbally giving a phone number (admittedly a less frequent thing these days) doesn't stick to the true rhythm of how numbers should go. For example:
"Oh seven blank blank blank [pause] blank blank blank [short pause] blank blank blank" is the correct way. Splitting the final six digits into three twos instead of two threes is also acceptable. People who give the first three or four digits and then pause should line up for the stocks.

I'm not too bothered if people give their mobile numbers as 07xxx-xxxxxx or 07xx-xxx-xxxx; they're both "standard" patterns and I suppose it depends on what an individual is used to in terms of how their landline number would be formatted. I could accept 07x-xxxx-xxxx too, although...

No, it is YOU that need to be pelted with rotten tomatoes.

When I give my mobile phone number, I say Oh seven blank [pause] blank blank blank blank [pause] blank blank blank blank

But there is a special place in hell reserved for people who misquote London phone numbers.

It is 020 8*** **** or 020 7*** **** (as confirmed by Ofcom when London phone numbers were changed)

NOT, and I repeat NOT

0208 *** **** or 0207 *** ****

Never mind just rotten tomatoes, these people should be publicly flogged.

I was working at BT directory enquiries when this change went through. The London thing of using 0207 instead of 0171 was annoying but understandable, to an extent. I noticed that people in other areas that gained 02x numbers tended to format their numbers in the same way as their old numbers.

Northern Ireland was problematic in that a whole region was converted and it wasn't quite so obvious how the new numbers should look. A great number of the calls I received were from people asking what the code for Belfast was, for example. It was difficult convincing people that they simply should prefix the subscriber number with 90 and that they didn't actually have to bother with the 028 part.

Of course, it's all a bit moot now; as more people use mobiles to make calls and have to dial the full number anyway, does it really matter how the numbers are formatted? There are some areas where all-figure dialing is mandatory (Aberdeen, for example), so the concept of dialing code then subscriber number is rapidly becoming outdated.

I have digressed slightly, but to keep it on-topic, I'm going to ban BT; twelve days without broadband is unacceptable these days.

 

[Calthrop]

Royal Mail.

The last collection time for every post-box across town - bar one right in the centre - has been changed from 4.45 in the afternoon to 9:00 in the morning!
So now you have to be up with the lark to catch the post, and it's virtually impossible to turn any urgent correspondence around same-day. Snail-mail would indeed appear to be a dying species ....

(My bolding) -- coming in a bit "retrospectively" on this conversation: a little sadly, this would seem to be the case -- to be realistic: with all the more modern alternatives, I could pretty well manage fine without it, correspondence-wise. However; I relish being a "dinosaur" -- enjoy the small amount of opportunity which I have, still -- while it lasts -- to correspond by snail-mail (similarly, I make the most of the few opportunities which still come my way, to make payments via writing and snail-mailing, cheques). I have a dear friend, dwelling a-hundred-and-some miles from me, who (for understandable personal reasons) loathes computers; we exchange snail-mail letters / postcards two or three times a week. Another friend of mine was highly wary of computers for "security" reasons: he didn't want to know about e-mail, so we energetically mutually snail-mailed: but he would seem more recently, to have faded out from life and the world -- am not sure whether he's still alive. My feelings -- about this; also various other things in life -- may snail-mail's death-throes be long-drawn-out, hopefully outlasting me.

 

[Bletchleyite]

I don't think "snail mail" is likely to go away entirely, it will always have some sort of purpose, but I'd not be surprised to see it dropping down to e.g. a weekly collection and delivery, or maybe a couple of times a week, given that it's now not used for time-urgent stuff and parcels and Special Delivery tend to be done separately from the general postal round.

 

[duncanp]

I'm not too bothered if people give their mobile numbers as 07xxx-xxxxxx or 07xx-xxx-xxxx; they're both "standard" patterns and I suppose it depends on what an individual is used to in terms of how their landline number would be formatted. I could accept 07x-xxxx-xxxx too, although...


I was working at BT directory enquiries when this change went through. The London thing of using 0207 instead of 0171 was annoying but understandable, to an extent. I noticed that people in other areas that gained 02x numbers tended to format their numbers in the same way as their old numbers.

Northern Ireland was problematic in that a whole region was converted and it wasn't quite so obvious how the new numbers should look. A great number of the calls I received were from people asking what the code for Belfast was, for example. It was difficult convincing people that they simply should prefix the subscriber number with 90 and that they didn't actually have to bother with the 028 part.

Of course, it's all a bit moot now; as more people use mobiles to make calls and have to dial the full number anyway, does it really matter how the numbers are formatted? There are some areas where all-figure dialing is mandatory (Aberdeen, for example), so the concept of dialing code then subscriber number is rapidly becoming outdated.

I have digressed slightly, but to keep it on-topic, I'm going to ban BT; twelve days without broadband is unacceptable these days.

Yes, when BT changed my phone last year to so called "Digital Voice" (without my consent ) it means I have to dial the full number, even if it starts with 0121.

And if there are power cuts this winter (seems increasingly likely) then I won't have any phone or broadband at all. (Well apart from my mobile and possibly a WiFi hotspot, which will no doubt grind to a halt if everyone is using it.)

If you are without broadband for 12 days you should get a credit to your account, calculated by dividing your monthly bill by 31 and then multiplying by 12.

Getting back on topic, I would like to ban the Jeremy Whine show on Radio 2 from propagating misleading information without questioning it.

They were talking about energy prices, and one caller said that he had calcuated that it cost him £1.68 to use his toaster for 3 minutes to make two slices of toast.

I thought that sounded a bit high, so I looked at my toaster and it said it was 850 watts. My current rate per unit of electricity is 30.168p during the day, so if the toaster was on for 3 minutes, the cost to make two slices of toast would be (0.85 x 30.168 x 3)/60 = 1.28p.

For a toaster to cost £1.68 to use for 3 minutes would mean a wattage of over 110kw on my current tarriff, or imply a price per unit of £39.60.

So I think the caller must have made a mistake in his calculations, but the point is that Jeremy Whine didn't question it, which thus propagates unecessary fear amongst his listeners about using electrical appliances over this coming winter.

But when did facts and the BBC go together (see COVID scaremongering)

 

[Bletchleyite]

Getting back on topic, I would like to ban the Jeremy Whine show on Radio 2 from propagating misleading information without questioning it.

We could just ban Jeremy Vine entirely. He's grossly annoying. Have you seen his cycling Tweets? The way he rides, he's very likely to have a gravestone reading "here lies Jeremy, he had the right of way".

 

[adrock1976]

There was an idea that a group of banks could buy a building and operate within, maybe one desk per bank or allocated days/bank, I'm not sure if any such buildings materialised but on paper looks a good solution. I know post offices do share space withother businesses, including pubs I believe!

Regarding the group of banks operating in the same building, how would it work for those who have safe deposit boxes for the storage of valuables/back up disks, etc?

 

[Howardh]

Regarding the group of banks operating in the same building, how would it work for those who have safe deposit boxes for the storage of valuables/back up disks, etc?

They couldn't do that and would have to rely on a larger branch elsewhere - just like they would if the local branch didn't exist at all!

 

[Busaholic]

Who sends anything important by post these days?

Most important things are sent by post i.e. from government, local government and quangos. In the last few weeks I have received a new driving licence, new debit card, a duplicate marriage certificate, several copies of a certificate of death, a renewed Blue Badge etc etc: there was no alternative way of any of these getting to me. Plus numerous hospital appointment letters. You really must stop assuming your circumstances and lifestyle are the norm for all, even on this forum. Your experience is not necessarily representative.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Most important things are sent by post i.e. from government, local government and quangos. In the last few weeks I have received a new driving licence, new debit card, a duplicate marriage certificate, several copies of a certificate of death, a renewed Blue Badge etc etc: there was no alternative way of any of these getting to me.

Have all the couriers closed down? We could but hope that Evri/Hermes and Yodel would!

I don't think any of those bar the debit card would suffer from a reduced frequency of postal service, and that could be sent with a courier (DX specialise in this sort of thing - their name gives a clue - it stands for Document eXchange).

 

[ABB125]

their name gives a clue - it stands for Document eXchange).

I though it was Delivered eXactly? Or is it a bit like c2c, where the acronym has several possibilities?

 

[Bletchleyite]

I though it was Delivered eXactly? Or is it a bit like c2c, where the acronym has several possibilities?

That's a backronym.

DX Group - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

History​

DX Group originated in the legal sector, with the Document Exchange members' network (informally "The DX") supplying the majority of legal firms within the UK. "Contracts, deeds, property settlements, financial agreements, barrister’s briefs and original official documents are all carried via the trusted DX Exchange service."[citation needed]

It became part of the Hays plc group in the 1990s but was demerged in 2004 when Hays disposed of its logistics businesses.[3] With the acquisition of DX Secure (Secure Mail Services), DX became a more prominent player for mail and courier deliveries to residential addresses. This is a market which has in recent years experienced a huge increase in popularity and volume due to internet shopping.

On 27 February 2014 DX began trading on the London Stock Exchange's AIM subdivision.[4]

Throughout 2018, and under new leadership, DX has committed to turning around the business and in July announced a Trading Update that met market expectations, saying 'The board believes the Group remains well positioned to make further progress against its Turnaround Plans'.[5][better source needed]

 

[joebassman]

Trainline are worst for it but I'd probably ban them full stop for their litany of sins!

What is the point of trainline? As far as I can tell they are no cheaper than going on the nation rail website.

 

[Howardh]

What is the point of trainline? As far as I can tell they are no cheaper than going on the nation rail website.

It's actually quite easy to use and navigate, for times of trains etc, but once you've found your journey go to another engine for the ticket!!!

 

[Bletchleyite]

What is the point of trainline? As far as I can tell they are no cheaper than going on the nation rail website.

It's a for-profit business which due to quite clever advertising does very well for itself.

It also can now be cheaper than TOC sites as it offers splits (though its splitting code isn't as good as Trainsplit's).

 

[joebassman]

I'd ban top knot hair cuts. Always irritate me for some reason.

I always imagine that the person sporting one is going to be smug, although I'm sure that is more my own bias then anything. But hey ho they annoy me anyway.

 

[ABB125]

also can now be cheaper than TOC sites as it offers splits (though its splitting code isn't as good as Trainsplit's).

Though bad splitting code can if anything be better than good splitting code (from the perspective of minimising travel costs)...

 

[gg1]

It's actually quite easy to use and navigate, for times of trains etc, but once you've found your journey go to another engine for the ticket!!!

My thoughts exactly, for simply checking train times I find The Trainline to be the most user friendly option.

 

[duncanp]

I'd ban top knot hair cuts. Always irritate me for some reason.

I always imagine that the person sporting one is going to be smug, although I'm sure that is more my own bias then anything. But hey ho they annoy me anyway.

And goatee beards please.

 

[ABB125]

And goatee beards please.

My mum would quite happily ban all forms of beard!

 

[Purple Train]

I concur with whoever wanted to ban Trainline. I'm trying to convince a friend of mine that travelling by train can be cheaper than she thinks it is - but she uses Trainline, which looks like it offers everything on the tin, but has its shortcomings, and it's quite hard to convince her of that given it's well-known and very slick. This in turn means that winning my case is about as easy as juggling live snakes.

 

[PeterY]

Royal Mail.

The last collection time for every post-box across town - bar one right in the centre - has been changed from 4.45 in the afternoon to 9:00 in the morning!
So now you have to be up with the lark to catch the post, and it's virtually impossible to turn any urgent correspondence around same-day. Snail-mail would indeed appear to be a dying species ....

Yes a PM pick up is a bad idea IMO. The way I see it, post will take a day longer. It's very rare I have to post something luckily.

 

[Strat-tastic]

Inspired by a post in the "Things young people don't say" thread:

I propose a ban (and public pelting with rotten tomatoes) of anyone who, when verbally giving a phone number (admittedly a less frequent thing these days) doesn't stick to the true rhythm of how numbers should go. For example:
"Oh seven blank blank blank [pause] blank blank blank [short pause] blank blank blank" is the correct way. Splitting the final six digits into three twos instead of two threes is also acceptable. People who give the first three or four digits and then pause should line up for the stocks.

I'd extend the ban to writing / typing the numbers without spaces. It's harder to dial the number when done that way I find. Keep it in easy-to-remember chunks please.

How much salt for how big an effect ?

This may give you some idea...

Impurites Experiment

Aim: to investigate the relationship between the amount of salt in a beaker of water and the boiling point of the solution. Hypothesis: I think that salt will incease the boiling point of water....

misswise.weebly.com

 

[PeterY]

I'd extend the ban to writing / typing the numbers without spaces. It's harder to dial the number when done that way I find. Keep it in easy-to-remember chunks please.

I'm the same, I find them easier to remember in chunks and with a space eg 01632 xxxxxx or 079xx xxx xxx

 

[Ediswan]

This may give you some idea...

Impurites Experiment

Aim: to investigate the relationship between the amount of salt in a beaker of water and the boiling point of the solution. Hypothesis: I think that salt will incease the boiling point of water....

misswise.weebly.com

The results are very different from those quoted in post # 3,989.

Are you sure that is a real set of results, rather than example of how to write up an experiment ? Any write-up which describes using a bunsen burner, but shows an electrical heater, should probably be treated with suspicion

To add to the complexity, don't forget to allow for atmospheric pressure. Even at sea level, that can vary enough to change the boiling point by a degree or two.

 

[Strat-tastic]

Are you sure that is a real set of results, rather than example of how to write up an experiment ?

Not at all, no. Buyer beware!

 

[duncanp]

Can we ban "shrinkflation", where the size of the packet/bar of chocolate ..etc is reduced, but the price stays the same.

I have recently noticed this happening to toothpaste.

I bought a tube of toothpaste today, and when I took the tube of toothpaste out of the box that it comes in, it was about half an inch shorther. This is only a recent phenomenon - previously a tube of toothpaste would be the same length as the box.

Morrisons and Colgate, I'm looking at YOU. You thought we wouldn't notice, didn't you?

 

[trebor79]

Can we ban "shrinkflation", where the size of the packet/bar of chocolate ..etc is reduced, but the price stays the same.

I have recently noticed this happening to toothpaste.

I bought a tube of toothpaste today, and when I took the tube of toothpaste out of the box that it comes in, it was about half an inch shorther. This is only a recent phenomenon - previously a tube of toothpaste would be the same length as the box.

Morrisons and Colgate, I'm looking at YOU. You thought we wouldn't notice, didn't you?

It's hard to find a decent tube of toothpaste these days. The majority seem to be the tiny 75ml ones that used to be sold as "travel" toothpaste.

I'm sure the diameter of McVities chocolate digestives is less than it used to be.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 3 Aug 2022 ==

I would ban the habit that journalists have of appending "gate" to a random word to try and make out that something is a huge scandal (eg "partygate", "plebgate"). It was the Watergate scandal because it happened at the Watergate Hotel, not because it had anything to do with water or "-gate" meaning anything at all.
It's such lazy, lazy journalism I turn the TV off or stop reading the instant I come across it.

 

[Bletchleyite]

It's hard to find a decent tube of toothpaste these days. The majority seem to be the tiny 75ml ones that used to be sold as "travel" toothpaste.

I'm sure the diameter of McVities chocolate digestives is less than it used to be.

One thing I have noticed about toothpaste is that the range is much smaller than it used to be, and that supermarket own brands (unlike in just about every other type of product) are pretty much nonexistent. I've long wondered why.

 

[Calthrop]

I would ban the habit that journalists have of appending "gate" to a random word to try and make out that something is a huge scandal (eg "partygate", "plebgate"). It was the Watergate scandal because it happened at the Watergate Hotel, not because it had anything to do with water or "-gate" meaning anything at all.
It's such lazy, lazy journalism I turn the TV off or stop reading the instant I come across it.

Similar sentiments have been expressed earlier in this thread, about this ubiquitous annoyance. I heartily concur with all such feelings, and would be thoroughly behind banning this "gate"-suffixing habit on the part of media bods -- on pain of harsh punishment. I fail to see why this particular section of the chattering classes has been so obsessed with especially this bit of nonsense, for almost fifty years now -- I agree that it was never notably funny or clever, even at its beginning. Words and their use just seem, often, to have a life of their own -- nothing to do with making sense, or worthwhileness.