Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[adrock1976]

Best lettuce of them all nice and crisp and not like the bitter, hipster fancy stuff.

Of course, the best lettuce is the one where you see slugs hiding in it, as you then know that it has not had any pesticides or nasty chemicals sprayed onto the crop.

 

[PeterY]

The most interesting piece in papers the day you were born would be the TV and radio schedule! To that end, BBC, ITV (in it's infancy), then Home, Light, Third and I think Luxembourg were the choices in 1958.
TV hasn't improved much in 63 yrs 11 months...

In fact I think TV has gone downhill, with so many options and what seems like endless ads.

Of course, the best lettuce is the one where you see slugs hiding in it, as you then know that it has not had any pesticides or nasty chemicals sprayed onto the crop.

A bit of free protein

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Of course, the best lettuce is the one where you see slugs hiding in it, as you then know that it has not had any pesticides or nasty chemicals sprayed onto the crop.

You're both wrong. The best lettuce is spinach, because it isn't lettuce and has flavour.

 

[yorksrob]

Unfortunately lettuce forms a barrier between the tongue and the food one is eating, therefore it actually reduces the amount of flavour.

 

[Runningaround]

Of course, the best lettuce is the one where you see slugs hiding in it, as you then know that it has not had any pesticides or nasty chemicals sprayed onto the crop.

The bitter stuff makes me think I've just eaten a bit of pesticide. Like an unwashed tomato there's just something on the skin that taste wrong. I hate Celery, Celeriac and anything that tastes chemical.

 

[Runningaround]

You're both wrong. The best lettuce is spinach, because it isn't lettuce and has flavour.

It's ok but I hate Olive, so might cause some issues.

 

[Strat-tastic]

How much salt for how big an effect ?

Bear with; research required...

Unfortunately lettuce forms a barrier between the tongue and the food one is eating, therefore it actually reduces the amount of flavour.

Lettuce adds texture.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Lettuce adds texture.

So does sandpaper, and sandpaper would probably taste better!

 

[HST274]

Lettuce adds a delicious crunch as the luscious liquid released soaks into the bread and sweetens the taste of the dry filling...

 

[yorksrob]

So does sandpaper, and sandpaper would probably taste better!

Quite.

Lettuce adds a delicious crunch as the luscious liquid released soaks into the bread and sweetens the taste of the dry filling...

Cucumber performs this role so much better.

 

[HST274]

Both

 

[duncanp]

Quite.



Cucumber performs this role so much better.

Tomatoes perform this role much better than cucumber, and they don't taste quite as revolting.

 

[HST274]

Cucumber is the best over lettuce and tomato. tomatohas to be perfect to be nice- hard and crunchy.

 

[yorksrob]

I can take tomato, cucumber or quite happily both.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

If the only thing you get from a particular sandwich filling is texture rather than taste, there's probably a better option out there. For leaves, spinach, watercress, or pea shoots are far superior to any form of lettuce.
Cucumber isn't a taste I've ever been keen on, for added crunch sliced pepper or thinly-sliced carrot is a much better option.
If your filling is too dry, that's where you've gone wrong: if the Lord had intended us to eat dry sandwiches, He wouldn't have given us butter or condiments!
Sliced tomato should only go in a sandwich if you're going to eat it straight away. If it's going in your snap box it'll make your bread soggy.

 

[Bletchleyite]

If the only thing you get from a particular sandwich filling is texture rather than taste, there's probably a better option out there. For leaves, spinach, watercress, or pea shoots are far superior to any member of form of lettuce.
Cucumber isn't a taste I've ever been keen on, for added crunch sliced pepper or thinly-sliced carrot is a much better option.

Gherkin is better still, as unlike fresh veg it doesn't go off.

 

[HST274]

If the only thing you get from a particular sandwich filling is texture rather than taste, there's probably a better option out there. For leaves, spinach, watercress, or pea shoots are far superior to any form of lettuce.
Cucumber isn't a taste I've ever been keen on, for added crunch sliced pepper or thinly-sliced carrot is a much better option.
If your filling is too dry, that's where you've gone wrong: if the Lord had intended us to eat dry sandwiches, He wouldn't have given us butter or condiments!
Sliced tomato should only go in a sandwich if you're going to eat it straight away. If it's going in your snap box it'll make your bread soggy.

I disagree. It is and isn't the taste- carrot, tomato, pepper has more taste than cucumber and lettuce but cucumber is my favourite salad veggie so there is something in texture and water content. 2nd buttering sanwiches takes time , but hastily peeled lettuce is a good substitute. Lastly I like the taste but ideally there is taste and texture. Hence why I don't really like mushrooms- good taste, awful texture.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 1 Aug 2022 ==

Gherkin is better still, as unlike fresh veg it doesn't go off.

There's something I would ban...

 

[Howardh]

OK, I'll ban Spanish bars from putting free olives on the table. The oil from them is fine and healthy, but the olives themselves are horrible nasty vile droppings from the devil. On the plus side, the peanuts the bars offer usually contain raisins etc, which I count as towards my five a day.

 

[Bald Rick]

On the plus side, the peanuts the bars offer usually contain raisins etc, which I count as towards my five a day.

Chips cooked in vegetable oil count as two…

 

[yorksrob]

I disagree. It is and isn't the taste- carrot, tomato, pepper has more taste than cucumber and lettuce but cucumber is my favourite salad veggie so there is something in texture and water content. 2nd buttering sanwiches takes time , but hastily peeled lettuce is a good substitute. Lastly I like the taste but ideally there is taste and texture. Hence why I don't really like mushrooms- good taste, awful texture.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 1 Aug 2022 ==


There's something I would ban...

Euch, don't get me started on mushrooms !

 

[Ostrich]

Royal Mail.

The last collection time for every post-box across town - bar one right in the centre - has been changed from 4.45 in the afternoon to 9:00 in the morning!
So now you have to be up with the lark to catch the post, and it's virtually impossible to turn any urgent correspondence around same-day. Snail-mail would indeed appear to be a dying species ....

 

[duncanp]

Royal Mail.

The last collection time for every post-box across town - bar one right in the centre - has been changed from 4.45 in the afternoon to 9:00 in the morning!
So now you have to be up with the lark to catch the post, and it's virtually impossible to turn any urgent correspondence around same-day. Snail-mail would indeed appear to be a dying species ....

Fancy that.

Surely the Royal Mail haven't done that deliberately to deter people from using the post.

Then they can scrap the post box in six months time and withdraw Saturday deliveries, citing "lack of demand due to COVID/the weather/cost of living crisis...etc etc"

The amount they charge for a stamp these days, they should be collecting the post from your house

 

[Mcr Warrior]

The amount they charge for a stamp these days, they should be collecting the post from your house

This is already possible...

Royal Mail Click & Drop | Send an item - Send it your way

Whether you're sending one item or several, buying postage online is easy. We've got over 130,000 drop off points, so send it your way

send.royalmail.com

 

[yorksrob]

I'd ban national rail enquiries from putting walks in my rail itineraries.

If I wanted to walk from Wakefield Kirkgate to Westgate, I wouldn't be on sodding NRE would I

 

[Bletchleyite]

So now you have to be up with the lark to catch the post, and it's virtually impossible to turn any urgent correspondence around same-day. Snail-mail would indeed appear to be a dying species ....

It is, yes, so it has to be operated more cheaply to deal with the lower volumes. Who sends anything important by post these days? There are services like Special Delivery which you can do from a post office for urgent, secure stuff e.g. passports.

 

[Howardh]

It is, yes, so it has to be operated more cheaply to deal with the lower volumes. Who sends anything important by post these days? There are services like Special Delivery which you can do from a post office for urgent, secure stuff e.g. passports.

Post office? Remind me, what's one of those again? They are like banks, a rare speices that are in grave danger of extinction. If Geoff Marshall did a tour, he might do those remaining faster than All The Stations! Grrr....

 

[duncanp]

I'd ban national rail enquiries from putting walks in my rail itineraries.

If I wanted to walk from Wakefield Kirkgate to Westgate, I wouldn't be on sodding NRE would I

I would ban the TfL journey planner from always defaulting to use the Heathrow Express when looking at a journey starting from or going to Heathrow.

In fact I would ban the TfL journey planner altogether, as it is a right crock of ****.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Post office? Remind me, what's one of those again? They are like banks, a rare speices that are in grave danger of extinction. If Geoff Marshall did a tour, he might do those remaining faster than All The Stations! Grrr....

There seem to be plenty about, though more often as a function of a convenience store than a thing in their own right now.

It'll be interesting to see what happens once the Royal Mail's mandatory use of Post Office as their sales channel expires (there was a time-bound requirement placed on the sale). After that they may well put their own convenience store arrangement in place anyway, leaving Post Office Counters Ltd (a nationalised business) to die off.

Edit: seems they already did renew it until 2032, but the Post Office is now allowed to sell other couriers' services as part of it.

Post Office and Royal Mail no longer working in exclusive partnership under new deal

The 11-year agreement will allow the Post Office to distribute parcels from third parties

www.thegrocer.co.uk

The Post Office and Royal Mail have struck a deal which will see the two iconic brands no longer working in an exclusive partnership.

The second Mails Distribution Agreement will kick off on 21 March and run until 28 March 2032.

For the last 10 years an agreement has been in place which stipulated the Post Office was only permitted to distribute parcels via Royal Mail and Parcelforce.

The new deal will allow the Post Office to work with other networks such as Hermes, DPD and Amazon.

Post Office CEO Nick Read said “We are building on hundreds of years of experience in the collection and sending of post and parcels to open our network to other potential providers. The parcel market is booming. The growth of online retailing means there is much more competition. Customers can choose other mails and parcels providers directly.

”But it doesn’t remove the fact that physical presence is still vital. The presence of a Post Office in every community in the UK is what makes us distinct. We can provide online retailers access to the UK’s biggest parcels pick up and drop off network.”

Royal Mail interim CEO Stuart Simpson said: “I am delighted to extend our long-term agreement with the Post Office. Royal Mail and the Post Office have a long shared history and both companies play an important role keeping the UK connected. This new agreement is good for our customers, Royal Mail, and the Post Office. We look forward to working together to build on our relationship and deliver a great service to our customers for many years to come.”

 

[duncanp]

There seem to be plenty about, though more often as a function of a convenience store than a thing in their own right now.

It'll be interesting to see what happens once the Royal Mail's mandatory use of Post Office as their sales channel expires (there was a time-bound requirement placed on the sale). After that they may well put their own convenience store arrangement in place anyway, leaving Post Office Counters Ltd (a nationalised business) to die off.

Edit: seems they already did renew it until 2032, but the Post Office is now allowed to sell other couriers' services as part of it.

Post Office and Royal Mail no longer working in exclusive partnership under new deal

The 11-year agreement will allow the Post Office to distribute parcels from third parties

www.thegrocer.co.uk

My local post office is within a newsagent, and you can get counter service 6 days a week from 06:30 - 19:00, and on Sundays from 07:00 - 13:30.

So having a Post Office within another shop is not necessarily a problem, and in fact it means it stays open when staff from "crown" post offices go on strike, as has happened recently.

But if the Royal Mail try and set up their own convenience store arrangement instead, this will lead to more fragmentation of the service, and I can't see it leading to any improvement. (When does anything lead to an improvement in services these days)

 

[Howardh]

My local post office is within a newsagent, and you can get counter service 6 days a week from 06:30 - 19:00, and on Sundays from 07:00 - 13:30.

So having a Post Office within another shop is not necessarily a problem, and in fact it means it stays open when staff from "crown" post offices go on strike, as has happened recently.

But if the Royal Mail try and set up their own convenience store arrangement instead, this will lead to more fragmentation of the service, and I can't see it leading to any improvement. (When does anything lead to an improvement in services these days)

There was an idea that a group of banks could buy a building and operate within, maybe one desk per bank or allocated days/bank, I'm not sure if any such buildings materialised but on paper looks a good solution. I know post offices do share space withother businesses, including pubs I believe!