Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[GusB]

Opportunity to mention a favourite author, and something of a heroine, of mine -- Amanda Owen, who for many years ran a sheep farm in the wilds of the high Pennines, near where Yorkshire, Cumbria and Durham meet: has written a series of books, delightfully and wittily telling of such doings -- all about sheep, "from their best to their worst", and the keeping of them -- as above. Her first book titled The Yorkshire Shepherdess -- series proceeds therefrom.

If a sheep has the opportunity to get stuck in a hole, tether itself to a bramble hedge, try and drown itself or get it’s head stuck in some stock fencing it will do and over the years I’ve rescued a good number of the beasts.
They are clinically stupid animals but wonderful to keep if you get the opportunity. Furthermore, they taste delicious but I don’t tell them that.

There is a rather delightful word for a sheep that has rolled onto its back and can't get back up - riggwelter. It's also the name of one of the Black Sheep brewery's beers, somewhat appropriately!

 

[Calthrop]

Up to now, I was aware of the beer Riggwelter; but not the word's meaning. I have a probably rather foolish "thing": of disliking goofy names, for particular beers, which seem to me to be meaningless, thought up by makers who are trying too hard to come up with names sounding quirkily bumpkin-ish / Northern / whatever. If such names annoy me sufficiently, I "boycott" the beers concerned; refuse to drink them. If I find that there is in fact any meaning in the name -- while it may still irritate me with its perceived over-the-top-ness, I'm inclined to take it off my "forbidden" list. Thus -- now that I find that "Riggwelter" means something, I'll be willing to try said brew. @GusB -- thank you !

I felt the same way about Goddards brewery (Isle of Wight)'s beer which they call "Fuggle-Dee-Dum"; which initially struck me as consciously nonsensical made-up yokel-speak, and considerably pee'd me off. Happened, though, to discover that "Fuggle" is in fact the name of a variety of hop; so although the beer's name still strikes me as silly, I will now drink the stuff. Granted, I probably need to get out more ...

 

[Gloster]

People who send condolences or similar in the comments section of a newspaper article, usually in a local paper, of some incident, particularly when the victim isn’t identifiable. I mean the ones on the line of, ‘So sad about the man being killed in the crash. I do hope he isn’t badly hurt.’ I am sure it is a real comfort to the victim or their relatives that someone they don’t know using a pseudonym and who probably doesn’t know who was injured or killed is so concerned to post a short and (usually) misspelt comment on a website.

 

[Bald Rick]

Local supermarkets and bakeries that run out of bauguettes before 12pm on Saturdays. Every Saturday.

 

[Techniquest]

Local supermarkets and bakeries that run out of bauguettes before 12pm on Saturdays. Every Saturday.

Often a good sign that there's a staffing problem, which gets progressively worse!

 

[gg1]

Supermarkets who have special offers on everyday items without also ordering extra stock resulting in them selling out by time I get there. Especially annoying when it's an item I would have happily paid the full non-offer price for.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

There is a rather delightful word for a sheep that has rolled onto its back and can't get back up - riggwelter. It's also the name of one of the Black Sheep brewery's beers, somewhat appropriately!

The label on my currently half-finished bottle of Riggwelter suggests that it's more of a descriptor in the original use: That a stranded sheep is said to be "riggwelted" or "rigged". Hence the beer being called "Riggwelter" as it implies too many of them will leave you on your back unable to get up, or "riggwelted".

Back on topic, pointless pedantry should be banned.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 23 Jul 2022 ==

Local supermarkets and bakeries that run out of bauguettes before 12pm on Saturdays. Every Saturday.

Local supermarkets whose in-store baked bread is never quite as good as that from a branch of the same chain two bus rides away.

 

[Purple Train]

I've mentioned incorrect punctuation, but what annoys me most is under- or over-use of commas (and other punctuation marks, but especially commas), in particular the use of commas to denote a natural pause in speech rather than a pause at the end of a clause (as goes the childhood rhyme). (I'm not going to go down the thread pointing out usages that particularly annoy me, as it'll take up many, many pages! )

 

[Statto]

The banner, another post has been posted, which pops up often when you're in the middle of typing out something on this forum really annoys me, puts me off what i'm posting, whish there was some way of disabling, or at least having the choice to disable it when logged in.

 

[Calthrop]

The banner, another post has been posted, which pops up often when you're in the middle of typing out something on this forum really annoys me, puts me off what i'm posting, whish there was some way of disabling, or at least having the choice to disable it when logged in.

I on the other hand, welcome this feature; reckoning it useful -- one can, without (physical) disruption to what one may be typing, click on it to find out whether one's currently-being-composed post has been made superfluous; or whether something has been introduced, warranting a change to said post. "Different strokes for different folks..."

 

[Techniquest]

I on the other hand, welcome this feature; reckoning it useful -- one can, without (physical) disruption to what one may be typing, click on it to find out whether one's currently-being-composed post has been made superfluous; or whether something has been introduced, warranting a change to said post. "Different strokes for different folks..."

Agreed, this is a useful feature that I've used a number of times!

 

[Purple Train]

I on the other hand, welcome this feature; reckoning it useful -- one can, without (physical) disruption to what one may be typing, click on it to find out whether one's currently-being-composed post has been made superfluous; or whether something has been introduced, warranting a change to said post. "Different strokes for different folks..."

Indeed, I find it very useful, given I am in the habit of typing quite slowly!

 

[birchesgreen]

Not being able to buy simple cheap items in small quantities. Today i needed 2 cable ties, of course no where will sell 1 or 2, i had to buy 25. The job is done, 25 cable ties was cheap but it seems rather wasteful that i now have 23 left over...

Similar when i needed a simple electric switch for a small electronics project, in the past i could have gone to Maplins and bought 1 or 2 of them for pence, instead i had to buy a pack of 30!

 

[Bletchleyite]

Not being able to buy simple cheap items in small quantities. Today i needed 2 cable ties, of course no where will sell 1 or 2, i had to buy 25. The job is done, 25 cable ties was cheap but it seems rather wasteful that i now have 23 left over...

Of course cable ties don't "go off", so you've got a pack for when you next need some now.

For specialist components I'd agree - while it was a bit expensive I miss Tandy!

 

[yorksrob]

Maplins was great.

 

[ABB125]

Maplins was great.

Ordering from somewhere like RS Components is a pretty good substitute (although I'd always prefer to go to a physical shop than buying online)

 

[Busaholic]

Of course cable ties don't "go off", so you've got a pack for when you next need some now.

By which time you either can't find them or they've been thrown away. By 'you' I mean me, but it will apply to many others too. In any case, it shouldn't be necessary to buy hugely unwanted quantities.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Not being able to buy simple cheap items in small quantities. Today i needed 2 cable ties, of course no where will sell 1 or 2, i had to buy 25. The job is done, 25 cable ties was cheap but it seems rather wasteful that i now have 23 left over...

Similar when i needed a simple electric switch for a small electronics project, in the past i could have gone to Maplins and bought 1 or 2 of them for pence, instead i had to buy a pack of 30!

That is a bit annoying... not least because now you have 23 spare cable ties, so you put them somewhere safe for future use: probably in the "everything drawer" along with the blu-tack and string...

But by the time you next need cable ties, you'll forget you have some (or forget where you put them) and have to buy another pack of 25. Congratulations, you now have 46 spares!

 

[PeterY]

That is a bit annoying... not least because now you have 23 spare cable ties, so you put them somewhere safe for future use: probably in the "everything drawer" along with the blu-tack and string...

But by the time you next need cable ties, you'll forget you have some (or forget where you put them) and have to buy another pack of 25. Congratulations, you now have 46 spares!

I've several drawers full of stuff, that might be handy one day. I do find it annoying that I have to buy large packs of things when I only need 1.

Does anyone want 190, 25mm screws. I had to buy a pack of 200 and I only needed 10. Might be useful in 10 years time I suppose.

 

[Ediswan]

Richard Stilgoe - "Little Plastic Packs"

 

[Calthrop]

Two "habits" involving titles for works of fiction, which would seem to have become extremely and repetitively widespread in recent years: to the point, for me at any rate, of extreme tedium; whence "banning" fantasies.

(1) A usually four-word title: the novel's theme will revolve around some place-name with current-affairs and / or historical associations, of dreadful stuff taking place, in the sphere of man's inhumanity to man -- title will be "The"; then, usually noun meaning practitioner of some craft / occupation / scheme / ruse; then, "of"; lastly, name of the place where the horrible doings happen / happened. Imaginary example -- The Dwile-flonker of Ashgabat.

(2) Title beginning "The girl ..." there may follow absolutely anything imaginable, re said young lady's doings / characteristics / location / you name it.

Re (1): these works are usually written with highly earnest intentions of praising the resilience and virtue of the human spirit, in its defiance at various levels, of the doings of evil men; all due honour to the authors, vis-a-vis the aforesaid ...

Re (2): I like and approve of girls: as much, I think, as -- probably -- does the next member of the human race; and the novels referred to, may often be admirable according to assorted criteria, as imaginative artistry in words ...

But; authors: these title-formulae have, in my opinion, grown in recent times to "plague" proportions -- becoming colossal cliches / memes / tropes, tending to blind -- at any rate, fusspots like me -- to the likely nobility / merits of many of these works of yours. For the love of all that's holy, please set your imaginations to work, and find a wider and more varied range of titles for your novels ! It can't be that difficult ...

 

[Gloster]

(2) Title beginning "The girl ..." there may follow absolutely anything imaginable, re said young lady's doings / characteristics / location / you name it.

A year or so ago I was talking to the manager of my local bookshop, and he commented that he would get people coming in and asking for a book called ‘The Girl...’ who was/knew/did something or other. They are then taken aback to learn that there are several such books.

 

[Calthrop]

Bookshop workers, and librarians, become quite skilled at figuring out from not-very-clued-up customers' inadequate descriptions, what book it is that such a customer is seeking; but in these times, they could hardly have a more difficult assignment of the kind, than that told of in your anecdote above !

 

[ABB125]

Why are hamburgers called hamburgers when there's no ham in them? Last time I checked, beef doesn't come from pigs. Can't we just call them beef burgers, like any sane person would?

 

[D6130]

Why are hamburgers called hamburgers when there's no ham in them? Last time I checked, beef doesn't come from pigs. Can't we just call them beef burgers, like any sane person would?

Because they originated in the German city of Hamburg. A person or object from that city is known as a Hamburger....hence the '- burger' suffix coming to be applied in colloquial American/English to similar patties made of other types of meat. The twin car high speed diesel-hydraulic unit that entered service between Berlin and Hamburg in 1938 - and for a short time held the world rail speed record - was called 'Der Fliegende Hamburger' or 'The Flying Hamburger'.

 

[jfollows]

Because they originated in the German city of Hamburg.

c.f. "Berliner" and J.F. Kennedy "Ich bin ein Berliner"

 

[52290]

c.f. "Berliner" and J.F. Kennedy "Ich bin ein Berliner"

Didn't Kennedy cause some amusement though because the term "Berliner" is used, locally, to describe a type of doughnut. If he had been in Vienna and said he was a "Wiener" he would have said he was a type of sausage. If he had pronounced Wiener in the American way then everyone would have associated it with that part of the male anatomy that looks like a sausage.

 

[jfollows]

Didn't Kennedy cause some amusement though because the term "Berliner" is used, locally, to describe a type of doughnut. If he had been in Vienna and said he was a "Wiener" he would have said he was a type of sausage. If he had pronounced Wiener in the American way then everyone would have associated it with that part of the male anatomy that looks like a sausage.

Exactly so, per https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berliner_(doughnut):

A Berliner is a German doughnut with no central hole, made from sweet yeast dough fried in fat or oil, with a marmalade or jam filling like a jelly doughnut, and usually icing, powdered sugar or conventional sugar on top.

 

[duncanp]

Didn't Kennedy cause some amusement though because the term "Berliner" is used, locally, to describe a type of doughnut. If he had been in Vienna and said he was a "Wiener" he would have said he was a type of sausage. If he had pronounced Wiener in the American way then everyone would have associated it with that part of the male anatomy that looks like a sausage.

Just as well he wasn't in the town of Vank in Southern Germany.

When you consider how the Germans would spell Vank, and what they would call someone who came from Vank, I think you can see what I mean.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Just as well he wasn't in the town of Vank in Southern Germany.

When you consider how the Germans would spell Vank, and what they would call someone who came from Vank, I think you can see what I mean.

The misspelling is not necessary - there are places with the correct spelling, if you see what I mean

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 26 Jul 2022 ==

Didn't Kennedy cause some amusement though because the term "Berliner" is used, locally, to describe a type of doughnut. If he had been in Vienna and said he was a "Wiener" he would have said he was a type of sausage. If he had pronounced Wiener in the American way then everyone would have associated it with that part of the male anatomy that looks like a sausage.

Ich bin ein Berliner = I am a doughnut
Ich bin Berliner = I am a person from Berlin.