Amusing incidents

[Phoenix]

Have you ever seen anything happen on the railways that made you laugh a little too much???
well heres your chance to tell us all again.
Share the laughter people.

 

[TEW]

When a drunk person fell out of a train at Menheniot, a station in the middle of nowhere after trying to get off while the doors where closing, probably shouldnt have been funny as they had to take him off in an ambulance.

 

[P156KWJ]

A man on the santa specials last year who was piddled complained at me because his complimentary sherry was too small (despite the fact it was twice the measure you get in pubs and it was FREE!)

And also, the man who would come to the buffet for a cup of coffee, then would come back and buy some crisps, then'd come back for some peanuts and I'm standin' there thinking 'why not just buy the lot at once?'

 

[JoshW1992]

When the Female Guard and Male Driver were talking together on the PA system, and not realising it was being broadcasted through the train, instead of just between themselves.
Something to do with 'topping themselves and jumping off.' :P

 

[class 313]

The guy stumbling out of the train at Bedford

 

[Spaceflower]

Some poor lass got on a bus I was on with her mate. The bus was full. Her mate must have cracked a joke and she started to laugh,.......very loudly,.............all the way to Durham,....like a donkey EEEE AAAWWW, EEE AAAAWWWW

Everyone on the bus was cracking up after that.................poor lass

 

[Bayum]

When the Female Guard and Male Driver were talking together on the PA system, and not realising it was being broadcasted through the train, instead of just between themselves.
Something to do with 'topping themselves and jumping off.' :P

Hahahaha one time, when a Train Manager was giving the whatfor about why a train had *really been delayed* went something around like, so and so had been rung up 20 minutes after the train should have departed the origin station, but he was having sex at the time with his wife... And the whole conversation was broadcast over the PA... On purpose? I really don't know...


Anyone know the AXC Train Manager who like, knows all the station times off by heart?? Usually found Working on Bournemouth runs as far as New Street... Beard, middle aged....

Anyways, it was him. Riot he is

 

[NSEFAN]

My uncle has told me of an interesting complaint on the old Connex South Central (most compalints were probably about the lateness of trains!) I think the story goes like this:

There was a deal along the lines of £1 for any journey or something, (in short, stupidly cheap tickets causing dangerous overcrowding) and naturally the train was completely full. Therefore, nobody could reach the toilets. One complaint was from a man who had been drinking beer ended up having to use his beer can!

 

[hairyhandedfool]

Announcement at Luton station around 2004:

"Please stand clear of the edge of Platform 5, a fast train is approaching and you wouldn't want to get sucked off".

 

[P156KWJ]

my mate dropping 6 pints of milk on the platform when it should have been going on the buffet

 

[43034 The Black Horse]

A Tramp on a train in Soton and the arms of his Glasses were an Elastic band, and for some reason, he put on his glasses pilled the lenses away from his face and let them go! A Few colourful words were said by him

 

[Oracle]

About thirty years ago the Evening Standard I think it was mentioned that there had been delays at some Kent commuter station so a usually non-stop Boat Train had been requested to stop and pick-up punters. The shout then went out that the train had a buffet car on board, so regulars piled into it. You can guess that they did not want a cup of hot beverage! There was so much noise and commotion that the steward had to call for quiet three times. One woman was so overcome by booze that she had to be carried off the train by two chaps..and this was on the way to work!

 

[Guinness]

A man having a **** on the side of 323 at Macclesfield Station one Saturday night...

 

[class 313]

Only in the north.

 

[Coxster]

Only in the north.

It might not be the same four letter word that you are probably thinking of.

 

[Phoenix]

It might not be the same four letter word that you are probably thinking of.

can you describe the word in a way which wouldn't be censored.

 

[EE Type 3]

A dump or a jolly jack off?

 

[Coxster]

A dump or a jolly jack off?

Or even just a humble p!ss? The possibilities are endless!

 

[EE Type 3]

Or even just a humble p!ss? The possibilities are endless!

Or having a cake?

 

[TheSlash]

Or even just a humble p!ss? The possibilities are endless!

Urinating is the word you are looking for

 

[Coxster]

Urinating is the word you are looking for

No - we were looking for a four letter word. Urinating has nine letters.

U = 1
R = 2
I = 3
N = 4
A = 5
T = 6
I = 7
N = 8
G = 9

 

[Jim]

Last night on 21.20 Soton-Bristol, (advertised as 2 services with the 'split' at Westbury. A bloke had lost his phone somewhere on the train. It had 15mins dwell time at Westbury, so he asked the guard if he could borrow his phone. After several phone calls and lots of LOL's from the traincrew outside, he found it (by which time the guard was getting annoyed as he was going home!

Anyway, the 1 with his phone then walked around looking the the 22.40 to Bristol (the continuation) and much to our amusment asked us - to which we told him it was the same unit. So all that panic to find his phone when he had until Bath Spa - top class


If you were there it was funny!

 

[Phoenix]

No - we were looking for a four letter word. Urinating has nine letters.

U = 1
R = 2
I = 3
N = 4
A = 5
T = 6
I = 7
N = 8
G = 9

Peter
Is
So
Silly

Figure it out.

 

[P156KWJ]

Only in the north.

true, in the south they'd **** up 2 trains hock:

 

[Mr Alex]

Peter
Is
So
Silly

Figure it out.

LOL!
You've brightened up my day all these stories

 

[MCR247]

What was really funny was about 5 years ago, i went to a match, forest against derby (i was to young to know who wanted to suport but i know now arsenal!) and the train was going from skegness-crewe. the train was full of forset fans and at long eaton 3 derby fans wanted to get on and all of the forest fans started swearing at them and one of them looked like he'd ****** himself! [might no be there you think] and a few forest fans jumped of the train and wanted to fight them but police told him to get back on the train!!!

 

[valentaman]

good old football trains wait til 20th december this year leicester v peterborough xc refuse to use more than usual 2/3 cars but are contracted to run specials and wont be doing so due to staff shortage ridiculous

xc get your act togehter of wise it will go down in here what i really think of them

just my xc rant tonite

 

[Phoenix]

good old football trains wait til 20th december this year leicester v peterborough xc refuse to use more than usual 2/3 cars but are contracted to run specials and wont be doing so due to staff shortage ridiculous

xc get your act togehter of wise it will go down in here what i really think of them

just my xc rant tonite

Honestly if they put a HST set on there it would help a great deal I know there is probably some issue that someone is bound to tell me but erm NO JUST DO IT!!!!
(sorry XC rant (Have to catch a XC170 everyday))

 

[P156KWJ]

how could they put a HST on a 170 diagram? The drivers of Stansted-Birmingham don't sign HSTs

 

[AlexS]

You use a route conductor for a Derby IC driver.