A slightly unusual request for help

[Ivo]

As should be pretty obvious from the title, this thread is a request for help. It has nothing to do with railways, hence it being in this section of the forum, but does relate to something that came up towards the end of last year.

That last clause probably gives it away: It's time for this to get an update.

After being too busy to attend to matters relating to girls, I have started to get somewhere again as a means of diverting my attention from University to prevent overworking myself. I have sent a couple of messages and the like, and will be sending (or at least trying to send!) another one later today, but obviously there is one thing that matters a lot - profile.

So, if I may I would like to ask people to have a quick look at my profile, and tell me what they think. It would be especially useful for me if anyone who has been on dating (there, I said it ) sites to do so if possible. Note that you don't need to be a member to do this.

Just a quick thought is all it needs, and it can be either on here or via PM. You're welcome to look at other stuff around my profile, but thoughts about the profile itself are what matter the most, although thoughts on pictures might be useful as well.

Thank you in advance, good people of RailUK

 

[Nym]

Is this someone complaining about being single, what if she lives in East Didsbury, how could you get there? *sniggers*

End of Class 323 jokes, but I honestly know noting of the dating thingey, but theres nothing that would put me off on that profile, other than seeking a female.

 

[Ivo]

Is this someone complaining about being single, what if she lives in East Didsbury, how could you get there? *sniggers*

That "no complaints" thing was last year! It lasted about a week in 2013

I've been to (or rather through) East Didsbury before, although given the choice of Enviro400 or Class 323 in the future I think I would choose the road option!

Nonetheless, thank you for responding

 

[richw]

The profile shouts that you want kids and soon, this may scare potential suitors off who are not wanting kids imminently.

Also

On a typical Friday night I am

Bored...

Perhaps elaborate that you would rather be doing some kind of activity with a girl. Fine dining, watching movies, etc As at the moment you're telling potential dates you spend your Evenings bored.

 

[Ivo]

This is why I asked this - because I knew you guys would be honest about what works and what does. This is practically "Pedant City" after all!

The profile shouts that you want kids and soon, this may scare potential suitors off who are not wanting kids imminently.

Perhaps elaborate that you would rather be doing some kind of activity with a girl. Fine dining, watching movies, etc As at the moment you're telling potential dates you spend your Evenings bored.

Both points addressed. Thank you

 

[telstarbox]

It's not bad Ivo. Remember that we can all make suggestions but it's got to be something that works for you and only you will know this for sure. That said:

- "Travelling" is a good way to get your interest across in a positive way
- I might suggest using the two best photos and leaving out the captions.

 

[deltic1989]

This is a rather difficult question for me to answer as i have to put myself in the mind of a Female. But lucky for you I have a member of the fairer sex close to hand and I asked her to give her opinions.

"He seems like a nice guy. Someone that should be given a chance."

When asked if she would date you based on the profile.

"yes I would, but maybe he could open up is search area a little because he is restricting his chances with those small areas"

Thanks must go to Mrs D for providing the above opinions and helping me to help you.

 

[Ivo]

I might suggest using the two best photos and leaving out the captions.

This sounds like fair advice but I have very few pictures of myself to compare against. almost all of the shots I have with me in them also have my niece in them - and I'm really not sure including her would be a good idea! Among all the pictures I have of us together, I have found only one which might work - but my face is at a 45° angle and turning it ruins the picture!

"He could open up is search area a little because he is restricting his chances with those small areas"

What does your partner mean by "small areas"? If she means the "Near me" towards the bottom, it and "Anywhere" are the only options - and "Anywhere" would result in an influx of matches from the US. That said, it has to be worth a try.

Thank you to Mrs D for helping And also for the apparent vote of confidence.

 

[Lrd]

Not a bad profile, there is just the right amount of detail.

Sorry I'm not commenting much, it's just that I am bit miffed as to why we are an 89% Match!

 

[Ivo]

Sorry I'm not commenting much, it's just that I am bit miffed as to why we are an 89% Match!

Oh. Um. OK?

I don't know which of the following is the most appropriate here...

hock::roll:

 

[Lrd]

Oh. Um. OK?

I don't know which of the following is the most appropriate here...

hock::roll:

No offence or anything but I definitely prefer the female kind :P

 

[telstarbox]

(Future) Mrs T says: you should give equal thought to how you would come across on a potential 'date' as to your profile - in the same way that you would prepare for a job interview as well as polishing your CV

 

[Ivo]

No offence or anything but I definitely prefer the female kind :P

You aren't alone Lewis

That said, I would recognise that picture as being yours anyway, and I already knew you preferred girls!

I'm a bit worried by that 89% too. Having said that, it would be worse if I hadn't already expected to see that, because seeing a visitor with such a high score - only to see it was a guy - would be rather depressing!

 

[Welshman]

Good Evening, Ivo,

Thank you for being so frank and honest on an open forum.

I met my second wife through a dating agency [she was 44, I was 46, and we'd both lost former partners to cancer].

I think I would want to know what your long-term intentions are, if the right lady is found. You say you are happy with a short-term or a long-term relationship, but I feel this could be a bone of contention with a possible serious suitor, and you need to let her know from the outset just how committed you intend to be. Are you wanting a short fling or a life-long relationship? I'm passing no judgment on either, but she needs to know, as indeed you do of her.

I also remember advice someone gave me at the time, and that is women are looking for one particular word in a man's description of himself - SOLVENT.

Now that probably was uttered half in jest, but I have feeling it is also half-true. I realise you can't use that word as it stands, but I feel it may be helpful to find a way of conveying the fact you are not going to bring any kind of financial burden to the relationship.

I wish you every success.

 

[Nym]

You are actually quite good at writing about yourself, fancy writing some of the review forms for me at work?

 

[Yew]

I might be tempted to take a few photos of yourself, the windermere photo is quite old now. Possibly try something more distinctive than a black tee shirt too? maybe a shirt, with the top buttons open without a tie? or the 'fashion' rugby shirts that seem to be all the rage in next? (Just ideas, look in your wardrobe and see what you think!)

 

[Ivo]

You are actually quite good at writing about yourself, fancy writing some of the review forms for me at work?

I honestly don't think I am that good at writing about myself! It's just that my writing style and ability is so, uh, refined (insert modesty here?) that even difficult things like self-promotion can become relatively straightforward.

Anyhow, how much are you offering?

I might be tempted to take a few photos of yourself, the windermere photo is quite old now. Possibly try something more distinctive than a black tee shirt too? maybe a shirt, with the top buttons open without a tie? or the 'fashion' rugby shirts that seem to be all the rage in next? (Just ideas, look in your wardrobe and see what you think!)

Let's see...

...a few black or dark blue t-shirts, two Everton jerseys (one home and one away), one black fleece, and one light blue shirt. That's pretty much it.

It couldn't hurt to try though, and I believe the setting around my University is such that a good and natural -looking shot should be pretty easy.

 

[deltic1989]

I think what Mrs D was driving at was, rather than saying "within 2 hours of Bath or Southend" say "Southern England" it may open up more potential matches that way.

It may interest you to know also that Mrs D and I met online, through Tagged. and we are as strong as ever after just over 3 years, so relationships started in cyberspace can be long and happy ones. I wish you the best of luck.
If you have any more questions regarding dating I'm sure your friends here will be more than happy to help.

 

[Eagle]

Glad to see you're sticking with this (reviewing the previous thread it seems that the whole online dating thing was my idea first :P).

Constructive criticisms: there's a bit too much "I don't really have"/"I'm not keen on" and so on. Focus on the positives. Like where you say you don't have many interests, and then proceed to give a decently-sized list of interests; it looks better (and is less wordy) to just have the list. I'd also say you could do with a bit more levity of tone and conciseness (I know you're a good writer and a funny guy, shouldn't be too hard for you ). Not knowing the site, I don't know if you have to answer all the questions; if not you could lose the "I spend most of my time thinking about" because there's no way any normal human could answer that and not sound weird :P

Other than that, looks fine. Also definitely mention Pokémon more. This might just be the circles I tend to move in but as far as I can tell basically everyone of our age (early/mid 20s) likes Pokémon.

I am bit miffed as to why we are an 89% Match!

(if I wasn't busy in the middle of revising for my finals I'd reedit that meme to use Lewis's profile picture.)

 

[telstarbox]

I think you definitely move in more Pokemon-heavy circles than most

 

[Yew]

I believe the setting around my University is such that a good and natural -looking shot should be pretty easy.

Maybe pick up a university hoodie? Or even and a few new items to your wardrobe? I have recently gone through the process of updating my clothing, evidenced by the fact that I now own a blue corduroy jacket, so far I have seen quite a few positive comments. It might not instantly find you a girlfriend, but it boosts your self esteem (I didn't expect it to, but it does) and it might increase the chances of a date being successful by a small amount. (I hate what I'm about to say, but I actually enjoy buying clothes now, although i might suggest asking a friend for a second opinion of choices at first, I used my surprisingly fashionable brother.)

Your mileage may vary, but good luck!

Yew

 

[Lrd]

I have to agree with Yew, trying out a new look can be very helpful with regards to self esteem and pride. You don't have to go too far, you don't even have to have big brands but a few outfits that you can look at yourself in and think nice things about yourself.

It's just like when you put a suit on, you can't really go wrong with a suit and you know it, so feel good about yourself.

 

[Ivo]

I've been steadily revising my profile based on what you guys have been saying, and I must say I think it's better than it was, so thank you!

I have to agree with Yew, trying out a new look can be very helpful with regards to self esteem and pride. You don't have to go too far, you don't even have to have big brands but a few outfits that you can look at yourself in and think nice things about yourself.

It's just like when you put a suit on, you can't really go wrong with a suit and you know it, so feel good about yourself.

Anything has to be better than the last new thing I tried on - a cosplay of Ash Ketchum! (There has to be a first for [almost] everything, right?)

...which, courtesy of it being designed for my brother, didn't fit.

 

[DarloRich]

Take out anything that isn't a positive. Always remember you are stood in an online meat market and you need to attract someone - you wont do that with negatives.

You need to be mega positive, maximize what you DO have. Also get a decent, good quality, recent picture of you looking smart but casual, presentable and clean and look happy but not nerdy (unless you are going for that whole moody/goth type thing - bear in mind that only works with other moody goths)

Yes it is shallow but people are just going to flick through the pictures and look at them and only read the profiles of someone they like the look off. Everyone will be no, no, argh minger, maybe, yes, no, no etc based on the pictures. Tat is your best chance of getting someone to take a look at you.

oh and dont tell anyone you are a spotter of any type - in fact dont even give that impression. It will not play well! You want mainstream interests that wont put anyone off.

Otherwise crack on. Don't get down hearted if you get no response, just keep plugging away. I find these things often reach a tipping point and suddenly people start to take notice.

(OBVIOUSLY I dont need to go on any form of on line dating site - this is just the kind of thing i assume plays well )

 

[Lrd]

Can someone please explain the "I Ship It" meme? I have no idea what it means

 

[EM2]

I have a single lady friend in Bristol, she's 28 and also went to uni at Bath Spa.
She's away on holiday at the moment, but when she's back I'll ask her to cast an eye over your profile.

 

[Nym]

Why should one update their wardrobe anyway, the only way forwards at the moment is backwards so if you just wear your old stuff and say you're being progressive you could proberbly pull it off.

(This is coming from someone who's last clothing purchase was a new pair of black jeans for work cos his old pair wore out, and before that had £120 of stuff for work baught for him (by work))

 

[Eagle]

Can someone please explain the "I Ship It" meme? I have no idea what it means

I'd normally say google it, but you'd probably just end up in the unbearable squealy gif-ridden parts of Tumblr, so Wikipedia will have to do :P

 

[Ivo]

I am increasingly agreeing with the photos idea and have therefore revised my "line-up". As a stop-gap, I have brightened the Windermere picture in full (because it is by far the by picture I have), and will endeavour to get a few more over the next few days. I just need to decide where to go to get them; as much as I dislike the idea, Weston-super-Mare may be the place to go...

I'd normally say google it, but you'd probably just end up in the unbearable squealy gif-ridden parts of Tumblr, so Wikipedia will have to do :P

Ah, shipping. The most amusing part of essentially any fandom in existence.

As I understand it, The X-Files was the first major series where it was a regular occurrence, with Pokémon being the first animated series and second overall. (Googling "I ship it" brings up Urban Dictionary and the Wiki link you provided first and second, and then a series of Tumblr etc stuff.)

I have a single lady friend in Bristol, she's 28 and also went to uni at Bath Spa.
She's away on holiday at the moment, but when she's back I'll ask her to cast an eye over your profile.

Oh, thank you. I have to say, before I got to know you I would never have expected a West Ham fan to help!

And as an example of the above, anyone who reads this and suddenly gets the idea that EM2's friend and I should "go out" is basically shipping us.

 

[Eagle]

Ah, shipping. The most amusing part of essentially any fandom in existence.

As I understand it, The X-Files was the first series where it was a regular occurrence, with Pokémon being the first animated series.

I think The X-Files was the first time is was actually declared as such, but I'm pretty sure Trekkies have been writing erotic fanfiction since the sixties.