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2016 Predictions
- Thread starter Domh245
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RailUK Forums
ExRes
Established Member
Ah, but if it's so absurd then why are they checking it out so regularly ?, other than in a misguided effort to 'save' the rest of us from its evils of course
Minilad
Established Member
For the LOLs. And to see how low they will sink. Have they blamed the floods on immigrants yet.
I'm sure you lap it all up though.
ExRes
Established Member
Oh dear, you've been and gone and made yourself look stupid, just because I don't join in with the ignorant comments made about the Daily Mail and its readership you automatically assume I'm a reader, WRONG
:roll:
Minilad
Established Member
bb21
Emeritus Moderator
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- 24,449
The Daily Mail seems to have become the new Hitler.
Now anyone has more predictions for 2016?
Now anyone has more predictions for 2016?
bb21
Emeritus Moderator
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In case some people do not get the hint, I will now make it explicit:
Please discuss matters to do with the Daily Mail in a separate thread if it has nothing to do with 2016 predictions. Thank you.
Please discuss matters to do with the Daily Mail in a separate thread if it has nothing to do with 2016 predictions. Thank you.
backontrack
Established Member
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backontrack
Established Member
It could happen...
Bevan Price
Established Member
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- 22 Apr 2010
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- 8,320
The greatest (UK) train ever built was withdrawn from active daily service about 50 years ago.
Techniquest
Veteran Member
I've just read this thread, and I'd forgotten Bald Rick's predictions last year! Good grief I laughed for ages at the one on opinions for Voyagers! The one about me getting my last Scottish unit still hasn't happened, but I might make progress this year 
Busaholic
Veteran Member
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My main prediction is of yet another revolutionary way of paying for goods and services, namely contactless cash. It will work like this - you go into a shop, select your purchases up to the value of £20, then you get out a £20 note and wave it in front of a special machine which will beep once it has authenticated the note, then you put the note back in your wallet ready to use again later, take your goods and leave. In fact, I have it on good authority that the Bank of England is so enamoured with the idea that they are rushing through a plastic £30 note so that the scheme can be extended to that limit. This will be available from April 1st.
Bevan Price
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A few extra predictions.
Music.
1. A rumour will spread that Elvis has been found alive in Woodhead Tunnel, accidentally entombed with the strategic reserve; later announced as a reporting error.
2. The X-Factor final will be contested by two "covers" bands - Dimension One, and Space Girls. The winner will be totally forgotten 6 months later.
3. The long awaited new direction for popular music - the first since punk in the 1970s - will again fail to occur.
Weather.
Rain will continue almost daily until 31 December. New designs for floating trains (a.k.a. "boats") will be discussed as the best way for providing public transport in much of Scotland & Northern England.
"Summer" will be 2 dry days in May, and 2 more in October.
Technology.
A device will be discovered to automatically deactivate mobile phones as soon as the user yells "I'm on a train".
Music.
1. A rumour will spread that Elvis has been found alive in Woodhead Tunnel, accidentally entombed with the strategic reserve; later announced as a reporting error.
2. The X-Factor final will be contested by two "covers" bands - Dimension One, and Space Girls. The winner will be totally forgotten 6 months later.
3. The long awaited new direction for popular music - the first since punk in the 1970s - will again fail to occur.
Weather.
Rain will continue almost daily until 31 December. New designs for floating trains (a.k.a. "boats") will be discussed as the best way for providing public transport in much of Scotland & Northern England.
"Summer" will be 2 dry days in May, and 2 more in October.
Technology.
A device will be discovered to automatically deactivate mobile phones as soon as the user yells "I'm on a train".
Busaholic
Veteran Member
- Joined
- 7 Jun 2014
- Messages
- 14,671
[QUOTE
Technology.
A device will be discovered to automatically deactivate mobile phones as soon as the user yells "I'm on a train".[/QUOTE]
Or, bearing in mind your prediction, ''I'm on a boat''
Technology.
A device will be discovered to automatically deactivate mobile phones as soon as the user yells "I'm on a train".[/QUOTE]
Or, bearing in mind your prediction, ''I'm on a boat''
Kite159
Veteran Member
Giving them 6 months is a lot better than the average of 6 weeks before being forgotten about until 9 months later when they pop back up saying "hey remember me, I've finished doing my album" only to be forgotten about once the album fails to break the top 75
backontrack
Established Member
These are all flippant (sorry for not italicising, but they'd be undermined that way):
Techniquest will go on the hunt for Scotrail units this year, camping out in Burger King at Glasgow Central because, unlike the Cally Sleeper under Serco, you know that it's going to be there. He fails at the last minute when stock is loaned to FGW (sorry, gWr).
D841 Roebuck will only travel on two trains this year, instead using trams to get everywhere he needs to. Due to the rapid expansion of the tram networks, eventually the Manchester, Sheffield and Nottingham tram systems will combine and become one when they all eventually touch - though the tram line to Birmingham New Street will still be under construction.
With the recent influx of new posters joining to write trip reports, Zac Goldsmith will write one himself, claiming that he 'loves northern railway stations'. When he's asked to name some of his favourite northern stations, Zac will claim that he 'can't remember any by name, but, you know, there's this lovely old building in, you know, the city...I think that's a good one...'
A 'Bermuda Park Triangle' will be created, sucking in and destroying any other planned rail infrastructure projects in the West Midlands for years to come. Coventry Arena will open in December, a week after Marsh Barton, a day before Kenilworth and months behind Low Moor, Kirkstall Forge and Ilkeston. Bermuda Park will eventually open, just after the first leg of HS2. New Street trams will start running a fortnight later.
HMS Ark Royal goes on more trips, but the furthest south he can safely go is Nottingham. Any further than that and he breaks into anaphylactic shock, caused by a condition known as 'southernitis'. He continues to seek Doctor Who companions and becomes convinced that he has seen Peri Brown aboard a pacer from Barnsley to Leeds.
Fishquinn's hatred of Snow Hill will continue to grow until he eventually creates an evil plan to destroy the whole station and replace it with a four-storey Costa Coffee, complete with expanded tram station and its own Baguette World. A bridge with different plane-style windows and strange glass for photography will be provided straddling the length of the complex for enthusiasts, all rail movements north from New Street will be moved to run via Snow Hill, and all trains will now run non-stop between Moor Street and Jewellery Quarter. His proposition is unsurprisingly supported by every forum member except HMS Ark Royal, (who wants the money to go to diverting the ECML to run via a bridge over the Humber to Hull and then through Beverley), but the plan is destroyed by the Birmingham City Council. Fishquinn then decides to turn Birmingham New Street into a massive shopping centre, but he fails after discovering that this has already been done.
A new subforum will be created called 'Wetherspoons Planning & Reports', to be moderated by Max, Mike395, 47043 & The Laird of Midlothian. This will eventually outgrow the rest of the forum and be deleted, causing many members to leave the forum but also RailUK's average IQ to be massively increased.
Ainsworth74 and IanXC will lead a revolution against those who do not like Voyagers after their presence at the top of the RailUK homepage is questioned. Yorkie will be overthrown as leader and the crown will be passed between various members, eventually landing at the feet of... HMS Ark Royal, who will also become Prime Minister. Various forum members, including yours truly, will be inducted into his cabinet, with jaffa840 as Chancellor of the Exchequer, 47043 as Home Secretary and Kite159 as Secretary of State for the South (a revamped defence post). I will become Minister for Energy, Fishquinn will become Minister for Environment, Food, Rural Affairs and Creamy Coolers, Greenback will become SofS for Wales and Alexf380 SofS for Scotland, and a collective board will control Transport (resulting in the closure of all motorways, 442s from Brighton to Mallaig via Nottingham and Appleby, and Haxby finally being reopened). Downing Street will be closed and the UK instead controlled from Paul Sidorczuk's (Work & Pensions) mansion at Prestbury, despite protests that this is too far south.
More seriously:
With so many reopenings planned, TOCs will struggle to get them completed before the December timetable change. At least one will be delayed and open at some time in February, most likely Marsh Barton or Kenilworth, although it could be held over further into the May 2017 timetable change.
Also, some 144s will stay on the network as 144e-s.
Apologies and thanks to all those parodied.
Techniquest will go on the hunt for Scotrail units this year, camping out in Burger King at Glasgow Central because, unlike the Cally Sleeper under Serco, you know that it's going to be there. He fails at the last minute when stock is loaned to FGW (sorry, gWr).
D841 Roebuck will only travel on two trains this year, instead using trams to get everywhere he needs to. Due to the rapid expansion of the tram networks, eventually the Manchester, Sheffield and Nottingham tram systems will combine and become one when they all eventually touch - though the tram line to Birmingham New Street will still be under construction.
With the recent influx of new posters joining to write trip reports, Zac Goldsmith will write one himself, claiming that he 'loves northern railway stations'. When he's asked to name some of his favourite northern stations, Zac will claim that he 'can't remember any by name, but, you know, there's this lovely old building in, you know, the city...I think that's a good one...'
A 'Bermuda Park Triangle' will be created, sucking in and destroying any other planned rail infrastructure projects in the West Midlands for years to come. Coventry Arena will open in December, a week after Marsh Barton, a day before Kenilworth and months behind Low Moor, Kirkstall Forge and Ilkeston. Bermuda Park will eventually open, just after the first leg of HS2. New Street trams will start running a fortnight later.
HMS Ark Royal goes on more trips, but the furthest south he can safely go is Nottingham. Any further than that and he breaks into anaphylactic shock, caused by a condition known as 'southernitis'. He continues to seek Doctor Who companions and becomes convinced that he has seen Peri Brown aboard a pacer from Barnsley to Leeds.
Fishquinn's hatred of Snow Hill will continue to grow until he eventually creates an evil plan to destroy the whole station and replace it with a four-storey Costa Coffee, complete with expanded tram station and its own Baguette World. A bridge with different plane-style windows and strange glass for photography will be provided straddling the length of the complex for enthusiasts, all rail movements north from New Street will be moved to run via Snow Hill, and all trains will now run non-stop between Moor Street and Jewellery Quarter. His proposition is unsurprisingly supported by every forum member except HMS Ark Royal, (who wants the money to go to diverting the ECML to run via a bridge over the Humber to Hull and then through Beverley), but the plan is destroyed by the Birmingham City Council. Fishquinn then decides to turn Birmingham New Street into a massive shopping centre, but he fails after discovering that this has already been done.
A new subforum will be created called 'Wetherspoons Planning & Reports', to be moderated by Max, Mike395, 47043 & The Laird of Midlothian. This will eventually outgrow the rest of the forum and be deleted, causing many members to leave the forum but also RailUK's average IQ to be massively increased.
Ainsworth74 and IanXC will lead a revolution against those who do not like Voyagers after their presence at the top of the RailUK homepage is questioned. Yorkie will be overthrown as leader and the crown will be passed between various members, eventually landing at the feet of... HMS Ark Royal, who will also become Prime Minister. Various forum members, including yours truly, will be inducted into his cabinet, with jaffa840 as Chancellor of the Exchequer, 47043 as Home Secretary and Kite159 as Secretary of State for the South (a revamped defence post). I will become Minister for Energy, Fishquinn will become Minister for Environment, Food, Rural Affairs and Creamy Coolers, Greenback will become SofS for Wales and Alexf380 SofS for Scotland, and a collective board will control Transport (resulting in the closure of all motorways, 442s from Brighton to Mallaig via Nottingham and Appleby, and Haxby finally being reopened). Downing Street will be closed and the UK instead controlled from Paul Sidorczuk's (Work & Pensions) mansion at Prestbury, despite protests that this is too far south.
More seriously:
With so many reopenings planned, TOCs will struggle to get them completed before the December timetable change. At least one will be delayed and open at some time in February, most likely Marsh Barton or Kenilworth, although it could be held over further into the May 2017 timetable change.
Also, some 144s will stay on the network as 144e-s.
Apologies and thanks to all those parodied.
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sprinterguy
Veteran Member
I will be watching closely for developments regarding this subject.
Very funny post overall, backontrack, cheers for that.
backontrack
Established Member
You're welcome. 
Rest assured that a brand new government position is being created for you, Beer Secretary.
Rest assured that a brand new government position is being created for you, Beer Secretary.
sprinterguy
Veteran Member
I'll accept that gladly, cheers.You're welcome.
Point of trivia, but there is in fact a position in government for a Community Pubs Minister. As an individual who will gladly devote his time to propping up the bar for the good of the nation, I want that job.
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backontrack
Established Member
Also, an extra point:
'Lord Tech', 'Lord Fish' and 'Lord Spoon Goon of the Tyne' to be given peerages, so that they can actually call themselves Lords from now on. :P
'Lord Tech', 'Lord Fish' and 'Lord Spoon Goon of the Tyne' to be given peerages, so that they can actually call themselves Lords from now on. :P
DasLunatic
Member
- Joined
- 11 May 2015
- Messages
- 696
Some predictions in the world of football.
Chelsea, Aston Villa and Sunderland to be demoted.
Arsenal to win the Premier League, with Leicester coming 3rd.
Wolves, Derby and Brighton to be promoted into the Premier League.
England knocked out of Euro 16 at quarter finals.
Chelsea, Aston Villa and Sunderland to be demoted.
Arsenal to win the Premier League, with Leicester coming 3rd.
Wolves, Derby and Brighton to be promoted into the Premier League.
England knocked out of Euro 16 at quarter finals.
tsr
Established Member
There is an "operational incident" involving Tangmere of such severity that, during a railtour scheduled via Bromley South, she mysteriously ends up on the Tramlink network at Sandilands with a full rake of Mk2s. Even the RAIB are baffled at this, due to the lack of relevant track.
Southeastern rebrand the Ashford Intl-Dover Priory route as "High Speed -1" and the route map is rebranded in the style of a department store lift plan.
An enthusiast using a ticket to Looe gets a penalty fare in a sting at Coombe Junction Halt due to being "off-route". The RPI tries to insist they pay them for a rail replacement taxi to Moorswater Cement.
Southeastern rebrand the Ashford Intl-Dover Priory route as "High Speed -1" and the route map is rebranded in the style of a department store lift plan.
An enthusiast using a ticket to Looe gets a penalty fare in a sting at Coombe Junction Halt due to being "off-route". The RPI tries to insist they pay them for a rail replacement taxi to Moorswater Cement.
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Techniquest
Veteran Member
Sure it could! England played some awesome T20 cricket against Pakistan recently.
backontrack
Established Member
I wonder how well these stack up today?
Techniquest
Veteran Member
Well having re-read your post (be warned I'm under the influence of 6 adult beverages...) and bursting out laughing, that much is good news! I still haven't festered at BK in Glasgow Central, although it could still happen!
backontrack
Established Member
The only thing that festers at Burger King is, well, all their food.
I think Ben Stokes probably wakes up crying in the middle of the night now.
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