The ideal money no object station pub (fantasy)

[Egg Centric]

BTW, if you're offering to put up the capital, I can open my station pub

I'm not offering to put up the capital, I'm more of an ideas guy .

But what would the ideal money-no-object/senile investor station pub look like I wonder? Here's my wish list, some of which are more plausible than others. Unfortunately I don't think there's a single station it's possible at at the moment, but since you're going to need a new build anyway perhaps one could be opened at eg Shap Summit

• Last orders at midnight or half an hour past last train, whichever is latest
• At least 8 real ales on tap
• A microbrewery
• An exclusive partnership with eg Westmalle Abbey to get Trappist stuff
• Easy accessibility from every platform
• Fantastic viewing area of every possible type of rail traffic.
• Separately, a bit where you are inches away from high speed trains at full speed separated only by glass.
• Warm enough in the summer to sit outside drinking something light
• Wood panelling
• Chesterfields
• Stained Glass
• Cold enough in the winter to sit indoors in front of a hot fire
• Beautiful scenery
• Dogs allowed
• A slightly alcoholic pub dog that licks your empty glasses
• A clientele of mostly railway enthusiasts and desperate recently divorced models out to find themselves
• No yobs
• No stag does
• Hen does
• No city boys
• No music except for live music
• Some guest accommodation, preferably in an old signal box or something else with history
• Proper homemade pies, fish and chips in dripping
• Excellent WiFi, but electronic devices only allowed in half the pub
• A great railway related library
• Traditional board games
• Collectible pint glasses
• Off sale licence for taking things onto trains
• Delivery service for said off sales onto passing stoppers (includes the pies)
• An enigmatic landlord with a mysterious past (eg Foreign Legion)

 

[yorksrob]

What an excellent idea for a thread

For me as a punter:

-Cask ale (obviously) including always a light ale between 4 and 4.5%
-Ideally outdoor seating on the platform to watch the trains
-If music 60's/70's/80's (or a good juke box)
-Decent snacks - sausage rolls/pasties/cheese rolls in clingfilm etc including veg options
-Rail themed decor - including lots of pictures of trains (especially Southern Region slam door units)
-Seating upholstered in BR moquette (Trojan or Bournemouth blue).

As a proprietor:

-all of the above
-Reasonably busy station, preferably a junction.
-Reasonable way away from other pubs.
-Station and external access

 

[Topological]

Have you just found a good use for Ashford International?

 

[yorksrob]

Have you just found a good use for Ashford International?

It's a shame they dismantled most of the old footbridge/booking office - it could have been a Travellers Fare theme pub (including Cadburys hot chocolate machine)!

 

[izvor]

Agree with all the above except - please! - pub cat not dog. Or parrot, preferably Norwegian Blue.

I've been in too many pubs where the landlord's dog(s) slobber all over you, or sniff your crotch, or bark at everyone that comes through the door, or run around uncontrolled, or just plain stink, or some/all of these. "Oh, he's only being friendly!"

And one where I actually got bitten - "Well he's never done that before!" Wetherspoons have the right idea here.

In fact, gimme rioting kids any day...

 

[Harpo]

Must be a pub with some food (e.g. cobs). Not a restaurant with some beer.

Real beers must be of various styles and not all ‘pale/golden whatever’. (Legal requirement for all pubs north of Coventry to have a dark mild! )

Real ciders of traditional strength and style not fizzy transparent 4% pish.

Glasses. Not disposable plastics.

Crisp packets must contain more than six crisps. Healthy eating option - unsalted crisps.

Noisy live music* area & quiet spots where it can be avoided.
(*Musicians - Not professional karaoke.)

Smoke/vape free areas outside. Designated smoke/vape area signposted in miles and chains.

 

[warthogsoveruk]

A bar billiards table, doesn't take up too much space.
Big jar with giant pickled onions.

 

[Llandudno]

Maybe use the Tite and Locke at Lancaster station as a template…!

 

[Zomboid]

It needs a soft play and affordable soft drinks. And no punters tutting at the presence of children.

 

[Ashley Hill]

•A good selection of real ales.
•Staff who know how to look after them.
•Buxom bar maid (Other choices available)
•Good solid pub grub.
•Decent juke box (70s/80s electronica preferred,or Krautrock)
•Child free
•Pub cat
•Decent opening hours
•Decent view of passing trains

 

[NCT]

As long as it’s not a Spoons.

 

[cryptus]

Most of the above, but in addition:

• A station departure board would be a must surely.
• As a lager drinker (yes boo hiss etc), more interesting choice than the usual macro brands.
• A quiz machine that only asks railway-related questions

 

[yorksrob]

It needs a soft play and affordable soft drinks. And no punters tutting at the presence of children.

I think it would be fine for well behaved children, so long as they undertand that the pub is a "grown-up" place and not an extension of the living room.

The child has the excitement of being allowed into a grown up place, much like accompanying mum and dad to the polling station.

Affordable soft drinks are a must.

 

[Zomboid]

I think it would be fine for well behaved children, so long as they undertand that the pub is a "grown-up" place and not an extension of the living room.

The child has the excitement of being allowed into a grown up place, much like accompanying mum and dad to the polling station.

Affordable soft drinks are a must.

I was being slightly facetious, but at the moment places that don't cater to children are no use to me whatsoever. And if I've got a reason to wait at a station long enough to use a pub, the kids need entertainment. Heathrow T2 has a pretty decent soft play.

 

[yorksrob]

I was being slightly facetious, but at the moment places that don't cater to children are no use to me whatsoever. And if I've got a reason to wait at a station long enough to use a pub, the kids need entertainment. Heathrow T2 has a pretty decent soft play.

That's a problem admittedly. The big stations are large enough to have soft play.


Not Lancaster though.

 

[Mikey C]

A decent range of local real ales
Interesting craft and lagers
The usual other drinks
A station departure screen
Access to the platforms and "outside" if possible, as with The York Tap for example.
A decent amount of seating inside, and indeed on the platform (again The York Tap ticks this off)
Nice interior with a bit of history, but still practical rather than being a museum piece, as it needs to be able to deal with large number of people
Good toilets
Good 5G reception or WiFi

 

[Egg Centric]

The child has the excitement of being allowed into a grown up place, much like accompanying mum and dad to the polling station.

Not sure that many kids have had a lot of fun in a polling booth

 

[AndrewE]

Not sure that many kids have had a lot of fun in a polling booth

are they even allowed to accompany parents in? I thought that "alone with your ballot paper" was one of the rules - apart from postal voting where it obviously can't be enforced!

 

[Harpo]

are they even allowed to accompany parents in? I thought that "alone with your ballot paper" was one of the rules - apart from postal voting where it obviously can't be enforced!

I’ve been allowed to take a child in to a poll booth with me (pretty important to get them involved) but I believe that allowing them to mark the paper stepped beyond the bounds of what’s allowed.

 

[Peter Wilde]

Some fabulous ideas here, many of which I'd support. Hope some pub-(Tee hee)-lic spirited person will revisit this thread in a week or two and distil (-ditto-) a list of the most well supported themes. Then we can work on finding the right firm to open such a pub, or a chain of them.

 

[yorksrob]

I was being slightly facetious, but at the moment places that don't cater to children are no use to me whatsoever. And if I've got a reason to wait at a station long enough to use a pub, the kids need entertainment. Heathrow T2 has a pretty decent soft play.

Not sure that many kids have had a lot of fun in a polling booth

I found it exciting to be part of the grown up world - and connected to the news as well !

Perhaps I was a bit weird

 

[Egg Centric]

I found it exciting to be part of the grown up world - and connected to the news as well !

Perhaps I was a bit weird

I don't think I entered a polling booth until I was 18 and I found the instructions pretty easy

Made a difference in my first general election too. Someone came joint last because of me, instead of last.

 

[yorksrob]

I don't think I entered a polling booth until I was 18 and I found the instructions pretty easy

Made a difference in my first general election too. Someone came joint last because of me, instead of last.

You missed out. I think I accompanied my parents to the ones in the 1980's.

 

[Shimbleshanks]

I could supply the enigmatic landlord with a mysterious past (Foreign Legion) from within the ranks of my own family. Though come to think of it, there was not really anything enigmatic about how he ended up, more inevitability...

 

[Egg Centric]

You missed out. I think I accompanied my parents to the ones in the 1980's.

Sliding into drunken rambles (which I consider to be fine in the context of this thread) but it's weird what people miss out on. My school had a weird policy of the tuckshop working through a "cheque" system which you had to use just like a real cheque. I'm not sure if I've ever signed a cheque in real life but know all about the balancing them and the stubs and writing out both in natural language and figures and so on cause of that. I guess at the time it seemed to them they were preparing us for what they thought our life was going to be - and it wasn't but for reasons not entirely forseeable at the time. Maybe now they teach kids to use Klarna to get Haribo.

I could supply the enigmatic landlord with a mysterious past (Foreign Legion) from within the ranks of my own family. Though come to think of it, there was not really anything enigmatic about how he ended up, more inevitability...

If you can keep him on ice it'd be handy. The capital raising isn't going particularly well yet but never say never

 

[Shimbleshanks]

Sliding into drunken rambles (which I consider to be fine in the context of this thread) but it's weird what people miss out on. My school had a weird policy of the tuckshop working through a "cheque" system which you had to use just like a real cheque. I'm not sure if I've ever signed a cheque in real life but know all about the balancing them and the stubs and writing out both in natural language and figures and so on cause of that. I guess at the time it seemed to them they were preparing us for what they thought our life was going to be - and it wasn't but for reasons not entirely forseeable at the time. Maybe now they teach kids to use Klarna to get Haribo.

If you can keep him on ice it'd be handy. The capital raising isn't going particularly well yet but never say never

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 6 Sep 2026 ==

Sliding into drunken rambles (which I consider to be fine in the context of this thread) but it's weird what people miss out on. My school had a weird policy of the tuckshop working through a "cheque" system which you had to use just like a real cheque. I'm not sure if I've ever signed a cheque in real life but know all about the balancing them and the stubs and writing out both in natural language and figures and so on cause of that. I guess at the time it seemed to them they were preparing us for what they thought our life was going to be - and it wasn't but for reasons not entirely forseeable at the time. Maybe now they teach kids to use Klarna to get Haribo.

If you can keep him on ice it'd be handy. The capital raising isn't going particularly well yet but never say never

If your financiers find out that this guy's involved, the venture is pretty much doomed from the start...

 

[GingerSte]

OK, so my ideal station pub (as opposed to any other type of pub)

• Decent beer garden, with opportunities to (safely) watch trains go by.
• Located at a station where some trains go fast through the station.
• Decent collection of beers, lagers and ciders including local varieties.
• Opportunity to serve overpriced coffees to commuters in the morning, perhaps with a service hatch and a phone number to order in advance.
• Decent food offering.
• Very happy to go with the Chesterfields mentioned by the OP.
• I'll disagree with the OP on the "no music" thing, but would keep the music down (and a touch more jazz-oriented - but that's my personal preference).