The ideal money no object station pub (fantasy)

[Egg Centric]

BTW, if you're offering to put up the capital, I can open my station pub

I'm not offering to put up the capital, I'm more of an ideas guy .

But what would the ideal money-no-object/senile investor station pub look like I wonder? Here's my wish list, some of which are more plausible than others. Unfortunately I don't think there's a single station it's possible at at the moment, but since you're going to need a new build anyway perhaps one could be opened at eg Shap Summit

• Last orders at midnight or half an hour past last train, whichever is latest
• At least 8 real ales on tap
• A microbrewery
• An exclusive partnership with eg Westmalle Abbey to get Trappist stuff
• Easy accessibility from every platform
• Fantastic viewing area of every possible type of rail traffic.
• Separately, a bit where you are inches away from high speed trains at full speed separated only by glass.
• Warm enough in the summer to sit outside drinking something light
• Wood panelling
• Chesterfields
• Stained Glass
• Cold enough in the winter to sit indoors in front of a hot fire
• Beautiful scenery
• Dogs allowed
• A slightly alcoholic pub dog that licks your empty glasses
• A clientele of mostly railway enthusiasts and desperate recently divorced models out to find themselves
• No yobs
• No stag does
• Hen does
• No city boys
• No music except for live music
• Some guest accommodation, preferably in an old signal box or something else with history
• Proper homemade pies, fish and chips in dripping
• Excellent WiFi, but electronic devices only allowed in half the pub
• A great railway related library
• Traditional board games
• Collectible pint glasses
• Off sale licence for taking things onto trains
• Delivery service for said off sales onto passing stoppers (includes the pies)
• An enigmatic landlord with a mysterious past (eg Foreign Legion)

 

[yorksrob]

What an excellent idea for a thread

For me as a punter:

-Cask ale (obviously) including always a light ale between 4 and 4.5%
-Ideally outdoor seating on the platform to watch the trains
-If music 60's/70's/80's (or a good juke box)
-Decent snacks - sausage rolls/pasties/cheese rolls in clingfilm etc including veg options
-Rail themed decor - including lots of pictures of trains (especially Southern Region slam door units)
-Seating upholstered in BR moquette (Trojan or Bournemouth blue).

As a proprietor:

-all of the above
-Reasonably busy station, preferably a junction.
-Reasonable way away from other pubs.
-Station and external access

 

[Topological]

Have you just found a good use for Ashford International?

 

[yorksrob]

Have you just found a good use for Ashford International?

It's a shame they dismantled most of the old footbridge/booking office - it could have been a Travellers Fare theme pub (including Cadburys hot chocolate machine)!

 

[izvor]

Agree with all the above except - please! - pub cat not dog. Or parrot, preferably Norwegian Blue.

I've been in too many pubs where the landlord's dog(s) slobber all over you, or sniff your crotch, or bark at everyone that comes through the door, or run around uncontrolled, or just plain stink, or some/all of these. "Oh, he's only being friendly!"

And one where I actually got bitten - "Well he's never done that before!" Wetherspoons have the right idea here.

In fact, gimme rioting kids any day...

 

[Harpo]

Must be a pub with some food (e.g. cobs). Not a restaurant with some beer.

Real beers must be of various styles and not all ‘pale/golden whatever’. (Legal requirement for all pubs north of Coventry to have a dark mild! )

Real ciders of traditional strength and style not fizzy transparent 4% pish.

Glasses. Not disposable plastics.

Crisp packets must contain more than six crisps. Healthy eating option - unsalted crisps.

Noisy live music* area & quiet spots where it can be avoided.
(*Musicians - Not professional karaoke.)

Smoke/vape free areas outside. Designated smoke/vape area signposted in miles and chains.

 

[warthogsoveruk]

A bar billiards table, doesn't take up too much space.
Big jar with giant pickled onions.