Trivia: Unusual or Amusing Messages to Passengers

[fairysdad]

"A reminder that smoking is not permitted anywhere on this service; this especially includes the toilets at the rear of Coach C."

 

[Ken X]

I was at Farringdon last evening around 18:30 waiting for a Southbound Thames link train and the announcer just did not stop wittering. I hope he's paid by the word. .

We had lectures on not running, how to board the train, how to move through a busy platform, how to identify the correct train etc. I kid you not, I was there for around twenty minutes and he did not stop once.

Full marks for effort but really ?

 

[Travelmonkey]

I've always assumed whoever chose the original sets of codes knew exactly what they were doing when they chose "VD" for passenger being taken ill. Like I also reckon they knew exactly what they were doing when they made driver unavailable "TG" (surely a guard being unavailable should be TG!).

I still like "M8" problem with the train "M8"

 

[Signal Head]

During a period of severe disruption on the WCML Trent Valley route (may have been the liner derailment in 1991), with all services funnelled via the usual diversionary route between Bushbury and Stechford. Our London-bound train, after crawling along on a succession of signals clearing to yellow on approach, came to a stand a short while later owing to congestion ahead.
After several minutes, our guard made an announcement which included, somewhat in the style of a coach tour guide: "if you look to your right, you will see the Aston Villa football stadium. Many famous teams have come to grief here, and by the looks of it, so have we..."

 

[eta]

I had a train manager on Avanti in December 2024 who was clearly some form of crank, judging from one of his announcements:

...this service is diverted via Manchester due to engineering works; on our lovely tour of Manchester you will see such sights as Astley user-worked crossing and Golborne Junction; aren't you lucky!

 

[davart]

There was a conductor in the late 90s on Barnsley to Sheffield services who used to start announcements with a 'Cockadoodledoo' air horn then proceed with 'Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen, Grandmas and Grandads, Aunties and Uncles, Inlaws and Outlaws...'

Used to get a few smiles but it did occasionally grate if you got it a few mornings in a row.

 

[stephen rp]

In the days of loco-hauled trains at Euston, and LE being released to work another train... I can't recall what was actually going on but our Manchester train seemed delayed longer than others, and the guard finally announced, "I'm sorry for the late departure. This was due to the incompetence of the staff at Euston".

Not a message to passengers, but the staff office at Piccadilly once got a delay report for a tail light out on a freightliner (relatively common if there was no container on the last wagon, so oil lamps blew out). At the time (late 60s), the railway press had been reporting some new coaches suffering lateral motion as "oscillation", and the guard's report said "The tail lamp went out due to oscillation". The staff clerk said the report was a bit thin and to pad it out - e.g. what was the weather like. Back came the report, "The tail lamp went out due to oscillation. The weather was bleak."

 

[swaldman]

My favourite railway announcement ever was on Northern, I forget exactly where, and it went,
"Ladies and gentlemen, we will shortly be arriving at $place. If you're leaving us here, well you'd best get a wiggle on as I left this announcement really late"

Not railway-related, but I think worth mentioning is this one from a British Airways captain upon pushback at Heathrow:
"I'm sorry for our delayed departure; this is because BA won't employ enough staff. Perhaps if you complain, they'll listen to their customers more than they listen to their captains"

 

[Skimpot flyer]

You should be baa-ed for that one

 

[michael8]

It's about a National Express coach so please forgive me but it was so funny I just have to share it - the driver had such a sore throat, his voice was so raspy and quiet, and he leaned so much into the microphone to make an announcement that it was both the scariest and funniest thing I've ever heard - many passengers were laughing - it sounded like we were being addressed personally and intimately by Hannibal Lecter. Completely unintentionally, and kudos to him for trying with such a rough voice - but it was utterly terrifying to say the least!

 

[MaidaVale]

Following an initial PA regarding the train in the Waterloo W&C Departures platform not being in service whilst we were shunting one into the depot, I instinctively followed the shunt move up with the PA;

"The train now approaching this platform is your service calling all stations to Bank via... uh.. Bank."

For those of you that might not be aware, Bank is the only other station on the line. As I'm sure you can tell, PAs are not part of our normal remit in service control, Just force of habit I guess haha.

 

[Deepgreen]

Not for passengers, but these signs were to be found at large stations in the 70s and 80s.

 

[Ian Hardy]

On 08/02/2000, I caught the 17:20 from Doncaster to Kings Cross, it had started at Newcastle and it was running 19 minutes late. On departure from Doncaster, the Senior Conductor announced "I am sorry but this service has been delayed due to high winds in the Northern Hemisphere and therefore the train is running at a reduced speed."

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 6 Nov 2025 ==

Heard over the Public Address System at Acton Town at about 17:30 one weekday evening:
"The next service to call at Platform 2 will be the Sardine Special to Heathrow Terminals 1 2 3".

 

[Travelmonkey]

an unusal one at Burton today

*image of a PIS screen displaying the bellow text in white on a black background.

After 47 years of railway service, the longest serving member of Burton-on-Trent Railway Station will be completing his final shift in the ticket office on Saturday 8th November. The team at Burton would like to thank Steve for his support and hope he enjoys his retirement

 

[Deepgreen]

an unusal one at Burton today

*image of a PIS screen displaying the bellow text in white on a black background.



View attachment 191906

It wasn't that loud! Seriously, though - a fine sentiment.

 

[adc82140]

Amusing to me in the mid 1990s. The summary screen at Fleet displayed one morning:

BBC Computer
Acorn DFS
Basic

Showed how old the technology was.

 

[greenline712]

Several years ago on a TPE service from York to Newcastle ... "apologies for the late departure from York. I've had a word with the driver, and he'll go up to Warp 6 to try to make up time."

 

[Galactic142]

On Lancaster station tonight and the despatcher was clearly having fun -

"Next train at platform 3 is the 17.46 Yorkshire Pullman service to Leeds" (it was a two-car 158) followed a few minutes later by "... the Train-a-Grand Vitesse to Barrow-in-Furness!"

 

[Purple Train]

On Lancaster station tonight and the despatcher was clearly having fun -

"Next train at platform 3 is the 17.46 Yorkshire Pullman service to Leeds" (it was a two-car 158) followed a few minutes later by "... the Train-a-Grand Vitesse to Barrow-in-Furness!"

Indeed, I heard that last time I was there and it did raise a chuckle! Presumably the same man, of All The Stations fame.

 

[MoominAndChips]

Several years ago on a TPE service from York to Newcastle ... "apologies for the late departure from York. I've had a word with the driver, and he'll go up to Warp 6 to try to make up time."

On a very delayed flight from Manchester to London City: "Don't worry, we'll fly it like we stole it to try and make some time up!"

 

[MarkWi72]

9P37 Euston - Preston via NS, tonight , is late leaving because the driver needed his break.

I’d be a bit annoyed if I was the driver - he’s entitled to it , but has been thrown under the train there..

 

[enginedin]

9P37 Euston - Preston via NS, tonight , is late leaving because the driver needed his break.

I’d be a bit annoyed if I was the driver - he’s entitled to it , but has been thrown under the train there..

Just to stop anyone else being confused, I assume you mean 9P97

RTT doesn't show the delay reason, but traintimes.org.uk says:

> This train has been delayed by train crew being delayed by service disruption

(https://traintimes.org.uk/live/train/202511098710496?from=STA)

I assume this is either code FE ("Train crew not available including after rest") or YJ ("Late arrival of booked inward train-crew (where the inward and outward trains worked by that train-crew are operated under the same Track Access Contract)")? (using https://wiki.openraildata.com/index.php/Delay_Attribution_Guide as a guide)

 

[kevconnor]

I had a train manager on Avanti in December 2024 who was clearly some form of crank, judging from one of his announcements:

This reminded me of a Virgin Trains service I was on in about 2015, leaving Manchester on the first service of the day, it was to run Stockport - Macclesfield - Stoke on Trent then down the Trent Valley. Announcement by the Train Manager after being stopped in Stoke for about 10 minutes, first announcement fairly normal and informative.

'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry for the delay, this is due to overunning engineering works on the Trent Valley, we're waiting on further information from control, once I have any more information, I will let you know'

Then just before we set off we got this announcement.

'Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience, we're now embarking on a magical mystery tour of the west midlands, we have been instructed by control to head to Stafford, this was not our scheduled route and this was not my favourite Beatles Album, I much preferred Sgt Pepper, After Stafford I am unsure where we will end up, Sandwell and Dudley maybe, there aren't many other stations that begin with S dowj towards Euston, but we will get you to Euston eventually, I am just presently unsure which route we will be taking.'

'Once we got to Stafford the announcements returned to normal.

 

[dgl]

Amusing to me in the mid 1990s. The summary screen at Fleet displayed one morning:

BBC Computer
Acorn DFS
Basic

Showed how old the technology was.

Probably used some form of teletext/viewdata system, which had the font/graphics support already there. It probably had the code that it ran in ROM and it hadn't loaded for some reason, or needed loading manually.

 

[enginedin]

This photo taken at Kings Cross a few days ago shows summary screens still do sometimes get confused


(Photo shows technical information about the operating system and IT network instead of upcoming train services)

 

[4COR]

Arriving in Leeds around 2001ish:

"We are shortly arriving at Leeds. For those Southerners on the train, please have your passports ready for inspection and be advised that ordering anything other than Tetley's is considered a deportable offence."

 

[james_the_xv]

Arriving in Leeds around 2001ish:

"We are shortly arriving at Leeds. For those Southerners on the train, please have your passports ready for inspection and be advised that ordering anything other than Tetley's is considered a deportable offence."

Not Yorkshire Tea???

 

[Royston Vasey]

Not Yorkshire Tea???

Tetley's Bitter, Yorkshire Tea of course!

 

[trainophile]

Not really an announcement, but on Avanti’s Journey Check today:

14:59 London Euston to Holyhead due 18:47


Facilities on the 14:59 London Euston to Holyhead due 18:47.
This train will run in reverse formation to Chester. First class now located in the centre.

Can’t help wondering where First Class was before the reverse formation!

 

[Skiddaw]

Arriving in Leeds around 2001ish:

"We are shortly arriving at Leeds. For those Southerners on the train, please have your passports ready for inspection and be advised that ordering anything other than Tetley's is considered a deportable offence."

That's class!!