tfw756rider
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Not all trains play a chime before a manual announcement though.
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unprofessional onboard announcements
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godfreycomplex
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I think over the last month and a bit on this thread the one thing we’ve learned is it’s just not going to be possible to please individuals
They say using a pointless pleasantry like good morning is useful as it gives the brain time to focus on what it's hearing before the actual information arrives.
I keep it to 2 words, good morning, good afternoon or good evening, and otherwise my announcements are to the point.
I make one exception and that's on Fridays and Saturdays I wish people a good weekend at larger stations. I don't really know why, I know quite a lot of my regular passengers at least by face after many years and I do genuinely hope they have a good weekend. It can't go down too badly given the amount that go out of their way to wave or say goodbye to me on their way out
lxfe_mxtterz
Member
Before I make an announcement, I tend to tap the speaker twice so as the emulate a "bing bong". Also helps me to check the handset is working before I start speaking.
Undiscovered
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I carry a pocket glockenspiel for this very reason. Hi Di Hi, Campers.
There was a guard at New St who played a Bing-Bong from their phone to start announcements. It was reported as being very annoying and they were told to never do it again.
What we need are announcements that aren't too loud as they disturb people, but loud enough so you can always hear what's being said in case there's other noise around you.
Announcements must be made quickly to reduce the noise pollution, but done so slowly so you can fully understand what's being said.
Messages must also be highly detailed so explaining an incident is like reading an RAIB report and not just some pathetic excuse, and kept succinct because not everyone cares to hear every little detail and can look up things on their own if they want.
Disagree with 'folks' im afraid. A tad unprofessional.
Lewisham2221
Established Member
You're just trolling now, surely?
There's a difference between informal and unprofessional. I can see how someone might think that "folks" is a little informal, but I struggle with it being unprofessional
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CaptainHaddock
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Surely the test is, would someone from overseas for whom English is not their first language understand it? So yes, perhaps "folks" isn't the right term; even if anyone from overseas has heard the term it's likely they'll be confused by it being plural rather than singular!
jamiearmley
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Just stick with "good afternoon/morning/evening and welcome on board this, the xx:xx to xx:xx, calling at..."
No need for any honorifics.
No one excluded.
No one offended.
Simple.
No need for any honorifics.
No one excluded.
No one offended.
Simple.
TheManBehind
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Spoilsport. That said, I rather enjoyed when SWT got the 456s and they still had the chime on the announcement. Great fun on empty stock seeing how rapidly you could get them to go off before the driver buzzed you up and gave you some rather blue language about being annoying. Now that's unprofessional.
I suspect most people from a country with a Germanic-based language would broadly understand it - but "folks" I'd usually save for the weekend train with a casual crowd. All comes down to knowing your audience!
I'm here now
Member
I had announcements from Plymouth all the way down Cornwall starting with ‘Train Manager speaking…’ sometime in the past few years on GWR. Quite hilarious and over the top, but acceptable! He even promised to come round to every passenger and ask where they were going (or something of that ilk) - and then didn’t do that in our carriage after hyping it up so much.
HertiageFan
Member
We had a guard (we were with our disabled friend) and he was joking around to someone that if they broke their leg then they could get a disabled railcard and laughed about it
londonbridge
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On a National Express coach:
“In a few moments we’ll be arriving at (insert place name). If you’re leaving us here please make sure you take all your luggage and personal possessions with you, don’t leave anything behind or you’ll be seeing it on eBay on Monday morning”.
Notwithstanding my share of the responsibility, I once left an item of clothing behind on a coach, reported it as soon as I realised, but never got it back, so I didn’t find the announcement very amusing.
“In a few moments we’ll be arriving at (insert place name). If you’re leaving us here please make sure you take all your luggage and personal possessions with you, don’t leave anything behind or you’ll be seeing it on eBay on Monday morning”.
Notwithstanding my share of the responsibility, I once left an item of clothing behind on a coach, reported it as soon as I realised, but never got it back, so I didn’t find the announcement very amusing.
I'm a seasoned loser of property and would have found it amusing, it would also have made me pay attention and check properly.
Another good example of the impossibility of pleasing fun people and stuffed shirts simultaneously.
londonbridge
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To be fair I would probably also find it amusing if I hadn’t lost something myself.
On a GWR train from Cardiff to Paddington, after reaching Bristol Parkway a few minutes early:
"If you're staying on the train please note we're not scheduled to depart till 11.22 so we'll have to wait a bit. Don't panic and start pushing any buttons and levers. Just sit back and enjoy the scenery. On your left you can see a car park and on the right you can see another car park."
It made me smile!
"If you're staying on the train please note we're not scheduled to depart till 11.22 so we'll have to wait a bit. Don't panic and start pushing any buttons and levers. Just sit back and enjoy the scenery. On your left you can see a car park and on the right you can see another car park."
It made me smile!
pearto
New Member
Years ago (must have been around 2016ish) on a London Victoria-bound service I had a southeastern driver audibly burp mid-way through a 'welcome aboard' announcement somewhere near Bromley South. He did apologise afterwards though and it got a laugh out of most of us onboard.
trainophile
Established Member
Now that I do like. I bet it raised a lot of giggles.
dch82
Member
On a train that terminated London Bridge I clearly remember the driver saying "This is your friendly neighbourhood train driver speaking" before going through the usual terminus announcements manually.
My style of humour, but at comedy clubs, not broadcast on public transport. Baffling anybody would think this is appropriate really.
Sounds like a classic "be careful what you wish for" supplication.
rower40
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“We are now approaching <insert terminal station here> some 7 minutes early. On behalf of the train crew and <insert TOC here> I wish to apologise for this early arrival, and any inconvenience it may cause.”
From the Diamond Geezer blog:
Mon 25: Just after leaving Ipswich the train driver suddenly announced "If you look out of the window on the left you should be able to see a polar bear", and he was right.
diamondgeezer.blogspot.com
Mon 25: Just after leaving Ipswich the train driver suddenly announced "If you look out of the window on the left you should be able to see a polar bear", and he was right.
diamond geezer
Slightly offtopic, and more along the lines of rubbish automated announcements, but oh well...
I was on a Frecciarossa in Italy back last year and every 20 seconds (it felt like!) the automated system would tell you how to make a complaint. It speaks for itself that I remember a mundane thing like that, the dull voice is burned into my memory forever.
I was on a Frecciarossa in Italy back last year and every 20 seconds (it felt like!) the automated system would tell you how to make a complaint. It speaks for itself that I remember a mundane thing like that, the dull voice is burned into my memory forever.
And did you? About the incessant reminders?
I've never seen a negative passenger reaction to a guard's creative announcement; the presence of a real human being in charge of the train who is aware of his clients is always appreciated. I've also never heard a guard be offensive or abusive. Enjoy the journey.
WAO
WAO
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