unprofessional onboard announcements

[Purple Train]

I find it unprofessional when the train manager announces timings in the 12-hour clock which British Rail retired in 1965 to avoid confusion between AM and PM. Sixty years later you still hear an arrival at, for example, 21:36 being described as "just gone twenty-five to ten" as if we're too stupid to understand the 24-hour clock!

Like it or not, the 12-hour clock is a bit more widely understood than the 24-hour clock. It may be irritating to some of us who understand the 24-hour clock, yes, but unprofessional? Really?

There have been a couple of members of staff who have become well-known enough for amusing announcements to make it into the media, and all the ones I can remember have said they do it, not because they like announcing or think they're hilarious, but because a funny or non-usual announcement would make people take notice and listen, rather than just ignoring them all, missing important data, and then getting annoyed that they missed it. Given we have a new thread seemingly every week that announcements are excessive or annoying, with contributions often to the effect of "I don't listen to them any more", is this logic faulty inasmuch as the people who ignore automated announcements are the same people who label any attempt at humour as unprofessional and beneath them?

Is there any way to win at announcements, besides making the absolute bare minimum, as judged by a regular railway user, and leaving the inexperienced traveller to fend for themselves?

This isn't to defend some of the attempts at humour on this thread, as some of them are, in my opinion, not funny (which probably means they're not funny, as I'm very easily tickled). But that's not to change the fact that this is one of the most depressing threads I've read on the forum (excepting General Discussion).

 

[Royston Vasey]

Off-topic, but re the 24-hour clock: there's a convenience shop near me that advertises being open "from 09:00 til 06:00". Commendably long hours you might think, but they always close 12 hours early at 18:00!

Whilst in Japan during the 2018 World Cup, a pub I was drinking in reported the kick off time of a fixture as Friday at 27:00, which if you think about it makes perfect sense.

Given the railway day ends at 04:00, ive always thought that using a "28 hour clock" would actually align better for ticketing purposes for journeys commencing after midnight.

 

[Pyewipecarshed]

Like it or not, the 12-hour clock is a bit more widely understood than the 24-hour clock. It may be irritating to some of us who understand the 24-hour clock, yes, but unprofessional? Really?

There have been a couple of members of staff who have become well-known enough for amusing announcements to make it into the media, and all the ones I can remember have said they do it, not because they like announcing or think they're hilarious, but because a funny or non-usual announcement would make people take notice and listen, rather than just ignoring them all, missing important data, and then getting annoyed that they missed it. Given we have a new thread seemingly every week that announcements are excessive or annoying, with contributions often to the effect of "I don't listen to them any more", is this logic faulty inasmuch as the people who ignore automated announcements are the same people who label any attempt at humour as unprofessional and beneath them?

Is there any way to win at announcements, besides making the absolute bare minimum, as judged by a regular railway user, and leaving the inexperienced traveller to fend for themselves?

This isn't to defend some of the attempts at humour on this thread, as some of them are, in my opinion, not funny (which probably means they're not funny, as I'm very easily tickled). But that's not to change the fact that this is one of the most depressing threads I've read on the forum (excepting General Discussion).

I think you've hit the nail on the head here.
I don't think I've seen anything in this thread that could actually be deemed unprofessional. Even the XC Conductor who announced the wrong destination... trust me, many of us have done it, just usually without the whimsical stuff beforehand. I once got as far as Steeton and Silsden in an (uber-serious) announcement before realising we were going to Ilkley and not Skipton! But, tired, went to Skipton on the last run etc etc.

Some people find "off piste" announcements annoying and/or unfunny, but realise that it's a minor complaint so start chucking words like "unprofessional" in to try to make it sound more serious than it is.

I know a number of conductors who routinely add jokes into announcements, and indeed one who regularly starts speaking in Welsh (around West Yorkshire!). They do it for exactly the reason you state; it gets people's attention so that they're listening for the serious stuff. Which is extremely professional if you think about it...

 

[frankmoh]

Last week I was on a Southeastern train and it was stopped at a signal for 5 minutes.

The driver didn't say something along the lines of "Sorry for the wait, we are being held at a red signal," which I thought was a bit unusual.

 

[Edsmith]

Last week I was on a Southeastern train and it was stopped at a signal for 5 minutes.

The driver didn't say something along the lines of "Sorry for the wait, we are being held at a red signal," which I thought was a bit unusual.

I've heard such announcements numerous times, in fact I thought staff were encouraged to make them so that passengers know why the train has come to an unexpected standstill.

 

[Purple Train]

I've heard such announcements numerous times, in fact I thought staff were encouraged to make them so that passengers know why the train has come to an unexpected standstill.

They certainly are on the Elizabeth Line, and basically immediately at that. Quite often, the train stops, the PA chime goes off, and the driver says "We are currently being held at a red signal," and within about 15 seconds of stopping, the train is on the move again!

 

[frankmoh]

I've heard such announcements numerous times, in fact I thought staff were encouraged to make them so that passengers know why the train has come to an unexpected standstill.

5 minutes is quite a long wait with no explanation, especially when on the same line the journey of Clock House - New Beckenham - Lower Sydenham is 5 minutes too. It's certainly enough to miss a connection somewhere.

 

[WAB]

TfL policy is to make an announcement within 30 seconds if stopped between stations, and 90 seconds if waiting at a station. My understanding is that it was introduced in the wake of 7/7 to reassure passengers in the event of something that seemed out of course. With most passenger miles undertaken in tunnels, much of it minimal-clearance single-bore, it's pretty understandable.

I think something in this vein (maybe within 1 minute) for NR trains held outside of stations would be good practice, too.

 

[Krokodil]

It can take longer than that for the driver to get a response on the GSM-R

 

[WAB]

It can take longer than that for the driver to get a response on the GSM-R

It doesn't have to be a full explanation - only a holding message. The LU announcement normally gives little more than "we're waiting at a red signal, and should be on the move again shortly".

 

[styles]

TfL policy is to make an announcement within 30 seconds if stopped between stations, and 90 seconds if waiting at a station. My understanding is that it was introduced in the wake of 7/7 to reassure passengers in the event of something that seemed out of course. With most passenger miles undertaken in tunnels, much of it minimal-clearance single-bore, it's pretty understandable.

I think something in this vein (maybe within 1 minute) for NR trains held outside of stations would be good practice, too.

If it was a bombing, would the driver announce that the train in front had been bombed?

 

[Essexman]

On GWR now. Train manager keeps calling us ‘beautiful friends’. We’re not his friends and beauty is a matter of opinion. ‘Ladies & Gentlemen’ please.

 

[GordonT]

A post on a different thread rightly laments the mumbling/inaudible nature of important information over the station tannoy at the suburban platforms in Kings Cross during disruption.
In the context of onboard announcements I find mumbling/inaudible announcements (which may or may not be important) more annoying than any of the clearly spoken comedic or garrulous ones.

 

[lxfe_mxtterz]

On GWR now. Train manager keeps calling us ‘beautiful friends’. We’re not his friends and beauty is a matter of opinion. ‘Ladies & Gentlemen’ please.

Careful there... you might offend/upset a certain RMT rep who's name begins with an L.

 

[styles]

Here is actually an example of a TOC promoting the off script announcements:

20K views · 169 reactions | Cam, our onboard supervisor / guardian angel / train hype man Need anything between East Croydon and beyond? He’ll be making his way down the train so feel free to stop him in his tracks (his words, not ours ). The gree

Cam, our onboard supervisor / guardian angel / train hype man Need anything between East Croydon and beyond? He’ll be making his way down the train so feel free to stop him in his tracks (his...

www.facebook.com

 

[Undiscovered]

On GWR now. Train manager keeps calling us ‘beautiful friends’. We’re not his friends and beauty is a matter of opinion. ‘Ladies & Gentlemen’ please.

'Ladies and Gentlemen' is frowned upon in our on board announcement guidelines.

Careful there... you might offend/upset a certain RMT rep who's name begins with an L.

I'm out of the loop here. Which RMT rep would be offended?


I wonder how we'd cope with the level of announcements onboard a Renfe service, I experienced, last month. No guard that I saw, no announcements, either automatic or manual, except automatic for stations; waiting out in the middle of nowhere for minutes at a time; arriving at destination 20late in a two hour journey, and 30late on the return. Both services left on time, each way.

No explanations, nothing. Get off the train, there's the station exit, on ya go.

 

[StoneRoad]

If "my lords, ladies & gentlemen, officers and their wives, other ranks and their women" or variations thereof are no longer acceptable, perhaps "comrades" might cut the mustard.
Passengers or fellow travellers are both OK, but not customers, on board a train is not the same as in a shop.

I do think that the manner and number of automated announcements can be a tad oppressive, especially on a long journey.

 

[The exile]

I do think that the manner and number of automated announcements can be a tad oppressive, especially on a long journey.

Especially the ones cobbled together from word/ phrase sound bites (or more likely now - text to “speech”) where each individual word is pronounced “correctly” but the cadence of the whole sentence is wrong.

 

[jon0844]

Text to speech can be incredibly good these days. Many YouTube videos use entirely AI generated voiceovers. Some are terrible, sure, but by and large you can do it without the average person having a clue that it isn't a real person.

 

[The exile]

Text to speech can be incredibly good these days. Many YouTube videos use entirely AI generated voiceovers. Some are terrible, sure, but by and large you can do it without the average person having a clue that it isn't a real person.

That means there’s even less excuse for tolerating the incessant repetition of ones done badly.

 

[lxfe_mxtterz]

I'm out of the loop here. Which RMT rep would be offended?

Rail line apologises after conductor said 'good afternoon ladies and gentlemen'

London North Eastern Railway said in response to a complaint on Twitter that 'train managers should not be using language like this'

metro.co.uk

A train operator has sparked a debate after it apologised because the conductor greeted customers by saying ‘good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.’

London North Eastern Railway said in response to a complaint on Twitter that ‘train managers should not be using language like this’ before promising to take action.

The complaint was made by a non-binary passenger who goes by the Twitter name Laurence and uses the pronouns they and them.
Laurence said on their bio they represent the Rail, Maritime and Transport trade union.

Their complaint said: ‘”Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls…” so as a non binary person this announcement doesn’t actually apply to me so I won’t listen @LNER.’

In response, the train company said: ‘I’m really sorry to see this, Laurence, our Train Managers should not be using language like this, and I thank you for bringing it to my attention.

‘Please could you let me know which service you are on and I will ensure they remain as inclusive as we strive to be at LNER.’

Various other news outlets also available if you wish to read further into it.

 

[tfw756rider]

On GWR now. Train manager keeps calling us ‘beautiful friends’. We’re not his friends and beauty is a matter of opinion. ‘Ladies & Gentlemen’ please.

Careful there... you might offend/upset a certain RMT rep who's name begins with an L.

'Ladies and Gentlemen' is frowned upon in our on board announcement guidelines.

If "my lords, ladies & gentlemen, officers and their wives, other ranks and their women" or variations thereof are no longer acceptable, perhaps "comrades" might cut the mustard.

I'm a member of and support the LGBTQ+ community, but even then, I can use common sense and interpret "Ladies and Gentlemen" as being well-intentioned and not necessarily excluding people who don't identify as "gentlemen" or "ladies" (or men or women, or boys or girls).

Yes, "everyone" and "folks" are more inclusive, but they don't work at the start of an announcement like "Ladies and Gentlemen" does, unless preceded by good morning/afternoon/evening. To be honest, I haven't actually paid attention to how this is worked around?

 

[airantraigh]

Yes, "everyone" and "folks" are more inclusive, but they don't work at the start of an announcement like "Ladies and Gentlemen" does, unless preceded by good morning/afternoon/evening. To be honest, I haven't actually paid attention to how this is worked around?

I usually just say good [morning/afternoon etc] to all passengers onboard this the xx:xx [TOC] service to xx:xx simple as that really

 

[tfw756rider]

I usually just say good [morning/afternoon etc] to all passengers onboard this the xx:xx [TOC] service to xx:xx simple as that really

Thanks, yeah that works in that case But do you do it like that for every single thing? Like for example "good [morning/afternoon/evening] (everyone), apologies for the delay..." etc.?

 

[rower40]

My 2p:
Can the XC TMs please be reminded that, although the Voyagers travel at 125mph, the announcements don’t have to?
Getting information across is all about clarity, as it’s only a one-way channel - the listener hasn’t got the opportunity to say “what was that?”
So S L O W D O W N to get the message across!

 

[lachlan]

Yes, "everyone" and "folks" are more inclusive, but they don't work at the start of an announcement like "Ladies and Gentlemen" does, unless preceded by good morning/afternoon/evening. To be honest, I haven't actually paid attention to how this is worked around?

"Hello everyone" or "hello folks" works as well

 

[Krokodil]

"Hello folks" is something I'd expect to hear from Porky Pig

 

[philjo]

I was on a GWR service from Paddington earlier this week. The person doing the catering announcement shortly after departure was in giggles for most of it and there seemed to be a lot of giggling in the background. So most of the announcement was completely incomprehensible.

 

[tfw756rider]

"Hello everyone" or "hello folks" works as well

Oh yeah

 

[CaptainHaddock]

There's no need for any introduction at all. The announcement should be "(Bing Bong) * This is the xx.xx train to X. The next station will be Y". No more information is needed









* I'm not suggesting the guard should say "Bing Bong", that would just be silly. It's an onomatopoeic representation of the sound that precedes an announcement.