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Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

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Calthrop

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"This machine charges X amount for cash withdrawals."

Excuse you?
Bit of a tangent here -- my whimsy tends towards affecting childish misinterpretations. I thus like "fancying" that "Free cash withdrawals" means that by some miracle, the machine gives money away to you, without any diminishing of that which you have saved up. Like kids' imagining that a pub styling itself as a "free house": dispenses beer to its customers, without requiring money from them for it...
 

dangie

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Fireworks…..
Nothing against them per se, but I only think fireworks should be allowed at licensed displays. Should not be available to buy in shops.
 

Merle Haggard

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As a child, I genuinely thought a non-tied pub marked Free House, was a building going gratis to anyone enquiring.

I am quite old but possibly not yet mature, so I'm tempted by the sign 'Free Range Eggs', seen on the road side in the country, to call in and ask for some - at the same time enquiring what a Range bird looks like :)
 

Xenophon PCDGS

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Fireworks…..
Nothing against them per se, but I only think fireworks should be allowed at licensed displays. Should not be available to buy in shops.
After suffering three consecutive nights, when explosions of a very loud sound were often heard, what is the need for the multi-decibel emissions and has any government in power ever set a decibal limit of fireworks that are used at family establishments. With the wars in Ukraine and in the Middle East, do people in Britain need to feel that they are under an artillery barrage.

Historians have said it is in remembrance of the Gunpowder Plot which was thwarted, but there were no explosions at that time and what was proposed was mass murder, which is nothing to celebrate.

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Mischief Night for me, it was awful for anyone out on a bus after 6pm last night in Merseyside with buses being bricked, it was that bad all the West Derby Road routes (12, 13, 15, 18) got suspended for the rest of last night from 9pm last night, might be suspended again tonight as further antisocial behaviour is expected.
When did this event first occur in Britain and have there ever been Governmental attempts to totally ban it, noting how much damage has been caused over the years.
 
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dangie

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The BBC sending every man/woman and his/her dog over the Atlantic to cover the US Election.
Switched on TV this morning and two of the BBC Breakfast presenters are over there.

Why…..?

I’m sure what they do could be done from a UK studio.
 

Sun Chariot

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The BBC sending every man/woman and his/her dog over the Atlantic to cover the US Election.
Switched on TV this morning and two of the BBC Breakfast presenters are over there.

Why…..?

I’m sure what they do could be done from a UK studio.
The increased TV licence fee revenue needed something to get squandered on ;)
And, based on NightSleeper, they didn't spend it all on top-rate scriptwriting... :D
 

cb a1

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When did this event [Mischief Night] first occur in Britain and have there ever been Governmental attempts to totally ban it, noting how much damage has been caused over the years.
At least 234 years ago with first written reference in 1790 with some theorising it goes back to Roman times.
 

Gloster

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The BBC sending every man/woman and his/her dog over the Atlantic to cover the US Election.
Switched on TV this morning and two of the BBC Breakfast presenters are over there.

Why…..?

I’m sure what they do could be done from a UK studio.

Because they can’t win.

If they didn’t send a lot of journalists and presenters over there people, egged on by the Mail, Telegraph, News UK, GBNews and other undesirables, would be complaining that they don’t take such an important event seriously, aren’t keeping the people informed, are downplaying it, are nasty to that nice Mr Trump, etc. The BBC, for all its many failings, is the last rampart against the victory of disinformation.
 

nlogax

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Mostly Glasgow-ish. Mostly.
Today's minor irritation; jury duty. Something I've always wanted to experience and this week I thought I'd finally get my chance.
After clearing my plans in order to attend I get to the court along with all the other jurors only to be told the defendant pleaded guilty at the last minute. As that counts as duty done it also means I'm now exempt from more jury duty for the next five years.
 

Calthrop

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I'm the mirror-image opposite: confess to being a frivolous and "ostrich"-type, wishing for as little interaction with "real life", as possible. I'd always very strongly hoped not to be picked for jury duty -- especially with some relict ethical tendency, having me reckoning that should I turn out thus to be "it": I should perform thus, as thoughtfully and conscientiously as I could manage. Am glad that as things have come about, "this cup has passed from me"; with me now in my mid-seventies, it's no longer a concern.
 

Jimini

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Today's minor irritation; jury duty. Something I've always wanted to experience and this week I thought I'd finally get my chance.
After clearing my plans in order to attend I get to the court along with all the other jurors only to be told the defendant pleaded guilty at the last minute. As that counts as duty done it also means I'm now exempt from more jury duty for the next five years.

I had the exact same happen to me around eight years ago. Was at the Royal Courts of Justice as well so should have been quite the experience. Frustrating!
 

dangie

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Today's minor irritation; jury duty. Something I've always wanted to experience and this week I thought I'd finally get my chance.
After clearing my plans in order to attend I get to the court along with all the other jurors only to be told the defendant pleaded guilty at the last minute. As that counts as duty done it also means I'm now exempt from more jury duty for the next five years.
Is that correct? When I did my jury duty many years ago I was on three trails. One never materialised as the accused pleaded guilty prior to trial but I got to go on others*

* GBH and a theft of a kettle from Woolworths.
 

Jimini

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Is that correct? When I did my jury duty many years ago I was on three trails. One never materialised as the accused pleaded guilty prior to trial but I got to go on others*

* GBH and a theft of a kettle from Woolworths.

Yep, same happened to me. The court usher marked all of us as “jury duty complete”, without even stepping into a courtroom.
 

Statto

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8 Feb 2011
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At home or at the pub
Bus companies that plaster the whole of the blind with scrolling messages, that passengers can't see what route the bus is operating on, i get the sentiments from the messages, but if the bus companies have to put scrolling messages on the blind, can they at least show the route number as well.

This is the type of scrolling message i'm ok with, at least its showing the route number.

 

dangie

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Well in his dull sunless weather this has cheered me up no end :frown:

From he BBC:
‘Dreary weather in the UK blamed on anticyclonic gloom’

My go-to weather app is showing no appreciable sunshine for the foreseeable future. Think I’ll have to look for a different app.
 

AM9

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Well in his dull sunless weather this has cheered me up no end :frown:

From he BBC:
‘Dreary weather in the UK blamed on anticyclonic gloom’

My go-to weather app is showing no appreciable sunshine for the foreseeable future. Think I’ll have to look for a different app.
Well it isn't just November, one of the poorest months for sunshine, - its also 2024, where the increase in surface temperature of the seas are creating more and more moisture in the sky (i.e. clouds) which then cloaks the lowering of land surface temperatures and resulting in dank weather for much of the time. We will have to get used to this in the future. At least is isn't like Spain is suffering this year.
 

Falcon1200

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Neilston, East Renfrewshire
On board trains, along with usual sniffers, sneezers and coughers, a new irritant the other day; A ticket tapper. Constantly, but irregularly, on the table across from me. I did, just, manage to restrain myself from grabbing his ticket and tearing it into a thousand pieces.

Such behaviour should be banned and all such people ejected from the train.
 

dangie

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.…At least is isn't like Spain is suffering this year.
That is true. Maybe dull isn’t so bad.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: ==

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People who expect everything to work 100% of the time, all day, everyday, then complain like like hell when that once in a blue moon occurrence when it doesn’t.

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Another irritation is when one post automerges with a previous post :)
 
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BrummieBobby

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16 May 2022
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Birmingham
People commenting on music videos on YouTube

"Hey, who is still listening in 2024?"

Arrgh, it irritates me! If you have nothing meaningful to say, don't comment!
 

Drogba11CFC

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Automatic Windows updates.

At the very least, they should be forced to understand "I'm gaming, back of the f***ing queue!"
 

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