Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[PeterY]

Always thought you had some odd views, and this confirms it!

Gherkins are the work of the devil and there should be a global ban on them. Whoever first looked at one and thought "I know, let's eat that" was a seriously deranged individual.

Gherkins should be banned, awful things.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Gherkins should be banned, awful things.

Yummy gherkins. Perfect on a cheese sandwich.

I like sprouts too, best oven cooked drizzled with oil, and for bonus taste add bacon bits too. Am I really mad?

 

[Jimini]

Yummy gherkins. Perfect on a cheese sandwich.

I like sprouts too, best oven cooked drizzled with oil, and for bonus taste add bacon bits too. Am I really mad?

Yes. Yes you are!

I do however salute you for pointing out the triple sausage McMuffin trick though. I’ll be trying that on Thursday morning when the wife’s going to the office for sure! Can you bung in an extra egg as well?

 

[yorksrob]

Sprouts are wonderful !

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Sprouts are wonderful !

Only if cooked properly. Pan-fried in garlic butter with pine nuts and a bit of salt and basil.

Iceberg lettuce on the other hand? The most pointless vegetable the world has ever seen.

 

[yorksrob]

Only if cooked properly. Pan-fried in garlic butter with pine nuts and a bit of salt and basil.

Iceberg lettuce on the other hand? The most pointless vegetable the world has ever seen.

Even if they're a bit tough, they're wonderful.

Lettuce is pointless and detracts from the other flavours.

 

[PeterY]

Sprouts are wonderful !

Yes I love sprouts but only the way my mum cooked them, boiled for 20 minutes. Nice and mushy.

 

[ABB125]

Proper pickled gherkins are tasty (but only on their own; like many foods, I don't like them combined with other stuff, eg: in a sandwich).

What I would ban is onion.

(Ducks for cover...)

 

[Bletchleyite]

Yes. Yes you are!

I do however salute you for pointing out the triple sausage McMuffin trick though. I’ll be trying that on Thursday morning when the wife’s going to the office for sure! Can you bung in an extra egg as well?

Can't remember about another egg I'm afraid. You used to be able to add any number of sausages (and patties to a Big Mac) but sadly they "fixed" it, I think after some quite well publicised silly orders some people did.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 30 Jul 2022 ==

Yes I love sprouts but only the way my mum cooked them, boiled for 20 minutes. Nice and mushy.

Must be getting near time to get them on ready for Christmas, no?

 

[yorksrob]

Yes I love sprouts but only the way my mum cooked them, boiled for 20 minutes. Nice and mushy.

They've got to be mushy !

Al dente is the devil's work !

 

[Ediswan]

Yummy gherkins. Perfect on a cheese sandwich.

I like sprouts too, best oven cooked drizzled with oil, and for bonus taste add bacon bits too. Am I really mad?

Nothing wrong with gherkins. Personally I like bacon bits with vegetables. But I do recall the chef for the company canteen being asked not to add them. It was significantly limiting the meal options for vegetarians and those who specifically don't eat pork.

A previous smaller canteen sometimes served grilled trout. There were complaints from people who don't like food on the counter looking back at them. The next batch of trout had the heads cut off. Complaints from people that it made the fish more fiddly to eat. The next batch of trout had a neat row of watercress covering the heads. Everybody happy.

 

[Busaholic]

Gherkins should be banned, awful things.

According to an article in today's Times gherkins are now in short supply because of the amount of heat they need in glasshouses. I am with you 100% on their revoltingness.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Inspired by a post in the "Things young people don't say" thread:

I propose a ban (and public pelting with rotten tomatoes) of anyone who, when verbally giving a phone number (admittedly a less frequent thing these days) doesn't stick to the true rhythm of how numbers should go. For example:
"Oh seven blank blank blank [pause] blank blank blank [short pause] blank blank blank" is the correct way. Splitting the final six digits into three twos instead of two threes is also acceptable. People who give the first three or four digits and then pause should line up for the stocks.

 

[krus_aragon]

Inspired by a post in the "Things young people don't say" thread:

I propose a ban (and public pelting with rotten tomatoes) of anyone who, when verbally giving a phone number (admittedly a less frequent thing these days) doesn't stick to the true rhythm of how numbers should go. For example:
"Oh seven blank blank blank [pause] blank blank blank [short pause] blank blank blank" is the correct way. Splitting the final six digits into three twos instead of two threes is also acceptable. People who give the first three or four digits and then pause should line up for the stocks.

May I have special dispensation to say "Oh double-seven blank blank" ? I agree with you on the later part, though.

 

[Techniquest]

Pasta,what a total waste of time !

I'd like to know more about why you don't like pasta! It might not be the most exciting food out there, on its own, but it's still pretty good for you Much better than the McDonald's stuff people have been discussing recently!

On which note:

People who like gherkins are weird, in my opinion. They're up there with kiwi in my view, just rather unpleasant and not for me thanks.

Here's a possible source of controversy:

Adding salt when cooking pasta/pierogi/vegetables/rice, yay or nay? For me, I deem it totally unnecessary, especially if adding a gravy/sauce to the meal. With the huge amount of salt in gravy granules (I'm too lazy to make it with Oxo cubes, flour etc ) and pasta sauces, there's no need to add a load of salt to the main components.

I know the women of the family use a bucket-load of salt when cooking vegetables, which doesn't suit me so much. I'm curious if others agree that there isn't a need to add salt to vegetables or other stuff though, even if that supposedly goes against tradition!

 

[jfollows]

Adding salt when cooking pasta/pierogi/vegetables/rice, yay or nay? For me, I deem it totally unnecessary, especially if adding a gravy/sauce to the meal. With the huge amount of salt in gravy granules (I'm too lazy to make it with Oxo cubes, flour etc ) and pasta sauces, there's no need to add a load of salt to the main components.

I love pasta and I add lots of salt when I'm cooking it. My view is that I don't eat processed food in the main with lots of hidden salt, and the amount I add to my own cooking is low in comparison. My dad went on an anti-salt thing before he died, but as a result his food was generally lacking in taste. That's not to say that you can't overcome the lack of salt in other ways, but he didn't.
I'm also weird in your opinion because I like gherkins and kiwi, the only notable food I don't like any more is snails and that's because they make me ill - having eaten them happily for many years I had big problems with them in Paris, so I tried again in Barcelona with the same result, and then Paris again, so I concluded sadly that they were no longer for me.
I very rarely boil vegetables, sometimes I steam them (and I add salt) but mainly I fry them initially and then put the lid on the pan and cook them that way - I don't like the idea of tipping away bright green water having boiled them with all the goodness in the water down the plughole.
I eat virtually anything but I'm not a fan of "traditional" joints of meat, especially lamb, because it's too obviously fatty. Just to the extent that I don't buy and cook these things myself, and would happily eat them if they were cooked for me elsewhere.

 

[Bletchleyite]

I never salt anything other than chips. Never seen a need.

 

[ABB125]

Inspired by a post in the "Things young people don't say" thread:

I propose a ban (and public pelting with rotten tomatoes) of anyone who, when verbally giving a phone number (admittedly a less frequent thing these days) doesn't stick to the true rhythm of how numbers should go. For example:
"Oh seven blank blank blank [pause] blank blank blank [short pause] blank blank blank" is the correct way.

That is indeed correct

Splitting the final six digits into three twos instead of two threes is also acceptable.

This, however, is wrong. My mum often does it, and it's hideous to listen to!

People who give the first three or four digits and then pause should line up for the stocks.

What about 0800 numbers, 0345 etc?

 

[Acey]

"I'd like to know more about why you don't like pasta! It might not be the most exciting food out there, on its own, but it's still pretty good for you Much better than the McDonald's stuff people have been discussing recently!"

Not sure really,something about the texture ,I have to have it liberally smothered in a rich tomato/cheesy sauce to enjoy it,quite agree about the Mc burger thingies though ,never touch any takeaways !

 

[gg1]

"Oh seven blank blank blank [pause] blank blank blank [short pause] blank blank blank blank" is the correct way.

Yes, that is the correct way

 

[duncanp]

Inspired by a post in the "Things young people don't say" thread:

I propose a ban (and public pelting with rotten tomatoes) of anyone who, when verbally giving a phone number (admittedly a less frequent thing these days) doesn't stick to the true rhythm of how numbers should go. For example:
"Oh seven blank blank blank [pause] blank blank blank [short pause] blank blank blank" is the correct way. Splitting the final six digits into three twos instead of two threes is also acceptable. People who give the first three or four digits and then pause should line up for the stocks.

No, it is YOU that need to be pelted with rotten tomatoes.

When I give my mobile phone number, I say Oh seven blank [pause] blank blank blank blank [pause] blank blank blank blank

But there is a special place in hell reserved for people who misquote London phone numbers.

It is 020 8*** **** or 020 7*** **** (as confirmed by Ofcom when London phone numbers were changed)

NOT, and I repeat NOT

0208 *** **** or 0207 *** ****

Never mind just rotten tomatoes, these people should be publicly flogged.

 

[D6130]

Pasta,what a total waste of time !

Spending nearly half the year in Italy as we do, My wife and I obviously eat a lot of pasta - both there and in the UK - as it is very nutritious (protein and carbs) and also very filling. Sure it's totally bland and almost tasteless on its own....but it's supposed to be a vehicle for the huge number of delicious sauces created by Italian housewives and chefs, both meaty, fishy and vegetarian. For those with a wheat intolerance, a whole range of pasta is available made from other cereals, such as maize/rice, buckwheat and powdered beans, peas and chickpeas....all of which adds to the large varieties of flavours and textures available. Of course boiled pasta should always be served 'al dente', not in a soggy mush, although baked pasta dishes, such as lasagne, canneloni and timbale, will be much softer.

 

[coradiafan2000]

Packets of sweets and crisps in cinemas. There's nothing worse than when you're trying to watch a film and you just hear loud rustling behind you, doubly worse if they're loudly crunching.

 

[duncanp]

Packets of sweets and crisps in cinemas. There's nothing worse than when you're trying to watch a film and you just hear loud rustling behind you, doubly worse if they're loudly crunching.

....or people who noisily crunch on an apple.

Used to drive me mad when I worked in an office.

very annoying.

 

[Jimini]

I never salt anything other than chips. Never seen a need.

Same here!

 

[gg1]

....or people who noisily crunch on an apple.

Used to drive me mad when I worked in an office.

very annoying.

Absolutely, to quite extreme lengths in my case.

The rustling of crisp or sweet packets is merely annoying, the sound of someone eating an apple is like fingers down a blackboard to me.

 

[Busaholic]

Packets of sweets and crisps in cinemas. There's nothing worse than when you're trying to watch a film and you just hear loud rustling behind you, doubly worse if they're loudly crunching.

The stench of popcorn too, one of the most revolting American imports ever.

 

[duncanp]

Absolutely, to quite extreme lengths in my case.

The rustling of crisp or sweet packets is merely annoying, the sound of someone eating an apple is like fingers down a blackboard to me.

I am glad it is not just me.

Noisy apple eaters should be put in the stocks and pelted with rotten apple cores, and then made to listen to a recording of someone noisily eating an apple all night, so they can't get to sleep.

 

[Purple Train]

The stench of popcorn too, one of the most revolting American imports ever.

The taste of popcorn.
In fact everything about popcorn.
Just ban it all.

 

[Busaholic]

But there is a special place in hell reserved for people who misquote London phone numbers.

It is 020 8*** **** or 020 7*** **** (as confirmed by Ofcom when London phone numbers were changed)

NOT, and I repeat NOT

0208 *** **** or 0207 *** ****

Never mind just rotten tomatoes, these people should be publicly flogged.

I don't dispute your reasoning, but it's an argument that's long been lost, with almost all businesses that use such numbers quoting them in print, on the internet and on the side of vans in the way you deplore. Of course, the reason given originally by B.T. for the change has proved to be utterly spurious, costing businesses a lot of money unnecessarily.