Train Etiquette

[Greenback]

Hmmm, I like football, my other half likes soaps, neither of us like Keats or ballet!

I'd be as irritated with anyone talking about such things, but only if they were ignoring their children while doing so!

I don't care what people's interests are, as long as they at least try to behave in a reasonable and considerate fashion!

 

[jon0844]

I must remember only to talk loudly about the works of John Keats and the latest Royal Ballet tour!

Who does Keats play for?

 

[Flamingo]

That's the old army joke:
Sgt to unit on parade: "Today in the education hour, the Major is giving a talk on Keats. I bet none of you ignoramuses even know what a Keat is".

 

[Johnnie2Sheds]

Hello all new here.....been lurking etc etc.

I just try to think of the screaming child paying my pension in a few years time....seems to work.

 

[trainophile]

If "a few years" is more than about ten, I wouldn't hold your breath!

Welcome to the forums, it's good here .

 

[Crossover]

2) Bags on seats/must have double seat to myself - I make a beeline for these people and move their bags. I have noticed that GC have started announcements along the lines of "this train is very full please remove all luggage etc for the seats, any bag sitting on a seat will be charged a full single ticket if not already in possession of a valid ticket"!
3) Quiet Coach noise makers - Stop it or i will tell you to shut up - it is the quiet coach for a reason.
5)People crowding round vestibules when there are more seats further down the train/People who don’t look at/realise reservation tickets may not be for the whole journey - Why are you standing you fools! I have given up trying to point vacant seats out to people.

I have read the entire thread but have come back to this older post as it covers most of what I was going to mention which I want to extend on a little:

2 - I have to admit I am guilty of this, putting my bag on the seat next to me if it is empty (mainly so, like others, I can get to a book etc plus so I can keep it well in sight), but, as others have said, I would move it if the train got busy or if someone asked to sit there and I'd put it on the floor. I think it is fair to say that in human nature, most people would prefer to sit on their own if travelling alone, but naturally, this cannot always be the case.

3 - I have been in the quiet coach on a number of occasions where people have been purposely talking loudly, though usually they have calmed down after a little while. I had to laugh the other day though when I was on a Voyager heading from Manchester. Most of the train was pretty quiet (plenty spare seats around) which the guard announced a number of times. Just as we pulled into Stoke, the guard came on to make clear the quiet coach was exactly that and if you wanted to make noise to move forward into coach C (which I was in) or D. I suspect someone maybe complained about the noise.

5 - More often than not I end up standing, even when they are the few odd seats around. Partly as I prefer not to be crammed into a busy carriage and I also usually have luggage with me, so its easier to stay with it (and safer having nearly had it taken from a train once)
I am probably also in the guilty party of not moving down inside a train, mainly for fear of never getting out again, and I suspect this is why a number of other people don't either.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

Next time I'm on my mobile on a train I must remember only to talk loudly about the works of John Keats and the latest Royal Ballet tour!

Or travel on a rush hour service into the City and pretend to be having a "big money" conversation with some important backers or something and talk about buying large chunks of shares in some companies and dumping others on the market.

Then watch the crowd around you to see who grins and who panics...
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That's the old army joke:
Sgt to unit on parade: "Today in the education hour, the Major is giving a talk on Keats. I bet none of you ignoramuses even know what a Keat is".

out of interest, it was apparently an ancestor of mine who first used the word "ignoramus".

 

[transportphoto]

One major thing that annoys me has already been mentioned - for example: On a local bus route in Norwich there had been a 15minute delay due to a bus failure, this was a double decker. The following bus was a Dennis Dart (Single Decker), I was in a group of about 20 school children boarding at the same stop, there for this bus became standing room only. ~5 stops down the road a furious lady got on complaining to the driver that there was no seats and that these teen's should give up their seats so she (with her OAP Pass) could sit down. The driver polity pointed out that seats are prioritised for fare paying passengers and that she wasn't one. After further delaying the overall service by about 5 mins she walked down the isle and took a seat.

All was quiet until some other OAP's got on, she immediately 'ordered' myself and some other's to give-up their seats to them. In this case we refused, pointing out that she has no control over this bus and that seats are offered as a first come, first serve basis. (We weren't even in Disabled / OAP Priority seats) The OAP couple were happy and fully understood our reasoning - they were happy to stand (and were physically able to).


Rant over - sorry if it is a bit OTT.
Please don't make personal attacks because of our actions

 

[moonrakerz]

That's the old army joke:
Sgt to unit on parade: "Today in the education hour, the Major is giving a talk on Keats. I bet none of you ignoramuses even know what a Keat is".

The other one is:

"Do you like Kipling"

"I don't know, I've never Kippled" !

 

[GNER 373]

Hello all new here.....been lurking etc etc.

I just try to think of the screaming child paying my pension in a few years time....seems to work.

Welcome!

 

[stut]

Or travel on a rush hour service into the City and pretend to be having a "big money" conversation with some important backers or something and talk about buying large chunks of shares in some companies and dumping others on the market.

Which reminds me of something that happened to me back when I was a frequent flyer.

I was in the KLM lounge at Heathrow waiting for a flight to Schiphol, and in there with me was a young, rather loudmouthed banker bawling into his mobile about negotiation tactics for funding for a going IT concern. After a few minutes, it became clear that it was the going concern that a friend of mine worked at (and had done since it was a startup).

A listen in, and a quick, much more quiet and private phonecall later, and my friend's company was very well informed indeed. They did particularly well out of that negotiation, for some reason.

Amazing what people will discuss loudly in public.

(And I won't even go into the dizzying array of STD treatments I once heard about upstairs at the back of the 77 bus in Tooting one day...)

 

[Greenback]

One major thing that annoys me has already been mentioned - for example: On a local bus route in Norwich there had been a 15minute delay due to a bus failure, this was a double decker. The following bus was a Dennis Dart (Single Decker), I was in a group of about 20 school children boarding at the same stop, there for this bus became standing room only. ~5 stops down the road a furious lady got on complaining to the driver that there was no seats and that these teen's should give up their seats so she (with her OAP Pass) could sit down. The driver polity pointed out that seats are prioritised for fare paying passengers and that she wasn't one. After further delaying the overall service by about 5 mins she walked down the isle and took a seat.

All was quiet until some other OAP's got on, she immediately 'ordered' myself and some other's to give-up their seats to them. In this case we refused, pointing out that she has no control over this bus and that seats are offered as a first come, first serve basis. (We weren't even in Disabled / OAP Priority seats) The OAP couple were happy and fully understood our reasoning - they were happy to stand (and were physically able to).


Rant over - sorry if it is a bit OTT.
Please don't make personal attacks because of our actions

In this area young people still vacate seats for old people, whether they are marked as priority or not!

I also think that it;s wrong for a driver to say that seats are prioritised in any way - as you say they are taken on a first come, firsts erved basis.

Off topic a bit, but we were on a LOndon bus to Wood Green during 2009. We had been to the PDC World Darts at Ally Pally, and all the buses were absolutely jam packed. At one stop a woman was outraged that this was the 5th bus in a row that she couldn't physically get on! I did feel a bit sorry for her, because she was probably a regular traveller and could just see a load of visitors stopping her from making her regular journey. I couldn;t hear properly, but I think she said she had to get to work.

Still, she could live near Manchester an dhave to put up with those sorts of conditions on the traine very day!

 

[GodAtum]

That raises an interesting question, should space be prioritised for commuters over tourists?

 

[Oswyntail]

That raises an interesting question, should space be prioritised for commuters over tourists?

Effectively that is already done, with the Off Peak/Peak split, further exaggerated by the cheapness of season tickets.

 

[Talent Search]

• 
  People getting off a train and just stopping in front of everyone else.

• 
  Luggage with long handles and a user with bad spatial awareness.

I can't stress how much this annoys me!

Why get in the front cab and then slow down!

 

[chuckles1066]

• 
  Luggage with long handles and a user with bad spatial awareness.

Don't stop there; now the rain is here, how about females with rolled-up umbrellas who seem totally unaware that, since we're all stood up and crushed together like, um, things that get crushed together, the waggling around of their brolleys in the very close proximity of my private parts is, whilst not an entirely unpleasant experience, not "my bag" on the 08.30 to London Paddington

Tasty sort as well, just no spatial awareness.

 

[D6975]

I find it annoying when someone gets up early to be at the door to be first to get off, parking all their luggage up behind them and then hasn't got a clue how to open the door, causing delay to everyone.

On the buses I find it amazing that people who have been waiting for ages for a bus don't have any money ready when they board and everyone has to wait while they search their bag. I recently watched two women board a bus and the first one did just this, taking an age to find it while the second just stood there and looked on. Then the second came to pay and guess what???
Deja vu you could say.

I always used to try to get a table on the train, but nowadays when I'm on my own I always go for an airline style seat, leaving tables for family groups to use. There are so few tables on most trains now I think it's inconsiderate to take a table seat when you're travelling solo.

 

[GodAtum]

When someone sits next to you on an airline seat when you are the only people in the carriage :roll:

 

[Sapphire Blue]

When someone sits next to you on an airline seat when you are the only people in the carriage :roll:

Well I thought it was nice to meet YOU!

 

[Mojo]

People who carry those massive golf umbrellas horizontally rather than vertically.

 

[jon0844]

On the buses I find it amazing that people who have been waiting for ages for a bus don't have any money ready when they board and everyone has to wait while they search their bag.

You know they're on their way to the supermarket to do the exact same thing at the checkout!

 

[route101]

You know they're on their way to the supermarket to do the exact same thing at the checkout!

Ive worked in Retail and its always woman that do this

I often travel solo so i always go for the Airline seats .

 

[deltic1989]

One thing that gets to me is when the train is evidently crowded people sit in the airline style seats on the seat furthest from the window leaving the seat closest to the window totally empty.

Also coming back to ettiquette rather than general moaning..... If you are going to have a five nuckle shuffle in the toilet lock the door first..... I shall explain..... When I was in the Navy i frequently used the train to get from Lincoln to Plymouth.
On one journey I decided to go via London and hence boarded a FGW HST which have nice modern sliding doors on the WCs that dont lock automatically, so feeling the call of nature i made my way to the WC and pressed the door open button, which gracefully slid open to reveal a gent in full flow of bashing his bishop *cringe*
Alternatively just wait till you get home.

 

[scotsman]

When people use off-duty Stewards appearance to try a crap chat-up line in earshot of said Stewards. Tempted to lean over and go, 'Ok mate, you've been warned about harassing folk...'

 

[Welshman]

Talking a while back of mobile phones on trains - I remember some time ago journeying from Grantham to Leeds, and there was a young man in the coach[not the Quiet Coach], on his mobile from leaving Grantham [excluding the short passage of Peascliffe Tunnel], begging his girlfriend to let him spend Christmas with her. He was so earnest in his pleading and seemed oblivious to anyone else in the coach and was talking quite loudly to overcome the noise of the train.
We couldn't help but overhear, but he didn't seem to care - protesting the other woman meant nothing to him and saying how much he wanted to be with her and see his children again over Christmas, and how sorry he was for how he'd hurt her and everything, etc, etc. He didn't seem to notice that by Newark the rest of the coach had fallen silent, as we were now anxiously hanging on his every word. And as the train slowed for Doncaster, she gave in to his pleading, and he was so overjoyed. And it was all the rest of us could do not to cheer him and give him a standing ovation!!
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When someone sits next to you on an airline seat when you are the only people in the carriage :roll:

A friend of mine used to turn to the person, smile sweetly and say, "And do you know the Lord Jesus?"

That usually did the trick.

 

[marts]

On the way home from St Pancras to Sheffield, had a Chinese bloke constanly talking on his mobile all the way home! The only thing that stopped him was when he lost connection, that just caused him to look at the phone, tap it, bang it on the table then mutter something in Chinese, once the signal came back he was straight back into the conversation.

 

[Striker]

On the way home from St Pancras to Sheffield, had a Chinese bloke constanly talking on his mobile all the way home! The only thing that stopped him was when he lost connection, that just caused him to look at the phone, tap it, bang it on the table then mutter something in Chinese, once the signal came back he was straight back into the conversation.

How do you know he was Chinese?
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A friend of mine used to turn to the person, smile sweetly and say, "And do you know the Lord Jesus?"

That usually did the trick.

As someone earlier pointed out, that works fine until the person you turn to turns out to be religious. Seeing as Christianity is Britain's biggest pasttime after fishing, there's a good chance they will know the Lord Jesus.

 

[Flamingo]

A friend of mine used to turn to the person, smile sweetly and say, "And do you know the Lord Jesus?"

That usually did the trick.

Two passengers were being charged up by a colleague, and they asked him if God was with him. He said "Why?" and they replied "God is with us", so he said "Well that's three tickets you need then!"

 

[moonrakerz]

When someone sits next to you on an airline seat when you are the only people in the carriage :roll:

That reminds me of a Matt cartoon in the Telegraph at the height of the Mad Cow saga.

A man is sitting in an otherwise empty bus with a large cow sitting alongside of him - he is saying to himself - "why does the loony always sit next to me ?"

 

[GodAtum]

Lol, I try to be polite and if the carriage is empty sit away from other people. For example I would not sit behind a lady if there was another seat available.