You seem to be really determined to paint OOC in as bad a light as possible, by exaggerating the downside and ignoring the benefits.
The fast line planning headway from Reading is 2 minutes. By having two platform faces (i.e. an island platform) for each direction, the platforms can be used alternately, so with 6 tracks available onward into Paddington trains should be able to approach OOC freely, without undue signal checks.
As for the time penalty in stopping, I'd suggest you take a look at Milton Keynes in the Down direction. The WCML fast lines are notoriously full. The linespeed here is 125 mph. The penalty for a train stopping, making a 2 minute stop, and accelerating up to line speed again totals 4.5 minutes. So with trains not having to accelerate up to 125 mph from OOC towards Paddington, 4 minutes seems to me to be an accurate estimation / calculation.
Also, when considering the "who benefits" question, it is important to ensure you measure the end-to-end journey time, instead of measuring to the bufferstops at Paddington. The greater connectivity offered at OOC means that many people heading towards north and east London will do better to change at OOC than going via Paddington, via the North London Line, and West London Line.
As for Crossrail, I suspect the regular passengers may cotton on to the benefits of asymmetric travel patterns. If commuting from (say) Reading to Central London (via Crossrail) and return, I would change at OOC in the morning to get a seat on the Crossrail trains starting from there, and change at Paddington in the evening to get a seat on the GWR train on the way home.